Thunder of Wade

I stopped by the pharmacy today to pick up a prescription for my room-mate – the one that they couldn’t fill earlier.   I was okay with doing that since I had decided to get a flu shot for myself anyway.

Turns out that my insurance doesn’t cover flu shots at a pharmacy.  I’m guessing they expected me to go to my doctor – but it didn’t specifically exclude other locations.   Maybe I could have found a back-alley flu shot for cheaper, but the pharmacy price wasn’t too bad and I saved the trip to the doctor.

The guy that gave me the shot was personable and professional – except that he didn’t wear gloves.  In this case, the precaution should have been on his end.  I was pretty unlikely to pick up anything from him (he was careful with the needle), but if I started spurting blood everywhere, well, that was his problem.   And I guess mine too since it wouldn’t be normal for that to happen – but him wearing gloves wouldn’t help that.

They recommended that I sit there for 20 minutes – I waited about 30 seconds before heading out.   Since I was just going across the parking lot to the IGA, I figured I could make my way back if something went wrong.

So, bring on flu season – I’m ready.

So my room-mate – who is out of a job for almost a year, has massive medical bills coming, and has been relying heavily on me while I watch my spending to prepare for the next disaster – bought a TV yesterday.

He wasn’t even supposed to be out of the house since he spent the last two weeks in the hospital.  But our neighbor was running some errands and invited him along.   And the TV was on sale.

So, that makes it okay somehow.   And we now have 5 TV’s in the apartment.

I’m so tired of being the safety net for bad decisions.  And I’m tired of being angry all the time.

Just this morning, I was clearing out the spam comments on my blog and felt a surge of anger when one of the spammers commented on the spelling errors in my posts.

Now, they don’t really know if I’ve spelled things wrong in any post.  They don’t know me or know anything about my blog and what I write.  But for just a moment, I wanted to track them down and smack them with a dictionary.    Which actually works on a couple levels since most spam is rife with misspellings anyway.

A few weeks ago, my room-mate had suggested that I be the one to move out.   A foolish idea on his part, but last night I told him that I was going to start looking for a place.

Part of me hates leaving him to the fate he made for himself.   And part of me is desperate to get out of that increasingly emotionally toxic environment.   Right in the middle of that – and I’m sick to my stomach.

Well, at least the Halloween costume is coming along well.

I rarely mosey.   Not sure I even know how to saunter.   I like to move from one thing to the next at a fairly good pace.   I even go to sleep quickly.

But yesterday, it was all about the slowdowns.  At every turn – someone was in my way.

I headed north at 12:15 to pick up my room-mate from the hospital – he was supposed to be released between 1:00 and 1:30.     And we didn’t get out of there until 3:30.

The rain slowed down the traffic, as did a car accident that everyone – except me – seemed really interested in.

Get home, then back out again to the drugstore.  I drop off the 4 prescriptions and tell the clerk that he would like the liquid form of one of them since he had trouble with the giant pills.  She tells me that she’ll have to call the doctor’s office and it will take 30 minutes.   I say I’ll wait and start wandering around the store – right past the sign that says “Prescriptions in 15 minutes guranteed”

[The fine print says that only applies to 3 or less at a time  – or if they can come up with any other reason to delay things]

After having memorized the contents of the entire store – but before I started re-organizing the shelves to fix the more obvious problems – I get called back up.  [For those playing along at home, this is at the 45 minute mark – I timed it.]  They couldn’t reach the doctor and have given up on that for the day.  They ask if I want to get the rest and I agree – with the plan to return tomorrow.

Next, over to the grocery store.  The IGA is right out of the 70’s and apparently back then it made perfect sense to put some of the bread at the bakery and the rest on the other side of the store in the dairy section.    I wouldn’t have found it if Popsicles weren’t also on my list.

Up to the register and there is no one to bag the groceries.  By this point, I’m so cranky I’m about to vibrate into another dimesnion – so I move down and start bagging my groceries to keep things moving.   The guy behind me moves up so that when the total is given to me, he’s blocking the debit card reader.  He starts to back up, but the woman behind him – who is oblivious – has already started to put her items on the conveyor.    He’s got nowhere to go.

I do a circus style lean back and twist over his cart to reach the device while he mutters an apology – then I look at him just before I put in my PIN.  He’s looking right at the keypad.  I gruffly ask him to look away and he gets flustered and makes a big deal out of looking to the back of the store.  Whatever.    Not that I think this guy is up to the challenge of identity theft, but hello?  Don’t look at my PIN number.  Jerk.

