Thunder of Wade

Had a dream last night that my dad and I were on the run from the Joker (the batman villian, not a playing card). We decided to stop by the house to pick up a few things before leaving town. Dad wanted to take the TV with us, but I was sure that the Joker had gotten to it first and rigged up a trap. So, we wheeled the TV out onto the driveway, connected it to a really long extension cord, and turned it on (using an old style knob instead of a button). With the TV switch in the “on” position, we plugged in the TV from a safe distance. Sure enough, it exploded in a shower of glass and fire.

Dad and I just looked at each other. I wanted to go back inside and get my shoes, but Dad thought the whole place might have been trapped, so we just left a note for my mom and my sister not to go inside and took off. I was still complaining about the shoes when I woke up.

Which is just as well, since I drank way too much water before I went to bed. I must have gotten up 4 times – which is unheard of for me.

Today, when I went to lunch, I tried to get my Usual #1 – rigitoni with meatballs, no sauce. But they were out of meatballs. So, I decided on my Usual #2 – 1 pepperoni and 1 mushroom. Nope, out of mushroom. So, 2 pepperoni. I was waiting for her to tell me she was out of bottle Pepsi too, but they had that and I went on my way. I was only mildy annoyed, which must mean I’m having an okay day.

And that’s it for now – back to work…

Went for a long walk on sunday and came back to find a message on my machine from my sister. Seems she was calling me from the road and had someing weird to report that would be good for my blog – hence this post.

Apparently, a bumblebee struck the antenna of her Jeep Cherokee and got sliced in half. It was still stuck there and one leg was still moving weakly when she called from her cell phone. I’d say the odds of this happening are pretty slim – so it qualifies as weird and thus is appropiate for this blog. (is it also a drive-by-blogging?)

In other news… during my long walk, I noticed not one, but 2 abandoned shoes. They were quite a ways away from each other and not the same type of shoe. Made be wonder though, how a person loses just one shoe? If there are wearing the shoes, then you’d think they’d notice. And if they were transporting them, why would only shoe get lost -wouldn’t they be together? Yes, I’ve actually thought about this.

Today I came into work and fired up my email – over 150 spam messages, most of them in German. I’m not even sure if I should be offended since I can’t read German – but I know I’m annoyed by it.

Well, I guess that’s about it for now – time to get back to work…

Well, today is a kilt day. Work boots and a long sleeve shirt complete the outfit. It’s a little tight around the mid-section – yet another indicator that I need to start working out again. Still, I think it looks good and it’s very comfortable.

Today is the last day of finals week around here – so as tradition goes, someone has dumped some detergent into the big fountain at the entrance to the performing arts hall. There were big piles of foam floating down the street as I drove into work. Officially, as a staff member, I should be upset at the work it will take to clean up the fountain – but it was so pretty I couldn’t be bothered.

Well, looks like I’ve got a lot to do today so it’s time to get back to work…

On the trip back from my folk’s this past Sunday, I had to slow down to go around some debris in the road. It was a somewhat busy road, just off the highway, and there was enough traffic that it was causing a problem. Apparently, a guy was hauling a new mattress and bedframe in the back of his truck and the wind caught it. So, I pulled on past, pulled off to the side, and went and helped him clear the road. Once the road was cleared, we loaded the mattress back into his truck. I offered to help with the rest, but he said he would unload what he had and come back for the pieces. He thanked me several times – I think it surprised him that someone would stop. Just seemed like the thing to do.

I think I’m going to try and react more – helping where appropiate and telling people when they are being annoying.

Yesterday, as I was walking to lunch – I saw a guy with a corn cob pipe. Yes. You read that right. And not just as an affection, he was really smoking it – I could smell it even from a distance. He looked like a reasonable intelligent adult – but the pipe just made him look, well, stupid. He crossed the street before I could say anything.

Last evening, on my walk for art supplies, I stopped at a drug store and bought a Coca-cola – with lime. Now, I’m something of a purist when it comes to my carbonated beverages – but I decided that it sounded good and I’d buy a single 20 oz bottle.

It doesn’t really taste like coke, but hey, not too bad. I don’t think I’m ready to switch over entirely, but it might be good to have again.

That’s it for now, back to work…

Haven’t blogged in a bit – guess it’s time to get caught up a bit. Visited my folks for Mother’s day – had a pretty good time. One odd thing: when we got back from dinner on Saturday we found that the dog had made a mess on the floor – an unusual occurance. Turns out, the dog had eaten an entire bar of decoratve soap from the gift basket that I got for Mom. Not just nibble and then random destruction – but the entire bar. The dog was sick for a while, understandably, but was doing fine the next day. We made a few of the obvious jokes and that was pretty much it. Despite the dog’s intelligence and trick-learning skills, she’s still just a dog.

