french fry ear buds

On a lighter note…

Let me preface this by saying that I am normally extremely good at rapid task switching.  I can eat dinner, watch TV, and read a book at the same time, follow multiple conversations almost simultaneously, and I doubt many people could keep up as I work in multiple windows on multiple applications with multiple projects.  I’m very fast and generally very accurate.

But not today.

I’m at my desk, eating lunch while I work.  I’ve got a french fry in one hand ready to eat and I decided to listen to some music.  I reached for my earbuds with my other hand and some internal brain wiring got crossed while I was in motion.  Instead of directing the salty goodness of a french fry towards my mouth, it ended up going to the side of my head.

I managed to get control again and stop myself with a half inch to spare from me putting a french fry in my ear.

Half an inch.  That’s all the margin for error I had.   And considering that I can put an ear bud in my ear with some degree of speed, that half inch was cutting it very close.

It took some mental effort to get the fry directed back to my mouth and I’m pretty sure another part of my brain thought it was still an ear bud and why in the world would I put an ear bud in my mouth?   Once my sense of taste fired up and confirmed that I wasn’t eating plastic, I was able to get the ear buds in place.

I didn’t get any music going right away.  Instead, I took a breath and finished my lunch.  No mouse clicking, no iPad, no reading.  Just quietly working my way through my fries.  One thing at a time.

anniversary

It’s kind of a weird time for me now.  I’ve got a lot that is making me sad and a lot making me happy.  And like the weather, the two forces are raging around in me.  Well, not the weather now.  More like tornado season later on.  Right now, the weather is just cold and damp.
About a year ago, my former partner Jeff passed away.  We’d been broken up for a few months and I’d moved out.  We still spoke and I had agreed to take him to the airport for a job interview out of state.  I thought that he was finally moving on.  The neighbors suspected something was wrong and I hadn’t heard from him in a few days either.  He had been ill, but no one knew just how ill.  And then he was gone.
I’ve spent this past year with an ache in my heart.  All the things I could have done differently,  all the things I could have said.  I know that I couldn’t have saved him, but I’ve fairly effectively tortured myself with the idea that I could have made the time he had left less terrible.  I’ve been trying to decide if I should make the trip to his hometown where he is buried.  If I should visit his family.  Would it help?  Or make things so much worse?
A few days before I found out about Jeff, I had a date with someone I’d known – but not well – for a few years.   We went out to Fridays for dinner and  had a nice evening.  And after I found out about Jeff and fell apart, he stood by me and helped me get through some dark times.  I wasn’t sure if we could get past that together, but we did and have been dating ever since.  So, this past weekend we had our one year anniversary.  We went out to dinner at Fridays again and exchanged cards.  We’ve met each others friends and family and have survived a vacation together – the surest sign that things are going well.
So, I’ve moved on.  I adopted a cat, made new friends, and kept clinging to the hope that things would get better.  And they have; time – and good people in my life – have helped me heal.
I learned a lot about myself in my 39th year – and a lot about the people around me.  I saw them at their best and their worst.   I was loved, and had my heart torn asunder.  I found the value in the people around me – and the value they found in me.
And I moved on.
So, this week is the anniversary of someone lost, and someone gained.  Chapters closed and those still being written with new stories.  And things are good.
But tonight, as I sit here alone at my computer in the quiet dark of my house, I’m feeling the loss.  I know tomorrow will be another day with new adventures and new experiences – but they feel distant and disconnected right now.
I think I’ll have a hot cup of tea, a warm shower, and an early bedtime.  And with any luck, I won’t dream tonight.

migrating balloons, taxes, character flaws

So, the mylar balloons I got for my birthday are finally starting to deflate.  Since they aren’t right up against the ceiling now, they are starting to migrate through the house on the air currents.  One ended up in my basement, one in the upstairs office, and a third in my bathroom.  Kinda stately, kinda eerie.    Thunder (cat) tried to climb a curtain to get the ribbon from one of them so I cut off all the ribbons.  I’d like to see how long they last – a couple have already bitten the dust.

