Category: Uncategorized Page 41 of 157

I had a really good swim this past Monday. I was fast, felt strong, and was really moving through the water. Felt… aquatic… and very much in the zone – if the zone in question was a water zone. Otherwise, not so much.

It’s funny. Took me until I was in my late 30’s – early 40’s to really feel like an athlete. Not that I’m ready or interested in competing – other than unofficially racing my slightly younger (not that THAT matters) co-worker. And it’s good that my fitness of choice is pretty cheap. Trunks, goggles, and a chamois (wow, did I spell that wrong the first time around) and I’m good to go.

Wednesday was less good in the pool. I wasn’t fast and wasn’t really feeling it – though I think I had good form. So, I didn’t swim well – but I looked good. I’ll hit the pool again tomorrow and see how that goes.

————-
Also on Wednesday, I had a memory glitch after my swim. I was standing at the locker in my speedo and goggles, dripping wet, and I grabbed my combination lock.

For just a moment, the numbers wouldn’t come up. That 3 number sequence – from a lock I’ve used for years – was simply not there. I had just enough time to attempt to switch into panic mode when suddenly it was there again. I ran the numbers on the lock and popped it open on the first try.

I’ve had moments like that before – and they usually last longer – but this time gave me pause.

It’s funny how much we rely on our memory and funny how unreliable it really is. We might remember a favorite toy (Bunn E. Rabbit) from childhood and forget what we had for lunch. Or remember lunch (chicken and rice) and forget an anniversary. I am, in particular, terrible with dates. If I can remember my own birthday – and perhaps my age without having to do the math – I count it a victory.

I was not stuck in my speedo for the day – though I would have WORKED that blue square-cut if that’s what it came down to – and for that I’m glad my memory rebooted.

———————

It’s been a long and stressful week. We still don’t have much in the way of news about our jobs, though unconnected bits and pieces seem to be filtering out. Fortunately, I’ve been crazy busy and it’s kept me occupied. I’ve been doing a lot of folding at home and I’ll have stuff to share soon.

So, time for bed and hopefully mild dreams – I’m too tired to fight zombies or repair the moon. You are all on your own.

On Friday, I was the “last man standing” for the webteam before the 3 day weekend. It was pretty quiet and kinda dark in the office when one of my colleagues brought the new VP around the building for a tour. The VP asked if I could help him with a file on the web. I said I could and followed him back to his office where he showed me the link and then emailed it to me. I went back to my desk, found and removed the file, and emailed him back. He thanked me, then asked if I had a copy of the new logo – I did, and sent it to him.

So, I think I made the right impression on the new guy. I also got some news that the layoffs may not be quite as dire for our division as I thought. A little hope, then, to kick off the weekend.
——————-

I did some work in the backyard on Friday to recess some paving stones in my lawn. I wanted a stable place for my sun chair and thought the stones would work well and look nice. I spent some quality time with a couple of shovels and a couple trashcans full of dirt. When I was done, it looked like had dug a really shallow grave behind my garage – like, 3 inches deep.  I’ll need to pull the pavers up and put down some gravel under them to level it out, but it got the job done for the time being. I was tired at the end, didn’t smell great, and my arm hurt – but felt I had filled my quota of day-off yard work.

——————
Another project was replacing the light fixture in my hallway. I got the breaker turned off, got all my tools together, and set to work – and it was a mess. The plaster under the old fixture and the covering over the old wiring came off in chunks and went all over the floor – I liberally punctuated the air with swearing. I managed to get the wires cleaned up and the new fixture installed – and it worked as soon as I turned the breaker back on. Didn’t even catch fire a little bit.

——————–

On Saturday morning, I was on the rack while ThunderCat lounged peacefully at my bare feet. He was purring and languidly reached out with a paw to rest on my foot. Awwww… so sweet. I was enjoying the bonding time when – from out of nowhere – he lashed out with his claws and dug into the meat of my right middle toe.

And would not let go.

When I finally dissuaded him from hanging on, I got the DVD paused and decided I needed to get the wound cleaned up. Supporting the rack with my right hand, I hobbled my way into the kitchen to clean up the bleeding.

He got me good.

I wrapped my toe in a paper towel and hobbled my way back to the couch to finish out my session. When I was done, I went upstairs to the bathroom to clean it out better and put a band-aid on.

I was a little cranky with him the rest of the day but, as usual, he didn’t care.
———————-
Went to a party on Saturday evening and to my surprise – and what should have been a surprise to everyone – I helped cook out on the grill. And made successful and positive contribution to the burgers, hotdogs, and the corn on the cob. I ended up eating a burger, a hotdog, 3 ears of corn, a cupcake, some fruit, and a slice of strawberry pound cake.

