Author: anthony Page 27 of 72

So, yeah, I met with the Secret Service today.

An agent from that department came to our office today to:

1. Let us know that yes, Donald Trump is coming to UA – on Monday.

2. Let us know what to do and who to contact if someone calls in a threat to the campus switchboard.

3. Get a signature to authorize having our phones tapped if someone does make a threat.

So, yeah.

I got the operators updated while we tried to figure out who had the authority to sign for that. We eventually tracked down the right VP, but so many of the buildings on campus are “land-locked”, it was easier just to take him there. Or rather, he drove and I rode along and gave him directions to appropriate parking. And then I walked him to the right building and the right VP.

Then I got the hell out of there. This was waaaaay above my pay scale.

So, yeah, that happened.  Good luck, Akron.

Went out to dinner with friends earlier this week and we went to Cilantro. The company was great and the food was good too – if a little pricey. Two things of note:

1. The dish I had was called Tofu-Rama and I ordered a spicy level of 2 out of 5. Which is completely arbitrary. I’m reminded of the Hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy:

“R is a velocity measure, defined as a reasonable speed of travel that is consistent with health, mental well-being and not being more than say five minutes late. It is therefore clearly an almost infinitely variable figure according to circumstances, since the first two factors vary not only with speed taken as an absolute, but also with awareness of the third factor. Unless handled with tranquility this equation can result in considerable stress, ulcers and even death.”

So, whatever “2” was in the spicy scale, it was clearly at the upper threshold for me. I suspect 3 would have been painful, 4 a sudden death, and 5 would involve bursting into flame and melting straight down through the ground to the planet’s core.

Jim suggested that I might have been a wuss about it.

2. The server was a young man of Asian ancestry with shockingly orange hair. He introduced himself as “Bruce” and it took everything I had in me not to ask his last name. If he had said “Lee”, I suspect I would not have been able to contain myself.

Also, the sushi was amazing.

———————

Yesterday, after work, I went to get my haircut. I had just started folding some paper when it was my turn. So, paper in hand, I sat down and got covered up by the cape. Or whatever it’s called – seems a lot like a cape.

Anyway, I kept right on folding since most of the things I can do don’t need me to actually look at the paper.

I kept my hand movements to a minimum because, well, nevermind.

I finished up the origami and held onto it while she finished up my haircut. When she pulled off the cape, I held up the finished model and said, “Well, let’s see how it turned out,”

I handed her the small red dragon to her surprise and delight. Then she asked, “Did you make this?”

“Yes,” I told her, “Just now,”

“Really?”

“Sure, I’ve folded enough of these that I don’t need to look at the paper anymore,”

I don’t think I convinced her until I pulled out the stack of paper from my pocket and showed her the small red squares – and even with that she was a little incredulous.

Next time, I’ll need to show her the paper square before my hands disappear under the cape.

If you’re going to do magic, better to set up the trick beforehand.

A couple weekends ago, I went and saw the new Ghostbusters movie with some friends. We had dinner first and got to the theater a little later than expected – which would usually not be a big deal for a movie after opening weekend. I was excited about the venue since each theater had all reclining seats. Not just lean back, but really recline and stretch out. Sounded pretty awesome – with just one small problem.

The only seats left were in the front row.

So, we got seated and reclined – and I braced myself.

I’ve only ever sat in a front row before at a movie once before and I got terribly sick at the time. So, I closed my eyes through the previews and tried to conserve my “not-wanting-to-puke” status for as long as I could.

When the movie started I was prepared for quick glances and then long recovery with my eyes closed – trusting the audio to keep me up to speed. To my surprise, though, I didn’t get sick. A little headache, but that was manageable. I think there were enough scenes that didn’t jump cut and enough time with exposition that I could focus on small parts of the gigantic screen.

And it was a fun movie. Kate MiKinnon as Holtzman was amazingly funny – I would have been fine with just her as the only character. The effects were well done and the story was interesting. And the prior Ghostbusters made some fun cameos. Looking forward to seeing this on DVD where I can recline again – but this time in my living room.

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Last weekend was my youngest niece’s birthday. She turned 4. I had been struggling with what to get her and asked my sister – joking suggesting that I was going to get her a hammer or a bandsaw. She replied that my niece wanted a bandsaw – then gave me some other suggestions: princesses, kitties, anything purple, baby doll clothes, and clothes for her.

