Category: Uncategorized Page 22 of 153

As I was checking my mail recently, I noticed a package on my porch. I was a little puzzled since I didn’t have any pending orders and when I picked it up I saw it had my address – but was addressed to my cat.

Curious, I took it inside and opened it up. It was a brush in the shape of a giant tongue with knobs on one end. The other end was a flat piece of rubber.

When I read the instructions I saw that the human in question was supposed to grip the flat piece in their mouth and then use the brush to lick their cat.

After all, cats like to lick humans as a sign of affection so it stands to reason that they would like it back.

The note in the package didn’t identify who it was from and I was really puzzled. Not “who would send me something like this?” but rather “Of all the mischievous and odd people I know, which of them would have sent this?”

It’s a surprisingly big list.

And, naturally, because I’m… well… me, I had to try it out.

The next time Jim was over, I asked him to get a video of the first attempt. If you haven’t seen it already, here you go:

https://www.facebook.com/anthony.serpette/videos/vb.543217166/10154447269047167/

Yeah, wow.

I did a little detective work and tracked it back to my former co-worker – and then his wife confessed it “might” have been her idea.

Really, though, it could have been any of a number of people and I wouldn’t have been surprised. I have some strange and fun and awesome friends.

The jury is still out on if my cat liked it, but he was licking me back and I guess that counts for something.

I had a deeply frustrating day at work yesterday. No matter how I try to help and explain things, my users seemed determined to go some other – strange and wrong – direction. I kept finding myself opening the cabinet in my office to stare longingly at the vampire stake I keep there for emergencies.  You can never be too careful.

Fortunately, I needed to head across campus on an errand and knew the walk would do me good. I was walking past my building when I noticed irises growing in a small flower garden.

I stopped, leaned over, and breathed deeply.

Suddenly, the smell of the flowers triggered an intense memory. In my head, with perfect holographic clarity, I was back at my great-grandmother’s little house in Mackinaw, Illinois. She was proud of her garden and spent a lot of time growing the most beautiful and fragrant flowers in town. Every detail from what would have been over 30 years ago and two states away was suddenly as vivid as if I’d been back there at that time and at the place.

It was gone in another instant.

It’s been said that smell is the most powerful evoker of memories, but I guess I hadn’t had one hit me so strongly before.  I was there – as surely as I’m now sitting at my desk typing at my computer.

I stood back up and headed on my way.

The quality of my interactions with humans didn’t get any better, but things were a little sunnier in my head for the rest of the day.

Jim is taking an independent study class and had to meet with his professor this past Friday evening. I had left work early with an allergy attack, but took some medicine and was feeling well enough to go along with him. The professor’s office was near Cleveland heights and I waited in the lobby with a book while Jim had his meeting.

I was getting a little hungry and suggested Mellow Mushroom when he was done. Jim, having seen me when I’m “hangry” suggested Legacy Village since it was closer. We decided on the California Pizza Kitchen – unless it was busy.

The rainy weather had scared off the crowds and the restaurant wasn’t busy at all. We got seated right away and I had a view of the kitchen.

As we were looking over the menus, I thought I recognized someone working in the kitchen, but they were gone before I could be sure.

The waiter took our order and left. I saw the familiar person again a little later and stopped our waiter as he was going past.

“Is Larry Barnett working in the kitchen this evening?”

“Yes, he is – would you like me to…” the server replied and I interrupted to explain so he wouldn’t think there was a problem.

“He was my room-mate about a hundred years ago,”

The waiter laughed and headed back to the kitchen.

I overheard him talking to someone behind the counter, heard “one hundred years”, heard a laugh – and then Larry comes out of the kitchen with a huge grin on his face.

I stood up as he approached and asked, “What up, fool?” with a matching grin.

We shared a big hug, introduced Jim, and starting talking.

And though we hadn’t parted on exactly good terms and it had years and years since I’d seen him, we fell right back into where we had been. The same jokes, the same speech patterns – just like old times.

Our pizza arrived and Larry shook his head. “Should have known – pepperoni”

I’m a creature of habit.

He gave me his number to put in my phone – surprised that I not only had a cell phone, but that I texted too. He laughed when he saw that I put it under Batman.  Another old joke.

