Thunder of Wade

Last Wednesday, met up with two other couples for a fancier meal than I’m generally used to. We were on schedule – but hadn’t factored in summer in Ohio – i.e. EVERY FREAKING ROAD WE WERE ON WAS A MESS OF CONSTRUCTION. I mean, seriously? W.T.F. And this included the turnpike – we should have gotten a discount for that mess.

Dinner was good (though I had to work to “bland it down” to my level) and the conversation was fun – but the day kinda caught up with me before we were done.

Saturday morning, I got up early and worked on the yard for a while. And then I laid out in the sun and just relaxed. I would have said “chilled” but it was super hot out and I just lay there and sweat. I’m not generally good at inactivity, but I think I needed it.

On Saturday evening, I had a really fun dinner with some of my very best friends. Good food, awesome conversation – made it fun for a bit to be an adult again. Not very serious adults, mind you, but adults enjoying an evening out. I made some origami flowers for the birthday girl and overall had a really nice evening.

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On Sunday, one of my friends brought over her grandson for an origami lesson. He’s nine and already knew some stuff – and was prepared to be bored with my beginner’s lesson.

Not one to be outdone, I took it up a notch and together we did some more complex modular pieces. And ate brownies. For over two hours.

My hands were a little tired and I think his brain was full from trying to remember all we covered. He wants to come back, though – think he found a kindred spirit.
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I’ve been trying to tweet more while still following my “only haiku” rule. It’s been challenging to distill something into that very small pattern, but I think it’s a good brain exercise. Of course, the most clever one I came up with didn’t show up on facebook so only my scant twitter followers saw it. It was a haiku – but with binary numbers! As Homer Simpson would say:

“Nerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd!”

Anyway, in case you missed it, Binary Haiku .

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For as much fun as I had over the weekend, I had a rough night Sunday. I had nightmares of being back in college and not knowing where or when any of my classes were. Nor did I have the right books or have any of the homework done, or know any of the professors.

Typical anxiety dream – followed up Monday by a stressful and stupid day. Much of the day was fixing problems that I had already fixed once before – including one that should have been wrapped up literally years ago.

In video game terms, I was ready to rage-quit several times. Just turn off the day and go do something else. I lasted until my usual quitting time and when I got home I got changed and laid out in the sun for about 45 minutes. Just me, my headphones (to drown out the traffic and neighborhood dogs) and my own patch of sky.

It helped, some, but I’m still so on edge. We still don’t know anything and pretty much anyone could be terminated to fit a spot on the budget.

So, I’m torn between trying to accomplish something significant in case I’m one of the ones that gets let go, not wanting to start anything really long term, and being ground down by the day to day.

One of the committees we’re on is working on a letter to the president of the university to ask for some clarification and a timeline. I kinda doubt we’ll get anything – there’s been plenty of opportunity for clarity – but I guess we need to feel like we’re trying.

Time to close up shop and hit the sack.

Just… tired.

Went to give blood last night. My appointment was for 5 and I left work at 4 – and I wasn’t entirely sure where I was going. I grabbed a quick bite to eat and made it to the drive a few minutes before my appointment.

During the health screening, the woman there took a blood sample to check for iron and I had no trouble there. When she checked my blood pressure, it was little too high.

“Did you rush to get here?” she asked.

“A little,” I replied.

“Now why did you do that? We would have waited for you,” she said.

I started to reply about courtesy and respecting their time, but she cut me off and said,

“Now, you just sit here for a few minutes and settle down. Go to your happy place,”

She got up to get another donor started and I dutifully sat quietly and controlled my breathing.

A few minutes later she came back over, checked again, and then sent me on my way to donate.

It was the most Zen blood donation I’ve ever done.

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I got lunch at Burger King today and as I was walking to my car a woman drove past and asked,

“Has Dante left yet?”

I just kind of shook my head in confusion, shrugged, and kept going.

She pulled up next to me and asked again.

“The Dante that works at Burger King? Has he left work yet?”

I shrugged again and replied:

“I don’t know who Dante is. I’m sorry,”

She pulled away and looped around. I got in my car and headed for the exit. I made eye contact with her again and this time she tugged on her shirt.

Referencing my shirt.

She thought my bright blue polo shirt meant that I worked at Burger King and that I would – of course – know who Dante was and if he had left work.

