Author: anthony Page 28 of 74

Left work a little early to go donate blood yesterday. I did the RapidPass beforehand – which was their term for the medical history portion, not some device that I could strap to myself that would drain out my blood as I walked through an arch in the library.

Though… no, that’s a terrible idea.

So, I was ahead of the game when I got there and breezed right on through the health screening with no delay. Then – no waiting – right on over to the table for the donation.

Needle stick, squeeze every 5-7 seconds, and I was on my way.

And then I was done. I mean, it seemed to go really fast – much more so than usual. I commented to the technician and she said I finished up the donation in 6 minutes and 30 seconds.

The average time, I found out later, is around 8-10 minutes.

So, wow.

I felt fine, got my cookie and juice, and was on the road. I think that might have been the most efficient blood donation I’ve ever done.

Given that the human body has about 1.5 gallons of blood and this is around 12 pints, at that rate I could have auto-exsanguinated myself in 78 minutes. Provided, of course, that I didn’t die first.

Cool, and also creepy.

Today, I:

Tied my tie without looking – perfectly – on the first try. (+1 to Armor class)

Led a meeting with the president of the University of Akron and a committee of 18 of my peers.  (+2 to Charisma)

Helped a graduate student set up a survey for “Perceived Spiritual Competence” (+2 to Wisdom)

Harvested and canned some grapes from my backyard (+2 Dexterity, +4 to Crafting)

Read a Stephen King book. (-1 to Constitution)

My nieces – ages four and six – will occasionally call me Grandpa and my dad Uncle.

It’s not a big deal and sometimes we correct them – though we usually just let it go.

It seemed odd to me that they would make the mistake, until I got my haircut today.

Since my bald spot became a thing and the rest of my hair started to thin out, I usually have what’s left of my hair cut almost to the scalp. Throw in randomly changing white facial hair and an odd sense of humor – and, well, I guess I can see how that would be confusing.

Dad is stronger than I am and more of any outdoorsy person. He’s into history and I’m into Sci-fi. I’m weirder than he is – but not by much. I’m computers, and barefoot, and crafts. He’s sports and yardwork. He’s a runner and I’m a swimmer.  We both really appreciate a good hat.

But, to a little kid those distinctions are pretty subtle. My dad is a pretty good guy and while I might have bristled at the suggestion that we’re a lot alike a few years ago, I think I have a better appreciation for him. There’s still a lot we don’t agree on – but I’m okay with my nieces occasionally mixing us up.

I’m on a committee at work – in charge of it, in fact. Didn’t intend to be – I was perfectly fine with being the vice-chair. Which, roughly translated, means a nice title and no actual work. Other than running the yearly election and I was doing most of that anyway.  Anything to avoid taking minutes.  Ugh.

But then the chair suddenly resigned and I took over as Acting Chair – or so I tried to convince people.

And when the elections came back around for officers, I couldn’t manage to step all the way down and ended up as co-chair.

Ended up being kind of okay with that, somehow. I think I’m doing an okay job with running the meetings and keeping things on track – but still looking forward to gracefully setting the role aside.

And even more so now.

One of the sub-committees has gone off the rails on a project and is trying to push it forward – without getting the rest of the committee to agree to it. There were some ugly emails and an even uglier meeting – over what should have been a really positive project.

Heavy hangs the head, as they say, that wears the crown.

Most annoyingly is that we could just… stop, and very little would change. We’ve got little authority and even less influence. We do some good work, but it’s pretty small in the grand scheme of things.

On Thursday, we’ve got a meeting with the new president and somehow, we’ve got to have a united voice.

I think I have my work cut out for me.

I haven’t had a library card for a little while and when I mentioned this to Jim he was kind of astonished. I countered that I had a library in my house and he said that only emphasized it.

This conversation came about because I decided to get a card at the local library – which in turn came about from killing time at a library recently and reading a book that I might have liked to take with me and continue.

I think that was a run-on sentence, but you get the idea – I hope.

So, after work and a haircut, I headed to the local library to get a card and some books.

I went up to the front desk and got started with the process. There was a little form to fill out while they entered my information from my driver’s license. The form said (over) at the bottom and I turned it over and read it and signed.  I always look for “your immortal soul” – just in case.

I turned the form to the front and passed it back.  The clerk looked it over – then flipped it over and raised an eyebrow.

“You signed the back. No one ever knows to do that,”

I shrugged and made some comment about reading directions. This is also why I never have problems at the BMV.

I have my shit together.

Anyway, they gave me the provisional card good for 2 weeks and only letting me check out 5 items at a time. If everything is good at the end of the two weeks, then I can upgrade to a regular card.  I guess I looked shifty.

Card in hand, I got directions to Fiction and headed over.

And while I perused the books, I realized how – in some ways – I’m really old fashioned.