He headed back to the kitchen and we ate our meal. When we were done, the waiter came over and told us that Larry had taken care of the bill.

When he stopped by, I thanked him and reminded him of when I had brought my family into a restaurant where he worked and he paid for all the meals – except my sister’s since she was wearing an OSU shirt.

“She was always mean to me,” he said, “And this is me we’re talking about,”

We promised to contact each other and get together to catch up. I’m going to text him and we’ll grab a bite to eat one of these days.

What a strange series of coincidences and timing that made that this unexpected reunion work out.

I told Jim I was going to blog the hell out of that and found myself grinning all the way home – like I’d just found a treasure again.

I was at my desk this morning and heard the calls to the switchboard start to pick up. So, I threw on my headset, logged in, and took a couple calls to help them catch up.

One of those started out simply enough. A woman said she had a couple of questions and asked if I could help her. I said I could and the first was an easy one – “how did she get her transcripts?” The answer: The Office of the Registrar – and I gave her the number without having to look it up – (330-972-8300).

The second was about the commencement videos from 2016. While I was looking this up on the website, she explained that 2016 was when her son graduated UA – and that he died four days later. She said that she had been meaning to find the commencement video for a while and she had the pictures, but… And she trailed off.

I teared up immediately and told her that I was so very sorry for her loss. I managed to locate the site and gave her the address and how to order a DVD.

She thanked me for my help and we ended the call. I logged off and sat quietly for a moment.

All that effort. All the work and sacrifice. All the potential. A kid who had just gotten through college and now… just gone.

I can’t even imagine what she had gone through and what she was still going through.

I’ve met only a small fraction of the students that have attended UA in the 20 years I’ve been here. And the ones I’ve met, I rarely get to know very well.

And yet, they are ours. Our students. We guide them, we teach them, we help them. They matter – they all matter.

And there’s a feeling of a job well done as each new group walks across the graduation stage and out into the world. Having just recently helped with a ceremony, well, it hit me pretty hard to hear about her son.

I helped her as best I could, with deeply sincere sympathy, and I hope that she gets something positive out of that video – and that it doesn’t hurt her more than she’s already been hurt.

It clouded my day today and I’m going to keep thinking about her and her son.

Last Tuesday, I headed to the pool after work. It had been a while since I swam, but I wanted to see how I would do.

The good news: I still fit into my swim trunks and I looked fairly reasonable. I did a 1/2 mile in 40 minutes and didn’t drown.

The bad news: My arm hurt with ever single stroke through the water. And it hurt when I stopped to rest between laps.
I recovered quickly when I was done and when I went back on Thursday I was able to shave a little time off, but I’m not the swimmer I once was. I’m hoping to slowly build back up to a full mile and more times a week – but it hurts and that’s a bummer.

————————-

This past weekend was a father’s day camping trip with my folks, my sister, and her family. I got to the campground early on Saturday morning and helped a little with breakfast. My nieces and I rode bikes and went to the playground, then we had lunch and went to lake and the beach. I got a little sunburned, but not bad. Back to the campsite for dinner and games and smores – then an early night. I helped them pack up on Sunday morning and then headed home.

It was hot and muggy at the campsite and I thought I was prepared to deal with the mosquitoes. The repellent I had did keep them off – but attracted bees. Like, all the time. When I added another kind of repellent, the bees left me along, but the mosquitoes attacked again. I was staring to hate on bugs in general, but as I was trying to settle into sleep on Saturday night, I looked out the window of the tent…

…And the trees were full of lightning bugs. Hundreds and hundreds of them, all flashing their lights in the darkness. It was pretty amazing – and a reminder to keep our eyes and perspectives open.

Thunder(cat) is back home and mostly back to his old self. He’s not quite as quick when running around the house, but he’s jumping on things and intensely observing the neighborhood.

He’s also back to his old approach to belly rubs. When he was sick, he was too tired to put up any kind of response to contact and would pretty much just lay there.

Now, though, we’re back to the danger zone. The belly rubs must be carefully timed. Too much, and he wants to end it. Too short, and he wants it to continue. Either way, the claws come out to enforce his will and my reflexes are no longer up to par.

He’s nailed me a couple times – enough to draw blood. Not a lot, mind you, and a little cleanup with soap, water, and hand sanitizer gets me back in the game.

