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Yes, it’s a video game post.  But read it anyway because it’s funny.

So, finally, my valiant party reaches the gates of Sanctuary’s heaven. One last battle against the Prime Evil – Diablo.

Just before we cross the entrance Tyrael, the former archangel, stops.

“Yo,” he says as I paraphrase, “Imma just gonna sit this one out and chill right here. Good luck with that final battle against my arch-enemy and all,”

Really, Tyrael? You’re gonna sit this one out? ‘Cause that flaming sword seems to work pretty well against those 10,000 demons we killed to get here.

Fine. Jerk.

I’ve got a Templar watching my back and we head on into the Silver Spire. Suddenly, a cage of bone bursts from the ground and forms around the Templar.

“Oh,” he says as I paraphrase again, “I appear to be trapped here. Go on without me. Terribly sorry. Good luck, pip pip cheerio.”

Really, Templar? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure that the big ass sword I GAVE you should be able to break that cage in about one swing. If you want to be a little bitch and just sit there, so be it. I don’t need your punk ass – though that periodic healing you’ve been doing all along would come in really handy vs. the end all be all of evil. Also? You can’t die – so why are you sitting there hiding and crying?

With a sign of disgust, my Demon Hunter approaches Diablo on her own. About midway through the fight, he pulls a cheap move and teleports her to another realm where she has to fight a clone of herself and a clone of Diablo. Or something, I wasn’t really paying attention. We killed everything there and teleported back to kick Diablo’s ass.

When the smoke finally cleared and Diablo was no more, Tyrael, the Templar, and some random angels show up. They are all like, “We defeated the Prime Evil – yea for us! We totally rock!”

Really? “WE?” Where the frak were you when he lit the Demon Hunter on fire? Huh? Could you have stopped by with a bucket of water or something? Maybe you could have tossed in some healing orbs from the sidelines. Nothing?

Fine, whatever. Jerks.

Good game, though.

I’ve been playing a lot of Diablo 3 and it is wicked fun. I’ve been steadily kicking some ass in this game and really enjoying the visuals, the gameplay, and the intensity. Every so often the game changes up and the tables get turned. And then a monster walks up to me and goes, “Excuse me, sir? Here’s your ass. On a platter. Have a nice day,”. So, I back-track a bit, level up, and then go kick their ass.

The twang of the bowstrings of my dual wielded crossbows. A crack and a whiff of ozone as the electrified and explosive bola shots streak though the air. The satisfying shriek of monstrous anger when they find their mark and explode. And the inevitable “gibletting” of the forces of evil. It’s good to be a demon hunter.
So, a new word came up for me and I’ve going to start trying to work it into my conversations:

Yestermorrow.

Time travel reference, naturally. From a little game called Cookie Clicker. I haven’t decided what it means yet, but it “feels” like it might be totally immersive deja vu. Like the movie “Groundhog Day”, maybe. Say it with me, “Yestermorrow”. Ah, yeah, there’s the stuff. I’m maybe going to try and put together a list of words I can find for describing time travel – should be fun.
YesterDAY, I finished mile number 177 for the year in the pool. Feels like I’m in the home stretch and I’ll easily exceed my goal of 200. I could even take a day off, but then I think – Would Jay Martinez take a day off? Nope, he’d have a ViShake or something and go out there and run. Would Jeanne DeBonis take a break? Nope, she’d be out there on her bike on crutches if that’s what it took. Not actually sure how that would work, but she’d do it.

I’m getting stronger and there are fewer college students that can outswim me anymore. Pretty much the swim team are the only ones that can make me look bad in the short term – but I bet I could outdistance them.

In other news… it was suggested to me that I should have named my cat Wasabi – since with the love comes some inevitable pain. Thunder(cat) is actually getting better about not drawing blood – or I’m getting quicker – but it still might work as a middle name for him. Thunder Wasabi (cat). Yep, it works.

I also came up with some other clever pet names that could work for trendy pet stores. MUTTazuma and CleoCATra. You’re welcome.