I went and got my taxes done last night.  The tax accountant was very friendly and chipper, even as she told me how much I was going to owe.  I was hoping I would be getting a nice chunk back, but I some of the withholdings weren’t set up with quite enough.  So, I paid my fees, collected my paperwork and headed home to a simple meal and a dangerous cat.   To add insult to injury, Thunder attacked me last night – with love – and dug deep into my thigh right through my pants.  I ended bleeding pretty good and it was hard to tell if he felt bad about it.  Let’s just assume he did.

I’ve decided to change a couple of my habits recently.

1. I’m not going to steal food from people anymore when I go out to eat.  It was never about the actual food – more just about being clever and quick.  Unfortunately, I think I’ve gotten a reputation and some folks are now slightly uneasy around me – and I think a few have even changed what they would normally order to pick food that I don’t like.  Takes some of the fun out of it.  Plus, I was getting predictable and I can’t have that.

2. I’ve decided to talk less about my swimming.  I think we can just assume at this point I’m a swimmer and I’m going to keep swimming.  I’ve got some goals for the year, but I’m pretty sure I was getting annoying about it and maybe starting to sound like a braggart.  So, I’m not going to bring it up anymore until I hit 100 miles and again when I hit 200 – if I do.  I’ve made my log available on my blog if anyone is interested and I’ll talk about it anyone asks, but otherwise, just assume I’m still swimming.

It’s been a long ass week and I think its time for scalding shower and bed. One more day left and then it’s the weekend – thankfully.  Between hiring a new student, meetings out the ass, and doing the work of three people, I’m worn out.

Polar Bear Jump – 2013

See  how I put the date in the title?  As though I might do this again.  Ha!

The day of the jump, I dressed in easily-removed layers and donned my red checkered wrist-band (from the check-in the day before).  My friend drove me there and we arrived around noon – anticipating a crowded parking lot.   But the parking was no big deal and we had a couple hours to kill.  We hiked around the park a bit and did some people watching.  We met up with some friends and chatted a bit to pass the time.  The crowd began to gather and as the 2:00 hour approached, the excitement began to build.

At ten til, I took off my coat and shirt.  I said I wanted to be ready when my wristband color was called, but really I was just excited and nervous.  I started jumping around to keep blood going and because they had really good music.

At four til, I took off my pants.  Now all I had was my blue square cut speedo (very tasteful) and my aqua shoes.  A few others made ready as well and some wore costumes.  There was Captain Planet, Superman, two guys in body paint tuxedos  and a group in form-fitting spandex.  There was the Joker and more grass skirts than you could shake a stick at.   And when two women walked by, one said that her friend wanted to smack my butt.   Saucy!  Her friend, of course, was mortified, but I took it as a compliment.

Now all that was left to do was wait until they called my wrist-band.

American Flag – nope.
Blue Checker – nope.
Neon Green checker – nope.
Neon Orange checker – nope.
Purple checker – Are you kidding me?!?

Finally, Red checker.  I handed off my glasses, made sure that my friends had the “Your pants are over here, stupid,” flag that I’d made at the ready so I could find them, and headed for the jumper corral.

I walked the plank – literally – out to the docks extended from the beach.   At end of the dock, I held my breathe and jumped.

The cold water hit and in that burst I realized that I had never ever been anywhere near that cold. It redefined the idea of cold for me and took my breath away.  I surfaced and half swam, half waded my way back to the shore.  I quickly found my friends and started to dry off.  Gathering my clothes, I headed to the heated tent to get changed.  I finished drying off, got dressed quickly, and other than some cold toes I was mostly recovered.

Leaving the tent, I chatted with another of my friends and then we headed back to the car to go meet up with my former co-worker and his family for an early dinner.    After the meal at Chipotle, his wife gave me a quick hug before telling me she was cold and had to get in the car.  I shook my head and told her, “No, you aren’t cold” – earning me a laugh.

A large hot chocolate and a hot bath later and I was back to normal.

Will I do this again next year?  Hmmmm…

[Photos on my main site ]

Curly haired people shouldn’t be allowed to get married

The state of Illinois is in the middle of a debate on gay marriage.   One of my cousins that lives there posted this on his  facebook page:


“Gay marriage is not right (I think) but the issue isn’t important enough to fight about. If they want to get married, let them. I think that before we bother to talk about something so small we should fix all the other problems this country has. Otherwise we may end up with no country left to practice all these new freedoms in. We can’t spend hours and hours fighting about the emotional rights of some people and not spend ten minutes talking about deficit spending.”