Jim thinks my cat and I are co-dependent, I think that Thunder is just a cat and that’s how he rolls. Either way, I’m glad my little buddy is better – even if it means he’s more dangerous.

——————

While Jim was on vacation and then when I was home with Thunder, I kept myself busy with a number of small tasks. These were things I had been putting off for no real reason and I got a great deal of satisfaction in getting them done. Even if none of them amounted to much. Did some filing, cleaned and re-arranged my living room. ripped some CDs, etc.

It reminded me a bit of being on the switchboard for the university. Each of the calls is like a little task. Help one person with their question – move on to the next.

You find the fun, and Snap! the job’s a game… wait, no, not really. But it does feel good to accomplish things – even small ones.

I also took a little time to make some flowers for Jim and an origami appreciator at work. Roses, six each, on some cheap-ass plastic stems. The roses don’t really work on their own and usually require soaking in water to hold their shape – plus some hot melt glue and a stem. I’ll post a pic one of these days – I think they turned out well.

———————

Last week, I picked up Destiny for the playstation 3. It’s a First Person Shooter (FPS) set on different planets in our solar system far in the future. The plot is a little thin and there’s quite a bit of grinding to level up – but oh my gosh is it fun. Fast paced, lots of evil aliens and robots to be smacked down, and LoooooooT!

Added bonus – you can get teamed up with other players and not have to listen to them talk! I was in a team up earlier today and after a terrific battle I had my character do a little dance.

The other two players had the “…” above their heads – signifying they were looking at their menus. It was the equivalent of hitting a home run, rounding home plate, and having all the rest of the players looking at their phones.

Ah, well, I had fun.

It hasn’t creeped into my dreams yet, fortunately. Only a matter of time, though.

———————

And it’s also time, I think, to get in a couple quick rounds before heading to bed. Somebody’s got to save the solar system and I think I’m the man for the job.

Thunder and I had a nice long weekend and he kept me company as I did a little house cleaning and worked on some projects. He enjoyed the open windows and spent a lot of time running around and jumping on things to see out at various heights.

On Tuesday morning, however, he didn’t see me off when I headed off to work. And when I got home, he didn’t greet me at the door. Not even a hearty “Thunder Cat!  Hoooooo!” would summon him.  I finally found him in my room laying on my bed and he just sort of regarded me instead of being happy to see me.

As the evening wore on, I realized he hadn’t eaten any food that day and wasn’t doing any running around. He would walk carefully and slowly to a spot and then lay there. He was being really lazy – even for a cat. When I saw him hesitate to jump up on the couch, I got worried. I kept an eye on him and he didn’t improve. When I went to bed, he lay on the landing of the stairs and stayed there all night. I checked on him a few times in the night and by morning I was convinced he needed to go to the vet.

I stayed home from work and waited with him for the vet’s office to open up. Except, they were booked up all day. So, I called an Emergency Vet and made plans to take him in.

He didn’t want to use the litter box before he left, but eventually did. And he really didn’t want to get in the carrier, but I eventually wore him down.

He yowled the entire car ride. Like a freaking banshee in the backseat – the little dude really hates car rides. I mean, a lot.

We got to the ER, got him checked in and I filled out some of the dumbest paperwork I’ve ever seen.

And then I waited while they checked him over.

Then they took me to another room and I waited some more.

All the while, I’m pouring out so much worry it might as well have been a physical manifestation. Like I could have sent eddies of it drifting away if I moved my arm.

Finally, the vet came in and gave me the news.

Thunder has a high fever and it’s making him miserable. Hence the not eating or jumping. They wanted to do some bloodwork and put him on an IV – and keep him overnight.

The vet said he was the sweetest cat and they had trouble listening to his heart because he purrs so loud.

The brought him in so I could see him before I left and I just rested my hands on him and petted him gently.

He was purring for me and just seemed… so tired.

I left him in good hands, put down the deposit on his treatment, and headed into work.

I teared up a bit in the parking lot, though. Not afraid to say it. He’s my LFB – Little Furry Buddy – and I worry about him and already miss our occasionally violent co-dependent relationship.

I’ll check in with them later today and see how he’s doing. And hopefully bring him home tomorrow – healthy and back to his regular self.

