Author: anthony Page 27 of 77

I had a dream the other night that I was at a conference with Angela Merkel, the Chancellor of Germany. She was presenting a resolution to the UN suggesting that people that had committed murder or other violent crimes in their home country should not be allowed to be an ambassador to the UN.

After her presentation, she came over and asked me what I thought. I replied,

“Well, I would like to think that if a person had paid their debt to society they should then have the same rights as any other citizen, but I see your point about them having questionable judgement – so, I guess it’s given me something to think about,”

She nodded. “And that’s really what I was hoping to do – give people something to think about,”

And then I woke up. No idea what prompted that dream or what it was about – but she seemed nice.

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I’ve finally gotten around to reading Stephen King’s “Under the Dome”. It was… ok. I kind of expected more from the 1,072 pages, but it less about the horror of the situation of being trapped in a dome and cut off from the world – and more about how quickly people can go from “kinda of an asshole” to “full blown assholerly”. And that’s really what it mostly about. A few good people and bunch of assholes led by an even bigger asshole.

Hmmm… where have we seen that before?

Anyway, it was okay but I’m not likely to read it again. It’s going on the “sell to half-priced booked for a pittance, but at least feel good about putting a book back into circulation so other people can enjoy it” pile.

I have very specific piles and shelves for my books.

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I was at my computer in my office at home last evening and looked out the window to the roof over my patio in my backyard. I noticed some birds hanging out near the edge, then one of them vanished and came back up in a splash of water.

Ummm… yeah, gutters aren’t supposed to work like that.

I went out to investigate and sure enough, the gutter was full of leaves and water – and the opening to the downspout was blocked.

All the rest of the gutters on the house have a cover – except, oddly, the one that is easy to reach. If you’re going to cover the gutters, why not just do all of them?

So, I got some gloves, a bucket and a ladder and got the gutter cleared out before I lost the light.

Even though the leaves were kinda gross and decayed – and the water smelled pretty bad – I didn’t really mind doing the job of cleaning it out. It was a simple job and easy enough to do – would that all our tasks were that straight-forward and easy to resolve.

I sprayed it down with a hose for good measure and checked to make sure the water was draining to the street properly before I put my tools away and headed inside.

This evening I stopped at Lowe’s and got a plastic mesh cover that should do the job and I’ll get that put in place one of these days.

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It’s been a quiet evening and the windows are open to cool breezes. Time for a cup of tea and good book on the porch.

Waaaaay back in the day, when I was still a student assistant working for the UA Telecommunications department, I worked with a woman named June. Her husband Rod was the director for IT at the time and Telecom was an auxiliary that worked closely with IT. It made for some confusing org charts at the time, but it was notable that the manager for Telecom didn’t really get along with June. It was one of those things, you know?

Being a helpful person, I made it a point to help keep June on track and smoothed over any friction between her and the manager. It made her work days a little easier and I think she appreciated it.

Having an interest and aptitude with computers, I applied for a full time position with IT on the HelpDesk. On the day of my interview, Rod called me up and asked if I wanted a ride across campus from the Lincoln building to the Computer Center. I thanked him, but said I was planning on just walking over – no need to make a special trip.

“How about I give you a ride anyway?” he said, and I shrugged (which he couldn’t see on the phone) and agreed.

On the ride over, he told me who I would be interviewing with, what questions to expect, and advice on how to handle the trick questions that one of the managers was sure to spring on me.

I was a little surprised by this, but realized I’d already gathered a good reputation with IT while still a student – and he wanted to see my succeed. I suspect his wife put in a good word for me as well.

The interview went well – and I picked a different route with the trick question and still did okay. And thus began my full time job with the computer helpdesk for the University of Akron.

A few years later, Rod was re-organizing the computer center and called me up. I’d worked in a couple different areas and he asked me what I wanted to do next.

“Well,” I said, “I like working on the website, so maybe the webteam?”

And, like that, I was on the webteam. My new boss was a little skeptical, but I soon found my niche and became a productive part of the team.
Fast forward to today and we’ve got a gap in the switchboard schedule this morning. I’m in a dress shirt and tie for the Service Awards this afternoon and answering calls for the university solo from the switchboard office in the Lincoln building.

A call comes in and has Rod’s name on the display. When I answer, I recognize June’s voice when she asks to be transferred to Benefits.

“Is this June?” I ask and when she says yes – with some puzzlement in her voice – I identify myself and ask her how she’s doing. She recognizes me and we chat for a moment before I transfer her call.
How strange that, on the day I get my 20 year service award, I talk to one of the people who helped me get started? June and Rod have both long since retired and it was so random that she would call today and I’d be on the phones for that one hour to answer.

