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After work yesterday, I hopped in my car and headed down to see Jeff’s aunt.  I had a sort of vague notion of where her place was since I hadn’t been there for a while and ended up driving around almost randomly until I found the right street and enough landmarks.  Which is unlike me – I’m usually ready with a map in hand before heading out, but I was over-confident in my ability to find the place.  Turned out she wasn’t ready yet and I waited for a bit before we headed out to Olive Garden for dinner.

We chatted through dinner and had a nice time.  It was a little sad that Jeff wasn’t there as well, but I think it did us both some good.  After dinner I headed home and played some games for a bit and tried to call my former neighbors to invite them for a visit this weekend – but had to leave voice-mail.  I also got voice-mail from Jeff’s brother (he had called while I was driving home) – but he said he was going out with friends and I didn’t call back.

It was warm in my house since I didn’t have the AC on, but I didn’t think it would get in the way of my sleeping.  Here’s what did:

1. A some point in the night, I got the feeling that a heavy weight  – like, person heavy – was placed on one side of the bed, then lifted over me and set down on the other side, then lifted off the bed.   Like someone had sat down on the bed and then climbed over me.  And since I was sleeping alone and don’t have any pets, I catapulted out of sleep and was wide awake and freaked out in about 1.4 pico-seconds.

I got myself calmed down and drifted back into the closest I was going to get to sleep for the night when:

2. The phone rang – at 1:00 in the morning.  The phone was in the pocket of my pants and I scrambled out of bed to get it – knowing full well I wouldn’t get there in time and worried that it was something important.  My sister is way pregnant and I was worried that she might have gone into labor or something.  The phone stopped ringing as soon as I got to it and  I saw that it was Jeff’s brother.    He left a message asking me to call him.    I declined to call him back right then and instead dragged myself to the bathroom to pee and then back to bed.   (this morning I found he had also sent a text message to me at quarter to one and posted something on facebook at 2 am.  Nice gestures, but perhaps ill timed.)

3. The rest of the night was spent tossing and turning, partly awake and the rest vaguely nightmare filled sleep.

This morning when the alarm went off, I nearly wept.  I’m not used to this – I’m really really good at sleeping and was unprepared for last night.  Got up, got dressed, and headed into work.  Today is going to be a long day and I am bound and determined that tonight I am getting a good nights sleep.  Air conditioner on, ear plugs in, eye-mask on, and phone turned off.  And woe bit it to anyone who interferes in that – pretty sure I’m going to be all wrath-y if that happens.

Today would have been Jeff’s 42nd birthday.

It’s been on my mind the past few days and I’d been trying to figure out what to do.  Should I deliberately dwell on it – and try and work through some remaining issues?  Or keep myself busy and distracted?  The first seemed self-indulgent and depressing, the second seemed shallow.  The internal debate got me worked up and I kinda broke down again.  Took myself for a walk, got settled down a bit, and decided to come up with a third option somewhere in the middle.  That being, keep busy and focus on good things about Jeff.

So, to that end:

1. I finally made contact with the financial company where Jeff had his 401k.  After slogging through several 800 numbers, the worst hold music ever, and a cranky and confusing staff person – I finally reached a pleasant and helpful person who guided me through the process and is sending some paperwork for me to complete.

2. I called Jeff’s aunt and invited her to dinner tonight.  Figured it would be a nice thing to do and good for both of us.

3. After dinner, I plan on calling one of Jeff’s sisters to see how she’s doing.  Haven’t talked to her in a bit and a friendly voice might be a good distraction for her.

I’m also thinking about having my former neighbors over for a visit this weekend.

Feels like… maybe some closure.  Small steps to move on.

I went and saw Avenue Q with some friends on Friday.  Not a huge fan of musicals – I prefer my entertainment with far more explosions – but it was pretty good. It was sort of like an adult version of sesame street – but the performers of the puppets were fully visible.    And the puppets didn’t have legs.  So, sometimes you needed to focus on the puppets and their facial expressions, and sometimes on the performers as they moved.  And some of the people didn’t have puppets, so they were their characters.  It was a little jarring.  The songs were pretty good and I really liked the Bad Idea Bears.

