Category: Uncategorized Page 23 of 153

I got a notice from the gas company that I needed to have my indoor meter checked. I needed to call and schedule an appointment prior to the end of May – or my gas would be cut off.

I was cross about the threat – and then worried when I misplaced the notice and phone number before I called. I got a second notice, made an appointment with the most disengaged customer service I’ve even encountered, and planned to be at home on the day of the appointment. Which was yesterday – from 4 to 8 pm.

I left work a little early so I’d be there in case they actually showed up at the beginning of the window – and started waiting.

At 6:20, I finally got the automated call that they were on their way over. At 6:30 the technician arrived. I met him at the door and escorted him to the basement with the well lit and cleared path to the meter.

He had a box with a sensor wand on the end that he waved around the meter for about 45 seconds before he declared it done. I walked him back upstairs and he was on his way.

So, 2 and a 1/2 hours of waiting (could have been much more, i guess) and then 45 seconds of actual work. Is this really the best system for this? Really?

Sigh.

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Thunder(cat) has been enjoying the open windows and the increased duties as a neighborhood watcher. He’s been a bit more playful and I decided to give him a treat. About 2 minutes after he scarfed it down and determined that he wasn’t getting a second one, I found him in the living room trying to turn himself inside out.

Now, having a cat as a room-mate involves a certain amount of vomit. I accept that it happens – either food or hairball (thankfully, those are rare), but something about that tiny treat did not sit well with him and he put his whole body into throwing that up – along with perhaps everything he’d ever eaten.

It looked really painful and was a horrible sound, but once he got that treat up he was pretty much okay. I cleaned up the mess and although he doesn’t know it yet – that was his last treat.

Sorry, bro.

———————-

I have decided that databases are dumb. They mostly work when you are trying to catalog things – like books or widgets – but they have trouble with the very changeable human element.

I’ve been getting letters from the Human Right Campaign at my house – with Jeff’s name on them. I’d let my membership lapse a while back and somehow their database mixed my address with Jeff’s name.

It’s not a big deal, I guess, but it makes me a little sad every time one of these come in. Today, I went to their website and tried to find a form that would match the situation and failing that – finally tracked down an email address.

I sent the note, got the automated “we’re working on it” response, and moved on.

Again.

I still think about him often and it doesn’t hurt so much anymore – just, you know, kinda sad.

Once this mailing list is cleared up I’ll consider renewing my membership again. I kinda doubt the effectiveness of the organization, but it seems like the thing to do.

—————-

Time to get some dinner and run some errands. And maybe sit outside and read if the wind settles down.

I have a couple of examples of emails I’ve gotten recently that make me question the very nature of human communication.

The first was a message sent to the webmaster@uakron.edu email via the Contact Us form:

“looking for in working with our stem students in the cleveland ohio please contact via email”

Plenty of English words there, but perhaps not quite enough. Throw in “help” and “area” and you get close to a sentence. Though what kind of “help” this professor from another college was asking for was still unclear. Yes, we looked him up.  And no, his follow up emails didn’t make any more sense.

The next was in response to the email announcing to the undergraduate students that their student government constitution ratification ballot was now open:

“ok thank you passed late me if need us be done or sing up ilove to ass will hlape polpe ok halpe aorn ohio ”

I did not respond to this one.

With some work, a few words may be translated. “sing up” suggests “sign up”. “hlape polpe” could be “help people” – and then “ok halpe aorn” could be “or help Akron”

The rest… I’ve got nothing. Even the most egregious of texting errors can’t fully explain this note from a student at 9 am on a Monday morning.
Now, I’m sure you could find plenty of errors in my communications – but none so far as to render the message unobtainable.

I printed out the second email as “the least comprehensible email I’ve ever gotten – including spam” and it will serve as a reminder that some things just make no damn sense.