Oddly enough, I didn’t feel great after all that – though I did manage to do a little origami and successfully dodged the amateur fireworks and the bees they stirred up.

Overall, a very good party and a lot of fun.
—————–
Today, I made some hula hoops – because I had the tubing and the connectors.

And because never know when you might need a hula hoop. Or… five.  The tubing was much cheaper in bulk.
—————-

The good vibes from Friday have worn off and I’m starting to feel a little anxious about work again. Just gotta keep on keeping on and see what happens.

Time I think for a little reading and then bed. Let’s hope that weird nap I took today doesn’t throw me off.  And yeah, I napped.  Dunno why and I didn’t do a very good job at it, but I napped.

This all started waaay back in 1917 when my house was built. The construction materials used make it difficult now to get a cell signal inside my house.

[Seriously, people, plan ahead!]

Also, I’m pretty sure the Deep Water horizon drilling accident with BP is a factor.

Anyway, yesterday, I needed to make a call on my cell phone in order to activate my gas card – they changed companies and this required rebooting the universe – and my call dropped while I was sitting at my dining room table. (See? All connected.)

So, I figured I’d have better reception if I went outside and sat on my back porch. It wasn’t raining at the moment – weird, right? – and I figured it would only take me a few minutes anyway.

I got to the door, but before I opened it I saw that a stray cat was sitting there. A second, much smaller, cat came up and started nursing.

Ah, mama and baby. Still, I needed to go outside to get this call done.

I tapped on the window to let them know I was approaching and made eye contact with the mama cat.

Immediately, the kitten took off for the opening under the fence. The mama cat looked at me and did the small-stray-cat equivalent of a roar.

Now, I have no issue with public breast-feeding. As far as I’m concerned, whip it out and feed your baby. Whatever.

And I’m fine with sharing my back porch while said activity is going on, but don’t yell at me about it. Sheesh! It’s my house and I’ve already got one free-loading cat to deal with.

(honestly, ThunderCat does NOTHING around the house to earn his keep. He won’t even kill spiders.)

Somewhat cranky, I carefully opened the door so mama cat couldn’t come in and ThunderCat couldn’t go out.

As I opened the door, she took off after the kitten and I went on out to the porch to make my call.

Card activated, I went back inside. ThunderCat – who had missed the exchange as far as I could tell – gave me a look of “what are you doing-wait I don’t care” and wandered off to go upstairs and take a nap on my pants.

I suppose I could have just waited until they were done, but I didn’t like being trapped in my house by a stray cat that had arbitrarily decided to nurse on my porch.

And that was the highlight of my evening.
——————

The CareUniverse (not related to Care Bear Universe, I’m guessing) has been harassing me via email to enter the ‘patient portal’ for my doctor’s office. And recently they have gotten more…strident. So, today, I clicked on their damn link and entered. Though of course I first had to set up yet another ID and password – seriously, I’m so sick of those – and then add in a security question. Because reasons. When I finally got there, the “data” they were so insistent that I see consisted mainly of when my appointments had been and a note about my BMI putting me in the over-weight category. Nice.

I logged out, regretting the time wasted, and got a text on my phone from the CareUniverse thanking me for setting up an account. Now, I don’t have unlimited texts and the thought of an automated system spamming me makes me annoyed.

So, I logged back in and dug my way to the profile screen. I unchecked all the SMS boxes and clicked the Save button.

And it failed. This same screen allows one to also change your password. Actually, it insists. You can’t save the screen until you enter your old password – and a brand new password.

Yes, it’s that dumb. But just smart enough to not let me use the same password. So, I had to come up with yet another password just to save the settings to not get text messages. I did so and hit the save button – then logged out with a sense of relief.

A few moments later, I got a text from the Patient Portal thanking me for changing my password.

Nice.

Last night I had a multi-tasking dream. Espionage, aliens, a garage sale, a boat trip, climbing a tree, zombies, and time travel. I went back and forth between these dreamlets and many others before I finally dragged myself out of sleep. Really tired this morning and not looking forward to a day of multi-tasking at work. It was weird, I’m usually really on point when I dream. Defend the planet, rewrite history, destroy a sentient subway system – pretty basic stuff. This was all over the map.
————–

The recent rains – i.e. all summer – have brought back the slugs to my back porch. Huge ones – and as bright orange as sherbet.

Great.

Now I want orange sherbet and I’m also grossed out by the thought of eating it.

I’ve been observing them and have avoided touching any of them – that orange “stuff” is insidious.