For me, a library (or even a bookstore), should be a place of quiet respect. In those pages on the shelves are countless stories and worlds without end. Adventures and epic sagas. The ancient past and the far distant future.

How could anyone be in a place with all that wonder – and be noisy?

And it was noisy. Loud conversations, music, and kids running around through the whole building. You expect that in the kids section – even appreciate that – but in Fiction?

I got my books and returned to the front desk to check out. Then home for some dinner and reading. I’ll be back – likely many times – but it doesn’t quite feel like a library to me.

Maybe I am old fashioned. Or maybe a book snob. But those books – all those wonderful books… Well, I’m quieted by them, even if that’s just me.

When I am asked to give my name at a restaurant – either to get a table or to later claim my food – I usually give my middle name:

Wade

It’s not exactly a common name – more so as a last name – but it’s also not that uncommon. Short, easy to type and say – and since I used to go by Wade when I was younger, hearing someone say it gets my attention.

And it maybe throws off some data points if someone is tracking me. Just saying.

Unfortunately, as simple as the name is, people still somehow mess it up. This usually shows on the receipt – sometimes, I’m:

WAYDE

What? Is that really a name? Looks like it should be pronounced
Waaaaaade.

Even when they ask me to spell it, that can go awry too. Today, at Wendy’s, I was W-A-D-E:

WADD

Yeah, not one of my finer moments.

I guess it’s not really a big deal – not like they got this wrong on my diploma or birth certificate – but… still…

We are not our names. We are something else that wears a name like a jacket or a pair of shoes.

And for a little while today, I was wearing WADD.

The burger tasted the same no matter how my name was spelled and I guess that’s what counts. The fries were good too.

And then it was back to work and back to Anthony.  Can’t imagine how badly that one could get mangled.  All those letters…

Last November, I decided that our office needed some decoration.  We’ve got an outer lobby area near the elevator before entering our suite and it seemed like a good spot for a little color.  I’d made origami wreaths in the past of various sizes, but this time I was going for quantity.

I made a simple one for December and then started on a project of a new themed wreath for each month.

January (snow), February (hearts), and March (clover) were easy as far as a theme goes and I got a little more creative with ducks and bunnies for April. May was flowers, June was sunshine.

July (star spangled) was easy and for August I went with a beach. Then changing leaves in September and a pumpkin with leaves for October.

I managed a turkey for November and then back around to strangely plain December (pine). I had gotten more sophisticated as the year went on so as I loop back around, December will be simple.

I also did a Christmas wreath that I’m going to donate and a Blue and Gold for the VP’s office.

Figured that it was time to post them since I was done with the project – even though the year isn’t up.

Next up, maybe a spiral…

The full set is here:

http://thunderofwade.tumblr.com/

Last week, I sat through a webinar on some changes to our e-commerce system.  I had a chat window open with my boss and shared my comments and observations.  Here is the transcript of that session:

---

[‎9/‎1/‎2016 1:21 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:

watching a ******* recorded webinar.  I’m hoping they really have some good news about the emarket, but I think it’s at the end of the video.  Currently, I’m losing the will to live.

Everything is darkness.

[‎9/‎1/‎2016 1:23 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:

Sorrow hangs over me like a cloud, weeping tears of abject despair.

If bleakness was a tree, my heart would be covered by a forest.

[‎9/‎1/‎2016 1:25 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:

I may never wake from this endless nightmare.

[‎9/‎1/‎2016 1:29 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:

Has time stopped?  Do the sands no longer flow?

[‎9/‎1/‎2016 1:30 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:

Even my blood slows in my veins. My heart strains to beat against the sluggish bracken.

[‎9/‎1/‎2016 1:33 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:

But, wait, is there hope?  Is there actual relevant information? Could this be what I have waited for all these years?  Is this.. is this the light?

[‎9/‎1/‎2016 1:38 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:

But they tease!  They tease me with cosmetic changes!  Strumpets!  Where is the substance?

[‎9/‎1/‎2016 1:42 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:

Names. Names.  A legion of new names.  Still, they stink of the pit.

[‎9/‎1/‎2016 1:50 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:

Ah, mighty AJAX.  He strides onto the field like a warrior.  Oh, but wait, it’s but a mask.  His face revealed – a tired and cowardly pretender.

[‎9/‎1/‎2016 1:52 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:

A plague upon thy house.  Tis smoke and mirrors!  Where are the templates?  Where is the CSS?  Dost thou care nothing for internet standards?  Vile wenches…

[‎9/‎1/‎2016 1:57 PM] Kreider,Eric W:

I see you holding one of the brains from your jar out and speaking to it a la Hamlet

[‎9/‎1/‎2016 2:00 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:

Hamlet got off easy. This, this is madness.  Ophelia was a light-hearted nymph compared to this travesty.

[‎9/‎1/‎2016 2:01 PM] Kreider,Eric W:

lol Strumpets! In the court!