Humans tend to made connections and associations even when there is no correlation. But it was a neat little circle there and I’m glad that connection happened.

I got my certificate later in the afternoon for 20 years – and surprised myself with being a bit nostalgic.

I got a request from my cousin not long ago to participate in a project for her daughter’s second grade class. They are learning about the “50 Nifty States” and she asked if I could write about Ohio.

Of course, I said yes.

I got the letters from the teacher – and one of my favorite second graders – a couple days ago and set to work. They wanted to know interesting things about Ohio, our weather, and what crops we grow here. I did a little research and put together a response. I’ll drop it in the mail tomorrow morning on the way to work, but I have a link to an online version.

It was fun to do and I hope they enjoy it.

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I’m often referred to as weird, silly, eccentric, or – my favorite – whimsical, but when it comes right down to it, I’m actually really practical. Especially when it comes to large purchases. Ok, yes, I did buy a pointer hand today when I was at Staples, but the comedy opportunities are well nigh endless and I couldn’t pass it up. I mean, you start with nose-picking and go from there – the sky is the limit.

But the big stuff always gives me pause.

I really “want” a laptop. Just think, I could blog FROM ANYWHERE! Well, anywhere with WiFi. But I don’t really “need” a laptop. I have a very nice desktop in my office at home – and a somewhat crappy desktop at work. I don’t need another computer.

I also really “want” a playstation 4. I really don’t need this – I mean, I really don’t need this. My playstation 3 works just fine and while I’m more of a PC gamer at this point it also plays movies just fine. But, oh, a playstation 4… I just want to rub up against one. But not in a weird way.

So, conflict in my head. A lot of conflict. I’ve price shopped and compared features on both of these many times – but haven’t gone ahead with either. The practical side will keep winning until the parameters change – i.e. my playstation breaks or I get a syndicated writing column and/or my desk computer breaks. Eh, two of out of three…

And while that practicality is kinda boring, my bills are paid. And that feels pretty good too.

Not as nice as rubbing up against a new playstation 4 – again, not in a weird way – but still pretty nice.

The University of Akron holds a Service Awards reception each year for employees that have reached a milestone – 5, 10, 15, etc.  – year with UA.

One of the committees I’m on volunteered to help this year and I was asked to prepare the powerpoint that will play in the background, listing all the names of the recipients.

To my surprise, I’m on the list. I started full time at UA in August of 1997 and figured I’d get my certificate next time around. I’m in my 20th year, but I haven’t really finished my 20th – more like 19 and 7/12 years.  Or something.  I did a little math, but didn’t really care about the result. It looks good, anyway.

But, according to Human Resources and their vaguely inaccurate reckoning, I’ve been at the University of Akron for 20 years.

20 years.

It’s a little tough to wrap my head around. I started out on the computer help desk, moved to client support, then a brief stint in the computer store, then lab support before moving to the webteam. And no, we didn’t use punch cards when I started in computers – though I was on an early Mac with a CRT screen connected to a mainframe for a while.

Over the years the job, and most of the people, have changed. Some things are better and some are worse, but mostly things are just things.

I haven’t lost that excitement over helping our students. That might take the form of teaching someone how to use the online survey tool, setting up an e-commerce site for a student group, running an election, or writing a letter of recommendation for a student employee.  And, as as side note, one of my student employees just turned 21.  She was 1 year old when I started at UA.

I like solving problems and helping people and so the job doesn’t get old. There’s always something new to do and I’m happiest when I’m busy. I get cranky and frustrated too, sometimes. Mostly when I have to solve a problem more than once or I’ve got a problem that can’t be solved – but I’m mostly happy with my job. And I realize how lucky I am in that regard.

So, next week I’ll attend the reception. I’ll have my name read aloud and shake hands with some people. There may be a photo op with Zippy and I’ll get a certificate – that I’ll keep with the 5, 10, and 15 years ones I still have. In another 10 years, I’ll get a rocking chair and…

Okay, let me stop right there for a moment. The gift that the University gives people at 30 years of service is a rocking chair. Because, by that point, you’ll be so damn old that you sitting around in a chair and rocking slowly back and forth will seem like a good time.

Or, you can get the Captain’s chair that is essentially a rocking chair that doesn’t rock. I guess rocking in a chair is too much for some people.

How about a laptop? Or a skateboard? I’d love to learn how to shred at 54. Or a skydiving trip? Or a freaking shark with a laser?

Nope, rocking chair. I’ll have a listing on Ebay so fast there won’t even be time to unpack it.

But, I digress.

