Category: Uncategorized Page 55 of 157

So, I’m at the pool on Friday and there is no one there but me and the lifeguards. I swim a few laps, then switch lanes. Then swim a few more and switch again. Then half a lap and switch, then switch in the middle of the lane. A few other people show up and I switch lanes around them – careful to never get in the way. As it worked out, I finished my swim in the lane I started at.

As I got out of the pool, I prepped a story/reason why I was switching lanes – which was something I had to think about since I didn’t really have a good reason. I decided I was going to tell people that I was lucky to have made it back and that I go soooo lost out there. And that someone should really put up some markers. Then I planned to shake my head and walk away.

But no one asked. Which is a bummer because I enjoy messing with people in really trivial ways.

In other news… the last remaining balloon from my birthday back in January has finally stopped floating. It made the rounds around the house on the air currents and has finally settled behind my stereo. I’ll deflated it the rest of the way and keep it for a bit – it was a pretty good birthday.

Also, I got reminded that it was recently Jeff’s birthday. I had known it was coming up, but forgot on the actual day. Which is good, in a way. Means I’m moving on. And terrible as well because, well, I forgot. Not sure how much that really means, though, as I’m horrible at remembering anyone’s birthday. So, just a little to think about today as I update my blog and remember.

I returned the incorrectly sized filter at Lowe’s, then went to the aisle to find a new one. They had plenty of the wrong size, but the spot where the correct size should be was empty. I went back to the service desk and they called for someone to meet me there. The clerk and I both looked at all the upper shelves and he checked the computer several times. It showed 29 in stock, but we couldn’t find any. As in zero of these giant boxes.  The clerk was mystified and I asked if could check the inventory of other stores. We found another store nearby that had 24 in stock and I was on my way – but not to the other Lowe’s. Instead, since I now had a better idea what I was looking for, I went to home depot and got the last one they had in stock.  Sorry, Lowe’s, you missed your chance.

Tons of other filters of all makes and models and the one I need is apparently tough to keep in stock. So, with the filter installed and the AC on, Thunder(cat) doesn’t seem to appreciate the work I did to keep him cool.

He did, however, volunteer to help me put some shelves together. His version of helping was to determine the exact next piece I would need and then mark it for my by laying on it and refusing to move. I think tapping it with his paw would have been more useful, but it’s his way. I got the shelve put together with no mistakes or having to undo and redo any steps. I thought it was funny that the instructions were only 7 steps. Step 1 was “insert the 4 smaller wooden dowels into bottom shelf A” and by the time we got to Step 5 there were 20 things I needed to do in that step. Really? Anyway, I got it done and set up and though it’s a little shorter than I expected, I think it will work well.

And from those shelves, I pulled out a pair of shorts to go to an outdoor party yesterday. The party was supposed to start at 4 and we were running late – and got there just as the sky opened up. It poured buckets and the lightning was amazing. I got out to get an umbrella from the trunk and was drenched instantly. On the short walk to the house, it started to hail. Everyone at the party was huddled under in the garage waiting for the storm to blow over – which it did soon enough – though I was already soaked to the skin. Fortunately, I had the foresight to put my phone in a plastic baggie and I left my wallet in my car. The party was fun, the food was good, and the company was friendly. Didn’t stay too late, but had a nice time.

Last weekend, my folks and my sister and her family decided to go camping. Since it was also Father’s Dad Weekend and I wanted to see my dad, I went along too. I’m not much of a camper, but I had fun – though getting there was a challenge.

I left early Saturday morning and headed to West Virginia and the state park they had picked out. I had a printed map to get me started and switched over to the GPS when I got into WV. It was terribly foggy most of the way and made for a really surreal drive. At one point I looked ahead and saw a barn coming out at me out of the fog. It was just a shed being transported by a truck slower than I was going, but still weird.

The GPS took me down a long, one lane road with the river on one side and houses and fences on the other. When it finally cleared, the GPS told me I was at the campground – but my brother-in-law had given me some supplemental directions that took me the rest of the way. So, I had The Mist and Mrs. Todd’s Shortcut. One more Stephen King reference and I would have turned around, but I made it to the campsite and met up with my family.

We got a tent set up for me and had some lunch, then played games and enjoyed the quiet of the day. My nieces needed naps and the river was too wild anyway, so we mostly just stayed near the camp that afternoon. Dad fixed chicken over the fire for dinner and my nieces played on the playground equipment. For Father’s Day, I got my Dad a copy of Fahrenheit 451, that I hid in a fake book that I decorated to look like Fahrenheit 451. Yeah, I’m a little silly. I headed to bed around 10 and had a little trouble settling in. I woke up around 4:30 and made my way to the restrooms – and nearly ran into my Mom coming back from there. I must have heard her get up from the other tent and that woke me enough that I needed to get up.