I went to Toys R Us and fairly quickly found a stuffed Purple, Princess, disney Kitty. And while this was pretty cool – it wasn’t quite enough. There wasn’t a bandsaw there, but they did sell play chainsaws with a Home Depot brand.

So, of course, I bought one. The clerk tried to give me two gift receipts – assuming that these two items couldn’t possibly be for the same child.

My niece opened the stuffed kitty package first and was pretty excited. When she opened the chainsaw one she was a little confused, but was soon pretending to cut her dad’s leg off or sawing a chair in half.

I’m the fun uncle. Well, and the weird one too.

I think she liked both presents and I’m glad she’s got an open mind about pretending.

I had a dream that I was wearing a chicken costume.

I was at a party at a banquet hall and was part of the entertainment. I took a break and leaned back against the wall – out of the way and off to the side. I lifted one chicken-foot-booted foot up and pressed the sole against the wall. Then did the same with the other one – at the same time.

So, back to the wall and both feet off the ground. I sort of hung there for a moment, then carefully pushed upward with my feet. I slid up the wall, now even further off the ground and unsupported. With a little effort, I made my way up and navigated the corner between the wall and the ceiling until I was stretched out across the ceiling.

Looking down, I waved to the party goers. They looked back up – interested, but not afraid.

I rolled over and crawled across the ceiling, trying to figure out what was holding me up there.

Was it magnets in the chicken suit and a metal ceiling? I didn’t feel any pull like you get when you shift a magnet and that seemed to rule that out.

Was it all in my head? A hallucination? Not likely – the people on the ground could clearly see me up on the ceiling.

I made my way across the ceiling and crawled down to the floor again. All through the trip I tried to keep as much of my body in contact with a solid surface. Seemed to be necessary but I didn’t know why.

Back on the ground, I got changed out of my chicken costume and headed to class. While the professor was talking, I casually lifted a pencil up off the desk and let it go in mid-air.

It didn’t fall. Instead, it hung there in the air unsupported.

A few classmates around me tried this as well and soon the air was filled with gently floating objects.

The professor came over and I explained what had happened with the chicken costume. He proposed a simple experiment – I would leave the room and walk away for 3 minutes, then come back. Getting out of range would tell if it was me specifically or something global.

I walked out of the room and down the hall, heading outside. I kept checking my watch to track the time and…. it didn’t seem to be progressing.

After a while – how long, I couldn’t tell since my watch wasn’t working – I headed back into the building.

And then I saw the problem. It wasn’t just objects floating anymore. Instead, everything was frozen in motion.

I hadn’t been defying gravity at all. Instead, I had just been falling so very slowly that it looked like I wasn’t falling at all. That explained the chicken costume on the ceiling (sort of) and the floating pencil.

As I progressed through the building I realized that I was the only one moving at all. Everyone and everything else was either frozen or slowed down so much that it didn’t matter.

I took off my useless watch and dropped it to hang in the air, then wandered around the silent building – full of people that I could no longer interact with.

It was frightening and lonely.

I wandered around the halls trying to interact – maybe bring my own time field to cover someone or something else. But, as my watch evidenced, it was me and only me that was on “normal” time.

I wandered back outside to see if the rest of the world was affected and that’s when I dragged myself out of sleep.

The alarm clock next to my bed seemed to flit back and forth in time for a while – it was 5:23, then 5:18, then 6:05 the next minute. The alarm started going off and I woke up the rest of the way.

I got out of bed and sat on the floor next to my cat. We hung out for a few minutes so I could settle back into time – then I got to my feet, got dressed, and went to work.

Things seem to be okay here, but if they day feels like it’s taking forever, it might be me.

When our group was in the computer center, I was assigned the role of Building Emergency Response Leader. This was because I was considered reliable and because – by virtue of having an office the furthest from any door – it was assumed that I would be able to get everyone out of the building in case of a fire.

Or, I guess, literally die trying.

When we moved across campus, that responsibility got passed along. Except, it isn’t quite as well organized as when I was there.

So, this morning, I got an email sent from my friend Matt – who’s still in the Computer Center – with this text:

“Yeah, we’re gonna need you to come over and do a count of people and what not. 😜 Sent from my mobile”

The only logical thing to do was to immediately hop in my car and head over there.

When I pulled up, the folks standing at the side door had already gone back in, except for Neal – one of the managers. He smiled when he heard about the email and let me in to go wait for Matt in his office – since Matt and the rest of that part of the building had gone out the front door.

