Thunder of Wade

blortch, yardwork, computer guy

When Thunder(cat) got home from the vet – missing a tooth and acting groggy – I tried to go easy on him food-wise. He was hungry, though, since he hadn’t eaten since the night before and Jim brought over some canned cat food so I could stay home and watch the feline.

Thunder(cat) went after that wet seafood in his bowl like it was nip. Or so I imagine – this is a nip-free house.

He ate about half of a small can and then – while I was unfortunately watching – threw most of it back up right into the bowl. The sound it made was:

“blortch” Or perhaps more like:

“bloorrtch”

It was so gross I actually laughed out loud. Which may not have been the right reaction, though Thunder(cat) didn’t seem to care. I cleaned up the bowl and took the food away for a while. He finished it up the next day and after some astonishing and revolting poop, he’s back on dry food and pretty much back to normal.  Though I think the bonding time we had while he was drugged up has had a lasting impact – he’s much more tolerant of me in general.
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I’ve been out doing yardwork whenever the weather is even remotely nice. I’m mostly just doing some clean-up and enjoying the sunshine. I’ve got some vague plans for the yard, but nothing really serious.

While I was out there mowing the front yard, my neighbor from across the street came over. I hadn’t met him yet and we talked briefly about the new mailman getting deliveries wrong and the yard work we were doing. He asked what I did and when I said I was a computer guy, his whole face lit up.

And my heart sank.

But, because I’m a nice guy, I agreed to save his favorites and format his computer, and re-install windows from a back-up. I worked on that one evening this week and while it wasn’t complicated it did take for-freaking-ever to re-install. 3 hours or so. Which is forever, incidentally. I had him come back over and we did some clean-up on all the crap the backup had re-installed. We talked a little bit about computers and his 3 ex-wives and then I sent him on his way to check his internet. I didn’t hear back from him, so I’m guessing that went okay as well.

I don’t think we’re bros at this point – a little too weird in a non-amusing way – but at least I know another one of my neighbors.

I got to see my nieces for Easter and they are both a lot of fun. We had them hunting plastic eggs in my parent’s backyard and the littlest suddenly squatted down and picked something up – then delightedly exclaimed, “Rock!”

Not quite the object of the game, but she was having fun. She also delights in saying her own name – and correcting people when they call her something else.

I’ll get to see them again for Mother’s day.

——
Last week, I conducted some usability tests on our website along with a focus group. I’d done these kind of tests before and we always learn a lot – though they are tiring – but this was the first focus group I had done.

It went amazingly well. I think we got a real insight into our students and learned a lot about how they use the site on a computer and on their phone. It was fun and engaging too – I’m hoping we can do more of these.

——
I updated my garmin recently while I was doing yardwork. It’s slow to update and I was able to multi-task. The problem? My garmin didn’t have enough storage space for the new map.

Really? Did the US suddenly get bigger? How does that work? It suggested I insert a memory card – which I don’t have and which my garim doesn’t have a slot for – or load only a region of the maps.

I did the later and I’m now good unless I travel further west than Illinois. So much for the lifetime maps…
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I took the day off today to get some errands done. By 9 o’clock I had:

1. had breakfast
2. dropped off the cat to get his teeth checked
3. got copies of paperwork made at staples
4. bought a gift card at giant eagle
5. worked on two art projects
6. fixed some tea
7. cleaned the litter box

Next up, a trip to the Clerk of Courts to get a passport. Or rather, submit the application and pay a pile of money. I was loaded down with documentation and had my checkbook ready.

Except…

No, sorry, that’s not going to work. You need a certified copy of your birth certificate. Not the original and not a photo copy – both of which I had. The clerk gave me the phone number and website of the right department – in Illinois – that I’ll have to contact. She also stapled my photo to the application. Gee, thanks for the staples. So, more fees and more bullshit.

As my niece would say, “Not today, customer!”

I don’t have any immediate travel plans, but I was hoping to make the most of my day and get some of these things done.

So, I went and got my watch band fixed, then lunch at BK. They screwed up my sandwich and I didn’t realize it until I was long gone.

I let out my neighbor’s dogs, wiped the mayo off the sandwich and ate it, and then went home.

Now I’m waiting for the gas company to come and check the meter for… ummm… I really don’t know why except I have to be here between 12-4 because it’s the year 2014 and they can’t schedule any more accurately than that.

Finally – insult to injury – Diablo 3 is down for maintenance today.

