Author: anthony Page 22 of 72

The University of Akron holds a Service Awards reception each year for employees that have reached a milestone – 5, 10, 15, etc.  – year with UA.

One of the committees I’m on volunteered to help this year and I was asked to prepare the powerpoint that will play in the background, listing all the names of the recipients.

To my surprise, I’m on the list. I started full time at UA in August of 1997 and figured I’d get my certificate next time around. I’m in my 20th year, but I haven’t really finished my 20th – more like 19 and 7/12 years.  Or something.  I did a little math, but didn’t really care about the result. It looks good, anyway.

But, according to Human Resources and their vaguely inaccurate reckoning, I’ve been at the University of Akron for 20 years.

20 years.

It’s a little tough to wrap my head around. I started out on the computer help desk, moved to client support, then a brief stint in the computer store, then lab support before moving to the webteam. And no, we didn’t use punch cards when I started in computers – though I was on an early Mac with a CRT screen connected to a mainframe for a while.

Over the years the job, and most of the people, have changed. Some things are better and some are worse, but mostly things are just things.

I haven’t lost that excitement over helping our students. That might take the form of teaching someone how to use the online survey tool, setting up an e-commerce site for a student group, running an election, or writing a letter of recommendation for a student employee.  And, as as side note, one of my student employees just turned 21.  She was 1 year old when I started at UA.

I like solving problems and helping people and so the job doesn’t get old. There’s always something new to do and I’m happiest when I’m busy. I get cranky and frustrated too, sometimes. Mostly when I have to solve a problem more than once or I’ve got a problem that can’t be solved – but I’m mostly happy with my job. And I realize how lucky I am in that regard.

So, next week I’ll attend the reception. I’ll have my name read aloud and shake hands with some people. There may be a photo op with Zippy and I’ll get a certificate – that I’ll keep with the 5, 10, and 15 years ones I still have. In another 10 years, I’ll get a rocking chair and…

Okay, let me stop right there for a moment. The gift that the University gives people at 30 years of service is a rocking chair. Because, by that point, you’ll be so damn old that you sitting around in a chair and rocking slowly back and forth will seem like a good time.

Or, you can get the Captain’s chair that is essentially a rocking chair that doesn’t rock. I guess rocking in a chair is too much for some people.

How about a laptop? Or a skateboard? I’d love to learn how to shred at 54. Or a skydiving trip? Or a freaking shark with a laser?

Nope, rocking chair. I’ll have a listing on Ebay so fast there won’t even be time to unpack it.

But, I digress.

20 years of being “quietly awesome” and saving the damn day, every day.

I dare you to keep up.

I got a text from Jim this evening inviting me to an impromptu art show and artist discussion for his class. I wasn’t busy so I headed back to campus and over to the art school.

I got there just in time for the professor to call on Jim to talk about his art – he pointed me out as his collaborator on the origami for the books and we got some cool photos. It was pretty neat to see the other students’ work as well and to hear about their creative process.

I like to push the boundaries on paper folding with materials, size, and scope – and it was really excellent to see some humble paper fish and butterflies to be part of something bigger.

And the parent of one of the students wants to buy one of Jim’s books! He said he’d think about and has plans for another project. Looks I need to limber up my hands – we’ve got some more folding to do.

Here are the photos of the projects – I’ll try to get some shots of the gallery at some point too.

Goldfish | Butterflies

Today is day 8 of the antibiotics… and I’m still not feeling great. Still got all the symptoms to a lesser degree and while its not slowing me down I just feel… ugh.  And this has been since 3/21/17 at 1:45 pm.  Yes, I kept track.

At one point, after a blast of a honey/lemon throat spray – which tastes like neither – I coughed up something that looked like it might have been an independent life form. It went down the drain of the sink before I could investigate and I’m guessing it’s just as well.

Two more days of antibiotics and then we’ll see how I’m doing. I’m still about 60% mucus and hoping to get that number down.

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I had a dream a few nights ago that I was doing some gardening and needed to protect the new plants from been eaten by deer. I was at a store trying to narrow it down between two products:

The first didn’t have a name – it was a spray that you put on the plants to make the deer throw up. It cautioned that deer vomit would kill your grass, but it would recover quicker than the plants.

The second was called BioLock and had a picture of a deer with a padlock above its head. Except that wasn’t just some kind of marketing thing – the product consisted of a set of padlocks on strings that you were supposed to hang above the plants. The deer would bonk their heads on the padlocks when trying to eat the plants and would get scared and run off. Naturally.

I was trying to decide between the two when I woke up. I’d blame the cold medicine, but this is just kinda the way my head works.

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The UA of School of Social Work wants to make me an Honorary member of the Phi Alpha Honor Society. A sort of Honorary honorary. Not sure if that cancels out or doubles, but I may know more at the induction ceremony in a few weeks.

It’s a little odd – I’m not a social worker (my degree is in HR) and I’m not part of their department, but this is just their way of saying thank you – and that they appreciate the work that I’ve done for their department and students over the years.

There’s a dinner and an awards presentation – I’m planning on wearing a tie. Like I said, a little odd, but kinda nice too.