There’s a restaurant Jim and I like to go to in Canton called Danny Boys. It’s a sort of rat-pack themed place with Italian food – and it’s pretty popular in the area. We were there a few weeks ago on a busy night and got seated at a tiny table off to the side. The walls were covered with old records and posters of Frank Sinatra – and right next to me was an old cigar box fastened to the wall. It had a hinge and clasp on the lid so, naturally, I opened it up to see what was inside.

Good thing I’m not Pandora.

Anyway, the box was empty – which was a little disappointing. So, since I had paper with me (and I always have paper with me), I quickly folded three green dragons. I slipped them into the box, closed and fastened the lid, and no one was the wiser. Except for Jim, of course.

Now, it’s not unusual for me to leave behind origami – I call it “creative littering” – but it is unusual to find out what happens to them.

Turns out, someone that we know that works there found them and knew it had be me. She texted Jim to confirm and was delighted to have found them. But, we discovered, she only checked the box because she once found a dollar there that someone left as a tip.

So, I guess I wasn’t quite as clever as I thought. Still fun, though.

—————————-

A couple of weeks ago was the graduation event for UA. I had signed up to be an associate marshal – a task that involves guiding the graduates through the venue. Seemed like a good way to volunteer, but the training meeting had me worried.

The guy running the show had been doing this since 1992 and he glossed over, well, everything. I left the meeting with a sense of knowing less than I did beforehand.

And heavy feelings of dread and anxiety.

Now, I don’t really get that anxious very often. I recognize that there are usually many ways for a situation to play out and lots of right answers – so, I just kind of roll with with things.

This, however, was different. I was going to have hundreds of people depend on me, on one of the biggest days of their lives, and I had no idea what I was doing. My only saving grace was one guy who showed up late to the training and proceeded to ask some of the dumbest questions imaginable. I was hoping that whatever disaster he caused would be worse than anything I could do.

On the big day, I got up early and got to the venue early. I downed a can of soda and a doughnut – which, in hindsight, was perhaps a sugar-fueled mistake – and got on my silly looking robe and hat.

Then we did a final walk-though and I realized I was going to be fine. The students in my row came to me and I check them off my list. We followed the row in front of us through the building and got them seated. Then followed again when the went up on the stage.

It was basically follow the leader + a clipboard.

I was vastly relieved, no one fell off the stage, and everyone was happy.

And now that I know, I might volunteer again. Though those robes… man, no way to be dignified in those. Might as well have worn a clown wig too.

———————-

I get some weird email at work and today was no exception. There was an email from  – I kid you not – Princess Brittney [redacted], the CEO and Founder of a “girl power” organization. And I quote:

“an organization passionately dedicated to achieving gender equality for women and girls through collaborating with successful men.”

She was trying to get us to host an event with a speaker of dubious academic credentials and I’m pretty sure we’re just going to ignore it, but… What the actual F?

How is that “girl power”, princess? Women will be equal if they cozy up to powerful men? Really? REALLY?

I wasn’t sure if I should be amused or nauseous – and I eventually settled on the latter.

Just… what kind of a lesson does that teach young girls? “You can’t excel on your own, you need a successful man to give you the opportunities.”

I don’t know how you end up at “equality” after that. When I eventually forward the note, I’ll need to figure out the right department. Most likely it will go to – and be rejected by – Student Life.

Really, though, I want to send it over to Women’s Studies so they can try to pull Princess Brittney out of the dark ages.

Yesterday was the Wayne County Maker Faire. This is an event where people get together and show off what they can make – from knitting to robots, wordworking to drones – and all kinds of things in between.

I got up at 6, loaded up my car, and was at Wayne College by 7:15. Unloaded the car, got everything set up, and was ready to go half an hour early.

Which was good, because people started showing up at 9:30. And from then until 5:03 pm, I folded paper and taught people – mostly kids – how to fold things as well.

We did cubes, triangular shapes, and cranes – lots of cranes.

It was a steady stream, usually 2-3 kids at a time, all day long.

Jim stopped by and brought me a drink shortly after we officially started. And my folks came up for a visit and brought me a sub which I ate while I was folding. I unfortunately didn’t have much time to visit with them – the kids were relentless in the nicest way possible. Dad did give me a quick break to run to the restroom and then it was back to it.