Really?

Expansion pack. 4 hours to kill. System is down.

Screw it. I’m going to go read a book. At least those don’t require extra forms from out of state or an internet connection. And the don’t come with mayo, thankfully.

I taught a class on Information Design earlier this week after work. It went okay – I could have been better prepared – but I think some of the students got something out of it.

The interesting bit was what happened before class. I had the email that the instructor sent me printed out – with the time and location of the class. I got there a few minutes early and went in to talk to the teacher.

Except he wasn’t there – instead, it was one of my colleagues in IT. She explained that the professor had been getting the room wrong all semester and walked me around the building to the correct room. Even more interesting was that I hadn’t talked to her in a few months – we’re in different departments – but I had emailed her earlier that day with a question. And then just happened to run into her that evening for class.

———

I also went and got my oil changed this past week. It took longer than I expected, but I had plenty of paper with me. And my phone. When it was done, they went over some service notes with me and I was on my way.

I got an email from the customer service manager thanking me for stopping in. Then they said I would be getting a survey from the manufacturer. She said it was important to give all 10’s as anything less was unacceptable – and she wanted me to contact her if anything about the service was less than excellent.

This is not the first time I’ve been “guided” towards answering a survey by one level that is reported to another level. “If you can’t give us all 10’s – we want to make it right so you can”

Which is bullshit.

A great big steaming pile of bullshit.

Perfection is an illusion. Life is messy.

And all 10’s? Well…

1. Took longer than expected.
2. The service report had no context for the information. A 10 mm note on the brake pads doesn’t mean anything unless you already know what it is supposed to be.
3. The waiting room was noisy and the TV was on HLN. I mean, really?
4. The un-requested, but free, car wash left spots on my windows.
5. The handling and vibration of the car felt worryingly different after the tire rotation – a heads up would have been nice.

None of this is really important or terrible. But, if you’re going to tell me it has to be Perfect ™, then it wasn’t.

So, what do I do? Really judge the service against a standard that can’t exist? Or just put in all 10’s to make the manufacturer happy – and keep the service folks out of trouble? They did do a great job – but Perfect? Really Perfect? errr…no.

Instead of some 10 point scale with meaningless numbers – meaningless if 10 is the only acceptable choice – I would suggest a simple picto-gram.

Happy Face or Sad Face.

If the service was good and you’d come back and tell all your friends and rename your first-born – then indicate a Happy Face. If the car catches fire or parts fall off – Sad Face.

I’m going to respond to the service manager and recommend that she pass it along up the chain to a policy maker.

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I had a dream last night that the power kept going on and off with a bright flashing light. The next thing I saw was darkness, and then me being wheeled out of my house on a gurney.

Apparently, I was dead.

They took my temp to determine time of death – I think it was around 80 degrees – and the coroner decided to start on the autopsy right there in my yard. She climbed up on the table with me and got her scalpel ready. Before she made the first cut, I sat up and gasped. She jumped off the table and everyone stepped back in shock.

And then I woke up. Or came back – I dunno. They say you can’t die in your dreams – you always wake up before you “hit the ground”.

Pretty freaky – but still not as bad as that physics class dream. I was soooo out of my league on that one.

I’ve got a huge headache this morning. Apparently, being dead is rough.

I was in a pizza restaurant recently and we noticed that it could use a little maintenance. The wall of the booth we were at had a hole where a switch or outlet would have gone – except it was just a hole with exposed wires. I covered it up with a bright red piece of paper as a not-so-subtle suggestion that they at least put a $.79 plastic face-plate on it.

Two large sodas later I headed to the restroom. Just above and to the left of the urinal was a picture with the company’s first restaurant. Written in pen, in very small ink next to the picture, was the note, “Hidden Message” with an arrow.

Curious, I lifted up the picture – it was on a hinge of sorts – and saw the “Hidden Message”. I quote:

“Go to hell” with a crudely drawn picture of a penis.

I was disappointed and deeply amused. What a totally different world we live in. If it had been me – and if I was the kind of person to vandalize – I would have written the numbers from Lost, added GPS coordinates, and maybe some cuneiform or Sumerian.

The author really wasted an opportunity to be clever…

Anyway, I didn’t add to this. I just lowered the picture, washed my hands, and went back to the table.
In other news… I’ve been watching the Dilbert TV show on DVD. A few marathon sessions of that will give you a whole new perspective on work. Not a good perspective, mind you, but a new one.