Matt walked into his office and his face lit up when he saw me. I faked a scowl and chastised he and the rest of the employees for re-entering the building without a go-ahead from me.

We talked for a few minutes before I needed to head back – I had left my office without letting anyone know what I was doing.

I had kind of a rough day at work yesterday so it was good for me to get back to my inherently silly roots, if only for a few minutes.

And, for the record, it was a false alarm and everyone was okay.  🙂

Okay, so, they weren’t bees. But they were insects and for the purposes of this story, that’s close enough.

I started my day off by… getting up at my usual time and going into work.

Sigh.

To be fair, I did volunteer for this. I’m usually the first one in and I unlock the doors and turn off the alarm before the students – or anyone else – gets in the office. It made the most sense, as much as any of this makes sense, for me to go in and push the buttons and wait for the student to arrive.  We’re working on an alternative plan…

I got things started and then promptly left. Since it was muggy and hot out, I wore my kilt today as I took myself for a walk in the park.

As soon as I hit the trail, the bugs went after my head. I must have smelled delicious or something – perhaps it was the shampoo – and the bugs would not leave me alone the entire hike. 45 minutes of constant assault.

Bugs are jerks.

I must have looked like I had some kind of neurological condition as I repeatedly slapped myself in the head.

Along with the bugs, there were loud people on the trail.  And almost no air movement.  It was a little miserable.

But…

I saw 5 rabbits and 2 groundhogs. I got a picture of a butterfly and there were birds everywhere.

I found a half-dozen blackberries on my way and there were long stretches of trail where I didn’t see or hear anyone else. The only sound was my sneakers on the gravel of the trail.

The bugs bothered my all the way back to my car, but I was already in a better mood for having gotten my ass up and started my day.

I went to the grocery store and bought some peaches and a drink, then went home to sit outside and enjoy the fruit and a book.

From there I got some lunch at subway and surprised Jim at his house to eat.

Next, I fired up the new GPS and headed to a bookstore. Browsed a bit, found some gems, and headed home. Well, gems in the form of books – they didn’t sell actual gems there.

When I got home I tried to download a new voice for my Garmin because neither “Michelle” or “Samantha” were doing it for me.

That failed and I was okay with it – which kinda surprised me – and I went outside and laid in the sun for awhile.

I’ll hit the shower again in a bit and then go out for some dinner.
My soul isn’t balanced. My karma wasn’t reset and my chakras are still f-ed up. I’m not at peace with the universe and I didn’t gain any deep insight into anything – including myself.

But, I had a good day today.

Two weekends ago, I set a post in concrete and put a mailbox on top of it. And I was pretty dang proud of it. This past weekend, I helped dig up four posts.

Setting the post was much more fun.

Jim is getting a new gate for his fence and the old and badly damaged gate needed to come out of there. Turns out, not as badly damaged as we thought. The outer wood covering was rotted off and the posts were on their way – but they were still surprisingly sturdy. And by “sturdy”, I mean that two adult men worked 5 hours on Saturday and 4 hours on Sunday to dig them up. There were two taller posts – with about 20 feet under ground and 300 lbs of concert… okay, maybe I exaggerate. A little. The big posts were maybe 8 feet tall each and the smaller were maybe 4. No shortage of concrete on any of them.

We got the first post out the first day and had cleared enough dirt to work the other three clear on the second day. We had some lunch, and then filled the holes back in. The crew setting up the new gate can re-dig them where needed.

We were both wiped out, but it was good to get the project down and it was cool to see the dramatic difference from before to after.

So, 1 post set, then 4 posts dug up. If we continue the sequence with the squares of prime numbers, then next week end I’ll need to set 9 posts.

Hmmm… or I could just quit where I’m at.

——————

It’s good that I got the labor done over the weekend as today was an appointment to donate blood. Last week, I got about 9 emails from the red cross about making an appointment to donate – figured if I didn’t get it done they would come to my house with a bag and a needle.

Or maybe two bags.

I got out of work early, had a snack at a terribly depressing McDonald’s – it was on the way – and then headed to the library. I got there a little early, inadvertently snuck up on the woman at the check-in table, and sat to wait.

And wait.

Two of the people ahead of me were denied and it was still 15 minutes after my appointment time that I got called back.