We both went our own ways and I may never know if she found Dante. As a side note, I wouldn’t testify this under oath but I’m pretty sure the employees there were wearing gray uniform shirts. Which makes the entire exchange that much more random.

After work, I’m going to put on a red shirt and go to Target.

 

We got an email on Friday with more news about the university. While a valiant effort was made to “spin” it, the news was still pretty terrible. The dining services is being outsourced, the baseball program is (seemingly randomly) gone, and about 215 positions will be cut.

No word on how this is going to affect yours truly, but even if I dodge this round my friends at work are surely to feel it. And we’ve already seen waves of people leaving – jumping ship so they don’t have to walk the plank.

So, still stressful and vague. Not doing much for morale – but we’re still working hard and hoping for the best.

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On Saturday morning, I needed some mindless exercise so I got out my trusty reel lawnmower and got the grass cut – human powered. Then I got out the trimmer and went after the edges. Notably, I didn’t do any weeding. I think that I’ve got some interesting looking weeds along the fence in my yard and it seems kind of arbitrary to designate some plants as winners and some as weeds. So, I let them go to see what grows. Also, I’m lazy. I did cut some mint to dry and add to tea – so, I guess I’m a gardener?  Or something?

A late breakfast, and then worked on a temporary repair to the back fence. I’ll make a more permanent repair once I’m sure that the neighbors didn’t open up a hole in the fence on purpose – I suspect it was a line crew working on the pole in the corner of my yard.  Also, they left a couple dozen feet of co-ax cable hanging down – which I thoughtfully tidied up.

Then, a quick clean up and off to lunch.
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Went to the new Mustard Seed Market downtown for lunch. The menus are at the end of the line and while I guess you’re supposed to take those and figure out what you want and then get in line – we didn’t do that. Instead, we got in line and had to quickly figure what we wanted before we got to the cashier.

A little stressful – especially since I’m not a huge fan of… you know… “favor”, but I figured out how to order something that made sense plain and was ready to go at the cashier.

Lunch was with some new friends that Jim had met on facebook. We had a really nice time “in real life” and while I wouldn’t consider myself good at new social situations – I felt like I had know these two for years and we were Catching Up instead of Getting To Know Each Other. Which was a new thing for me – but very cool. We talked long after lunch was done – a good sign – but Jim and I had a wedding to go to and needed to head out.

Also, while the top of my head wasn’t burning – I had on sunblock – I was starting to heat up a bit. 🙂
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Quick clean up and then dress clothes – then off to the wedding. There were snacks and drinks beforehand, then a short and simple exchanging of the vows. And then, they were married. It was kind of amazing when the rest of the traditional service was skipped – they went right for the important bits. Which was totally fine by me – I’m about the least traditional or sentimental person on the planet.  And I am not kidding around on that.

Dinner was pretty good – although, dammit, why do people insist on putting onions in the green beans? What is wrong with you people?

Anyway, lots of cookies and snacks and cake. I did some folding and shared some paper treasures with the kids there – then it was time for music and dancing.

The DJ was, in a word, terrible. I like dancing, but I have my limits and only got out on the dance floor a couple of times. The chicken dance? Really? Again? And they managed to screw up the electric slide. Which I didn’t think was possible.  Sigh.

In reality, the problem wasn’t the music – though it was bad.

It was me.

I’ve got a pretty short shelf life when it comes to parties. Unless I’m really engaged, 2 hours is about my limit. By the time 10 o’clock rolled around, I had been ready to leave for about 2 hours. Nobody’s fault but me – which means I guess I need to be more social to get used to being around a lot of people for longer time. Still…. the chicken dance?

Really?
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Headache this morning when I got up, but after ThunderCat and I watched some Fringe I was feeling better. (Seriously, I think he likes watching it with me.)

Jim wanted to go to Stan Hywet today for the gardens and see the flowers. We got a late start, but still managed to see everything before the rain started. Not exactly my thing, but I did like the glass sculptures and the Japanese gardens. He took tons of pictures and I mostly tagged along and tried to stay out of frame.

I was dragging by the end of the day and had another headache – or the one from the morning came back – but I was better after some tea and sitting quietly on the covered porch with a good book.

Which would scream introvert if that wasn’t an oxymoron . So, it sort of quietly suggested introvert. Really, though, I’m trying so hard.