So, Thunder(cat) hung out with me while I watch some TV and had a snack. We also played our version of “fetch” – which involves me rolling a ball towards him and him smacking it with a paw a couple of times. And then me fetching the ball and rolling it to him again.

Hey, he’s a cat

After my recent blood donation, I “liked” Keebler on Facebook and thanked them for providing cookies at the drive. They liked my comment and responded with:

“Uncommonly good deed deserve uncommonly good cookies, friend”

So, clearly, I’m “in” with the cookie overlords. You may begin sending me tribute now.
On a more serious note, UA has a Zips Assistance Pantry set up for next week. Faculty and Staff were encouraged to bring in shampoo, toothpaste, toilet paper, etc. for students that were struggling. I made a trip to dollar general and loaded up – and this morning my co-workers and I dropped the items off.

It’s a good thing and I’m glad I was able to help – but it’s also really sad. I think there’s an assumption that if a parent can send their kid to college, they can help out with the day to day stuff too – and that’s not always the case.

 

In other news… I’ve not been as fanatical about my swimming this year. I haven’t been going as often or swimming as far. I think I got a little burned out last year and haven’t had the motivation. And it’s beginning to show on my waistline. I haven’t had to change pant sizes yet, but that’s the way things are heading. I need to do something, but swimming is the only exercise that didn’t bore me to tears. Maybe I need to try the 100 push-ups challenge again…

Finally, I’ve got a new origami project in the works. I’m going to do a mosaic with a space invader figure. The main part of the project will be at least 176 pieces of paper – and that doesn’t count the connector pieces. I haven’t figured those up yet since they aren’t visible, but I’ll need to get some paper for those at some point. Lot of folding to do, but it should be fun.

I ordered some girl scout cookies from one of my co-workers and the order came in recently. And… I was a little disappointed. The cookies were tasty, but kinda small. There was also more air and packaging in the box than cookies as well. I also found out that the troupe only makes 50 cents on each box – and the boxes are $4.00 each. I think this may be my last order of cookies from the Girl Scouts. Too bad – they really did taste good.

Playing a game on my computer recently, I discovered a new difficulty level. In addition to Normal, Hard, and Torment, I also have: Cat. In this mode, Thunder(cat) drops a paw onto the back of my mouse-moving hand and proceeds to randomly flex his claws. He especially enjoys doing this while I’m fighting a huge boss. Or he’ll stand directly between me and the screen and bat at the movement of the cursor. I’d get mad at him, but he’s just trying to get my attention – and, well, he’s a cat. A certain amount of “jerk behavior” is to be expected.
In other news… I went and gave blood yesterday at Best Buy. Well, at the Red Cross set-up in the Best Buy storage room. This puts me at 71 pints – one away from 9 gallons life time. Which is kind of amazing. And if you’re kinda gross, that’s almost 2 Home Deport orange buckets-of-blood.  Not that I recommend buckets as an effective way to transport blood.

The staff at the blood drive were all business – which I guess is okay. Though I would have liked a smile or two. I mean, I try to help them along with the process since I know what steps are next. And I’ve got awesome veins – or so I’ve been told. They were all a little grumpy – but I guess working on the weekend will do that.

The donation was uneventful and in the snack area I saw that Keebler had donated the cookies. Which was a nice thing to do, so I liked their page on facebook. And free cookies always wins over $4.00 a box cookies.

Sorry, Girl Scouts.

The other day, as I was getting ready to go outside, I noticed that I had an opossum the size of a water buffalo in my backyard. Okay, maybe not quite that big, but still pretty good sized. It was daytime and he was just wandering around slowly and somewhat aimlessly in the yard. I went out the front door and circled around the house to put a fence between us and check things out.

The opossum barely acknowledged me and seemed to be limping a bit. I couldn’t tell if it was sick or what – I found out later they are just like that.

We regarded each other for a few minutes, then both went about our business. He was gone when I checked later in the evening. I also may have seen a new neighbor – there was a guy looking at the opossum through a gap in the fence that separates my yard from the house that had been vacate since I moved in. I said hello and waved and he waved back – and then took off without saying anything. Hmmm… was he scared of the opossum – or of me?

The next day, I smelled skunk when I walked outside. Opossum, skunk, cats, demonic slugs? What’s next?