The history and short physical went okay and everyone was friendly enough, but they were short-handed and maybe just a little distracted. The woman taking my donation kept moving my arm into painful positions and I explained that the left arm was best, but it didn’t move in some directions. We finally compromised in the configuration, but it wasn’t great. Every few times that I relaxed my hand, I got a pinch like I was being stuck again. Must have been some kind of nerve thing in my arm where the plates are.

But I’m a bad-ass, so I just got through it.

When we were done, they removed the needle and had me press on the site with a piece of gauze.

But when they took the gauze off and started to walk away, I started bleeding.

A lot.

I called them back over, but by that point the blood was running down my arm and dripped onto the couch. They got it covered again and cleaned up and while I’m usually not too phased by blood – this bothered me some.  They made a joke about hooking up another bag and while I appreciated the effort at humor to put me at ease, it didn’t really work.

After a bit, they more carefully checked again and the site had closed. A more substantial bandage than usual and I was on my way to juice and cookies.

I was tired when I left the donation area and the drive home in traffic didn’t help.

And I was disappointed. Usually, when I’m done giving blood, I’m riding a wave of good feeling – having really done some measurable good. This time… I’m just glad it was over.

I still support the red cross and I’ll be back again as soon as I’m eligible to donate. And I encourage everyone to donate who can. It’s important and a good thing and one bad trip won’t slow me down.

Still, I kinda wish they had the time to slow down a bit and pay just a bit more attention.  Just a little – wouldn’t have taken much, I think.

So, time to take off the bandage, take a shower, and hit the sack.  I’m going to need plenty of rest for tomorrow.

My sister observed a phenomenon on facebook related to the high speed videos of baking wonder. The video promises to be “5 minutes to make cake pops” or some other such thing and the first step is to bake a cake. Now, it takes a bit longer to bake, cool, and crumble a cake – but the video skips over all those steps and just jumps right to the fun part.

So it was with Uncle Kracker from Australia and his 10th video in a series for knuckleheads.

The mailbox at my house has just been sitting on the porch since I moved in and I’ve been meaning to put this on a post and secure it.

So, I headed to the internet and Uncle Kracker – no relation to the “singer”, I’m guessing – and headed to Lowe’s for supplies. This weekend, I got all the gear ready and did my measuring.

And then it was time for step one – dig a hole.

As I set shovel to dirt I started second-guessing the placement, my ability to complete the project, and basically everything. I’m a geek – I had about as much confidence in setting concrete for a post hole as a duck would have landing the space shuttle. Yeah, the duck might be very clever and know a bit more about flying than say, a gopher, but still – not the duck’s element.

But, I had all the materials and the weather was good. And a holiday weekend seems made for home improvement projects if you aren’t on a lake or something.

So, I dug a hole – and it took me a lot longer than 5 minutes.

I got the post cut, added gravel – then got the water ready and the quick-crete.

The back of the bag promised a swift and painful death if you got it on your skin and a slow and painful death if you go it in your lungs, so I put on a mask and rubber gloves before I opened the bag. I got the concrete added and poured in the water. Then dirt around the braced post and clean-up.

The next day, I took the braces down and the pole was sturdy. Somewhat to my surprise, admittedly.

I put the mailbox in place on the brace and realized it was pretty well rusted. Seemed a shame to put an old mail box on a new post and so I went back to Lowe’s to buy a new mailbox. It’s very shiny.

As I tightened up the last of nuts and bolts to secure the mailbox, I smiled. That quiet sense of accomplishment did me some good. For a just a moment, all the recent stress dropped away and I enjoyed the sense of doing something right.

I cleaned up my tools and the work area and then went about my day.

Clearly, I need to trust myself a bit more. With the right planning and a little guidance, I can get all kinds of things done. And being a homeowner – while a little daunting at times – is pretty cool too.

Tomorrow, back to work and to the web. I’ll build mighty websites and solve fiendishly complicated computer problems. And – with any luck – I’ll have mail in the new mailbox when I get home.

Yesterday, I met up with some members of a work committee at the Akron Ronald McDonald House to do some volunteering. Their regular crew of volunteers were not available so there was a lot of cleaning to do. We wiped down all the surfaces and chairs, cleaned the kitchen, the bathroom, and laundry room, and swept or mopped all the floors. I was the Mop Lord for the day and tore the place up. In two hours we had cleaned the place from top to bottom. I was drenched in sweat and had somehow managed to sweat a heart-shape into my t-shirt. At least, the manager of the place thought so – enough that she wanted a picture of me with the seated statue of Ronald. It was a little silly, but in good fun.  I guess I’m headed for facebook stardom.