What I really need to do is start a book club where we don’t discuss books. Instead, we just sit near each other, read books to ourselves, and take turns getting tea.

Ahhhhhh… that would be heaven.

Wow, I actually teared up thinking how nice that would be.  Yikes!  I need to get out more.
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Finally, I think I’m going to make an effort to do more on twitter. Mostly because I decided all my tweets would be in Haiku and it’s a good mental exercise to try and come up with something to say. And make it fit the 5 7 5.

I’ve also got some pictures to add to tumblr tonight. So, I think I’ll close this and spread my social (butterfly) media wings a bit.

I had a really good swim this past Monday. I was fast, felt strong, and was really moving through the water. Felt… aquatic… and very much in the zone – if the zone in question was a water zone. Otherwise, not so much.

It’s funny. Took me until I was in my late 30’s – early 40’s to really feel like an athlete. Not that I’m ready or interested in competing – other than unofficially racing my slightly younger (not that THAT matters) co-worker. And it’s good that my fitness of choice is pretty cheap. Trunks, goggles, and a chamois (wow, did I spell that wrong the first time around) and I’m good to go.

Wednesday was less good in the pool. I wasn’t fast and wasn’t really feeling it – though I think I had good form. So, I didn’t swim well – but I looked good. I’ll hit the pool again tomorrow and see how that goes.

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Also on Wednesday, I had a memory glitch after my swim. I was standing at the locker in my speedo and goggles, dripping wet, and I grabbed my combination lock.

For just a moment, the numbers wouldn’t come up. That 3 number sequence – from a lock I’ve used for years – was simply not there. I had just enough time to attempt to switch into panic mode when suddenly it was there again. I ran the numbers on the lock and popped it open on the first try.

I’ve had moments like that before – and they usually last longer – but this time gave me pause.

It’s funny how much we rely on our memory and funny how unreliable it really is. We might remember a favorite toy (Bunn E. Rabbit) from childhood and forget what we had for lunch. Or remember lunch (chicken and rice) and forget an anniversary. I am, in particular, terrible with dates. If I can remember my own birthday – and perhaps my age without having to do the math – I count it a victory.

I was not stuck in my speedo for the day – though I would have WORKED that blue square-cut if that’s what it came down to – and for that I’m glad my memory rebooted.

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It’s been a long and stressful week. We still don’t have much in the way of news about our jobs, though unconnected bits and pieces seem to be filtering out. Fortunately, I’ve been crazy busy and it’s kept me occupied. I’ve been doing a lot of folding at home and I’ll have stuff to share soon.

So, time for bed and hopefully mild dreams – I’m too tired to fight zombies or repair the moon. You are all on your own.

On Friday, I was the “last man standing” for the webteam before the 3 day weekend. It was pretty quiet and kinda dark in the office when one of my colleagues brought the new VP around the building for a tour. The VP asked if I could help him with a file on the web. I said I could and followed him back to his office where he showed me the link and then emailed it to me. I went back to my desk, found and removed the file, and emailed him back. He thanked me, then asked if I had a copy of the new logo – I did, and sent it to him.

So, I think I made the right impression on the new guy. I also got some news that the layoffs may not be quite as dire for our division as I thought. A little hope, then, to kick off the weekend.
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I did some work in the backyard on Friday to recess some paving stones in my lawn. I wanted a stable place for my sun chair and thought the stones would work well and look nice. I spent some quality time with a couple of shovels and a couple trashcans full of dirt. When I was done, it looked like had dug a really shallow grave behind my garage – like, 3 inches deep.  I’ll need to pull the pavers up and put down some gravel under them to level it out, but it got the job done for the time being. I was tired at the end, didn’t smell great, and my arm hurt – but felt I had filled my quota of day-off yard work.

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Another project was replacing the light fixture in my hallway. I got the breaker turned off, got all my tools together, and set to work – and it was a mess. The plaster under the old fixture and the covering over the old wiring came off in chunks and went all over the floor – I liberally punctuated the air with swearing. I managed to get the wires cleaned up and the new fixture installed – and it worked as soon as I turned the breaker back on. Didn’t even catch fire a little bit.

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On Saturday morning, I was on the rack while ThunderCat lounged peacefully at my bare feet. He was purring and languidly reached out with a paw to rest on my foot. Awwww… so sweet. I was enjoying the bonding time when – from out of nowhere – he lashed out with his claws and dug into the meat of my right middle toe.