 

Back in January I got a tooth pulled. While I was really nervous about the process, it was almost no big deal and I had little pain and a quick recovery time. Unfortunately, my insurance hasn’t paid for it yet. The dentist’s office keeps submitting it and it keeps not getting paid – and the insurance keeps saying they aren’t getting it.

Now, I like a good conspiracy as much as the next guy, but I kinda doubt some enemy of mine is intercepting the request for payment in an attempt to ruin me. I’m guessing it’s just some flaw in the system. So, I’ll need to make another call to the dentist because I got another bill and listen to how their local office tells me it’s been handled and their corporate office keeps not knowing that. Grumble.

 

The student government online elections kicked off last night and despite my protests that I have a life (and it’s mostly playing video games, okay?), they keep scheduling the launch after hours. So, at 7:00 I fired up my computer and launched the ballot. I also checked my work email – which was a total mistake.

As usual when I check my work email after hours, I got a message that totally pissed me off. And by “pissed off”, I mean I swore so loudly and fiercely that I scared my cat.

Deliberately obstructive, difficult, inflexible, arrogant, passive-aggressive, and self important.

In one email.

I’m not sure I could do that if I had a team of jackasses helping me – it was impressive in it’s terribleness.

I fumed, I raged – but I did not reply to the email.  Because I’m not stupid.

Instead, I tried to work out my frustrations killing monsters in Diablo 3.

Didn’t work. The game was lagging hard and my poor little wizard was getting her ass kicked because her spells wouldn’t fire.  You know how it goes.

So, I bundled up and took myself for a walk in the bitter cold and driving snow. I was out there for about an hour – including a trip to Rite-Aid for some snacks.

And it helped. I got past being angry and moved on to how I usually work around people like this – by being more clever.

I came up with 5 contingency plans and mentally worked on a calculated email response. I need to follow up on a couple of leads this morning and then I’ll respond.   I’m going for a quick re-read of the message and then an overly friendly and sickly sweet and helpful response.  Kill them with kindness.  If only that really worked…

Why are people like that? Even worse, the work I’m doing on this project is going to help our students directly. To obstruct that is to go against why we’re all here.

Ugh.

So, another busy day at work – better get to it.

My glasses finally came in, but the hours the office was open weren’t really fitting neatly into my schedule. So, I planned to go at lunch – except I had also been asked to check on my neighbor’s dogs at lunch. So, in the span of an hour, I let out my neighbor’s dogs, picked up my glasses (fitting was minimal, apparently I have a standard sized and shaped head), and grabbed a sandwich at Burger King. I had planned on staying late after work if needed since I had an appointment to do my taxes downtown – but didn’t really need to.

My appointment – according to the first phone call and email – was for 6. The phone call the night before indicated it was for 5. So, I showed up at five and was prepared to wait. I got checked in and… I waited. It was 5:25 before they could see me – and that was apparently the norm for a 5:00 time slot. I got my taxes done and it looks like I’ll be getting a little money back.

Except it’s already spoken for. My furnace went out last weekend. I called a repair company, talked to the second least engaging person I’ve ever encountered, and had a technician come out. He found the problem, got it fixed, and only charged me an arm and part of a leg.

While he was working on that, I was working on a folding project. One of my friends is a photographer and gave me some “failed” prints that she had done. I took that photo paper and folded it into a cube and a crane.

It was odd working with the photo paper. It was hard to crease, easy to tear, and generally unforgiving. And, strangest of all, it was watching me. Most of the prints were portraits and the girl in the photos kept making eye contact with me. It was, as I said, odd.

While I had the modules out on the table, I realized I looked like a really craft-oriented serial killer – and I covered the shapes when the repair guy came upstairs.

After a really stressful week of work, I left early on Friday since we finally had a nice day. I got home and decided to wash my car. There was still snow on the ground, but the sun  felt great. And the air, while not exactly “warm”, wasn’t too bad. I had on a tank top, jeans, and crocs. Then I dropped the hose and the nozzle hit the ground and sprayed me. So, I took off my shirt and finished the car washing like it was the middle of summer.

Last night, I went to Kohl’s and got three shirts and a pair of shorts. With some Kohls’ Cash, a $5.00 off certificate, and a coupon for 20% – I got out of there spending 15 bucks. Not bad.

I went into work today to catch up on a few things and when I got home, it started snowing again. So much for spring.

I’ve done a little work around the house today and I’m finishing up this entry by candle light. Not that it’s dark or anything, just because candle light is nice. Time for some more video games and laundry – and maybe some more folding. Not a bad day – nice and quiet.