So, PIN entered, groceries bagged, and I’m out the door.

As I start up my room-mates car (he wanted me to pick him up in his car since mine is too difficult to get in and out of – or it’s not shiny enough or something) – the low fuel light goes on.

In my head I play out a scenario where he tries to drive someplace and thinks he can make it to a particular gas station and fails – then being stranded on the side of road.    And then him calling me.

With an admittedly over-dramatic sigh, I drive to the gas station, put in ten bucks, then take the long way home since it’s impossible to turn left out of there.

Car parked, groceries unloaded, pizza in the microwave.   1 minute later, I’m listening to Britteny Spears on the headphones and reading a book.  [gotta balance out the high and low culture.]

And then, wouldn’t you know it, I had trouble getting to sleep that night.

The good news is that my room-mate is doing much better.  The catheter has been removed – along with the tubes in his neck for dialysis.   They are talking about releasing him from the hospital as soon as today.   So, he’s moving around and feeling much better.

The bad news is that  – based on the biopsy – he has advanced cirrous of the liver.   Not because of drinking – according to the doctor – but based on a previously undiagnosed predisposition to liver diesease.    My room-mate indicated that his family has a history of liver problems in support of this diagnosis.  Since he’s got a history of drinking problems as does his family – I find myself a little skeptical.   Perhaps the doctor doesn’t want to kick a man when he’s down, though I would argue that that’s the easiest time to do it.

They don’t know yet if he will need a transplant after all – perhaps just stopping drinking will be enough to by him time for his liver to heal.  I’ve done my part, I poured out all the alcohol in the apartment. It will be a good week for the recycling bin

The disappointing news is his siblings.   Instead of visiting him this weekend  – since none would have the “work” excuse – they are instead going to a football game.  The argument being that they’ve already spent $700 dollars on the hotel room and tickets.

Now, I’m of the opinion that you don’t spend $700 on hotel rooms and football tickets unless you have $700 to throw away.    And having a sibling in the hospital seems like a good reason to me to throw that $700 in the shreder.

So, they are going to a football game and I’m on stand-by to pick him up from the hospital.   I’m not sure will happen if he isn’t released until Monday – guess I’ll have to take some time off of work to go get him.

I like to help people, I really do.    And I’m glad I was able to help my room-mate.   But now I’m just feeling a bit used.   His family realizes that I’ll step up because that’s what I do.    And I’m getting bitter and feeling trapped.

So, today I’m going to be close to home so I can head north when I’m needed.  Suppose it’s just as well, I’m way behind on my Halloween costume.  Better log off and get to work.

First, the news of the weird.    I got a call recently from a colleague asking if I would be interested in helping start a union on campus for staff.   I politely told him no.  Seems like a strange thing to do – money out of my paycheck for the idea that someone else would act as my liaison – whether I want them to or not – with no certainty that they can improve things that aren’t really broken and the chance to actually break things that are fine.

In other news… I was planning on going up to see my room-mate again – and meeting a couple of our mutual friends there as well.  While I was on the road, his sister called and said he was being transferred to a step-down facility  – which is good.   But she didn’t know his status, the plan for his treatment, h0w he was doing, exactly where he was going  – or when he was going.  I asked her to call back and find that out.

I ran some errands, got some food, and cooled my heels for a bit at home for about 45 minutes – then I called her for an update.  She still didn’t know where he was or when they were transferring him.  Told me she’d call again.  So, I patiently waited for another half hour before she called again.

This time, she started the conversation asking where he was.  I replied that that was what she was going to find out.  She then complained how tough it is for her to keep track of everything when she’s not there.  I refrained from reminding her that she was here and left and that she could come back at any time since she isn’t working.  Instead, I told her how important it is for the hospital to have one point of contact and for that person to then share information with everyone else.  She snippily told me that she knew that and said she would call the hospital again.

In the meantime, their other brother called and set me straight.  My room-mate is not being transferred, though it has been discussed.  He’s still at the Cleveland Clinic and doing as well as can be expected.   I just talked to my room-mate and he advised me to not listen to his sister anymore.   Which I had already figured out.

So, video games and an early night for me, I think.

I went and saw my room-mate again after work today.  He was sitting up and alert, able to use the bathroom on his own and even able to walk down the hall.  We sat and talked for a bit – he was still waiting on the biopsy that they were supposed to do that morning.  A nurse finally came in late that evening before I left and said that they were backed up and it might be as late as midnight or postponed to early tomorrow.  His brother said he would stay for a while longer, but I headed on home.