I clearly have some issues with slugs and I’ve decided to start some aversion therapy on myself. I recently bought some fake banana slugs that claim to be sticky and slimy. I’m hoping that if I handle these in a controlled environment, I can work my way up to the real things – sometime before the summer ends and they go hide where-ever slugs hide for the winter.  Which, I suspect, is in the souls of innocents.

Note that I said the fake slugs “claim” to be sticky and slimy. I haven’t actually taken them out of the package yet.

Yeah.

So, we’ll see how that goes…
—————–

When I broke my arm, the muscles around the elbow got kinda messed up. That, along with not using that side for a long time, meant that my left hand has lost some strength.

And my physical therapist has been on my case about not working it enough.

Sigh.

So, I’ve been using some – and this is the real name – Power Putty. It’s essentially silly putty, but blue. And the blue must make it firmer – this is not your dad’s silly putty. No, this is industrial strength silly putty.

According to the packing, the Dark Blue (Medium) is one step down from the highest level – Firm (Dark Green).

I’ve been squeezing this a few times a day until the heat of my hand makes it too easy. It’s working – the PT was impressed at my progress – but boring. I haven’t used it to copy comics from the newspaper or modeled this into any obscene shapes. I just squeeze it, fold it over, and squeeze it again. Over and over.

I’m going to see if they’ll upgrade me next time I go in. Maybe with the Dark Green I’ll gain so much hand strength I’ll be able to crush a baseball.

HULK SMASH! Huh, maybe that’s why the firmest is Dark green…

—————–

Today is the second of the days we’ve speculated that layoffs may come. End of the fiscal year and all. So far, all is quiet.

The computer center had a minor flood, I had chicken and rice for lunch, and it’s pretty much a normal day here. If we don’t get any word today, then all bets are off and even the speculation breaks down.

Normal and strange – all in one day.

“In fearful day, in raging night,
With strong hearts full, our souls ignite.
When all seems lost in the war of Light,
Look to the stars – for Hope burns bright”

-Blue Lantern Oath

Seems fitting, this week, to throw on a blue power ring and spread some Hope around. We saw:

The condemnation of the Confederate flag – a symbol of bigotry and treason. Getting rid of the flag won’t change people and magically get rid of racism, but it gives those that would treat people differently by the color of their skin one less thing to hide behind.

Affordable health care – a chance to help people and be good to each other. Until the health care system can be fixed and made inherently more reasonable and affordable, helping people pay for their insurance seems like a great idea to me. Is the system perfect? No. But it’s better than one ruled by greed and financial attacks on those that can least afford it.

Gay marriage – the pursuit of happiness. That’s right out of the declaration of independence. Along with “all men are created equal”. Seems like would be pretty easy to follow – self-evident, even. 🙂 Everyone is equal and we’re allowed to try and be happy. There are no guarantees on the happiness part, but we are allowed to at least try.

I think that’s an important part of the gay marriage argument. People are equal and we should all be able to have the same chance to be happy – and that includes making a lifetime commitment to someone that we love. Why is that so damn complicated?

It’s not over, of course. Those that will put their beliefs and ideas ahead of the well-being of other people will certainly pop back up and argue that they are right and everyone else is wrong. And I’ll roll my eyes, bite my tongue, and shake my head.  And drop them from my news feed on facebook.

But for now, there is Hope.

—————–

On a more personal note, there is still Fear. We still do not have any word yet on who will be affected by layoffs at the university. My gift of thinking in probabilities turned against me Thursday night and every scenario I came up with was dark. It was well after midnight before I could quiet my head and drag myself through a fitful night of sleep.

At work on Friday morning – one of the days we’d guessed that the layoff might commence – I was literally sick with worry. And yet, I still shouldered on and got my job done. What else is there to do? And while I organized projects, built webpages, and helped people – there was Fear.

That I wouldn’t end the day with a job.

I don’t have any reason to believe that I’m more likely to be singled out and laid off. I work hard, I care about the students, and I get along with people. But I’m still anxious.

And that’s a weird feeling for me. I don’t get anxious much – pretty much only when I’m trying to get somewhere at a certain time and I’m not sure where I’m going. That’s about it. For everything else I quickly look at all the angles and figure out courses of action. Things line up, I pick a path, and I’m done.

But this isn’t working because I don’t have enough data. And so, Fear.

———————-

The house it quiet today and the rain is coming down. I’m going to log off and head for the basement to do some cleaning and organizing. I’ll surface at lunch time to see if the weather has changed, but even if it hasn’t, I may take myself for a walk.

And maybe clear my head a bit so I can enjoy the Hope.