———————-

I think I’ve mentioned before that my house it somewhat dry and I frequently build up a static charge. To protect my electronics, I’ve taken to touching the pull chain from my ceiling fan in my living room to discharge the lightning before touching the playstation controller.

I was watching a DVD today and got up to check on dinner. I reached up to the pull chain, anticipating the zap – but this time, in addition to the lightning bolt at my fingertip, I also felt a tingle down the back of my leg.

And, several feet away on the arm of the couch, my playstation controller paused the DVD.

I didn’t touch it at all and wasn’t even near it. But I affected it when I grounded myself from across the room.

Weird.

It’s a good thing I didn’t shuffle my feet or I might have killed my next door neighbor.

And, knowing me, I’m going to end up a super-villain. So, sorry, in advance.

Not long after I got out of college, I moved into a house with a fraternity brother and his friends. I didn’t have a lot of furniture and my fraternity brother offered me the use of a dresser while I was there. It wasn’t fancy but I didn’t need much and it did the job. He let me take it with me when I moved out and I kept it years – moving it with me from apartment to apartment and finally to my house.

My house has plenty of space and storage and I found I didn’t really need the dresser anymore. It was still in okay shape, but turned into a catch-all in my office and was taking up a lot of room.

So, I decided to get rid of it on Wednesday evening.

In the cities I’ve lived in, setting out items on the curb on trash night puts them at fair game for the folks that drive around and gather those things to either re-use, re-sell, or – sadly – add to a horde somewhere.

The dresser was on the second floor of my house and after taking the drawers out, I slowly and carefully moved it into the hallway, down a half-flight of stairs, around a corner, and then down the rest of the steps, across the living room, out the front door and onto the porch, then down the concrete steps and across the yard and out to the grass at the curb. I set it on an old towel on the grass, put the drawers back in, and put a “Free” sign on it. Then I took out the rest of the trash and finished mowing the lawn.

A little later, while I was eating dinner and watching a DVD, I heard a noise and realized my neighbor was out by the dresser looking it over.

I went out and confirmed that “yes” it was free. And that I’d be happy to help him move it over to his house. He said that he’d been looking for a dresser for his son’s room and this would be perfect.

We took the drawers back out to move it, then carried it over to his garage – he said his son would help take it inside later. As I brought the last of the drawers over, it started to lightly rain – which wouldn’t have been good for the dresser and made it less useful.

So, just the right amount of timing and coincidence and the dresser I didn’t need anymore got re-purposed and put to good use.

———————-

I had to work a little late yesterday – something that rarely happens in my job. The Graduate Student Government elections were set to close at 5, so I stayed late to shut down the online polls and tabulate the results.

Such as they were.

The elections were supposed to be for a President and Vice-President and a Treasurer. There was one set of Pres/VP running and no one for Treasurer. So, it was something of a moot point. Provided that the presidential candidate voted for himself, they would win.

I think this is the point that the current president was trying to make when she suggested that she just appoint her successors instead of having an election.

She was over-ridden by the graduate school and the office of student life – to my relief. It troubled me that an election process could be subverted by… disinterest.

If that organization no longer needs to exist, then so be it. It should be dissolved by the decision of the student body. If they want to change the parameters so that the president appoints a successor – then again, the student body should decide that.

In the absence of those decisions, we had our ballot and our election. And I followed the parameters of the election as carefully as I could – because I think it matters.

A few weeks ago had been the Undergraduate Student Government elections and next week will be a vote on their revised constitution.

—————-

In lighter news…

Jim and I were out getting some dinner and running errands last evening – and I knew he had been struggling with a rough week.

So, hoping to cheer him up, I told him about a new word I had accidentally made up.

I had been trying to explain the behavior of some of our users to one of my colleagues at work and was trying to come up with “shenanigans”

However, it got hung up in my head and the word “anagram” nearly came out. At the last moment, I inadvertently mixed the two and what emerged was:

“shenaniganagrams”

Which is awesome. Go ahead and say it out loud.