In the morning, I went to put on my shoes that had been sitting outside the test (mistake!) and a spider the size of a chicken crawled out of one of them. I yelped loud enough to wake up my dad and startle my mom and managed to get rid of it – I hope.

We had french toast for breakfast and were just starting to break camp when the rain started. I had already packed up my few things in my car and I tried to help my brother-in-law with their pop-up camper. Mostly, though, I held my youngest niece and kept her out of the rain since I didn’t know where anything went. The rain settled down just as we were finishing up packing and instead of trying to get lunch there, we headed out and stopped at Eat-n-Park. From there, we said our goodbyes and I fired up the GPS again. This time, it took me through PA and still more odd roads before I got back to Ohio and familiar ground.

Still not really a camper, but I had a nice time.

This past week, one of the committees I’m on had a meeting with the president of the university. We were all pretty nervous and tried to come up with questions to ask. Since we didn’t really have enough, I suggested that the chair of the group set the tone and guide us through the questions we did have for the president. That didn’t really work as he went around the table anyway. I had enough time to prep a serious question – about the state higher education funding model – and then a not serious one. I told him I liked the changes to the campus, especially the labyrinth – but I was wondering if we were going to get a Minotaur?

He laughed out loud (yea, me!) and someone near me asked “what is a Minotaur?”. Then the president suggested I send an email to the VP for Facilities planning.

It was a good tension breaker since we were all kinda down about the budget issues the university has had recently.

This weekend, I did some work around the house – mostly just organizing and some cleaning. I got a lot done – though you can’t really tell it from looking. I ran some more errands today and then decided to take myself out to dinner. I was by myself with a good book and even in the raucous crowd of people near me, I managed to carve out a little peace and quiet – even if just in my own head.

Finally, my last big project for the weekend has been to attempt to replace the air cleaner in my heating/cooling system since it’s been about a billion degrees today. I’ve never done this before, but the instructions looked reasonable and I picked up with I thought/hoped would be the right one. I got it home, started to install it, and… it doesn’t fit. Of course. And it’s really no wonder – I was guessing at the correct size. And they had tons of different options and sizes. How about this, consumer product engineers, how about you quit screwing around and stop inventing new sizes for things that don’t need to be special? If you wanna put magic gossamer pixie mucus in there and change 10x as much – go for it. But make it the same freaking size as all the other ones – okay?

I’ve got my receipt and I’ll return it tomorrow, but it’s going to be a little toasty in here tonight.

Oh, and one last story about Thunder(cat). He’s a playful cat, but he does like to attack me still – his version of ‘play’ I guess. Recently, while I was making dinner, he came up and clawed at my ankle. He startled and hurt me, so I yelped and jumped. Which in turn freaked him out and he jumped too. And hit his head on the cabinet door. I heard the “thunk” and then he walked a few steps and stopped, then shook his head. I could almost hear him say, “just shake it off, thunder, you meant to do that. Be cool,”

I finished up 100 miles in the pool this week. Halfway to my goal, but slightly behind schedule. I’ll make it up in the fall when the pool opens back up on weekends – or when I eventually go on vacation. It’s gotten much easier to do a mile, but it still takes a chunk of time of my day when I would usually rather be playing video games. But every so often I get just the right combination of rest, food, time, and energy and the laps just slide on by effortlessly.

Last weekend, I got invited to a pool party. The water was really too cold for much swimming and only two of the other adults got in the water – and only for a short time. The kids that were there, however, couldn’t get enough of the water and I was in there with them most of the time. I discovered the key to swimming with a bunch of kids in a relatively small pool.

1. Go underwater a lot. You are less likely to have a pool toy thrown in the face that way.
2. When you go underwater, be prepared with twice as much oxygen as you think you’ll actually need. This is handy when you get stepped on or kicked in the head.
3. If there is a pile up in a corner, stay underwater and wait it out. If you try to escape, you’re likely to kick a kid and suddenly you’re the bad guy.
4. Somebody is going to cry at some point. Try not to let it be you.

I think everyone had fun and one of the kids decided I was his new best friend. This was because I pulled him around on the pool float for what may well have been 100 years and then later folded him a paper crane. Kids are easy.