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Jim and I have been collaborating on a couple of art projects. For his class he had to destroy/re-purpose an old book and had the idea of incorporating origami. So, we found some old books at a thrift store, cut out some pages, and I folded butterflies for one and goldfish for the other. The butterflies are mostly unpainted, except for the last few he’s got escaping from the book – and those are done in a bright blue. The fish are pouring out of another book and they are bright orange when they escape.

He did a great job on the design and I’ll post pictures of both soon.

We underestimated how many fish he would need – we started with 25 – and last evening was a rush job to do 30 more. And 10 more tonight. Fortunately, I’m crazy fast once I’ve really learned a model and I ended up folding them faster than he could glue them to the book.

Pretty cool to get to share in an art project and I think they’re turning out really well.

I got up bright and early for my doctor’s appointment this morning and got to their office plenty early. Got checked in and had my insurance card at the ready – because I have my shit together.

I didn’t have to wait long before I saw the doctor and we were done even before my official appointment time. I’ve got a sinus infection and I got a prescription for some antibiotics.

I paid my co-pay on the way out the door and in the car I checked to see when the nearby drugstore opened. 8:00 am. It was quarter til 8, so I went over to starbucks for some tea and a cookie to kill some time, then on to pick up the prescription.

Except, the pharmacy wasn’t open til 9.

Oh, the store itself was open and if I needed to get tampons or the latest issue of Hunting and Fishing I would have been fine- but I was out of luck.

I grumbled a bit as I went back to the car and then on into work. I got an automated call at 9:30 to tell me my prescription was ready (thanks, jerks) so I went back at 11 (when I usually get lunch) to pick it up.

With antibiotics and lunch, I went back to work again and ate. The directions on the bottle said this:

“Take 2 Tablets by Mouth Every Day With Food”

Now, there are a variety of ways to get pills in one’s body and “by mouth” was the best of the available options – so, yea! – but it was a little unclear.

Is that “one pill at lunch and one at dinner?” or “two pills at lunch”?

I couldn’t find any other instructions so I called the drugstore for clarification. After sitting on hold for a bit, I finally talked to someone in the pharmacy who listened to me and then had me wait for the pharmacist. More hold music…

I explained my question again and they said that the doctor really should have explained that better – could go either way.

So, I hung up and called the doctor’s office.

Except, they are closed from 11:45 to 12:45. I waited on the line through the recording to see if I could leave a message and someone picked up. Cool! I started to explain the question – then realized it was the answering service. Who politely suggested I call back after 12:45.

So, I called back at 1 and slogged through the voice-mail prompts – and finally talked to a person. I explained, again, my question and the staff person put me on hold. They came back to re-ask what I wanted, then put me on hold again. I finally talked to a physician’s assistant who confirmed “2 at once”.

By this point, lunch was long done. I decided to wait until dinner tonight to start.

As a fun side note, the summary of my visit to the doctor included a note – based on my weight and height – that my Body Mass Index indicates I need to watch my weight.

Not something the doctor and I talked about, but apparently their computer thinks I’m fat.

And I’ve got a couple of little old ladies from New York that would agree with it.

So, tonight at dinner, I’m having dessert.

Last Thursday, I drove south to my parent’s house – about 3 hours – and then on Friday we drove 6 and a half hours to central Illinois. They dropped me off at my cousin’s house and there was much video gaming, paper folding, and card playing with her kids.

One of whom decided early on that we were now “best buddies”.  🙂

It ended up being a very late night and there was an early morning on Saturday to visit my aunt for brunch. From there, a birthday party at a gymnastics center that had a climbing wall, a bounce house, and a pit filled with foam cubes. A lot of fun to get into, but difficult to get out of. I proved once again that I’m just a tall kid and spent a lot of time running, jumping, and climbing – much to the delight of the actual kids.

After the party it was trip to my Dad’s cousin’s house, then back to my cousin’s for a family get together. Lots of food, lots of great conversation, and lots of people – including some of my relatives that I hadn’t seen in many years. It was another late night with some really amazing people – didn’t want it to end, but I was asleep on my feet.

Sunday was back in the car for 6.5 hours, then a quick dinner and 3 more hours home. A good trip, but it took a lot out of me.

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A side effect of hanging around a lot of kids when you aren’t used to that is… well… they are germ warehouses. I love ’em, but I picked up some kind of nasty bug over the weekend. It hit me about 2 in the afternoon on Tuesday with just a tickle in my throat. I was coughing pretty good by the evening and Wednesday morning I was sick as a dog. I got up long enough to send an email to work, then it was back to bed. I was up again a little at lunch and then once more at 5 to do some work.

This morning, still sick and I hadn’t slept well. Took another day off, but did a little more work from home so I wouldn’t be so far behind. I’m better now, but still really tired.

The worst is that horrible taste as my body slowly converts to mucus. Yeah, pretty much like that. Need to get some more cold medicine so I can function tomorrow and then it’s back to work.

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A few weeks ago, I fired up my text editor and wrote a little to the Ladies Who Have Returned to New York – Louise and Edna. It was a newsy kind of letter – just sharing some of my silly adventures since I hadn’t talked to them in a while. I printed it out, drew some pictures on it as illustrations, and dropped it in the mail.