In music news… I got stuck in traffic yesterday. Rather than swear or turn on talk radio, I rolled down the windows and fired up Brave by Sara Bareilles and sang along with her. If there’s ever a song to be belted out without fear of what people think, that would be the song.

Today it’s a little C2C in the headphones at work before the meetings start.  Wish me luck.

I keep in touch with my former co-worker and his family – they are all great and a lot of fun. On a previous visit I learned that one of his daughters – just now age three – is a huge fan of Godzilla. Pretty much anything and everything Godzilla. So, for her birthday, I checked out Toys R Us and found a set of Godzilla characters in a Chibi style – sort of mini+cute+slightly deformed. We got to see the crew at breakfast last weekend because we had missed her birthday. When she opened up the giftbag and realized what they were, she literally squealed with delight. She hopped up and down in her booster seat at IHOP like it was the best present ever. 🙂 We got the figures out of the package and she played with them while she ate her breakfast – Mothra was her favorite.

On the way out, I threw away the gift receipt – no way she was returning those. Not sure how she got started with Godzilla, but I’m happy to encourage her.

In other news… I got contacted by a fellow committee member at work recently with a request. This weekend in the Faculty/Staff picnic and the homecoming football game. I hadn’t planned on going, but they needed volunteers for the dunk tank and thought of me.

So, apparently, I have a reputation for being more than a little out there – and I guess it’s well deserved because I didn’t have to think about it long before I said yes. It’s a 15 minute shift in the tank and then on with the picnic. Should be fun.

light in the attic, warm kitty, onion, diablo 3

Since I’ve lived in my house, the house behind my backyard (separated by a tall fence) has been vacant. Even in the short time I’ve lived here, the house has fallen on further disarray and a drive around the block showed that it was getting worse all around. I’ve sort of figured that it gave me a little more privacy and didn’t really think much of it.

Until, a few weeks ago, a light came on in the attic. No shade or fixture, and not even a window, the bare bulb was unnerving. There was no other activity or signs of habitation – just this one light, shining all night after night from the attic.

Finally, I started hearing and seeing signs of construction and repair. There’s still a long way to go, but at least someone [human, I hope] is working on it.

In other strange happenings at night… my cat actually snuggled with me last night. He will usually check in on me sometime at night, step directly on my junk, then wander off to do cat things. Last night, perhaps because it was a bit chilly and I generate a lot of body heat, Thunder(cat) settled in and stayed in one spot most of the night. Even when I got up to use the bathroom he stayed right where he was and I had to move around him. It was pretty nice – and he didn’t step on my junk, which was even better.

My good mode at the warm kitty was broken when I got into work and quickly got a headache. It didn’t get better at lunch because someone slipped an onion fragment into the lettuce and it contaminated my salad. Really, why do people even put those things on a salad bar anywhere near the lettuce? Just asking for trouble.

Finally, my copy of Diablo 3 should be here any day. I put it off long enough, Tristram needs me and the Prime Evils need their collective asses kicked.

And I’m the man to do it.

Wednesday morning was another ocean swim, though it was so rough I started to get sick. I took a break and swam again later once the waters were calmer. Also got a slight sunburn on my nose, checks, and forehead – but some aloe took care of that. The group went to Outback that evening for dinner and got the Blooming Onion. Which prompted a discussion on why I think they are evil – to the amusement of the crew as they dove into it.

After dinner was a trip to Barnes and Noble and a walk on the beach in the almost full moonlight.

Thursday morning the smell of peppers and onions woke me up. Really? People not only eat the stuff – they eat it for breakfast? I had my breakfast outside and beat a hasty retreat to the ocean. A pretty quiet day of swimming, getting some sun, and enjoying the pool. Dinner was at the Mellow Mushroom. Oh, and I bought a hat.

Friday was mostly by the pool – and my Zips towel caught the eye of a UA Alumni. We talked football for a few minutes before he headed off with his family and I got back in the water. I would said it was an odd coincidence except for all the people that were there from Ohio. Which was everyone.

Saturday morning we were up early to drive home. We said good bye to the beach and headed out. And it was a terrible drive. Traffic accidents, construction, detours, rain, wind, intense fog. And a little game I like to call “wild GPS chase” where we put in a destination and it leads us though the least direct route. Fun.