I got a new book not too long ago – # 4 in a series. Unfortunatly, I’ve read so many books between 3 & 4 that I felt like I was missing some kind of connection. So, I decided to re-read them all in sequence – just so I don’t lose the flow of the story. And these are fairly massive hardcover books – may take me a while, though the warm weather means that marathon reading sessions on the porch are viable.

Should have been – Garbage, the band. Picked up the new CD and it rocks. Feels like they never left.

Played a video game the last couple of days – Metal Arms, a Glitch in the system. Good game, lots of robot-on-robot violence, but it makes me really dizzy and sick to my stomach. Too much spinning around looking for targets.

Guess that’s it for now. Back to work…

So, I get out of work late yesterday cause too many things happened at the last minute. I’ve got a map and an advertising flyer in my hand – I’m on a hunt for water pumps for my Dad; he likes to build fountains. The sale price is excellent, so I’m on my way.

The map and directions are okay in that I eventually find my way there, but not okay in that I’m pretty much feeling lost the entire time. While on the way there I see something I’ve never seen before. A white van pulls up next to me at a red light, pauses, then goes ahead and runs the light. No lights or sirens, he just ran the light. Fortunatly, the intersection was clear and he went on to the next one. Up ahead, I could see the van change lanes before he got to the next intersection – everyone was stopped there at a red light. He pulled behind the person waiting to turn left, went around them on the left (putting him the opposing lane of traffic) and then crossed the intersection – and the light was still red. I could see a third intersection that was fortunatly green that he went on through, then I lost track of him since I was turning left now that my light was green.

People make mistakes and sometimes don’t process a red light in time to get stopped. If they’re lucky, they get through without hurting themselves or anyone else. This guy, though, knew exactly what was going on – and he was a traffic accident waiting to happen.

I arrived at my destination unscathed, found what I was looking for, and headed home. The ride home was a little intense as well since I’ve been trying to drink a lot more water through the day and it was having an effect. But, I got past that okay too.

So, that was my adventure yesterday. And when I got home, I baked a bunch of cookies.

And now it’s time to get back to work…

Douglas Adams (also the author of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy) wrote a book called “Dirk Gentley’s Holistic Detective Agency” – which I read and enjoyed several years ago. My favorite part of the book was the afformentioned “fundamental interconnecteness of all things” – Dirk’s theory that since everything is connected, whatever you do must be part of the solution to any problem. He applied this to navigation – whenever he got lost while driving he would just pick a car at random that looked like they knew where they were going. It might not take him to where he wanted to go – but it usually take him to where he really needed to be, since everything is connected.

Yesterday, while driving back from dropping off my rent check, I noticed that a police car had pulled someone over – though they were still totally blocking the lane I needed. I was annoyed by that, of course, but that’s the subject of a differnt blog. The problem was a ways up from me, but I wasn’t familier with the area enough to strike out on my own. The car in front of me made an abrupt right turn well before the stopped cars and looked like he knew where he was going.

So, I followed him. Subdivsions, backroads, hidden byways…all fell before our mighty navaigation endeavor. A few times I wanted to go off on my own – thinking that we were headed the wrong direction. But, I stuck with the “tFIoaT” and followed.

Things started to look familier and just before we got to the stop sign and turn I was looking for – he turned off into a driveway, leaving me with a clear shot to my turn and smooth sailing on home. I waved to him in thanks, though I don’t know that he saw me.

This is the second time I’ve tried this – worked even better this time around. I think the secret is having a bit of extra time on your hands and just going with the moment.

So, thank you, stranger – you will never know it, but you helped me get home.

That’s it for now – time to get back to work…

A few things to note:

1. Last night, I stopped at Border’s – and didn’t buy anything. Wasn’t sure it was possible, but it happened.

2. At target last night, the cashier asked if I wanted to sign up for a target credit card. Does no one read this thing?!?!

3. Saw a man this morning using a leaf blower on his driveway – at ten till seven in the AM. His neighbors must hate him.

4. Today is my third day of drinking a lot of water. Over the past two days I’ve had 4.5 liters of fluids. I’m hoping it will give me superpowers.

5. Played Katamari Damacy last night in eternal mode – no timer, no goal. I rolled up everything on the planet. Felt really powerful.

6. Saw a bilboard for a soft drink claiming to have unified “one calorie and full flavor” in something they called “oneify”. The “one calorie” image looked like a smiling electron and the “full flavor” looked like a drop of blood from the old red cross blood drive ads. Not sure where they were going with that.

That’s it for now – back to work…

I’m going to try and capture this before it fades away – it was really weird. And that’s saying something.

I dreamed I was swimming in the ocean with 2 of my friends and when we got out I noticed that each of us had a cluster of seedpods/egg cases under our skin. Mine were on my shoulder and I lanced one with a pin. Instead of pus as I expected, there was a little clear fluid and then a narrow green plant stem. I squeezed the skin around it and more of the plant pushed though until it was about 4 inches tall. It had green and blue leaves that dried fuzzy – the blue leaves arranged like the red leaves on a poinsettia – though much smaller. As we watched, tiny white flowers bloomed on the small plant. It didn’t seem to hurt though we were all very worried. The three of us located a marine botanist at a local research center who found the plant in one of her books – but had no idea what to do with it.