My sister, brother-in-law, and their family were in town last weekend on their way to a camping trip. My house was a good stopping off point in their trip and they arrived Saturday afternoon. My nieces enjoyed the park and we went out to dinner that evening, then had dessert and played games while the girls watched cartoons. They stayed the night, had breakfast with me in the morning, then got on the road.

I think everyone had a good time and even ThunderCat was well behaved. When they left on Sunday, though, the house was so very quiet. Almost aggressively quiet. Not that my nieces are ill-behaved, but they are little and little kids are lively.

The quiet, along with it being Father’s day weekend, got me thinking about family. I like where my life is and the shape it has taken for the most part, but I wonder if I had shaped it to include kids of my own. There’s a little part of me that wonders if things had been different – would I have been a good dad?

It’s not that likely at this point in my life, but… what if?

Would I have the patience for 24/7 dad? Would I raise smart and kind children? I like to think I would. And I really enjoy being an uncle to my nieces and to the kids of my friends.

And it’s enough. Most of the time.

I talked to my Dad on Father’s day and went with Jim to visit his father’s grave. I know a lot of fathers and I respect what they do – and I think my brother-in-law is doing an awesome job.

And sometimes I wish for just a little bit more.

———————-
Work has been busy and stressful – and uncertain. The president announced recently that there would be layoffs. Not for cause, perhaps not tied to seniority or job title – just… arbitrary. A line item on the budget to be crossed off. Cold and cruel…there is really no other way to describe it.

I’ve been at the university for nearly 18 years and this is first time I’m afraid for my job. And at the moment, we don’t know anything – other than as many as 200 people may be affected. Or so the rumor goes.

So, we wait. And speculate. And worry. Will it be me? Will it be someone I know? What will I do? What will they do? Can I help? Can they help me?

I’m still putting in my 8 hours a day, still working hard to solve problems and help people, and dreading when we finally know.

Tomorrow I’ll be focused and working hard.

Tonight, though, I’m drifting.

You know those shadowy government types that reluctantly reveal documents and then redact information out of them until they are meaningless? I’m now one of them.

It started with a request by a former student that contacted a department on campus – their name was showing up on a document on our site as the result of a google search.

And they wanted it removed. The department contacted my boss who then assigned it to me. Based on their notes on where the reference lived, I located the offending PDF file and used the “redact” tool to draw a big black line through the name – removing it from the document and eventually from google once the index updates.

It was an odd request. There wasn’t anything about the entry that was defaming or inappropriate. Nothing that could be used against someone as far as I can tell. Nothing to really warrant removing it – which it why we didn’t fight it.

Even though it didn’t really mean anything, it still bothered me to go all “1984” on the file. Or not even that much – we didn’t change the past so much as draw a line through it. Crude, but effective, I guess.

I’m hoping this doesn’t start a trend – I’m busy enough adding information and don’t want to spend my time redacting it.

Though I will admit that I like the word. Redact. See, it’s fun to say even if it is kinda evil.

Redact.

This line has been redacted – sort of. The real thing would remove the text and what’s the point of going to the trouble of typing this if it’s really gone?  So, not really redacted, just kinda.

I signed up for the dollar shave club recently and got my first set of blades. They work pretty well – though the head is a little wide – and the price was good. I did notice two things:

1. I feel compelled to shave my face more frequently since I’ve got four blade heads in reserve and more on the way.

2. I’m never going to be able to keep up. Even shaving every other day is crazy frequent for me and the first blade head I’ve used looks brand new.

I guess I’ll just build up a stock pile and then cancel – and be set for years.

————-
The arm brace – aka “the rack” – has been helping with my mobility and I’m making good progress. The experience of actually using the device is still… well… miserable.

So, I took a bunch of pictures of the brace, annotated them, and put together some design suggestions.

Which is super-presumptuous. I’m not an engineer or a designer – I’m a computer guy. But I’ve got some experience in “user experience” and a flair for problem solving.

I converted the file to a PDF and emailed it to the company. That was yesterday and I haven’t heard back yet. And it’s likely that I won’t – after all, what do I know? But, I tried and that’s the important bit. Nothing that can be done about the rack I’ve got, but a new model might be able to incorporate some suggestions and someone else might not be so miserable.

I also took a copy of the notes to my physical therapist and she thought it was excellent – for whatever that’s worth. 🙂

I included my contact info in the email. At best, maybe they’ll have more questions. Or they’ll just ignore me. Eh. Again, I tried.
—————-

I’m been kicking ass – so to speak – in the pool. I never “officially” race my co-worker since that’s not what it’s about. Unofficially, though, we race every damn time we get in the pool. Every. Time.