I was wiped out when I got home, but it was great to see Thunder(cat) again. He was purring like crazy and didn’t even draw any blood – must have been happy to see me too.

I went through and cleared out some of my work email today. Time to put away the shorts and get out the jeans again in chilly Ohio.

It was a good vacation and I’m glad I was able to get away. Next time, though, I’m hoping I can fly.

Up bright and early on Monday morning and back to the ocean for another swim. And that was after a breakfast on the balcony of pop-tarts and a fresh peach – great way to start the day.

We did the tourist thing in the afternoon and were going to meet up with the rest of the crew for dinner. Just as we were about to pay the $5.00 fee to go on the part of the island where the restaurant was, we got a text with a change of plans. Very close call. We drove through the rain and a couple of swampy parking lots before we got to the newly chosen restaurant. Mexican food and very well done – though everyone at our table (and the table next to ours) wanted some kind of exception to what was on the menu. We’re Ohioans, after all.   A little pricey, but good.

After dinner I fired up my phone and checked in with my cat’s caretakers. He was doing well and I was relieved – then I turned my phone off again. I really tried to avoid electronics this trip and did pretty well – though I didn’t go “cold turkey” like I had hoped.  Though I didn’t do anything work related – thankfully.

Tuesday morning I fought the ocean and got in a swim – though the current was so strong I actually lost ground. It was overcast so we decided to go to Savannah that afternoon instead of back to the beach. We explored the riverfront area and saw a HUGE cargo ship come in. Dinner was at Spanky’s Spuds – and the Spuds are very much like Jo-jos around here. I picked up some souvenirs and the book “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil” and we headed back to the condo.

We left for a vacation in Hilton Head on Friday the 13th (yikes!) and drove for about 800 years. Or at least it seemed like it, especially when I didn’t eat on my regular schedule. I tend to get pretty cranky when my food clock is disrupted. And I was already missing Thunder(cat).

Finally got to the hotel room in Charlotte and settled in for a good night’s sleep. Which was disrupted the next morning by a fire alarm in the hotel. I got dressed quickly and we headed downstairs to find it was a burned waffle – but the staff couldn’t turn off the alarm. So, instead of just standing around outside, we headed to Cracker Barrel for breakfast. And some jerk-bag was conducting a meeting one section over. And she was loud. The manager wouldn’t say anything to her, so I confronted her and told her that her voice was carrying. She toned it down for a few minutes, then forgot and started shouting again. Breakfast was finished quickly.

Back on the road and finally made it to HH. We had to kill some time before the rest of the condo-mates arrived so we hung out in some deeply pretentious outlet stores and visited the statue of King Neptune. Made me look forward to swimming in the ocean. Once we were checked in and unpacked we had some pizza and explored the complex of condos. Nice place, though a bit of a maze.  Oh, and the door had a keypad instead of a key.  Made it a lot easier to come and go to the beach without worrying about keys – once we memorized the code (671044)

On Sunday we hit the beach and I swam in the ocean. I was not the only one rocking a speedo on the beach this trip – but I was the only really putting it to use in the water. For dinner that evening, we went to the Crazy Crab and I got the Low Country Shrimp Boil. Peel and eat shrimp, red potatoes, and corn on the cob. I felt like a native – though I was a mess when I was done.  I even asked the waiter for a better technique, but he said the best way was to just go to it.

Don’t let any of us tell you differently – sometimes geek need tech support too. When I got my new computer, I had a trial version of some anti-virus software included. It promptly expired. However, I was already being billed for another anti-virus application from that same company from a previous install – but couldn’t remember the old ID/password. So, I needed to get the two accounts updated and merged. I fired off an email to company, responded to their reply, and then at their suggestion picked up the phone and called.

With dread. I mean, I do tech support all the time and there’s an art to it. I’ve also known plenty of people that do support and are terrible at it. Terrible.

I got through the prompts and got connected to a human. His name was Sam and he had a very strong accent. Guessing he wasn’t based in Ohio.