20 years of being “quietly awesome” and saving the damn day, every day.

I dare you to keep up.

I got a text from Jim this evening inviting me to an impromptu art show and artist discussion for his class. I wasn’t busy so I headed back to campus and over to the art school.

I got there just in time for the professor to call on Jim to talk about his art – he pointed me out as his collaborator on the origami for the books and we got some cool photos. It was pretty neat to see the other students’ work as well and to hear about their creative process.

I like to push the boundaries on paper folding with materials, size, and scope – and it was really excellent to see some humble paper fish and butterflies to be part of something bigger.

And the parent of one of the students wants to buy one of Jim’s books! He said he’d think about and has plans for another project. Looks I need to limber up my hands – we’ve got some more folding to do.

Here are the photos of the projects – I’ll try to get some shots of the gallery at some point too.

Goldfish | Butterflies

Today is day 8 of the antibiotics… and I’m still not feeling great. Still got all the symptoms to a lesser degree and while its not slowing me down I just feel… ugh.  And this has been since 3/21/17 at 1:45 pm.  Yes, I kept track.

At one point, after a blast of a honey/lemon throat spray – which tastes like neither – I coughed up something that looked like it might have been an independent life form. It went down the drain of the sink before I could investigate and I’m guessing it’s just as well.

Two more days of antibiotics and then we’ll see how I’m doing. I’m still about 60% mucus and hoping to get that number down.

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I had a dream a few nights ago that I was doing some gardening and needed to protect the new plants from been eaten by deer. I was at a store trying to narrow it down between two products:

The first didn’t have a name – it was a spray that you put on the plants to make the deer throw up. It cautioned that deer vomit would kill your grass, but it would recover quicker than the plants.

The second was called BioLock and had a picture of a deer with a padlock above its head. Except that wasn’t just some kind of marketing thing – the product consisted of a set of padlocks on strings that you were supposed to hang above the plants. The deer would bonk their heads on the padlocks when trying to eat the plants and would get scared and run off. Naturally.

I was trying to decide between the two when I woke up. I’d blame the cold medicine, but this is just kinda the way my head works.

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The UA of School of Social Work wants to make me an Honorary member of the Phi Alpha Honor Society. A sort of Honorary honorary. Not sure if that cancels out or doubles, but I may know more at the induction ceremony in a few weeks.

It’s a little odd – I’m not a social worker (my degree is in HR) and I’m not part of their department, but this is just their way of saying thank you – and that they appreciate the work that I’ve done for their department and students over the years.

There’s a dinner and an awards presentation – I’m planning on wearing a tie. Like I said, a little odd, but kinda nice too.

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Jim and I have been collaborating on a couple of art projects. For his class he had to destroy/re-purpose an old book and had the idea of incorporating origami. So, we found some old books at a thrift store, cut out some pages, and I folded butterflies for one and goldfish for the other. The butterflies are mostly unpainted, except for the last few he’s got escaping from the book – and those are done in a bright blue. The fish are pouring out of another book and they are bright orange when they escape.

He did a great job on the design and I’ll post pictures of both soon.

We underestimated how many fish he would need – we started with 25 – and last evening was a rush job to do 30 more. And 10 more tonight. Fortunately, I’m crazy fast once I’ve really learned a model and I ended up folding them faster than he could glue them to the book.

Pretty cool to get to share in an art project and I think they’re turning out really well.

I got up bright and early for my doctor’s appointment this morning and got to their office plenty early. Got checked in and had my insurance card at the ready – because I have my shit together.

I didn’t have to wait long before I saw the doctor and we were done even before my official appointment time. I’ve got a sinus infection and I got a prescription for some antibiotics.

I paid my co-pay on the way out the door and in the car I checked to see when the nearby drugstore opened. 8:00 am. It was quarter til 8, so I went over to starbucks for some tea and a cookie to kill some time, then on to pick up the prescription.

Except, the pharmacy wasn’t open til 9.

Oh, the store itself was open and if I needed to get tampons or the latest issue of Hunting and Fishing I would have been fine- but I was out of luck.

I grumbled a bit as I went back to the car and then on into work. I got an automated call at 9:30 to tell me my prescription was ready (thanks, jerks) so I went back at 11 (when I usually get lunch) to pick it up.

With antibiotics and lunch, I went back to work again and ate. The directions on the bottle said this:

“Take 2 Tablets by Mouth Every Day With Food”

Now, there are a variety of ways to get pills in one’s body and “by mouth” was the best of the available options – so, yea! – but it was a little unclear.

Is that “one pill at lunch and one at dinner?” or “two pills at lunch”?