On Monday, I was hauling ass in the pool and doing great – right up until the halfway point on my last lap. I got a huge stabbing pain – it literally felt like I had been stabbed in my elbow. I slammed to a halt a couple yards from the end of the lane and treaded water for a moment while I clutched my elbow. I kicked my way to the end and contemplated the return trip to shallow end. Certain I didn’t have the power to haul myself out of the pool yet, I rolled to my side and kicked off.

I reached across my torso to clutch my rigth side with my left hand with my right arm I dragged myself through the water with a one-armed side stroke. I made it back and from the shallow end I was able to get out of the pool. Not using my arm helped as did the hot shower and by the time I was back at the office it was fine.  Ish.

On Wednesday, it hit me again in the pool. Not as bad and I recovered with a minute or two of rest. My PT said it’s not something to worry about as long as it doesn’t last.

But, still, a little scary.

I’ll be glad when I’m back to “normal” – or as close as I can expect to get.

I’ll also be glad when the rain stops around here and my basement stops flooding. But…. Ohio.

’nuff said.

On Saturday morning, I got up super early and drove to a campground to spend some time with my family. The GPS did a good job, right up until it decided I need to turn “RIGHT NOW” down a road that did not exist. It was fine with the next road, but started to freak out again and I turned it off and just followed the signs.

I got to the campground before anyone was awake and waited until folks started moving around a bit. We had breakfast, played with a giant bubble maker, and road bikes for a bit. I had a few small gifts for my Dad for an early father’s day – then off to the playground and ice cream on the way back.

We were sitting around and chatting for a bit, then the thunder started to sound. We got all the gear under cover as the rain started and then, curiously, it did not stop. So, dinner was under the canopy and so was dessert and also the clean up and the rain just kept coming down. We emptied the canopy a few times as pockets filled up with water.

My sister and brother-in-law cleared some space in their camper so we could get out of the rain and play games.

While were playing, there was a sudden crash from outside. Looking out the windows we saw an animal had pulled down the water-logged trash bag. Here’s what happened:

I rushed outside and confronted the beast. It was enormous, nearly as wide as the camper and filled with rage at being disturbed. I brandished my weapon – glowing with an eldrich light – and charged forward, shouting a war cry as I flung myself into battle.

The creature responded with a roar, fire and acid pouring from its fang-lined mouth in turn. I shouted again and it retreated a step, wary of my aggressive posture. Another step back and then it surged forward again – intent on my destruction.

But I would not be cowed. My family, nay, civilization depended on me and my next actions would shape the course of destiny. I raised my weapon and drove it back into the darkness, hissing and sputtering in impotent rage.

I stared into the darkness, into the abyss of its absence, and the abyss stared back into me.

From the perspective of my family, it looked to them like a raccoon got into the trash and I chased it off a couple of times while holding a glow stick.

But it was a big raccoon. Seriously.

With the rain stopped and the crisis averted, I brushed my teeth and went to bed in a tent.

I was up early the next morning – having not slept well and needing to use the bathroom – and waited until the rest of the crew was up. We hung out a bit, packed up the gear, and headed out.

Again, my GPS played games with me and sent me on a short, but extra wild, goose chase before settling down and directing me home.

A good trip, despite the rain and the wildlife. I think my Dad enjoyed the early father’s day celebration and I know my nieces had fun too.

Next time, I’ll try to document the raccoon if it comes back.

Seriously, it was huge.

I have developed allergies.

I don’t really know when it happened, but this spring/summer has been inconsistently terrible. I’ve been sneezing a lot and I think I’m about 23% mucus at the moment – trending upward.

And last night I was so miserable I took an allergy pill before I went to bed. Which I think would somewhat explain the dream I had.

Earth was being invaded by a hostile alien force. They had been hiding underwater and built a huge ship to transport human captives back to their homeworld. I figured out what they were doing and forced their timetable forward. While masters of the electromagnetic spectrum, their reliance on that technology was their undoing. I organized the disruption of their communications, led the attack on their main vessel, captured one of the scouts in my cell phone (it was really ticked off), and – when the transport ship rose above the water – I forced my way on board and got 20,000 people evacuated in 6 hours.

It was exhausting and I woke up more tired than when I went to bed. And the allergy pill? Well, as Marilyn Manson would say in his song, “I don’t like the drugs, but the drugs like me,”

That allergy pill wanted to pull me back into bed and cuddle. I fought my way out of its embrace and dragged my sorry ass into work.

I’m still a little hazy, but I’m hoping the diet coke and pop tarts – and a swim a little later – will wake me up enough to get me through the rest of the day.