And would not let go.

When I finally dissuaded him from hanging on, I got the DVD paused and decided I needed to get the wound cleaned up. Supporting the rack with my right hand, I hobbled my way into the kitchen to clean up the bleeding.

He got me good.

I wrapped my toe in a paper towel and hobbled my way back to the couch to finish out my session. When I was done, I went upstairs to the bathroom to clean it out better and put a band-aid on.

I was a little cranky with him the rest of the day but, as usual, he didn’t care.
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Went to a party on Saturday evening and to my surprise – and what should have been a surprise to everyone – I helped cook out on the grill. And made successful and positive contribution to the burgers, hotdogs, and the corn on the cob. I ended up eating a burger, a hotdog, 3 ears of corn, a cupcake, some fruit, and a slice of strawberry pound cake.

Oddly enough, I didn’t feel great after all that – though I did manage to do a little origami and successfully dodged the amateur fireworks and the bees they stirred up.

Overall, a very good party and a lot of fun.
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Today, I made some hula hoops – because I had the tubing and the connectors.

And because never know when you might need a hula hoop. Or… five.  The tubing was much cheaper in bulk.
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The good vibes from Friday have worn off and I’m starting to feel a little anxious about work again. Just gotta keep on keeping on and see what happens.

Time I think for a little reading and then bed. Let’s hope that weird nap I took today doesn’t throw me off.  And yeah, I napped.  Dunno why and I didn’t do a very good job at it, but I napped.

This all started waaay back in 1917 when my house was built. The construction materials used make it difficult now to get a cell signal inside my house.

[Seriously, people, plan ahead!]

Also, I’m pretty sure the Deep Water horizon drilling accident with BP is a factor.

Anyway, yesterday, I needed to make a call on my cell phone in order to activate my gas card – they changed companies and this required rebooting the universe – and my call dropped while I was sitting at my dining room table. (See? All connected.)

So, I figured I’d have better reception if I went outside and sat on my back porch. It wasn’t raining at the moment – weird, right? – and I figured it would only take me a few minutes anyway.

I got to the door, but before I opened it I saw that a stray cat was sitting there. A second, much smaller, cat came up and started nursing.

Ah, mama and baby. Still, I needed to go outside to get this call done.

I tapped on the window to let them know I was approaching and made eye contact with the mama cat.

Immediately, the kitten took off for the opening under the fence. The mama cat looked at me and did the small-stray-cat equivalent of a roar.

Now, I have no issue with public breast-feeding. As far as I’m concerned, whip it out and feed your baby. Whatever.

And I’m fine with sharing my back porch while said activity is going on, but don’t yell at me about it. Sheesh! It’s my house and I’ve already got one free-loading cat to deal with.

(honestly, ThunderCat does NOTHING around the house to earn his keep. He won’t even kill spiders.)

Somewhat cranky, I carefully opened the door so mama cat couldn’t come in and ThunderCat couldn’t go out.

As I opened the door, she took off after the kitten and I went on out to the porch to make my call.

Card activated, I went back inside. ThunderCat – who had missed the exchange as far as I could tell – gave me a look of “what are you doing-wait I don’t care” and wandered off to go upstairs and take a nap on my pants.

I suppose I could have just waited until they were done, but I didn’t like being trapped in my house by a stray cat that had arbitrarily decided to nurse on my porch.

And that was the highlight of my evening.
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The CareUniverse (not related to Care Bear Universe, I’m guessing) has been harassing me via email to enter the ‘patient portal’ for my doctor’s office. And recently they have gotten more…strident. So, today, I clicked on their damn link and entered. Though of course I first had to set up yet another ID and password – seriously, I’m so sick of those – and then add in a security question. Because reasons. When I finally got there, the “data” they were so insistent that I see consisted mainly of when my appointments had been and a note about my BMI putting me in the over-weight category. Nice.

I logged out, regretting the time wasted, and got a text on my phone from the CareUniverse thanking me for setting up an account. Now, I don’t have unlimited texts and the thought of an automated system spamming me makes me annoyed.

So, I logged back in and dug my way to the profile screen. I unchecked all the SMS boxes and clicked the Save button.

And it failed. This same screen allows one to also change your password. Actually, it insists. You can’t save the screen until you enter your old password – and a brand new password.

