Author: anthony Page 29 of 78

I took the day off today and got up bright and early to go to the Portage Lakes State park for a hike in my kilt. And winter coat, boots, scarf, gloves and hat.

I got lost driving there, somehow, and of course ended up in Barberton. If I’m going to get lost while driving, I inevitably end up in Barberton. No one knows why.

Anyway, I finally got there and parked my car in the first lot – then set out for my hike.

And, unsurprisingly, I had the whole park to myself. I saw a couple of maintenance trucks when my path took me near a parking lot, but otherwise I was alone.

It was peaceful and quiet. Kind of somber with the bare trees and maybe a little lonely.

I took the Shoreline Trail and though I lost the trail a few times, I wasn’t really lost. I would soon find a signpost and I was back on track. I saw some swans, some loons, and a woodpecker, but no people.

I started to get a little tired and decided to head back for my car.

And then I got lost.

Not, “I’m going to die alone in the wilderness and wolves with gnaw on my bones”, but “This is fairly annoying”

I stayed lost for a bit and my sense of direction was actively working against me. I did find a road and figured I was in the home stretch, but I ended up going the wrong direction.

Finally, I got out my phone and fired up Google Maps to look for the entrance to the park – by foot. I headed West – against my criminal sense of direction – and it said I was still 17 minutes away.

And then the sky opened up and the snow came down in a sudden squall. Visibility dropped to a few yards and I started looking for the wolves. And regretting that I didn’t wear underwear under my kilt. I don’t know why that suddenly bothered me, but it did.

I confirmed my direction again with my phone, then put my head down and forged ahead.

The sky cleared in a few minutes with nary a wolf in sight and I soon found the main road and then my car.

I was tired and cold and hungry – and feeling more that a little stupid. But I was still glad I went. Not sure how far it was, but lets call it 4 miles.

I took a hot shower when I got home and there’s pizza baking in the oven. Good way to spend my morning – but next time I’m picking up a map of the trails before I head out.

Jim has been having some trouble with his foot recently and along with some other treatments his doctor also gave him a sample of Biofreeze. On the bottom of his foot, it provided some relief. On the top, however, he instead got a excruciatingly painful response with tightened skin and prominent veins.

I was curious about this since I’ve never seen a reaction like that and – in a show of solidarity – I suggested he put some on the top of my foot. Because I’m a bad-ass, also.

He was hesitant, but went ahead with the roll-on applicator.

Nothing. No reaction at all.

He then added some of the gel version – still nothing. It didn’t get hot or cold – maybe just a little cooler from evaporation.

We were both puzzled, but I put my sock and shoe back on and went on home.

Thundercat was interested in the smell of my shoe and since he likes to chew on shoe laces, I took my shoe off and was just in my sock feet.

That was a mistake.

The smell of the biofreeze was intensely fascinating to him and he kept licking and biting at my sock-covered foot. When I tried to get him to leave me alone, he lashed out at me with full-on claws.

After a couple hits, I sat on my foot on the couch to defend it. He keep walking past to check to see if I was vulnerable, but I stayed in defensive mode until I went to take my shower and wash it off.

We have a… strange relationship, my cat and I.

———————-

Jim’s also been having trouble with his laptop and he called me last evening for some tech support. The screen had gone black, but he was still getting the pop-up calendar reminders. And there was a youtube video of a watercolor painting tutorial still playing somewhere – we could hear the audio only.

I suggested a couple of things – restarting, checking to see if it was in presentation mode, etc. – but no luck. We exhausted what I could suggest over the phone and he was going to have to call Apple support after he was done with his homework.

I finished up a project I was working on at home, then realized it was early enough to go over to his place and see if I could help in person.

I got there and he handed me the laptop. I sat down, opened the screen…

…And everything was fine. The wallpaper was up on the screen and we had files and program icons there as well. We had to switch desktops to see the log-in and that let him in. There was a note about an update having installed and I’m guessing it was in the middle of that when he started using it.

So, I “fixed” it literally by being in the room and touching it.

Skillz.
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I got contacted by the Maker Faire people for the event coming up in May. They had featured me in their Meet a Maker newsletter and a local reporter wanted to interview me. Super cool!

(note: that was Meet a Maker. Not Meet Your Maker. Which would be an entirely different kind of faire.)

I responded back right away and said I’d be happy to. Then the reporter found out I lived and worked in Akron – and their paper only covered certain counties. So, no interview for me.