I couldn’t find any other instructions so I called the drugstore for clarification. After sitting on hold for a bit, I finally talked to someone in the pharmacy who listened to me and then had me wait for the pharmacist. More hold music…

I explained my question again and they said that the doctor really should have explained that better – could go either way.

So, I hung up and called the doctor’s office.

Except, they are closed from 11:45 to 12:45. I waited on the line through the recording to see if I could leave a message and someone picked up. Cool! I started to explain the question – then realized it was the answering service. Who politely suggested I call back after 12:45.

So, I called back at 1 and slogged through the voice-mail prompts – and finally talked to a person. I explained, again, my question and the staff person put me on hold. They came back to re-ask what I wanted, then put me on hold again. I finally talked to a physician’s assistant who confirmed “2 at once”.

By this point, lunch was long done. I decided to wait until dinner tonight to start.

As a fun side note, the summary of my visit to the doctor included a note – based on my weight and height – that my Body Mass Index indicates I need to watch my weight.

Not something the doctor and I talked about, but apparently their computer thinks I’m fat.

And I’ve got a couple of little old ladies from New York that would agree with it.

So, tonight at dinner, I’m having dessert.

Last Thursday, I drove south to my parent’s house – about 3 hours – and then on Friday we drove 6 and a half hours to central Illinois. They dropped me off at my cousin’s house and there was much video gaming, paper folding, and card playing with her kids.

One of whom decided early on that we were now “best buddies”.  🙂

It ended up being a very late night and there was an early morning on Saturday to visit my aunt for brunch. From there, a birthday party at a gymnastics center that had a climbing wall, a bounce house, and a pit filled with foam cubes. A lot of fun to get into, but difficult to get out of. I proved once again that I’m just a tall kid and spent a lot of time running, jumping, and climbing – much to the delight of the actual kids.

After the party it was trip to my Dad’s cousin’s house, then back to my cousin’s for a family get together. Lots of food, lots of great conversation, and lots of people – including some of my relatives that I hadn’t seen in many years. It was another late night with some really amazing people – didn’t want it to end, but I was asleep on my feet.

Sunday was back in the car for 6.5 hours, then a quick dinner and 3 more hours home. A good trip, but it took a lot out of me.

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A side effect of hanging around a lot of kids when you aren’t used to that is… well… they are germ warehouses. I love ’em, but I picked up some kind of nasty bug over the weekend. It hit me about 2 in the afternoon on Tuesday with just a tickle in my throat. I was coughing pretty good by the evening and Wednesday morning I was sick as a dog. I got up long enough to send an email to work, then it was back to bed. I was up again a little at lunch and then once more at 5 to do some work.

This morning, still sick and I hadn’t slept well. Took another day off, but did a little more work from home so I wouldn’t be so far behind. I’m better now, but still really tired.

The worst is that horrible taste as my body slowly converts to mucus. Yeah, pretty much like that. Need to get some more cold medicine so I can function tomorrow and then it’s back to work.

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A few weeks ago, I fired up my text editor and wrote a little to the Ladies Who Have Returned to New York – Louise and Edna. It was a newsy kind of letter – just sharing some of my silly adventures since I hadn’t talked to them in a while. I printed it out, drew some pictures on it as illustrations, and dropped it in the mail.

Last week, I got a card back from Louise. It was a short note, written in a densely packed cursive, that was a little difficult to read. She thanked me, a couple of times, for the letter and how much she and Edna enjoyed it. She also said, a couple of times, how unhappy she was for having moved and that it was a terrible decision.

Made me sad to hear that – but perhaps not surprised. She decided early on that this wasn’t a good move for her and I’ll give her this – she’s consistent. I’m worried that she’s not making a good effort to make the best of the situation and that it’s going to ultimately impact her health.

So, I worry, a little – but know there’s not much I can do to help. I’ll write again soon and try to send a little Ohio cheer her way.

I’ve become news-averse over the past few years, but I recognize that ignorance isn’t doing me any good. So, I still follow a few feeds and try to sort out the value from the crap.

One item that I saved related to Virginia Foxx – a representative from North Carolina. In addition to wanting to dismantle the Department of Education, she’s also infamous for her statement about Matthew Shepard – calling the crime:

“a hoax that continues to be used as an excuse for passing hate crimes bills.”

politico |  Wikipedia  | Washington Post

More recently was a statement by writer Chadwick Moore who claimed it wasn’t a hate crime – instead, a drug deal gone bad:  joe.my.god

This appears to be based on much debunked book about Matt Shepard from 2013: Wikipedia

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In 1998, a 21 year old man named Matthew Shepard was kidnapped, robbed, beaten, and tied to a fence post on a cold October night and left to die. He never regained consciousness and passed away 6 days later. During the trial, it was determined that his attackers had pretended to be gay in order to lure him from the bar so they could rob him. When he responded, they panicked and attacked him.