My allergies are, I think, a real thing. But I can’t really say that with 100% certainty. I tried to do a small experiment to see if the prescription that my doctor gave me was really helping by taking the pills (labeled in a sinister manner as RX724) through the week, and skipping the weekend. I sneezed my brains out over the weekend, but I was also outside a lot more. Through the week, I’m indoors and partially underground with no windows.

And that, actually, is starting to get to me.

Just took my pill for the day and the idea that I have to be on drugs to just feel normal – or as close as I will ever get – really bothers me.  Also, the walls here feel like they are closing in, but I suspect the meds are not related to that.

In other news… had a couple of odd instances with my GPS. I downloaded some new voices for the GPS since the preprogrammed ones were getting a little snippy with me. So, the GPS now has a voice labeled Jack and he’s been trying to help with my abysmal sense of direction. On one trip back to Akron, we changed the settings to Avoid Highways – in order to get past some construction on the roads. Jack didn’t like that, apparently. He took me and my passenger through some rough sections of Akron in order to prove that point – always keeping the highway in sight, but still avoiding it. It was almost comical if it hadn’t been so un-nerving. We got back to familiar ground and turned off the Avoid Highways setting.

Not long after that we were out in Lodi and off the beaten path. Rather than head back towards the highway, we set out in the general direction of home and fired up the GPS. Rather than take us back to the highway, Jack directed us to the middle of Nowhere and then on beyond Nowhere. We made it home, but I remain convinced that Jack was ticked that he keeps having to bail us out.

In video game news… I finished Dishonored with a high level of chaos. The first time through, I played Low Chaos. This involved sneaking around and trying not to kill people – including the main targets that were removed from power through other means. High Chaos is massively more violent and fun in it’s own way. The ending of the game played in High Chaos was disappointing – one final guy dispatched as easily as any other character and then… roll credits. Still a really fun game and maybe more fun than Bioshock Infinite – though the storyline is weaker.

Finally, an odd encounter at Chipotle. And I’m going to be as delicate as I can with this re-telling. There was a… full-figured… woman standing in front of us in line. She was wearing a top that was far too small for her and it was also cut far too low. Her breasts were mounding out the top of the nearly horizontal opening of her top and – because there was no musculature there to support them – the vertical mound that came out of her top moved independently of the rest of her body.  Think  jello balanced on, well, anything that moves randomly.  The result is a whole lotta jiggle.

It was disturbing. And very difficult not to stare at. The thing that really struck me was that – at some point in the day – she put on this top and decided that it was what she was going to wear. It’s not like she could have failed to notice the problem.

I didn’t say anything to her as I was clearly not in her weight-class and planned on enjoying my burrito without a side of whoop-ass. Which I would have earned since there was nothing I could have said that wouldn’t have demanded swift and painful retribution.

I like dogs. And children. I think both species are a lot of fun and I enjoy being an uncle to both – provided that I don’t have to have any real responsibility while they are in my care. Other than the standard “death/injury prevention”. Along with this is a fairly strict “no-poop” clause that I’ve been able to maintain for a number of years.

However, having a pet of my own means that this no-poop clause is no longer viable.

I am now responsible for someone else’s poop.

Just like work.

Ha! I kill me.

And let me tell you, that cat can poop. I haven’t taken official measurements, but I’m pretty sure he is excreting more than he takes in. Which, I know, should be impossible.

However, giving the staggering amount I find in his litter box, my only conclusion is that he is somehow tapping into an alternative dimensional source for this “dark matter”. I’ll post another update once I’ve done some SCIENCE!
In other news… when I was a kid we had some really amazing ground cover in part of the yard. It had purple and green leaves and was very springy – especially on small bare feet. My mom always called it CPS – Creeping Purple Stuff. Turns out – not the official name. I’ve been looking for this since I’ve got my own yard and finally figured out what it is.

Ajuga reptans

Might make for an interesting experiment in my yard – provided I can keep it under control. Or I can try and mutate it so that it can pilot a giant fighting robot in the shape of a lizard. Hey, it’s not the weirdest idea I’ve come up with today.

Work news… Much of the same, except that a couple of my colleagues started talking about a Time Machine function for the website. This would give us a snapshot of the whole website at set intervals. The cool bit was how they immediately defered to me on any Time Travel related decisions – since I’ve the resident Master of Space and Time. We aren’t far enough along in the project for me to request the proper permits, but I’m glad they included me.

Finally, over the weekend, I mowed my yard. And while I guess I don’t really mind it, I apparently have developed some speculator allergies. I nearly knocked myself over sneezing a few times. I took some meds today and I’m alright now, but I wonder if – given the amount of mucus I was producing – I might be developing a super power. If I expose myself to more allergens I might be able to produce super-human levels of mucus – or convert INTO mucus. That would be awesome and – admittedly – really gross.