My co-workers didn’t really catch me say this and we moved on. I tried to share this with Jim, but I cracked myself up and as soon as I got this new word out I started laughing so hard I wasn’t making any noise and my eyes started to water.

While I struggled to get control of myself, Jim looked around to see if anyone was watching – or perhaps he was looking for the exit.

Well, at least I enjoyed it.

shenaniganagrams

Feel free to work that into your vocabulary. By the way, you should google anagram – the “did you mean?” is pretty silly.

—————————

It’s been a quiet day here and I think it’s time to crack open a new book and maybe work on some laundry.

I had a dream the other night that I was at a conference with Angela Merkel, the Chancellor of Germany. She was presenting a resolution to the UN suggesting that people that had committed murder or other violent crimes in their home country should not be allowed to be an ambassador to the UN.

After her presentation, she came over and asked me what I thought. I replied,

“Well, I would like to think that if a person had paid their debt to society they should then have the same rights as any other citizen, but I see your point about them having questionable judgement – so, I guess it’s given me something to think about,”

She nodded. “And that’s really what I was hoping to do – give people something to think about,”

And then I woke up. No idea what prompted that dream or what it was about – but she seemed nice.

———————–

I’ve finally gotten around to reading Stephen King’s “Under the Dome”. It was… ok. I kind of expected more from the 1,072 pages, but it less about the horror of the situation of being trapped in a dome and cut off from the world – and more about how quickly people can go from “kinda of an asshole” to “full blown assholerly”. And that’s really what it mostly about. A few good people and bunch of assholes led by an even bigger asshole.

Hmmm… where have we seen that before?

Anyway, it was okay but I’m not likely to read it again. It’s going on the “sell to half-priced booked for a pittance, but at least feel good about putting a book back into circulation so other people can enjoy it” pile.

I have very specific piles and shelves for my books.

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I was at my computer in my office at home last evening and looked out the window to the roof over my patio in my backyard. I noticed some birds hanging out near the edge, then one of them vanished and came back up in a splash of water.

Ummm… yeah, gutters aren’t supposed to work like that.

I went out to investigate and sure enough, the gutter was full of leaves and water – and the opening to the downspout was blocked.

All the rest of the gutters on the house have a cover – except, oddly, the one that is easy to reach. If you’re going to cover the gutters, why not just do all of them?

So, I got some gloves, a bucket and a ladder and got the gutter cleared out before I lost the light.

Even though the leaves were kinda gross and decayed – and the water smelled pretty bad – I didn’t really mind doing the job of cleaning it out. It was a simple job and easy enough to do – would that all our tasks were that straight-forward and easy to resolve.

I sprayed it down with a hose for good measure and checked to make sure the water was draining to the street properly before I put my tools away and headed inside.

This evening I stopped at Lowe’s and got a plastic mesh cover that should do the job and I’ll get that put in place one of these days.

———————————
It’s been a quiet evening and the windows are open to cool breezes. Time for a cup of tea and good book on the porch.

Waaaaay back in the day, when I was still a student assistant working for the UA Telecommunications department, I worked with a woman named June. Her husband Rod was the director for IT at the time and Telecom was an auxiliary that worked closely with IT. It made for some confusing org charts at the time, but it was notable that the manager for Telecom didn’t really get along with June. It was one of those things, you know?

Being a helpful person, I made it a point to help keep June on track and smoothed over any friction between her and the manager. It made her work days a little easier and I think she appreciated it.

Having an interest and aptitude with computers, I applied for a full time position with IT on the HelpDesk. On the day of my interview, Rod called me up and asked if I wanted a ride across campus from the Lincoln building to the Computer Center. I thanked him, but said I was planning on just walking over – no need to make a special trip.

“How about I give you a ride anyway?” he said, and I shrugged (which he couldn’t see on the phone) and agreed.

On the ride over, he told me who I would be interviewing with, what questions to expect, and advice on how to handle the trick questions that one of the managers was sure to spring on me.