I’m making progress on rebuilding the giant cube to make it more portable. 2/3 of the way down with the folding and then I’ll need to put them together. Slow going, but I’m getting there.

I’ve noticed in recent years an odd, but interesting, trend. When I’m talking to friends or family, their little kids tend to grab me by the hand and drag me off to another room.

Well, I let them drag me off – they aren’t exactly in my weight class.

And once they’ve got me away from the adults, I’m pulled right into what-ever video game or story or adventure they desperately need to show me.

I think they recognize that while I speak “adult” when needed – mostly – I’m really just a tall kid. Eventually, I’ll wander back to the adults and the kids are usually okay with that. They know I’m fluent in dragon, minecraft, stickers, and giant fighting robots – or whatever language they are using at the moment. I could teach a master’s class in Lego (play well) and I even speak a little My Little Pony – though with an admittedly odd dialect.

[they’ve got a character named and modeled after Discord – the goddess of chaos and strife. That’s hardcore.]

It’s got to look a little odd when I get co-opted, but I think it’s pretty awesome when the kids want to include me – especially those kids who don’t usually warm up to adults so easily.

And, the kids are more fun anyway.

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I like going to art exhibits and museums and supporting the artists that I’m lucky enough to know. Sometimes, I take a more direct approach with my favorite artist. I’ve been an art model, a getaway driver, tech support, and constructive critic. And now, a supplier.

Jim is taking a painting class and on his first day he texted me from the studio. Seems as though he’d missed the email that told him he needed painting supplies for that first class. I was playing a video game and asked if he needed me to bring him some supplies. He told me “maybe” and that he’d text me. Figuring that would turn into a “yes” I got a head start and headed over to his house to get whatever watercolor paint, brushes, and paper that he had. I was in route to the school when I got the go-ahead and met my very relieved painter at the door to his class room.

When he got his first assignment done, he told me that for his next one he had to paint 2 inverted pears. Figuring it might be difficult to find such an oddly specific image to paint from, I stopped at the grocery store and bought him some real pears. When I surprised him at his house, he gave me an odd look – I was apparently pretty excited about the pears. Which… it turned out he didn’t need – all the students in the class were supposed to work from the same image.

Still, pears.

It’ll be interesting to see where his next project takes him – and I’m happy enough to just carry stuff around if needed. 🙂

— Edit: Jim does get to paint the real pears after all.  Yea, pears!

I was at Chipotle last week and of the large group of kids at one of the tables, I recognized two of them. Not because had met them, but because their dad – my fraternity brother and former room-mate – posts copious pictures of them on facebook. I didn’t see him but I did spot his wife, whom I knew from college.

Now, I’m kinda terrible at keeping friendships going over time. It manifests itself as a variant of social anxiety and I would generally prefer to just “duck and cover” to avoid potentially awkward situations.

But, recognizing that I need to work on this, I stopped by her table on my way out. I said her name, then – where there wasn’t a spark of recognition – introduced myself and where I knew her from. She remarked that it had been a long time and I offered that I had aged (giving her an out on not recognizing me) – and suggested that she hadn’t in the 20+ years. Which was true – she looked just as I remembered her from college. She was flattered and thanked me. We talked for a moment and she promised to tell her husband that she saw me – and then I was on my way.

So, not only did she not recognize me – she also didn’t remember me at all – clearly.

Which struck me as odd. I recognized and remembered her easily enough and I still keep in touch with her husband on Facebook. It “felt” like we still had a connection, but it was an online illusion. I may have been current on her family based on some posts on facebook – and her husband could have been current with me – but it wasn’t quite enough.

Still, I’m glad I said hello and hope I didn’t creep her out too much.

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The other night I woke up at 2:53 am. I glanced over at the clock to see if it was time to get up and then took a quick inventory. I had a vague sense that I needed to use the bathroom, but not urgent. There was also a slight bit of heartburn, but nothing to write home about. The cat wasn’t anywhere nearby and my dreams had been about as boring as they get for me.

[I had tried to return a library book at a bank and it didn’t work. That was pretty much it.]

I lay there in bed a moment, sort of marveling at how deeply still and quiet it was. And since I’m never up at 2:53 am, I considered getting up and exploring the hour – maybe even going for a walk.

But, I had work the next day so I instead just went to the bathroom and then got some tums. Back in bed and I was asleep in a few minutes.