I was wrapping up a crane with a couple kids at 5 and there was one little girl waiting to fold something too. So, because I had to pack up and go, I gave her the crane I’d been working on as a sort of consolation.  She was cool with that.

With the car loaded up, I headed out and I met up with some friends for dinner and games. Then, shower and bed.

I was exhausted.

Not just physically tired from a day’s worth of activity, but mentally tired. Each piece I do, no matter how well practiced, takes a sliver of concentration. When I’m showing someone else, especially a novice, that takes more attention. Showing multiple people of different skill levels takes far more to track where everyone is and how much intervention is needed. This is especially true with very little kids – they want to do the whole thing, but there is some degree of precision needed or the folds don’t work

And then multiply that by the number of different projects going at once. Several times, I had a couple kids working on cranes, two others building cubes, and a little girl that hung out at my booth that wanted to make an 18 piece wreath.

Human beings can’t really multi-task, but we can switch tasks really quickly – and I think I hit my limits on that one.

I’m still worn out today and might actually take a nap in a bit here. Not sure I want to tackle an event like this again… and yet…

—–
There’s a moment, right at end of folding a crane, when it suddenly looks like a bird. All along, it’s just paper with a bunch of folds that don’t mean anything and suddenly – crane.

The last step is the hardest. You grip the crane from the front and the tail and pull straight apart. It takes some effort – just the right amount of effort. Not enough, and nothing happens. Too much, and the paper will tear.

But when it works, the bird will take that first tentative flap of its wings. And from there, the wings will flap with ease.

And in that moment, when everyone’s attention is focused on the crane, there is delight. Eyes get wide, smiles get huge, and there is simple wonder.

For a kid to see that transformation and to have a hand in turning a piece of paper into something… well, magical…

That’s pretty awesome.

I got a notice from the gas company that I needed to have my indoor meter checked. I needed to call and schedule an appointment prior to the end of May – or my gas would be cut off.

I was cross about the threat – and then worried when I misplaced the notice and phone number before I called. I got a second notice, made an appointment with the most disengaged customer service I’ve even encountered, and planned to be at home on the day of the appointment. Which was yesterday – from 4 to 8 pm.

I left work a little early so I’d be there in case they actually showed up at the beginning of the window – and started waiting.

At 6:20, I finally got the automated call that they were on their way over. At 6:30 the technician arrived. I met him at the door and escorted him to the basement with the well lit and cleared path to the meter.

He had a box with a sensor wand on the end that he waved around the meter for about 45 seconds before he declared it done. I walked him back upstairs and he was on his way.

So, 2 and a 1/2 hours of waiting (could have been much more, i guess) and then 45 seconds of actual work. Is this really the best system for this? Really?

Sigh.

——————————–

Thunder(cat) has been enjoying the open windows and the increased duties as a neighborhood watcher. He’s been a bit more playful and I decided to give him a treat. About 2 minutes after he scarfed it down and determined that he wasn’t getting a second one, I found him in the living room trying to turn himself inside out.

Now, having a cat as a room-mate involves a certain amount of vomit. I accept that it happens – either food or hairball (thankfully, those are rare), but something about that tiny treat did not sit well with him and he put his whole body into throwing that up – along with perhaps everything he’d ever eaten.

It looked really painful and was a horrible sound, but once he got that treat up he was pretty much okay. I cleaned up the mess and although he doesn’t know it yet – that was his last treat.

Sorry, bro.

———————-

I have decided that databases are dumb. They mostly work when you are trying to catalog things – like books or widgets – but they have trouble with the very changeable human element.

I’ve been getting letters from the Human Right Campaign at my house – with Jeff’s name on them. I’d let my membership lapse a while back and somehow their database mixed my address with Jeff’s name.

It’s not a big deal, I guess, but it makes me a little sad every time one of these come in. Today, I went to their website and tried to find a form that would match the situation and failing that – finally tracked down an email address.

I sent the note, got the automated “we’re working on it” response, and moved on.

Again.

I still think about him often and it doesn’t hurt so much anymore – just, you know, kinda sad.

Once this mailing list is cleared up I’ll consider renewing my membership again. I kinda doubt the effectiveness of the organization, but it seems like the thing to do.

—————-

Time to get some dinner and run some errands. And maybe sit outside and read if the wind settles down.