I got elected as the Vice-Chair to the Staff Employee Advisory Committee last week. Ran unopposed, which I’m choosing to take as a compliment from my peers rather than “nobody else wanted to do it”. I’ve got some ideas for the committee and lots of work to do there, but I think it will be worth it.

On Friday, met up with some friends for coffee and a late dinner at Wally Waffle. I had a chicken sandwich and it was just “okay”. Maybe the waffles are amazing, I couldn’t tell you.

On Saturday, up bright and early to hit the pool. Except it was closed and I didn’t realize it until I had already gotten there. I even tried at the RecCenter and they wouldn’t let me in without a membership – though I’ve done this before when the main pool was closed. I was disappointed; I had hoped to get caught up a little or at least hold my ground since the pool would be closed for memorial day.

Instead, went to the Bomb Shelter in Akron. This is a really weird and cool store – like the basements and attics of some interesting people all rolled into one warehouse. I hit some serious sensory overload but managed to get out of there having only bought a circuit board master and some spoons for a wind-chime. I’ll totally have to go back there one of these days.

On Sunday, dinner with friends at the Golden Dragon. The sushi was excellent, but the orange chicken left something to be desired. I also started getting a hellacious migraine while we were eating. I managed to get through dinner, turned over my keys to my friend, and got myself to a darkened room as quickly as possible. I got up briefly to throw up, then back to bed to sleep it off. Haven’t had one of these in a while – wish I knew what triggered them.

On Monday, brunch at Bob Evans – which was an intense experience. Never been to a Bob Evans that was this busy. I guess it was the holiday and the poor weather. Next stop was Gamestop where I picked up BioShock Infinite. I played that a bit on Monday, then went back to Dishonored to cause some more mayhem. Did some reading and hung out with the cat – then got some pizza hut.

A busy weekend, though I would have preferred – like every other Ohioan – to be outside for memorial day.

I was in a cranky mood yesterday as my day finished up and I was dreading the pool. And of course, there were only two lanes for lap swimming. I was upset with myself while I was swimming because I found myself trying to rationalize my way out of my full swim. And upset because I wasn’t doing a good job at rationalizing. I got joined by a woman who wanted to share the lane and my mood suddenly improved. I was forced to share and cooperate and it’s tough to go wrong when your afternoon suddenly turns into an episode of sesame street. We were soon joined by a third person and the complexities of keeping the three of us from running into each other scrubbed away the rest of my bad mood. I finished my mile and had a slight jaunt to my step as I made my way back to my car.

Last evening, I finished up the game Dishonored. I played the “low chaos” track – which is tough to do when your character is an assassin  – and though I enjoyed the game I thought the ending was weak. I’m going play through it again as a “high chaos” character and see just how much damage I can do.

Recently, I bought my cat a container of cat grass. It sprouted and last night it was tall enough for him to eat. Thunder(cat) was a little unsure at first, but then he tore into that like it was the best thing ever. I’ve got a strict “no-nip” policy in my house, but the grass seems okay.

In the news recently was word that the City of Akron has been the victim of a cyber-attack. I called the number today and couldn’t get through to check to see if I would be affected. I saw on their website that they were having a city attorney at a few locations around town to provide the list of names and answer questions. The hours weren’t exactly convenient – 10 am to 3 pm – but I made some time at lunch to go there and wait in line. It finally got to my turn and my name wasn’t on the list. I considered showing the attorney how to search more quickly through the list – but decided the attorney vs. geek battle needed a few checks and balances. So, relieved, I headed back to work – though I feel really bad for the 5,000+ other names that were on that list.

After work, swim again. When I was done and nearly dressed, I stopped before I put on my socks. I spent a couple seconds – which, for an android, is nearly an eternity – trying to decide if I really needed to put my shoes and socks on. It was a beautiful day, the campus was nearly empty, and the idea of barefeet just seemed right. So, I tucked my socks in my shoes and walked nearly the length of the campus barefoot; carrying my shoes. Not the most professional thing to do – even if I didn’t go in any buildings – but also not the weirdest thing I’ve seen on campus.

Finally, the last of the balloons from my birthday back in January are starting to fade out. There were two blue ones that hung on longer than any others, but they have started to drift and one even tried to sneak outside. I’ll deflate these the rest of the way soon and most likely save them – it was one of the best birthdays I’ve had in a long time.