 

[photos on my website ]

My second trip to the polar bear plunge was on a bright and sunny day in February. The terrain was muddy, the crowd was crazy, and the company was awesome. We braved the mud and got down to the ice early so my friends would have a good view. At about 30 minutes til jump time, I stripped down to my bright blue Speedo to start getting adjusted to the cold. It actually wasn’t too bad – except for when the wind blew across the lake. I walked out onto the ice to take in the sights – and because I could.

I got lined up with the rest of the red-checked wrist bands and waited in the jumper corral for our group to be called out to the ice. Because of the number of jumpers, it was a bit more regimented than last year. When it was my turn, I took a brisk walk off the end of the platform and I was in the icy water.

I knew what to expect and that actually helped. I didn’t feel any anxiety to get out of the water – it was still insanely cold, but not dangerous.

Still, we were somewhat rushed out of the water anyway. I climbed the ladder, announced the water was brisk, and went to go find my pants. The shock of the water, along with the much warmer air, gave my skin a kind of tingly force-field. I met up with my friends and got my gear, then went back to the tents to get changed.

From there, hot chocolate – and a doughnut – and then dinner with the crew.

So, next year? Maybe. It was still an adventure, but I think I’ve gotten the full experience. Anyone want to go along?

After getting Thunder(cat) in the house, I bundled back up and headed for the driveway. I share the driveway with the neighbor and he usually clears it with a slow-blower. Today, though, he wasn’t home and it was all up to me. I grabbed a shovel, took a deep breath, and set to work.

The driveway isn’t that long – as these things go – but it was long enough. And it’s brick – meaning that shoveling was a careful affair. I cleared the space in front of garage, then the neighbors garage, then the middle section, then around my car, then the rest of the drive, then a path down the sidewalk in front of the houses, then my steps, then the neighbors…

Which is when I heard the sound of a garage door opener and my neighbor’s son walks up. He’s amazed by how much I’ve done and says he’ll get out the snow blower as soon as he clears his truck.

By this point I’m wiped out and ready to call it a day. But, instead, I pull my car into the garage and clear their back porch while he goes sailing past with the blower.

I was a little cranky – I mean, I had already done all the work and he was going to “wrap it up” with the snow blower. And then I saw him head down the street to clear all the sidewalks, all the walkways, and all the driveways. Of everyone on the block.

So, yeah.

I did a little more work and then realized he didn’t have gloves. I offered him some and he declined and I told him I was done for the day.

I headed back in, stripped off in the basement and put all my dirty, wet, snow-covered and sweaty clothes right in the washer.

And then I had some lunch. I saw him leave in his truck a bit later as I got ready to go to the eye doctor.

I got there a little early, checked in, and waited for my appointment time – then waited a bit more. The assistant did a few tests and then took me to the exam room, where I waited some more.

For about a 1/2 hour.

Then a guy came in and introduced himself as a optometry student. He did the exam and spent about 100 hours shining a beam of light slightly brighter than the surface of the sun into my eye. And then the other one. Eventually, he finished up and I asked if he could see what I was thinking – or if he’d seen my soul.

He left and I waited some more.

Finally, the doctor came in and did a shorter version of the same exam and then told me that I was at risk for glaucoma. Oh, nice. Thank you for that. They suggested more tests and sent me on my way to pick out new frames.

1. I first asked about glasses with magnetic clip on frames. Nope, my insurance doesn’t cover those.

2. I then picked out some nice frames – though the color was too bright. Nope, they don’t make those any more. The company might have some extra ones laying around, but it would take longer to ship them.

3. I find another pair that I don’t hate – because, really, I didn’t like any of the frames they had – and I ask if the earpiece comes in a different color or if there is a similar frame. The guys comes back with a bunch of frames in what I’m guessing is a shoe box to see if can find some different ear pieces to swap out and I give up and settle for another extra-plain style.

Even with my insurance my debit card begins quietly weeping. The best part was when I showed them photos of a previous Halloween costume with costume contact lenses – the staff thought that was pretty great. My new glasses won’t be in for a couple of weeks.

So, on my day off:

1. Terror in the bathroom
2. Thunder(cat)’s Bad Day and gum disease.
3. Mountains of snow and stuck in my driveway.
4. Staring into the sun and being threatened with glaucoma.

Can I please go back to work tomorrow?