I don’t know what woke me and whatever it was wasn’t enough to keep me awake, but I would have liked to puzzle it out and maybe see the world again at the early morning hour.  Instead, the mystery remained unsolved and sleep took over.  I was fine the next day at work, but I kinda wish I had followed my impulse.

I was home sick a few days ago and got a call from my Mom. She said that Dad had been on the phone with someone from Microsoft and was being told that if they didn’t purchase a security update to their out-of-date computer, their internet would be turned off. Dad was suspicious that the guy wouldn’t give a call back number but had been able to provide a security code. And Dad gave him access to the computer where the guy pointed out the locations of malware on the machine.

Parts of it seemed on the up and up, but the threats and the insistence on a checking account number raised a flag with my folks and that’s when they called me.

It didn’t sound right to me either so I relayed my concerns to Mom – who passed them along to Dad. I said they should get the guy to disconnect – or they should pull their own internet connection. He did and Dad ended the call with the account numbers safely unrevealed.

Getting the right cell phone number matched up with the right computer was pretty impressive and I suspect their computer may have already been compromised. Mom handed the phone to Dad and I gave him some suggestions on what to do next – unplug the internet for a bit, get some real security software, or consider a new computer. And skip the online banking for a while. Just in case.

I’m glad I was able to help, but really angry at the guy pretending to be from Microsoft. This ass-hat was trying to scam my folks.

What is wrong with us as a species that we prey on each other? I mean, like, all the time? This was a pretty elaborate setup and required a lot of work and planning – and at no point did this guy (or group, I suppose) think, “Wow, this is a really shitty thing to be doing to people. Maybe we should, I dunno, maybe go play video games instead or learn how to knit and make mittens for orphans.”

Sigh.

My Dad called the real Microsoft and verified that yeah, it was a scam. He got some real security software and they are looking for a new computer – I gave some suggestions there as well.

Things seem to be okay for the moment on the cyber-security front and I may be helping them with transferring some files the next time I visit. Good to have a geek on staff.

It doesn’t quite seem real yet and part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop, but – pending approval by the board – I got promoted.

It started back in June with a 13-page position audit request form. It was a terrible document – perhaps the worst I’ve seen on campus in my 19 years there. At one point, while trying to complete this, it occurred to me that I could just quit my job right then and I wouldn’t have to continue it.

It was that bad.  Really bad.  Like soul-crushing. Maybe even intended to be so bad that people don’t complete it.

Instead, I got it done and we got it revised and edited – then signed by everyone in the multiverse and submitted to HR. And then we waited several weeks.

HR wanted to meet with me and go over the document that – based on the questions I was asked – they didn’t really look at carefully. That meeting seemed to go okay and then it was more waiting. Like, months.

Finally, my boss got word that the new position had been approved. Again, everyone had to sign off on it and it was a bit before he made the announcement to the rest of the team. Who were all, fortunately, pretty cool with it. Eventually, I got an email from HR with the details – which raised more questions that I’ll need to figure out on my own ’cause I’m pretty sure my reply email is being ignored.

A new nameplate has been ordered for my door and the online directory has been updated. Not sure what I’ll do about business cards – I use so few of those it hardly seems worth updating.

It took a long time and I kinda figured it wouldn’t happen, but – again, pending board approval (hopefully in February) – I’m now the Assistant Director for Web Services at the University of Akron.

Go me.

My birthday was this past weekend (44) and my parents, my sister, and her family came up for a visit. I usually try to plan something for us to do – paint your own pottery and bowling have been fun in the past – but I thought about a movie this time. The tricky part is finding something the adults will enjoy that won’t be too much for my young nieces.

So, I picked Trolls – which was still just barely in the theater. I figured the fun music and bright colors would be good for the nieces and I hoped the humor would be on a couple of levels so the adults would enjoy it too. Not sure if my Dad and brother-in-law liked it – and my youngest niece was a little worried about the Bergrens and the trolls getting eaten. But, the trolls saved the day and everyone was fine.

We went out to eat, hit a craft store, and had birthday doughnuts. And Thundercat was pretty entertaining as well – with no bloodshed!

So, a good visit and a happy birthday.

I had the week off between Christmas and New Year’s and though I had grand and lofty ideas on how I would spend my time productively, I spent much of it reading books and playing games. I guess that depends a little on your definition of productive to determine how successful I was.