In other news… last year I was contacted by one of my FRM’s kids.  He’s grown up now – sort of – and had gotten himself into a bit of trouble.  He asked if I would loan him some money and I agreed to do so – though not without drafting conditions for a loan and having a witness sign.  The terms were for 1 year, interest free – paid all at once or installments. And I threatened to tell his grandmother if he didn’t pay me back – and we both acknowledged at the time that it was unwise to cross her.

I hadn’t heard anything from him and since the deadline is approaching I was getting ready to contact him.  He sent me a message apologizing for not getting in touch with me and that he was working on getting the money paid back – but his message was coached in a way that made it sound like he was going to be asking for an extension, without actually coming out and asking me for an extension.

I gave this some thought for a few days, then replied and thanked him for the update – and gave him a somewhat stern reminder about the terms.  I’m not very good at confrontation, but an interest free loan for a year is a dang good deal and I was little cranky.  He sent me a note back confirming that he’ll pay me back by the deadline.   Sooner would have been better but I did give him a year.

Finally, I skipped my swim yesterday and went home right after work.    The sun was shining and the backyard was inviting – so, I took lounge chair and a towel and headed back to a secluded area behind my garage – and then I stripped down to my birthday suit and got some sun.    It was so peaceful.  I ate an apple, read a book and listened to some music.  But it was late afternoon and I started to lose the sun.  So, I was only out for an hour or so before I had to go back inside.    That should be a warning though – if you show up unannounced at my house, you should knock before entering the backyard.

I did a couple of good deeds recently.  Minor stuff, but I think it had a small impact.

1. I bought my neighbor’s dogs a wading pool.  They have think coats and I thought they might enjoy a cool down during the hot summer days.  They are still getting used to it, but one of them got in without prompting today and seemed to enjoy it.  In any case, at least they will have a supply of drinking water in the backyard.

2. One of the entrances to campus has a sharp corner and some shrubs that have over-grown.  It’s technically on the property of the electric sub-station, but they aren’t doing anything about it.  So, on Friday, I took my hedge clippers to work and after I had parked my car I walked over and restored visibility.   Another minor thing, but it may make that intersection just a little bit less dangerous.

3. Finally, I was walking past a co-worker’s office and noticed that he was clearly having a bad day.  Head propped up on his hand, intent scowl on his face – the works.   And on a Friday, no less.  So, I went to the vending machine and bought him some fruit snacks (or fooit naks, as my niece would say), then went back to his office.  “Looks like you need some fruit snacks,” I said, handed him the package, and went on my way when he smiled and thanked me.  Hey, who doesn’t need some fruit snacks every so often?

Spent much of Saturday morning doing yardwork.  I care just enough about my yard to make a vague attempt to keep up with the Jones’.  Still, it was good to be outside and enjoy the day.  Ran some errands in the afternoon and went for some amazing pizza at Donato’s and some of the worst fountain drinks ever – then did some folding and watched True Blood on DVD.

Today, went for a hike at the Portage Lake Park.   They’ve got some nice trails and a beach I’d like to check out.  It was hot outside, but the breeze was nice.

I swam three times last week and I hope to be able to do that again.  For now, though, I plan on enjoying the rest of the hours of my weekend and relaxing.

One of my friends had picked up Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol from RedBox and hadn’t watched it yet – though it was due back yesterday evening at 9:00.   The start of the movie was delayed for pizza and as a consequence, the end credits didn’t roll until until 8:50.   (I thought the movie was fun, though somewhat predictable.  “The sandstorm is coming!  Oh, it’s too far away to be a factor. Oh no, here comes the sandstorm! [duh] )

So, we hop in the car and head out to the nearest red box.  My friend took the corners sharply and tore through the streets of Akron like someone on a mission.  An impossible mission… some might say.