I had a really nice conversation with my sister on the drive home – seems like things are going well for her, but busy.  It was good to get a little normality.

I’m doing okay, but run down.  Late nights and early mornings do not mix well for me.  I need to take a shower and get to bed, but I’m a little wired.   Maybe the shower will help settle me down a bit. Lots to do tomorrow, I’d better get to it.

I went to the hospital again yesterday.  My room-mate was more alert most of the time, but he was also more scared about what was going on.  His brother came up and was with him for a few hours – and helped feed him and make him comfortable.  I gave them a little privacy and took a short break.  As an aside, the cookies in the health food shop in the hospital are pricey and not very good.

I stayed for a few hours and tried to keep my room-mate company.  Not much more that can be done until they do the biopsy tomorrow.  I left around 6:30 and his brother stayed a few hours more.  He was going to be staying at my apartment – but got lost in cleveland.   He called me from his cell phone for directions – and given how little I know about that city, it might have been more helpful to give him directions by way of the moon.

“Okay, you see that big crater?  That’s the Sea of Tranquility.  Turn left there and keep an eye out for the flag, that’s your exit”

We managed to get him on the road and I stayed up make sure he got in and got settled.  He’s going back to the hospital today and will let me know how things go with the biopsy. They keep going things to deal with the increasingly serious symptoms, but still haven’t gone after the man problems.

So, I’m back to work and wishing I had gotten more sleep.

Apparently, my room-mate did more than try to escape on Friday.  His mental state was so off that he tried to attack his sister and it took multiple security guards to get him settled.  The put him in restraints and had to sedate him.  I didn’t go and see him on Friday since he wasn’t awake, but I went up yesterday and spent much of the day with him.  He was better for much of the time – and I credit the assistant that was in the room with him.  He was on some medicine to flush the toxins out of his body, but it caused some accidents.  He was embarassed and scared, but the staff was really great with him.

I was joking around with him and the assistant when, in the span of about 10-15 minutes, he crashed.  Couldn’t breath, paniced, incoherent.   The doctor came in and checked him out and decided that his hemoglobin was too low and he needed a transfusion.

So, they got him started on that and we got him settled and calmed down.   The transfusion was helping, so I headed out.    The word is that they will be doing a liver biopsy tomorrow and then going from there.

As I was driving home, one of sisters called me.  She was upset and I think she’d been drinking.  She and my room-mate’s brother keep wanting me to make the decisions about when they visit and I keep not doing that.  Frustrating.

There were a couple of  bright spots to the day, even with the sudden chill to the air.

1. The hospital caffeteria only serves diet drinks  – since they are more “healthy”.  Not sure how that meshes with the nuggets and fries I got at the mcdonald’s there or the bacon I got on my sub later on.

2. As I drove home last night, the last of the light was just leaving the sky.  I remember thinking, “I need to hurry, the creepers (from Minecraft) will be out soon.

3.  Whoever recorded the woman’s voice for the elevator really enjoyed her job.    When the elevator reached the ground floor she says,  “Main Lobby” – well, it might as well be Marilyn Monroe and Mae West enjoying a bottle of Herbal Essences shampoo when she say “Lobby”.    Or maybe I’m just really tired.

I’m headed back to the hospital in a bit.  Hoping his brother is there and stays most of the day.

Just got a call from my room-mate’s sister.  He tried to escape again and they had to call security to get him back.    Based on the symptoms and what they are seeing with his liver – it’s looking more like a result of drinking and less like random liver disease.   She was going to put him on the phone so I could try and calm him down – but then the doctor’s came in and they had to go.    Kinda tough to focus on work today.

I went up to the Cleveland Clinic last night – it was easy enough to find, but they somehow managed to hide the parking deck from me for a bit.  My room-mate is not doing well – they are now starting to talk about liver failure and transplant or at the very least surgery to remove the damaged parts of the liver.

I talked to one of his sisters yesterday – she and the rest of the siblings are trying to sort out the care he will need after the surgery.   I am concerned that they are thinking they can rely on me to do the lion’s share as the primary caregiver.

They didn’t do dialysis yesterday and he got disoriented by the high levels of ammonia in his system.    At 3 am this morning, he called me and said he got up, didn’t know where he was, and tried to leave the hospital.  They got him settled, but it was pretty scary.

I just talked to his social worker this morning and she confirmed that he’s still disoriented.  I’m hoping we’ll know more this afternoon on how they will be able to proceed with him.

I’m tired and feeling more than a little lost.  Guess I’d better get back to work.