Afterwards, I went to McDonald’s for lunch. It seemed fitting.

I’m glad we were able to volunteer and it wasn’t a bad way to spend a couple hours on Saturday. Kinda wish we had more people in the group that could help out.

——————–

That afternoon, I started on a project that I had been putting off. The cable signal comes into the house in the living room – but my office is in the room above it. The WiFi gets the job done, but I wanted a little better signal quality in my office for my main computer. So, with the paddle-style drill bit and extension loaded up, I proceeded to try and drill a hole up from my living room ceiling. It took a while and I figured I was almost at the surface when I encountered something I couldn’t drill through. Surprised I hadn’t come up through the carpet yet, I called up my dad to get an estimate of how much distance between the floor and ceiling I should expert. He said I should already be there and that there might be tile or something under the carpet that might be slowing me down – and that I should try pulling up the carpet and going down. I did and saw that I had a pilot hole started, but the drill with the extension bit wasn’t enough to get through the really ugly tile.

[We had speculated it might be  sheet of solid diamonds under the carpet, but it was just tile.]

In a few minutes, I had a hole all the way through and shortly after that I had a cable run and my network set back up.

Nice to be able to call on dad when I’ve got home improvement questions. I try to do as much as I can, but a little guidance is always cool.

My ribs are doing much better. I’ve been doing the breathing exercise to keep me from getting pneumonia and dying – or something. And I’m to the point where I forget about it unless I move in the very much wrong way or cough. And even then, it’s minor. I got off pretty lucky.

———————–
This past weekend we went to Sandusky to visit some friends . They live on the lake – and by on the lake, I mean you can look out the front window and see water and look out the back window and also see water. It’s a peninsula, naturally.

Saturday was a boat trip and a picnic at the marina. Then a trip to a winery and some arts and crafts before dinner.

Sunday was a morning hike to the lighthouse and then lunch and a bit of driving around. It was a pretty relaxing trip – though we somehow managed to lose my GPS. We had it in their car to tag some locations for a photo project and when it stopped working we stopped thinking about it and lost track of it. It’s somewhere – even from a Law of Conservation of Mass standpoint – but exactly where we don’t know. So, the trip back was a little unsettling at the start, but we had good directions and I had my phone as a back up.

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Recently, one of my co-workers was conducting a fun poll about who our favorite super heroes were. What she didn’t realize was that she had
“Engaged the Geek”. I replied with a discussion about favorite superhero – StarBrand – and favorite superhero group – Blue Lantern Corps.

Neither of which got any additional votes – the rest of those polled were looking only at heroes on TV or the movies. So, I changed my vote to Wolverine – with some commentary on the movies vs. the comics. A side question was about James Bond and I discussed top two and bottom tier.

It occurred to me how much utterly useless comic book trivia I have in my head. I mean, really, I could go all day.

Though, I guess if you look at those stories like a mythology you can pick up a lot of insight into the human condition. How we depict our heroes says a lot about us.

For the record, the Blue Lantern Corps is like the Green Lanterns, except powered by Hope.  And the StarBrand is about an ordinary guy who gets an artifact that gives him completely limitless powers – but he’s still a guy trying to do the write thing.

I kinda like what that says about me.  Also, I’m still thinking about a StarBrand tattoo.

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I’ve been busting my ass the past couple weeks at work. Well, I’m always hauling ass, but this was even busier than usual. Last week was a lot of project management. Not formal project management – which is super tedious and boring – but more like herding cats.

And I’ve got to hire a new operator. We’re stretched too thin with internships and vacations – I’ve had to put myself on the schedule a few times just to keep us covered.

It keeps not being great. On the plus side, I’ve got a bit of a sense of accomplishment to keep me going. Herding cats is not for the faint of heart.
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Also – things that are dumb Part… whatever.

1. Commercials that load and videos that don’t.
2. People shooting off fireworks on any other night than July 4th. I live in the city, folks. It’s not a great sound to hear in the neighborhood at night.
3. Every single damn suggested post in Facebook. Just shove it, okay?

—————

And on that note, I may have to turn on the AC tonight. Apparently, I’m a little bit cranky. Might be over-heated.