One of his friends followed up with these comments:

“its wrong in so many ways it dosnt matter how u look at it i think they should be beat untilo stright”

and then…

“i am smart but gay people shouldnt have the right to marry other gays its all because of the stupid president obama this country was better when bush had control and gays would have never got the right to marry”


While I don’t normally take much stock in Facebook posts and think they aren’t worth the paper they aren’t printed on, this struck a chord with me and I responded with this comment:


“Let’s say, hypothetically, that I believe that curly haired people shouldn’t be allowed to get married.  I don’t really have a basis for this other than my beliefs and the opinions of my family and friends.  And I don’t have any first hand knowledge because I have straight hair.  Ridiculous, right?  Curly haired people were born that way – they didn’t have a choice in the matter.    And I could reply, “Their moms must have used too many home perms on them when they were kids,” or “it’s just a phase, their hair will straighten out,”

And so the curly haired person tries to hide it with relaxers or shaving their heads.  But they are, intrinsically, still curly haired.  It’s who they are.  And maybe enough people share my beliefs that, in most states, those curly haired weirdos can’t get married.  Or adopt kids.  Or hold hands in public.

And then, in a gesture of concession, I say that curly-haired people can get married – even though I still think it’s wrong.  But, really, the issue isn’t important enough to debate.  It only affects a few curly haired people in this country.  A minority.  Why should I care what happens to them – these second class citizens –  when we have all these more important issues?

Now substitute gays and lesbians.  Or women who would like to vote.  Or african americans who would like to be free. Or people with left hands that can’t use scissors like the rest of us “normal” people.  Or people that are overweight.  Or anyone who is “different”.

It could be argued that the federal deficit affects everyone and is thus a more important issue.  I counter that the larger issue is that everyone in this country should have the same rights as everyone else.  That simple idea is one of the things that makes us Americans.

I’m not sure how to end this as I step down off my soap-box except to say that my intention is not to beat up on someone for having an opinion on facebook – but rather to encourage a bit more thought on a topic that I think really affects us all.”


So, there’s my entry into the debate – swiftly lost in the myriad posts about where someone ate dinner and how cute their cat is.  (Mine is cuter, incidentally)

Will it make a difference?  Will it change the way anyone thinks?  I don’t know.  But it was worth trying.

speeding ticket, pesto, printer, gas

On Saturday, I went with my friend to visit my family for my sister’s birthday.  It was going to be a day trip only and I was in a bit of a hurry to get there to make the most of the day.  It was a beautiful day for driving, the music was great, and the conversation was good too.  I was going too fast in my ‘easy to go too fast’ car – and blew right past a well hidden police car.

I started to slow down as soon as I saw him, but it was too late.  And even though there were other cars going just as fast, he pulled me over.  And politely gave me my first speeding ticket.  I’m not going to say how fast I was going or how much the ticket was, but I learned my lesson.  Whether that’s the right lesson or not, it has been learned.  I’m going to slow down – and learn how to use my cruise control.

Got to my folks, hung out with them, then went out to lunch with my sister and her family when they arrived.  We went to Olive Garden and I tried to order spaghetti  meatballs, and pesto.  Except the server didn’t know what pesto was.  I described it (basil, pine nuts – it’s green) and she went back to the kitchen.  She came back a few minutes later with two small containers.  One with a cream sauce that may have had some flakes of basil in it – and another that looked like pesto to me.   I ordered the latter and hoped for the best.

It wasn’t pesto.  Somehow, the person that prepared the sample and the person that prepared the dish were different people.  This pesto had some other “stuff” in it and the dish was swimming in orange grease.  I ate most of it because I was hungry, but learned another lesson.  Order off the menu.

The rest of the visit was fun and we played a rousing game of Farkle while my niece watched Toy Store.   When it was time to go, my friend drove us back to Akron while I sulked.  Just in case.

Today, I got called on to help set up a printer.  The Brother printer was wireless, the computer was a Mac, there were two different networks involved, and there were no manuals.  I ended up deleting the printer and re-establishing it, then putting in the network ID and password.   The printer spent 20 minutes cleaning itself – I guess it doesn’t like to be touched – before connecting and printing out the proper documents.    I was pretty amazed with myself, if I do say so myself and I can because it’s my blog.  I may not be at the top of the geek food chain, but I can push buttons with the best of them.