I was a little surprised by this, but realized I’d already gathered a good reputation with IT while still a student – and he wanted to see my succeed. I suspect his wife put in a good word for me as well.

The interview went well – and I picked a different route with the trick question and still did okay. And thus began my full time job with the computer helpdesk for the University of Akron.

A few years later, Rod was re-organizing the computer center and called me up. I’d worked in a couple different areas and he asked me what I wanted to do next.

“Well,” I said, “I like working on the website, so maybe the webteam?”

And, like that, I was on the webteam. My new boss was a little skeptical, but I soon found my niche and became a productive part of the team.
Fast forward to today and we’ve got a gap in the switchboard schedule this morning. I’m in a dress shirt and tie for the Service Awards this afternoon and answering calls for the university solo from the switchboard office in the Lincoln building.

A call comes in and has Rod’s name on the display. When I answer, I recognize June’s voice when she asks to be transferred to Benefits.

“Is this June?” I ask and when she says yes – with some puzzlement in her voice – I identify myself and ask her how she’s doing. She recognizes me and we chat for a moment before I transfer her call.
How strange that, on the day I get my 20 year service award, I talk to one of the people who helped me get started? June and Rod have both long since retired and it was so random that she would call today and I’d be on the phones for that one hour to answer.

Humans tend to made connections and associations even when there is no correlation. But it was a neat little circle there and I’m glad that connection happened.

I got my certificate later in the afternoon for 20 years – and surprised myself with being a bit nostalgic.

I got a request from my cousin not long ago to participate in a project for her daughter’s second grade class. They are learning about the “50 Nifty States” and she asked if I could write about Ohio.

Of course, I said yes.

I got the letters from the teacher – and one of my favorite second graders – a couple days ago and set to work. They wanted to know interesting things about Ohio, our weather, and what crops we grow here. I did a little research and put together a response. I’ll drop it in the mail tomorrow morning on the way to work, but I have a link to an online version.

It was fun to do and I hope they enjoy it.

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I’m often referred to as weird, silly, eccentric, or – my favorite – whimsical, but when it comes right down to it, I’m actually really practical. Especially when it comes to large purchases. Ok, yes, I did buy a pointer hand today when I was at Staples, but the comedy opportunities are well nigh endless and I couldn’t pass it up. I mean, you start with nose-picking and go from there – the sky is the limit.

But the big stuff always gives me pause.

I really “want” a laptop. Just think, I could blog FROM ANYWHERE! Well, anywhere with WiFi. But I don’t really “need” a laptop. I have a very nice desktop in my office at home – and a somewhat crappy desktop at work. I don’t need another computer.

I also really “want” a playstation 4. I really don’t need this – I mean, I really don’t need this. My playstation 3 works just fine and while I’m more of a PC gamer at this point it also plays movies just fine. But, oh, a playstation 4… I just want to rub up against one. But not in a weird way.

So, conflict in my head. A lot of conflict. I’ve price shopped and compared features on both of these many times – but haven’t gone ahead with either. The practical side will keep winning until the parameters change – i.e. my playstation breaks or I get a syndicated writing column and/or my desk computer breaks. Eh, two of out of three…

And while that practicality is kinda boring, my bills are paid. And that feels pretty good too.

Not as nice as rubbing up against a new playstation 4 – again, not in a weird way – but still pretty nice.

The University of Akron holds a Service Awards reception each year for employees that have reached a milestone – 5, 10, 15, etc.  – year with UA.

One of the committees I’m on volunteered to help this year and I was asked to prepare the powerpoint that will play in the background, listing all the names of the recipients.

To my surprise, I’m on the list. I started full time at UA in August of 1997 and figured I’d get my certificate next time around. I’m in my 20th year, but I haven’t really finished my 20th – more like 19 and 7/12 years.  Or something.  I did a little math, but didn’t really care about the result. It looks good, anyway.