The incident and trial made national headlines for shedding a light on crimes against members of the LGBT community and for those that proclaimed his attackers as “heroes” and “justified in their actions”. There was a made-for-tv movie, documentaries, and books as people tried to make sense of what happened. And, eventually, a law was passed that made this kind of attack a “hate-crime”.

In 1998, I was 25. A late bloomer, as it were, who was still wrestling with his sexuality and trying desperately to figure who he was. When I heard about this, I empathized with Matthew deeply. “That could have been me” echoed over and over in my head – and I was afraid.

Afraid of saying the wrong thing to the wrong person. Afraid of letting anyone know who I really was – and what I really was.

Afraid that someone would beat me to death because I was gay.

It would be years later before I got the courage to date, even circumspectly. And longer still before I would let my friends know. And even longer before I was ready to come out to my family.

I was ruled by that fear and spent a spectacular amount of energy in double-checking everything I said or did to everyone I knew or ever met. My backup plans had backup plans and I was always aware of where I was – and the nearest exit. Like Matthew, I have a slim build and knew that I couldn’t defeat those presumed attackers, but I was always ready to run.

Slowly, cautiously, and oh so carefully, I started to work past my fears. I felt safe with my friends and began to let people past those carefully constructed walls. After a not-great coming out to my family I’m in a much better place with them now. Some of my co-workers know and have been nothing but supportive. I’ve had several relationships and I’m in a great one now with a great guy.

And when Jim and I are out somewhere and I introduce him, I refer to him more and more as my “partner” instead of the safer “friend”.

But, we don’t hold hands in public.

That fear still lingers because every day a gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender person is mocked, attacked, beaten, or killed just because of who they are.

And so, to further some deeply twisted personal agendas, people like Foxx and Moore call into question what happened Matthew to diminish the impact. To blame the victim.

When I first read the article about Virginia Foxx I went into a murderous rage. I wanted to find her and I wanted to destroy her. No matter the cost.

“How dare she?” I thought, “How dare she mock what happened?”

Because it wasn’t just about Matthew – it was about me too. And about every single LGBT person that knew fear because of what happened. Everyone that lived a life being afraid of being themselves.

Needless to say, I didn’t make a road trip to NC. Instead, I’m trying to be a little more brave each day. Being a little more open and a little more out. It isn’t easy – my inclination is still to hide and look for those exists.

But I’m trying, a little all the time, to not be afraid anymore. And I’m still here.

I took the day off today and got up bright and early to go to the Portage Lakes State park for a hike in my kilt. And winter coat, boots, scarf, gloves and hat.

I got lost driving there, somehow, and of course ended up in Barberton. If I’m going to get lost while driving, I inevitably end up in Barberton. No one knows why.

Anyway, I finally got there and parked my car in the first lot – then set out for my hike.

And, unsurprisingly, I had the whole park to myself. I saw a couple of maintenance trucks when my path took me near a parking lot, but otherwise I was alone.

It was peaceful and quiet. Kind of somber with the bare trees and maybe a little lonely.

I took the Shoreline Trail and though I lost the trail a few times, I wasn’t really lost. I would soon find a signpost and I was back on track. I saw some swans, some loons, and a woodpecker, but no people.

I started to get a little tired and decided to head back for my car.

And then I got lost.

Not, “I’m going to die alone in the wilderness and wolves with gnaw on my bones”, but “This is fairly annoying”

I stayed lost for a bit and my sense of direction was actively working against me. I did find a road and figured I was in the home stretch, but I ended up going the wrong direction.

Finally, I got out my phone and fired up Google Maps to look for the entrance to the park – by foot. I headed West – against my criminal sense of direction – and it said I was still 17 minutes away.

And then the sky opened up and the snow came down in a sudden squall. Visibility dropped to a few yards and I started looking for the wolves. And regretting that I didn’t wear underwear under my kilt. I don’t know why that suddenly bothered me, but it did.

I confirmed my direction again with my phone, then put my head down and forged ahead.

The sky cleared in a few minutes with nary a wolf in sight and I soon found the main road and then my car.

I was tired and cold and hungry – and feeling more that a little stupid. But I was still glad I went. Not sure how far it was, but lets call it 4 miles.

I took a hot shower when I got home and there’s pizza baking in the oven. Good way to spend my morning – but next time I’m picking up a map of the trails before I head out.