Finally, the cat.  Thunder and I have been having fun with the laser pointer and the small plastic balls with bells in them – but he’s not a cat that likes to be held yet, unless it’s on his terms.   Earlier today, I picked him up and tried to sit on the couch and pet him.  He struggled a moment, extended the claws and pushed off, and passed some horrific gas as he got clear of me.   I’ll be glad to get back to work tomorrow so that I can stop learning these painful lessons.

blue lantern lego

Some of my friends got me a late birthday present – a custom Blue Lantern Lego figure!

blueLanternLego

I think the appropriate term here is: SQUEEEEE!

And also, AWESOME!

I nearly had a nerd-gasm when I got it, but I was in mixed company and restrained myself.

But seriously, how awesome is that?!?!

Migraine

Yesterday, while I was at work, I started to get a vague sense of unease.  That vague  unease soon turned into a distortion in my vision.  I’ve heard this called an “aura” – but that’s bullshit.  An aura is glow surrounding a person or object.  This was a sparkling effect in my field of vision.  It started as an oblong that expanded and then went out.  The distortion was gone, but my visual centers weren’t processing everything.  I was already in the grip of a migraine.

I took an ibruprophen early on – hoping I could get a handle on it since I had an important meeting late in the afternoon.  I went and got some food and ate that quickly – reasoning that I was likely to be throwing up before too long and it hurts way less than with food than on an empty stomach.  Also, there’s a odd sense of accomplishment that way.  Sorry.

I was doing okay with dim lights and my monitor at 50% – but then the nausea kicked in.  Past time to send an apologetic email and head home.  My head was hurting pretty bad, but the vision was back to normal. I made my way carefully home and went right to bed.

Then got up a few minutes later to make myself throw up.    For me, I don’t really start getting better from one of these until I’ve tossed my lunch and once that was done I had a sore throat and a sore back – but I was finally settled enough to get some sleep.

I slept the rest of the day away and got up after one of my friends stopped over to check on me.  I fixed some dinner, did dishes and laundry, and some paperfolding before putting myself to bed.   I’m much better today and was back to the pool today.

I wish I knew what the trigger was for me.  I also need to get some stronger drugs and take them earlier in the cycle.  It’s been a couple of years since I had one of these and I guess I got lulled into a false sense of security.    You win this round, migraine, but I’ll be ready next time.

love and fear – pet version

Over the weekend, my friend and I took his puppies for a walk in the snow.  We went to a local park and the puppies were rocking the snow for much of the trip – until the girl puppy dropped to the ground and began gnawing at her feet.  The snow and ice had gotten between her toes and she was hurting.  So, my friend picked her up and carried her for a bit and I took charge of the boy dog.  Pretty soon, the boy dog was doing the same thing.  So, I picked him up and carried him.  The little ball of fur was warm, but heavy, and I set him down after a bit to see how he was doing.  He was okay for a bit, but then got distressed again.  I carried him the rest of the way to the car and I think he appreciated the effort.  The pups didn’t have any side effects, but some booties may be appropriate for the next trip out.

Also that weekend I reached a new understanding with my cat.  He loves me dearly – but sometimes that love must be expressed as pain.  So, belly rub -> claws and teeth.    Sitting on my lap -> back feet to my groin as he leaps off.  Sleeping next to my head in bed -> sneezing on my head.  (not really painful, but gross).   Feeding time -> hand bitten. (isn’t there a rule about that?) Holding paws (my favorite thing he does) -> claws randomly extended.

We’re buddies and I love him right back.  And I accept that his love comes at a cost.  It’s all worth it when I can holler “Thunder Cat, hooooooooo!” and he comes running.

When he feels like it.

polar bear plunge planned

I signed up for the 10th annual polar bear plunge.

http://www.portagelakespolarbearclub.com/

It’s for a good cause and I do enjoy being a little bit crazy.  Hoping to have a few folks join me at the lake to cheer me on – and maybe join me?   More details at the site – hit me up on Facebook if you’d like to come along.  And in case there’s any doubt – I will be wearing a Speedo.    You’ve been warned – the awesomeness may be too much for the faint of heart.

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