But, according to Human Resources and their vaguely inaccurate reckoning, I’ve been at the University of Akron for 20 years.

20 years.

It’s a little tough to wrap my head around. I started out on the computer help desk, moved to client support, then a brief stint in the computer store, then lab support before moving to the webteam. And no, we didn’t use punch cards when I started in computers – though I was on an early Mac with a CRT screen connected to a mainframe for a while.

Over the years the job, and most of the people, have changed. Some things are better and some are worse, but mostly things are just things.

I haven’t lost that excitement over helping our students. That might take the form of teaching someone how to use the online survey tool, setting up an e-commerce site for a student group, running an election, or writing a letter of recommendation for a student employee.  And, as as side note, one of my student employees just turned 21.  She was 1 year old when I started at UA.

I like solving problems and helping people and so the job doesn’t get old. There’s always something new to do and I’m happiest when I’m busy. I get cranky and frustrated too, sometimes. Mostly when I have to solve a problem more than once or I’ve got a problem that can’t be solved – but I’m mostly happy with my job. And I realize how lucky I am in that regard.

So, next week I’ll attend the reception. I’ll have my name read aloud and shake hands with some people. There may be a photo op with Zippy and I’ll get a certificate – that I’ll keep with the 5, 10, and 15 years ones I still have. In another 10 years, I’ll get a rocking chair and…

Okay, let me stop right there for a moment. The gift that the University gives people at 30 years of service is a rocking chair. Because, by that point, you’ll be so damn old that you sitting around in a chair and rocking slowly back and forth will seem like a good time.

Or, you can get the Captain’s chair that is essentially a rocking chair that doesn’t rock. I guess rocking in a chair is too much for some people.

How about a laptop? Or a skateboard? I’d love to learn how to shred at 54. Or a skydiving trip? Or a freaking shark with a laser?

Nope, rocking chair. I’ll have a listing on Ebay so fast there won’t even be time to unpack it.

But, I digress.

20 years of being “quietly awesome” and saving the damn day, every day.

I dare you to keep up.

I got a text from Jim this evening inviting me to an impromptu art show and artist discussion for his class. I wasn’t busy so I headed back to campus and over to the art school.

I got there just in time for the professor to call on Jim to talk about his art – he pointed me out as his collaborator on the origami for the books and we got some cool photos. It was pretty neat to see the other students’ work as well and to hear about their creative process.

I like to push the boundaries on paper folding with materials, size, and scope – and it was really excellent to see some humble paper fish and butterflies to be part of something bigger.

And the parent of one of the students wants to buy one of Jim’s books! He said he’d think about and has plans for another project. Looks I need to limber up my hands – we’ve got some more folding to do.

Here are the photos of the projects – I’ll try to get some shots of the gallery at some point too.

Goldfish | Butterflies

Today is day 8 of the antibiotics… and I’m still not feeling great. Still got all the symptoms to a lesser degree and while its not slowing me down I just feel… ugh.  And this has been since 3/21/17 at 1:45 pm.  Yes, I kept track.

At one point, after a blast of a honey/lemon throat spray – which tastes like neither – I coughed up something that looked like it might have been an independent life form. It went down the drain of the sink before I could investigate and I’m guessing it’s just as well.

Two more days of antibiotics and then we’ll see how I’m doing. I’m still about 60% mucus and hoping to get that number down.

—————————-

I had a dream a few nights ago that I was doing some gardening and needed to protect the new plants from been eaten by deer. I was at a store trying to narrow it down between two products:

The first didn’t have a name – it was a spray that you put on the plants to make the deer throw up. It cautioned that deer vomit would kill your grass, but it would recover quicker than the plants.

The second was called BioLock and had a picture of a deer with a padlock above its head. Except that wasn’t just some kind of marketing thing – the product consisted of a set of padlocks on strings that you were supposed to hang above the plants. The deer would bonk their heads on the padlocks when trying to eat the plants and would get scared and run off. Naturally.