Yes, it’s that dumb. But just smart enough to not let me use the same password. So, I had to come up with yet another password just to save the settings to not get text messages. I did so and hit the save button – then logged out with a sense of relief.

A few moments later, I got a text from the Patient Portal thanking me for changing my password.

Nice.

Last night I had a multi-tasking dream. Espionage, aliens, a garage sale, a boat trip, climbing a tree, zombies, and time travel. I went back and forth between these dreamlets and many others before I finally dragged myself out of sleep. Really tired this morning and not looking forward to a day of multi-tasking at work. It was weird, I’m usually really on point when I dream. Defend the planet, rewrite history, destroy a sentient subway system – pretty basic stuff. This was all over the map.
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The recent rains – i.e. all summer – have brought back the slugs to my back porch. Huge ones – and as bright orange as sherbet.

Great.

Now I want orange sherbet and I’m also grossed out by the thought of eating it.

I’ve been observing them and have avoided touching any of them – that orange “stuff” is insidious.

I clearly have some issues with slugs and I’ve decided to start some aversion therapy on myself. I recently bought some fake banana slugs that claim to be sticky and slimy. I’m hoping that if I handle these in a controlled environment, I can work my way up to the real things – sometime before the summer ends and they go hide where-ever slugs hide for the winter.  Which, I suspect, is in the souls of innocents.

Note that I said the fake slugs “claim” to be sticky and slimy. I haven’t actually taken them out of the package yet.

Yeah.

So, we’ll see how that goes…
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When I broke my arm, the muscles around the elbow got kinda messed up. That, along with not using that side for a long time, meant that my left hand has lost some strength.

And my physical therapist has been on my case about not working it enough.

Sigh.

So, I’ve been using some – and this is the real name – Power Putty. It’s essentially silly putty, but blue. And the blue must make it firmer – this is not your dad’s silly putty. No, this is industrial strength silly putty.

According to the packing, the Dark Blue (Medium) is one step down from the highest level – Firm (Dark Green).

I’ve been squeezing this a few times a day until the heat of my hand makes it too easy. It’s working – the PT was impressed at my progress – but boring. I haven’t used it to copy comics from the newspaper or modeled this into any obscene shapes. I just squeeze it, fold it over, and squeeze it again. Over and over.

I’m going to see if they’ll upgrade me next time I go in. Maybe with the Dark Green I’ll gain so much hand strength I’ll be able to crush a baseball.

HULK SMASH! Huh, maybe that’s why the firmest is Dark green…

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Today is the second of the days we’ve speculated that layoffs may come. End of the fiscal year and all. So far, all is quiet.

The computer center had a minor flood, I had chicken and rice for lunch, and it’s pretty much a normal day here. If we don’t get any word today, then all bets are off and even the speculation breaks down.

Normal and strange – all in one day.

“In fearful day, in raging night,
With strong hearts full, our souls ignite.
When all seems lost in the war of Light,
Look to the stars – for Hope burns bright”

-Blue Lantern Oath

Seems fitting, this week, to throw on a blue power ring and spread some Hope around. We saw:

The condemnation of the Confederate flag – a symbol of bigotry and treason. Getting rid of the flag won’t change people and magically get rid of racism, but it gives those that would treat people differently by the color of their skin one less thing to hide behind.

Affordable health care – a chance to help people and be good to each other. Until the health care system can be fixed and made inherently more reasonable and affordable, helping people pay for their insurance seems like a great idea to me. Is the system perfect? No. But it’s better than one ruled by greed and financial attacks on those that can least afford it.

Gay marriage – the pursuit of happiness. That’s right out of the declaration of independence. Along with “all men are created equal”. Seems like would be pretty easy to follow – self-evident, even. 🙂 Everyone is equal and we’re allowed to try and be happy. There are no guarantees on the happiness part, but we are allowed to at least try.

I think that’s an important part of the gay marriage argument. People are equal and we should all be able to have the same chance to be happy – and that includes making a lifetime commitment to someone that we love. Why is that so damn complicated?

It’s not over, of course. Those that will put their beliefs and ideas ahead of the well-being of other people will certainly pop back up and argue that they are right and everyone else is wrong. And I’ll roll my eyes, bite my tongue, and shake my head.  And drop them from my news feed on facebook.

But for now, there is Hope.