And he was awesome. Efficient, friendly, helpful and patient. Once I explained to him what I was trying to do, he had the account switched over in moments. Then he offered to switch me over to another tech to help get the old version removed and the new one installed. I could have done that install myself, but I figured “toll free call” and went along with it.

The next guy was Anu – same heavy accent. And also awesome. He even taught me a new trick with using Windows 8 that I now use all the time. He was patient while the new version downloaded and installed.

In short order, I was back up and running with a new installation of the anti-virus. The only complaint I had was the ticket number system. Despite detailed notes I added to the ticket(s) they used, neither guy read them at all and I might as well have been starting from scratch.

Still, an overall great tech support experience.
In other news…

I’ve always been a picky and stubborn eater. I like the things I like – usually the blander the better – and that’s pretty much it.

But as I’ve gotten older I’ve been trying new things. Started with wasabi – which is some dang good stuff. I’ve even been known to put that on cookies.  Don’t you judge me, you don’t know me!

And I’ve found I like some varieties of hot sauce. And Mexican rice. And the combination of those two is excellent. It burns, but it burns so good.  I tend to get carried away with the combination.

I also like buffalo sauce – though I suspect there are no actual buffalo involved.

But I still don’t like mustard – though I recently tried it on some pretzels.

And I don’t like peppers – though I tried one recently at my Dad’s suggestion. I got it down, but I was belching green pepper for hours afterwards. Horrible.

And onions. The most despised flavor of all. Not only are they bad, the flavor lingers on for hours and hours. Not fair to other flavors.

I avoid them whenever possible, but people still like to sneak them in. Like in green beans. What kind of a jerk-bag spoils perfectly good green beans with onions? I guess I answered my own question there – a jerk-bag.

What’s next? Maybe I need to give hummus another go…

I had to retire a fallen hero recently. My Speedo finally gave out.

I was not diligent enough in rinsing it out in non-chlorinated water after my swims and the pool water did a number on it over time. The last few times I swam with it on, the elastic in the back had failed enough that I had a droopy butt. I didn’t get a “wardrobe malfunction” out of it, but it was only a matter of time.

We put in a lot of miles in the pool together and I totally rocked that Speedo, but it was time. So, I took a photo and said my goodbye.

I switched back to a square-cut drag suit yesterday, but it wasn’t the same. I won’t go into the number of goggles I went through, but they don’t have the emotional impact anyway.

Goodbye, noble Speedo.  You will be missed.

I’ve worn glasses most of my life and other than brief times I’ve had contacts I’ve never been able to really appreciate throwing on a pair of sunglasses. When I got my most recent pair of prescription glasses they came with magnetic clip-ons. Which worked great until the magnets yanked them out of my pocket and onto the metal frame of my car door and I promptly closed the door on them.

Because that’s how I roll.

At the sunglasses hut, however, I found some spring-loaded replacement clip-on sunglasses that fit well enough. I wore those for quite awhile until I lost them – so, back to the hut for more.

I found the ones I needed – and perhaps the dorkist looking case – and went up to the counter. The transaction proceeded normally and I handed the clerk my card. She flipped over the card, glanced at the signature, and asked me for my middle initial.

And my brain shut down.

My initials are also my log-in at work. I’ve been here long enough I got a simple ID with no numbers – I was the first. And I type that set of initials over and over again throughout the day as I log into different applications. To the point where I don’t think about the individual letters – it’s just one entity.

If given some thought, I can separate out these out again, but I didn’t think. I just blurted out the first letter – “A” – which is clearly not my middle initial.

So, then she had to ask me for my ID – smugly. I handed it to her and with some petulance in my voice I told her that no one ever asks me that – and told her it was “W” once my brain started working again. She said she was just checking on me.

Really.

Because the first thing I would do if I stole a credit card would be to buy 12 dollar clip on sunglasses and a 2 dollar case. I’d skip the Oakleys for sure.

Thanks for locking up my brain and embarrassing me.

We finished the transaction and she mumbled something about a lifetime warranty.

I was so cross I didn’t even wear them out of the store into the bright sunshine. The dark cloud over my head was enough to block the light.