I was trying to decide between the two when I woke up. I’d blame the cold medicine, but this is just kinda the way my head works.

——————–

The UA of School of Social Work wants to make me an Honorary member of the Phi Alpha Honor Society. A sort of Honorary honorary. Not sure if that cancels out or doubles, but I may know more at the induction ceremony in a few weeks.

It’s a little odd – I’m not a social worker (my degree is in HR) and I’m not part of their department, but this is just their way of saying thank you – and that they appreciate the work that I’ve done for their department and students over the years.

There’s a dinner and an awards presentation – I’m planning on wearing a tie. Like I said, a little odd, but kinda nice too.

———————

Jim and I have been collaborating on a couple of art projects. For his class he had to destroy/re-purpose an old book and had the idea of incorporating origami. So, we found some old books at a thrift store, cut out some pages, and I folded butterflies for one and goldfish for the other. The butterflies are mostly unpainted, except for the last few he’s got escaping from the book – and those are done in a bright blue. The fish are pouring out of another book and they are bright orange when they escape.

He did a great job on the design and I’ll post pictures of both soon.

We underestimated how many fish he would need – we started with 25 – and last evening was a rush job to do 30 more. And 10 more tonight. Fortunately, I’m crazy fast once I’ve really learned a model and I ended up folding them faster than he could glue them to the book.

Pretty cool to get to share in an art project and I think they’re turning out really well.

I got up bright and early for my doctor’s appointment this morning and got to their office plenty early. Got checked in and had my insurance card at the ready – because I have my shit together.

I didn’t have to wait long before I saw the doctor and we were done even before my official appointment time. I’ve got a sinus infection and I got a prescription for some antibiotics.

I paid my co-pay on the way out the door and in the car I checked to see when the nearby drugstore opened. 8:00 am. It was quarter til 8, so I went over to starbucks for some tea and a cookie to kill some time, then on to pick up the prescription.

Except, the pharmacy wasn’t open til 9.

Oh, the store itself was open and if I needed to get tampons or the latest issue of Hunting and Fishing I would have been fine- but I was out of luck.

I grumbled a bit as I went back to the car and then on into work. I got an automated call at 9:30 to tell me my prescription was ready (thanks, jerks) so I went back at 11 (when I usually get lunch) to pick it up.

With antibiotics and lunch, I went back to work again and ate. The directions on the bottle said this:

“Take 2 Tablets by Mouth Every Day With Food”

Now, there are a variety of ways to get pills in one’s body and “by mouth” was the best of the available options – so, yea! – but it was a little unclear.

Is that “one pill at lunch and one at dinner?” or “two pills at lunch”?

I couldn’t find any other instructions so I called the drugstore for clarification. After sitting on hold for a bit, I finally talked to someone in the pharmacy who listened to me and then had me wait for the pharmacist. More hold music…

I explained my question again and they said that the doctor really should have explained that better – could go either way.

So, I hung up and called the doctor’s office.

Except, they are closed from 11:45 to 12:45. I waited on the line through the recording to see if I could leave a message and someone picked up. Cool! I started to explain the question – then realized it was the answering service. Who politely suggested I call back after 12:45.

So, I called back at 1 and slogged through the voice-mail prompts – and finally talked to a person. I explained, again, my question and the staff person put me on hold. They came back to re-ask what I wanted, then put me on hold again. I finally talked to a physician’s assistant who confirmed “2 at once”.

By this point, lunch was long done. I decided to wait until dinner tonight to start.

As a fun side note, the summary of my visit to the doctor included a note – based on my weight and height – that my Body Mass Index indicates I need to watch my weight.

Not something the doctor and I talked about, but apparently their computer thinks I’m fat.

And I’ve got a couple of little old ladies from New York that would agree with it.

So, tonight at dinner, I’m having dessert.