So, we pulled it out, marveled at the root system it had in me – then decided to check with a local expert on “things put inside the human body”. This guy had just recently created a hollow cavity in a person’s back and had filled it with water – and four goldfish. The fish, we found out, weren’t entirely real – sort of like cybog fish. They had real guts and skin, but their skeleton was artifical.

A little more study and we learned that the skeletons contained computer information that – when put together – completed a research paper.

So, for lack of something better to do, we deciphered the information and discovered that a 2 year old boy who was working on his doctorate was actually the reincarnation of a young black woman from africa who had been working on her masters in virology. It seems this young woman had exposed herself accidentally to a virus and had then experiemented on herself looking for a cure. She was unsuccessful, died, and was reincarnated as this young boy who was continuing her work.

We had inadvertantly uncovered an ethics violation – since none of the experiements she had done were cleared for use on humans. And that ethics violation apparently followed her to the next life.

Still no closer to the “plant growing of my shoulder” thing – I gave up and went to my parents house, where they helped me pull all the plants from my shoulder. I think I went there ’cause they have a nice yard and would know about pulling weeds.

And then the dream just kinda stalled – like when a conversation is over, but you’re stuck with a person and have nothing to say. So, I just hung out there until I woke up.

And checked my shoulder for a plant. Or even a suspicious bump.

For those of you playing along at home, this is the third dream where something has grown out of my skin.

And now that I’ve got that written down – it’s back to work…

So, I’m in Best Buy, having successfully naviagted the maze of a queing system to reach the checkout, and the fun begins.

The cashier first asks me if I have a reward zone or best buy card. I tell her no.
She then asks if I want to sign up for either Entertainment weekly or Sports Illustrated. I tell her no.

Then she attempts to teach me how to use the debit card swipe tool. I seem to do okay on my own.

Then she asks for my phone number. I tell her no.

There was something else she wanted to know from me, but by this point I was so annoyed that I couldn’t form new memories. Whatever it was, I told her no.

All I wanted from that tranaction was to pay for my purchases and get on with my life. This whole suggestive sales / marketing thing is really getting on my nerves. Let’s break it down.

1. If I had a best buy card or a rewards zone – wouldn’t I have that out already? The lititure for these things is plastered all over the store – it’s not like I could miss it.

2. Magazine subscriptions – you know, it would be a differnt story if I was purchasing a single copy of one of these magazines. Then, an offer for a subscription would make sense. Nothing I was buying was sports related and I might think that Entertainment Weekly is a rip off with pretty pictures and little content.

3. Debit card? Who doesn’t know how to handle a debit card? And, Hello? – the directions are right on the screen.

4. Phone number. You know, I don’t care if it’s for market research or telemarketing – you are not getting my phone number unless it’s essential for the transaction. I’m not in Best Buy as an inviation to be bothered, I’m there to get some stuff and get gone.

5. She wasn’t paying attention to me – or she would have noticed that the insessant questions were annoying me. I’m less than 2 feet away from her and she’s talking to me – but also essentialy ignoring me.

Where’s the friendly banter? Where’s the meaningless discussion of the weather? Where’s the human being that’s suppose to assist me with my purchase?

All I had was a suggestive sales drone who was determined to get through her pre-programmed list of questions.

One of the movies I bought was a sequal – maybe mention that the orgianal just went down in price too. One of the games I got was really cheap – maybe mention that the Greatest Hits section of PS2 games had recently expanded. Maybe tell me that Entertainment Weekly had a great review of the other movie I got – that it was worth the price tag.

I think the next drone that launches in with their questions is going to get a slightly terse response from me regarding suggestive sales. Thank goodness I wasn’t buying a big ticket appliacne – I might still be there enduring their warrenty and extended warrenty plans at exaustive length.

—Holy shit. I just got a spam from Best Buy wanting me to sign up for a reward zone cared. Coincidence, I’m sure, but still deeply annoying. And a little creepy.

In other news – I had a dream last night that I was in a car accident, but that the paper reported it the next day with someone elses name – and that that person had died. I was trying to get to the bottom of the mystery – as the Scooby Gang would say – and took time out to coodinate the suggogate birth of a human from a kangaroo. Apparently, it was an emergency situation and the kangroo had gotten away. I was apparently in change of the situation and we decided on a c-section. I was trying to keep the kangaroo calm when I realized it was having the human baby by natural birth. So, we skipped the c-section and let the kangaroon do the work. The baby was tiny – though still massive by kangaroo standards – and the dream ended with us not being sure if the child would live.

The kangaroo seemed fine though.

Well, that’s it for now – back to work…