Went out to dinner on Friday with some friends to a Mexican restaurant in the area. This one is known for cheap and really good food – and for helping celebrate birthdays by slamming a sombrero on someone’s head and smashing a pie in their face. One of my friends was having a birthday this weekend and he told us in no uncertain terms that he would not allow that. And would, in fact, walk out if someone tried it. We kept an eye on the kitchen in case the word slipped out and though there were a couple other groups that got “sung at”, we escaped unscathed and had a nice dinner.

Afterwards, the crew went back to my place to hang out and have some dessert. I fixed some cheesecake in cupcake cups with raspberries and chocolate sauce. Turned out pretty good.

On Saturday, I got a little sun and then went to a game night with some friends. The food was awesome and the company was good. I spent a chunk of the time entertaining – and being entertained – by the kids. My job was to set up the blocks for an angry birds board game and the kids would then knock them over. Sometimes this was with the included catapult, but usually it was by them kicking the board as they went past on some other adventure. It was a lesson in futility. After we did that for a bit, a few of the adults played Mahjong. I watched and decided that – once again – they were making up rules as they went along.

That evening, with a little help from a friend, I thoroughly finished Lego Batman 2. I managed to complete the game to 100% (all gold bricks found, all characters unlocked, etc.) on my own, but needed some to play along with me to get the co-op achievement. Once we played one level, I had all the achievements and was named a “Complete Hero”. It did a world of good for my OCD.

On Sunday, I went to give blood in the afternoon. The technician that did the history was bordering on rude. She kept going over questions of my identity like I was trying to hide something. It was odd and annoying. She almost snapped at me when I asked her to repeat a question and I wondered what I’d done to get on her bad side – but after seeing her interact with the rest of the crew I realized she might not have a good side.

The tech that handled my donation was much better. I was once again complimented on my veins and had no problems with my double-red donation. And as a bonus, I got a Best Buy gift card for $5.00. Which won’t actually buy any thing at the store – perhaps a candy bar and soda – but will help with an eventual game purchase.

That evening, another dinner out for my friend’s official birthday celebration. The server was amazing and we told her so – and I then I asked to see a manager to pass along the compliment. He was surprised and pleased at our praise – and paid for dessert. Unexpected, but very nice.

So, a busy weekend with a lot of really good food and great weather.

Last Saturday, I headed south to visit my Mom for mother’s day. My sister and her family were there as well and Dad fixed chicken on the grill. We played some games, hung out with my nieces, and generally had a nice time. I made Mom a vase that my niece can fill with flowers/weeds. 🙂

On Sunday, I celebrated another mother’s day with another mother – though this time the plan was to go to Golden Coral. At 11:00am. On a Sunday. On Mother’s Day.

I was prepared for the worst, but we did okay. The food was pretty good and the crowds were intense but manageable. I ate too much, but it was worth it.  We also had an in-depth discussion on the merits of bacon.

After the buffet, I decided I needed to mow my yard. I started out with a jacket and a stocking cap, then it got too hot for the hat. Then too hot for the jacket. Then it got cold again. Then it freaking started to snow. Then rain. Then sunshine. All this while I was mowing – and I have a small yard.

The randomly cold weather has hit me hardest at night. I just can’t seem to get comfortable when I’m trying to sleep. Thunder(cat) has been trying to help in his way, but instead of keeping my feet warm, he prefers to, essentially, sleep on my crotch.

Now, I’m really on the fence about this. He’s really warm and the purring sounds really nice. And as he settles in, the purring settles down too and I know he’s comfortable.

But, he’s easily startled and he’s got some wicked claws that he’s not afraid to use. So, my crotch is maybe not the best place for him.

In other cat related news, I got him a small toy goose. In less than a day he had ripped open the back of the goose like a deranged avian spinal surgeon. I went ahead and removed the stuffing guts and he seems okay with that.

Finally, my neighbor. She’s got a really nice and well maintained house and a yard that she maintains with precision and grace. She’s also a fan of the color blue and she’s painted the shutters, garage door, lamps, etc. in a particular shade.

I saw some pink plastic flamingos in the store and decided to prank her immaculate yard. But before I did that, I spray painted them blue to match her house. So, it was still a prank – but a good-natured one.

I snuck over to her house around 11 at night, planted the newly blue flamingos in her yard, then snuck home. The next day, I waited for the reaction on facebook.

She had no idea it was me – totally random.  I confessed later that day and she gave me a hug and said it was great. She took them down to mow, but put them back up. We’ll see how long they last.

Oh, and in other random news, I shaved off my mustache. It was a nice experiment in facial hair, but it didn’t really work for me.   Nobody really liked it, I think – except for Mom.  🙂   There’s a photo on Facebook, if you’re interested.