I got to visit my family beforehand and enjoyed the time with my nieces. I also got to play video games with the Very Excitable Little Dude and took Louise (briefly back from New York) out for dinner. I saw Jim’s family for Christmas eve and had dinner at a classic Barberton Chicken place with friends. It’s a thing in Northeast Ohio to do.

But, mostly, it was quiet. Quiet days with a purring cat and a stack of books. Sometimes a little music – the bird and bee is a current favorite

– but sometimes just silence broken by turning pages.

It’s tough to get that real silence anymore. Something is always beeping to notify of us of something else that happened that we couldn’t live without knowing.

But of course we can.

It was a struggle to go back to work yesterday and of course there were catastrophes and cranky people. And lots of noise. And when I got home, I left the music off and lights low. And enjoyed the quiet with a book.

Funny how our society places such value on having things when sometimes the best thing is the absence of everything else.

So, time to log off and go find that book again.  And a purring cat to keep me company.

It’s cold tonight and I sit with a warm cup of tea and my computer. Feeling a little melancholy, but maybe a little hopeful.

One of Jim’s colleagues lost their partner suddenly to a heart attack. She found him on the couch one morning after he had died in the night. She was shaken and grieving – and wasn’t get support from his family or her own.

I had given one of the monster wreathes to Jim and he had it hanging in his office at work – he thought it was silly, but fun. She told him that she would come down to his office just to see it since it made her smile. And it sounded like not much was doing that.

Hearing this, I bought some paper and googly eyes and made her a monster of her own.

I had Jim take it in and sent a card along expressing my condolences.

She replied with a happy email thanking me and sharing that she had this hanging on her office wall and smiled every time she looked at it. And that her partner had done origami and tried to make 1000 cranes for his niece. The legend tells that a gift like this is a wish for a long and happy life to the recipient – but he didn’t get to finish them.

I’ve never met her and in the course of things may not ever. I didn’t know her partner or anything about him.

But, there was a connection. And a chance to lessen someone’s grief, even if only in a small way and for a little while.

—
I found out that one of my former colleagues passed away suddenly over the holidays. She was one of the nicest and sunniest people I’ve ever met and I was sorry to see her leave the university – and sorrier still to hear about her passing.

I also found out that my uncle’s passing was somehow worse that we had first thought. It was dark and…well, unthinkable.

And death has been in the news with many celebrities passing suddenly and the ever present tragedy of lives cut short through violence.

And nothing we can do about so many of these.
But, with a little bit of paper and some good intentions, I helped at least one person get through a difficult time.

It’s not much, but it’s enough.

I’ve written before about the idea that we might be living in a computer simulation, but the time off work and the weird books I’ve been reading had gotten me thinking about it again.

I’ve been wondering about dreams.

I had a dream the other night that a toilet suddenly overflowed with snakes. Most were harmless, but I managed to pin a king cobra – fangs first – into a mattress. It occurred to me that we could use some time travel to prevent this, but it went wrong and in the new reality the cobra bit me in my arm. I killed the snake with a hammer and then wrapped up the bite. Later, I was at a party in an apartment complex that reminded me of the Destiny’s Child “Say My Name” video. I found a room where the conversation had faltered and told the people there about the bite. It occurred to me that I should check the wound so I unwrapped it and checked it out.  The bite had caused a massive infection and the tissues were necrotic and sloughing off.  If there was a smell, it would have been terrible, I’m sure.  I cleared the dishes out of the sink and stuck my arm under the water to at least wash it off.

And then I woke up – and checked my arm.  (I’m fine, by that way.)

So – how would dreams fit into a simulated reality?  If there’s a player playing the decidedly boring “Game of Anthony” – would they perceive my dreams?  Is it like some strange YouTube video?  A pop-up ad?  I can’t figure…  unless the simulation is powerful enough that a simulated computer (i.e. my brain) can in turn run it’s own simulation?

It’s possible now to build a working computer inside the Minecraft game using only the built-in tools, so the idea is somewhat plausible.

So, if we don’t really exist and are just part of a massive computer simulation – which would explain 2016 pretty handedly – what does our future hold?  On the one hand, I feel like maybe I should try to be a little more interesting for my player – and if they don’t exist, then at least a little more interesting for me.  On the other, maybe I’m just in some idle game – earning coins by repeating the same tasks over and over…

Shit.  That’s exactly what I’m doing.  I’m in an idle/tap game on some trans-dimensional entity’s smart phone.

I’m going to go log off now.