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On a more personal note, there is still Fear. We still do not have any word yet on who will be affected by layoffs at the university. My gift of thinking in probabilities turned against me Thursday night and every scenario I came up with was dark. It was well after midnight before I could quiet my head and drag myself through a fitful night of sleep.

At work on Friday morning – one of the days we’d guessed that the layoff might commence – I was literally sick with worry. And yet, I still shouldered on and got my job done. What else is there to do? And while I organized projects, built webpages, and helped people – there was Fear.

That I wouldn’t end the day with a job.

I don’t have any reason to believe that I’m more likely to be singled out and laid off. I work hard, I care about the students, and I get along with people. But I’m still anxious.

And that’s a weird feeling for me. I don’t get anxious much – pretty much only when I’m trying to get somewhere at a certain time and I’m not sure where I’m going. That’s about it. For everything else I quickly look at all the angles and figure out courses of action. Things line up, I pick a path, and I’m done.

But this isn’t working because I don’t have enough data. And so, Fear.

———————-

The house it quiet today and the rain is coming down. I’m going to log off and head for the basement to do some cleaning and organizing. I’ll surface at lunch time to see if the weather has changed, but even if it hasn’t, I may take myself for a walk.

And maybe clear my head a bit so I can enjoy the Hope.

My sister, brother-in-law, and their family were in town last weekend on their way to a camping trip. My house was a good stopping off point in their trip and they arrived Saturday afternoon. My nieces enjoyed the park and we went out to dinner that evening, then had dessert and played games while the girls watched cartoons. They stayed the night, had breakfast with me in the morning, then got on the road.

I think everyone had a good time and even ThunderCat was well behaved. When they left on Sunday, though, the house was so very quiet. Almost aggressively quiet. Not that my nieces are ill-behaved, but they are little and little kids are lively.

The quiet, along with it being Father’s day weekend, got me thinking about family. I like where my life is and the shape it has taken for the most part, but I wonder if I had shaped it to include kids of my own. There’s a little part of me that wonders if things had been different – would I have been a good dad?

It’s not that likely at this point in my life, but… what if?

Would I have the patience for 24/7 dad? Would I raise smart and kind children? I like to think I would. And I really enjoy being an uncle to my nieces and to the kids of my friends.

And it’s enough. Most of the time.

I talked to my Dad on Father’s day and went with Jim to visit his father’s grave. I know a lot of fathers and I respect what they do – and I think my brother-in-law is doing an awesome job.

And sometimes I wish for just a little bit more.

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Work has been busy and stressful – and uncertain. The president announced recently that there would be layoffs. Not for cause, perhaps not tied to seniority or job title – just… arbitrary. A line item on the budget to be crossed off. Cold and cruel…there is really no other way to describe it.

I’ve been at the university for nearly 18 years and this is first time I’m afraid for my job. And at the moment, we don’t know anything – other than as many as 200 people may be affected. Or so the rumor goes.

So, we wait. And speculate. And worry. Will it be me? Will it be someone I know? What will I do? What will they do? Can I help? Can they help me?

I’m still putting in my 8 hours a day, still working hard to solve problems and help people, and dreading when we finally know.

Tomorrow I’ll be focused and working hard.

Tonight, though, I’m drifting.

You know those shadowy government types that reluctantly reveal documents and then redact information out of them until they are meaningless? I’m now one of them.

It started with a request by a former student that contacted a department on campus – their name was showing up on a document on our site as the result of a google search.

And they wanted it removed. The department contacted my boss who then assigned it to me. Based on their notes on where the reference lived, I located the offending PDF file and used the “redact” tool to draw a big black line through the name – removing it from the document and eventually from google once the index updates.

It was an odd request. There wasn’t anything about the entry that was defaming or inappropriate. Nothing that could be used against someone as far as I can tell. Nothing to really warrant removing it – which it why we didn’t fight it.

Even though it didn’t really mean anything, it still bothered me to go all “1984” on the file. Or not even that much – we didn’t change the past so much as draw a line through it. Crude, but effective, I guess.

I’m hoping this doesn’t start a trend – I’m busy enough adding information and don’t want to spend my time redacting it.

Though I will admit that I like the word. Redact. See, it’s fun to say even if it is kinda evil.

Redact.

This line has been redacted – sort of. The real thing would remove the text and what’s the point of going to the trouble of typing this if it’s really gone?  So, not really redacted, just kinda.