As we pulled into the parking lot, one of the machines was already in use and I was instructed to do a dive roll out of the car and elbow the woman in the head if the other machine wasn’t working.  It was, and I inserted the movie in the slot with 2 minutes to spare.  As the woman got into her car she told me that she had called redbox and found out that we actually had until 9:06 to return it.  I told her it was more exciting this way.   With the movie returned, we headed out – at a much more subdued pace.

I went to visit my folks for Father’s day this past weekend and on Saturday we got up early and went to the Columbus Zoo.  We got there a little before 9:00 AM and spent about 5 hours total walking around the zoo with only a short break for lunch.  We were all pretty worn out by the time we were done – except for my niece who rode around in a wagon most of the time and appears to be nuclear powered based on the amount of energy she had.

My favorite animals were the otters and luckily there were two otter exhibits.  Little fellers always look like they are having such fun.   The flamingos were neat and the polar bear exhibit was really cool – you could go to an underwater viewing area and see the bear swim over you.    It was good weather to be at the zoo, but I don’t think I drank enough water.

When we got back to my parents place, I think everyone was ready for a nap – except for my niece who was still going a mile a minute.   I think my sister was the worst off physically – she’s very pregnant and all the walking was doing a number on her hips.

We had dinner and hung out for a bit before my sister and her family had to leave.  I stayed the night and hung out with my parents on Sunday when they got back from church.     I left for Akron that afternoon and drove through pounding rain the entire way back.  The rain doesn’t really bother me – but trying to keep track of all the crazy people on the road was the real challenge.

I got back safely and then had Chipotle for dinner – then home and video games until it was time to go to bed.  Back at work today and wishing I could stretch out the weekend just a little bit longer.

I went for my swim after work, then over to the Akron Art Museum.  I got in free with my university ID and the exhibits were pretty cool.  Afterwards, over to Spaghetti warehouse.  Now, I’m not a big fan of tomato sauce, but the last time I was able to convince the server that I wanted spaghetti, meatballs, and pesto sauce.  She was skeptical about that, but they made it and I enjoyed it.

This time, the server was even tougher to convince.  It was like I was asking for something that wasn’t food.   “Yeah, I’d like silly string, with sponges, and could you add some mulch to that?”

She shook her head, but went off to the kitchen to try and convince the cooks that this was something that a human being might want and might be able to gain some nutrition from.

A little while later, she brought over the food and said – and I quote –

“Well, it doesn’t look very good, but it’s what you wanted”

I dug right into that and cleaned up my plate – and used the bread to soak up the rest of the pesto.  It was excellent – as I knew it would be.

So much for the customer is always right, more like – “The customer is an idiot and should be protected from himself,”

I considered taking a picture for my meal for the next time I came in – but it wasn’t quite right since the meatballs has been heated in the tomato sauce this time and I didn’t want to add more confusion.

A diagram would be helpful though – maybe a single slide from a powerpoint.   Just hand them the sign and say, “like this”.    I actually did try that with a hamburger place once and got about a half of a laugh out of them.  Not sure how it would be received at the Warehouse.  My diner may not have looked good, but it did taste pretty good.  🙂

The crew came by to my house yesterday morning and installed a new water heater.  I provided bottled water and then stayed out of their way while they worked – they appreciated both gestures, as well as the fan I had running.  Took a couple hours and more money than I would have liked to spend, but the end result is a new hot water tank that should be more efficient and safer than the old one.  The water that was on the basement floor is gone and I’ve got the dehumidifier running again.

In other news… as expected, I started getting spam from Radio Shack even before my cell phone battery had arrived.  The first was thanking me for signing up for their… I frankly can’t remember what they called it.  Some kind of membership thing.  The second was coupons for things I don’t want.