[‎9/‎1/‎2016 2:01 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:

I Fall!  I fall upon my stake!  Tis my only escape.

[‎9/‎1/‎2016 2:02 PM] Kreider,Eric W:

Another unrecoverable hour goes by…

[‎9/‎1/‎2016 2:04 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:

Would that lightning strike my screen and end this now.  The seconds of misery creep… ah, but soft!  Tis ended!  My heart leaps at freedom!

[‎9/‎1/‎2016 2:05 PM] Kreider,Eric W:

*shaking head smiling but still, sad*

[‎9/‎1/‎2016 2:06 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:

I shall share this with noble Kevin, he who is Rushing.  Mayhap his wisdom will enlighten.

---

Clearly, I need to read more Shakespeare and incorporate that style into my everyday conversations.  It’ll make the meetings more interesting, anyway.

I’m a big fan of snacks.

I think they are great and they play a large part in regulating my mood. If we’re meeting friends for dinner and there’s a chance it will be later than is good for me – and by extension anyone else – Jim will make sure I have a pop-tart or two handy. When I get hangry, well, scorned women stay out of my way and my “hell-hath-no” brand of fury.

So, vending machines are a pretty good thing in my book.

Yes, I know that everything in there is over-priced.And yes, I know that everything in there is terrible for me.

I know that – and guess what? I don’t care. There’s a lot of instant gratification in a vending machine. Money in – salty/sweet satisfaction out.

And if it keeps me from a tri-state killing spree – well, then we should all be grateful.  Sometimes its not even the biochemical make of the drink or treat – sometimes it’s just about getting something small accomplished.  “I would like a beverage and so I go and acquire one”

I noticed something, though, that has made me sad about my friend Mr. Soda Vending.

Back in the day, you could walk past a vending machine and at a glance see if they had the soda you wanted. If you wanted Orange and the Sold Out light was on for the Orange, you had the option of getting Grape instead or to just keep on walking.

Now, though, those soda machines hide their status. You put your money in and hit a button – and only then do you discover your fate. Do you get your beverage of choice – or do you get a Sold Out message? Your money is already in the machine so you can either pick something else or hit the return button and wait while the machine angrily counts out what you hope is the correct change.

It sounds angry, at least.

Then you’ve got to try and fish the quarters back out of the little slot and take your business elsewhere. And if there’s someone waiting, you can also die of embarrassment while you inappropriately grope a robot.

When I first realized this, it pissed me off. Not the robot groping – I figure that’s inevitable when the Robot Uprising (tm) comes along.

No, I was angry about being socially engineered.

There’s a feeling of commitment. The money has already gone in and you expect something in return. And the coin return route feels like failure.

So, you pick something else until you finally get something that you didn’t even really want because now it feels like obligation. You have to succeed at some level – and so they get a sale even if they are out of the product.

I’ve had this happen at stores – I’m looking at you, Radio Shack. Windows full of products and shelves mysteriously empty. We settle for the thing we didn’t really want just to have some measure of success. So it doesn’t feel like a complete waste of time.

I’m ranging farther afield now with my pocket full of quarters. Searching for that toxic diet soda that will somehow keep me distracted enough to get through the day. And not settling for grape when I really want orange.

It takes a lot of paying attention to see where that social engineering lives. And effort to fight back against the faceless invokers of that engineering.

But, there’s some satisfaction in that as well.  Little goals, little successes.

The webteam is still relatively new to our new home division – Marketing.

It’s a good fit and we’re better off than we were in IT – but it has taken some getting used to.

During our first big meeting – when shown the new commercial – about the only thing I knew when asked “how does this make you feel?” was to not respond with “Queasy, from all the jump cuts.”

Since then, we’ve gotten much better integrated with the larger marketing group – but I was still a little apprehensive when the VP suggested an evening out at a bar/restaurant called The Office. As in “I’ll be home late from The Office”  Wink, wink.  Nudge, nudge.

I don’t drink and I’m kinda cheap – and at the end of the day spending more time with my colleagues seems… errr… well, I do have all those video games that need playing, after all.

But, an informal poll at a meeting of the webteam showed that everyone else was going and – like an ABC AfterSchool Special – I succumb to peer pressure.

And… it was good. No, it was kinda great. I got to know a couple of my colleagues a little better, got to show off some origami, and even made a marketing related joke. Who knew?

I’m still more comfortable with the ones and zeros. Where things either work or they don’t. Even when things don’t make sense, you know that everything still has a reason – even if we don’t know it or can never find it.

The marketing side of the house still feels a little like voodoo to me – but it’s creative voodoo and well-written voodoo and I can appreciate that.
And the crew there is pretty cool.

Added bonus – the VP picked up the check. 🙂

I didn’t stay late at The Office – Firestone Park has a vampire problem and I try to avoid getting home after dark if possible – but I had a good time and I think I got some new perspective.