So, I found their customer service site, tracked down a form, and submitted my compliant.  I got an automated response telling me my message had be submitted, then a couple hours later I got a message – presumably from a human, but that can be tough to tell – informing me that they had shared my concern with the relevant groups, blah blah blah.  Meaningless.   I unsubcribed myself from the list and if that doesn’t work, I’ll filter them in gmail.   I mean, nobody likes to get spam – why would a legitimate business spam their customers like that?

For dinner last evening, I went to the Hartville Kitchen.  Which is not just a restaurant – it’s more like a themed compound. In addition to the gigantic seating area in the restaurant, they also have a gift shop, a gallery, a candy shop, a bakery, and an entire separate building that’s like a lowe’s+mendards+tractor supply.   The food was okay, the service was reasonable – though slightly unfriendly, and I didn’t get struck my lightning when I walked into the Thomas Kincade gallery.  I don’t know that I would go back again with all the other restaurant options in the area, but it was a nice change of pace.

I checked the mail this afternoon when I got home and saw that I had an envelope from Jeff’s sister.  I opened it and saw that she had sent a copy of his death certificate to me – which we’d discussed and which I’d been expecting.   I read through it and there were no surprises – the official cause of his death was what I’d expected based on what the medical examiner and the detective had told me the day that we found him.

What I wasn’t expecting is how hard it would hit me.  As I read those dry and sterile words on the paper, I got overwhelmed.  It was like I’d been physically struck.  I sank to the floor of my living room and wept uncontrollable for a few minutes.

And then, by slow degrees, I got myself back under a semblance of control and stood back up to get a tissue to wipe my eyes.   After all, there were things to do and places to go and if I’m nothing else, I’m a do-er.

Next will be a round of paperwork with debts to be settled and decisions to be made.  Jeff had left me some money and my plan is to hold back what he had borrowed from me, then give the rest to his family.  I suppose I’ll be able to put that towards a car since mine is in such bad shape and we’ll all begin a new round of trying to move on.

His family will soon be going to Myrtle beach to spread part of his ashes off the pier at the beach he so loved.    And I think some time this summer I’ll make a trip to Jeff’s hometown to visit the grave where the rest of his ashes have been put to rest.

Just a simple piece of paper.  A summary of a person’s death and the last few moments of their life.   I know that I’ll need to read this again as I make my phone calls and sort out some paperwork, but I think for tonight I’ll put it away and try and get some rest.

On Saturday, I was out much of the morning running errands and essentially just enjoying the day.  I got home around the middle of the day and thought I would start some laundry before going to a party later in the afternoon.  I headed downstairs and noticed that it was rather warm and humid – unusual for my basement.  Or basements in general, I guess.  Anyway, it only took me a moment to identify the problem.

The hot water tank was leaking.

Though ‘leaking’ is actually a mild term for what it was doing.  The water was actually geysering out of the top of the tank like a little fountain, then running down the side of the tank and across the floor. I started shutting things off and closing valves – then had a friend come over to help me assess the situation and verify that my house wasn’t going to explode.

With everything as secure as it could be and no damage in the basement – other than the water tank itself – I headed to the party. Only to find that I had the day wrong and it was actually on Sunday.

That night, I took a very very quick and very very cold shower – grateful that this had happened in the summer when I could at least recover from the cold quickly.

Sunday was spent with friends and then later some downtime with video games.  As the evening wore on, I decided to run some bathwater and let it warm up to room tempeture.  Which is a fine idea except that the stopper in my tub isn’t very good and by the time I was ready for my bath, the water had all drained out.

So, I sort of squatted down in a shallow tub of very cold water and had a very quick bath.  I’m not usually one to take a long time getting cleaned up, but this may have been a new record.

Today, I was up early and started draining the tank the rest of the way  – then went on into work and called a HVAC company to come out and look at it.  They were able to come by this afternoon and I was able to meet them at the house and show them what was going on.  As expected, the tank is a loss, but then were able to schedule a new tank and install for tomorrow morning.  One more cold bath and I’ll be back to normal – though I am getting a little tired of all the sudden expenses.  First the car, now the water heater.  I can swing it, but it’s making me crankier than usual.