Last week, I got a card back from Louise. It was a short note, written in a densely packed cursive, that was a little difficult to read. She thanked me, a couple of times, for the letter and how much she and Edna enjoyed it. She also said, a couple of times, how unhappy she was for having moved and that it was a terrible decision.

Made me sad to hear that – but perhaps not surprised. She decided early on that this wasn’t a good move for her and I’ll give her this – she’s consistent. I’m worried that she’s not making a good effort to make the best of the situation and that it’s going to ultimately impact her health.

So, I worry, a little – but know there’s not much I can do to help. I’ll write again soon and try to send a little Ohio cheer her way.

I’ve become news-averse over the past few years, but I recognize that ignorance isn’t doing me any good. So, I still follow a few feeds and try to sort out the value from the crap.

One item that I saved related to Virginia Foxx – a representative from North Carolina. In addition to wanting to dismantle the Department of Education, she’s also infamous for her statement about Matthew Shepard – calling the crime:

“a hoax that continues to be used as an excuse for passing hate crimes bills.”

politico |  Wikipedia  | Washington Post

More recently was a statement by writer Chadwick Moore who claimed it wasn’t a hate crime – instead, a drug deal gone bad:  joe.my.god

This appears to be based on much debunked book about Matt Shepard from 2013: Wikipedia

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In 1998, a 21 year old man named Matthew Shepard was kidnapped, robbed, beaten, and tied to a fence post on a cold October night and left to die. He never regained consciousness and passed away 6 days later. During the trial, it was determined that his attackers had pretended to be gay in order to lure him from the bar so they could rob him. When he responded, they panicked and attacked him.

The incident and trial made national headlines for shedding a light on crimes against members of the LGBT community and for those that proclaimed his attackers as “heroes” and “justified in their actions”. There was a made-for-tv movie, documentaries, and books as people tried to make sense of what happened. And, eventually, a law was passed that made this kind of attack a “hate-crime”.

In 1998, I was 25. A late bloomer, as it were, who was still wrestling with his sexuality and trying desperately to figure who he was. When I heard about this, I empathized with Matthew deeply. “That could have been me” echoed over and over in my head – and I was afraid.

Afraid of saying the wrong thing to the wrong person. Afraid of letting anyone know who I really was – and what I really was.

Afraid that someone would beat me to death because I was gay.

It would be years later before I got the courage to date, even circumspectly. And longer still before I would let my friends know. And even longer before I was ready to come out to my family.

I was ruled by that fear and spent a spectacular amount of energy in double-checking everything I said or did to everyone I knew or ever met. My backup plans had backup plans and I was always aware of where I was – and the nearest exit. Like Matthew, I have a slim build and knew that I couldn’t defeat those presumed attackers, but I was always ready to run.

Slowly, cautiously, and oh so carefully, I started to work past my fears. I felt safe with my friends and began to let people past those carefully constructed walls. After a not-great coming out to my family I’m in a much better place with them now. Some of my co-workers know and have been nothing but supportive. I’ve had several relationships and I’m in a great one now with a great guy.

And when Jim and I are out somewhere and I introduce him, I refer to him more and more as my “partner” instead of the safer “friend”.

But, we don’t hold hands in public.

That fear still lingers because every day a gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender person is mocked, attacked, beaten, or killed just because of who they are.

And so, to further some deeply twisted personal agendas, people like Foxx and Moore call into question what happened Matthew to diminish the impact. To blame the victim.

When I first read the article about Virginia Foxx I went into a murderous rage. I wanted to find her and I wanted to destroy her. No matter the cost.

“How dare she?” I thought, “How dare she mock what happened?”

Because it wasn’t just about Matthew – it was about me too. And about every single LGBT person that knew fear because of what happened. Everyone that lived a life being afraid of being themselves.

Needless to say, I didn’t make a road trip to NC. Instead, I’m trying to be a little more brave each day. Being a little more open and a little more out. It isn’t easy – my inclination is still to hide and look for those exists.

But I’m trying, a little all the time, to not be afraid anymore. And I’m still here.

I took the day off today and got up bright and early to go to the Portage Lakes State park for a hike in my kilt. And winter coat, boots, scarf, gloves and hat.

I got lost driving there, somehow, and of course ended up in Barberton. If I’m going to get lost while driving, I inevitably end up in Barberton. No one knows why.

Anyway, I finally got there and parked my car in the first lot – then set out for my hike.

And, unsurprisingly, I had the whole park to myself. I saw a couple of maintenance trucks when my path took me near a parking lot, but otherwise I was alone.

It was peaceful and quiet. Kind of somber with the bare trees and maybe a little lonely.

I took the Shoreline Trail and though I lost the trail a few times, I wasn’t really lost. I would soon find a signpost and I was back on track. I saw some swans, some loons, and a woodpecker, but no people.

I started to get a little tired and decided to head back for my car.

And then I got lost.

Not, “I’m going to die alone in the wilderness and wolves with gnaw on my bones”, but “This is fairly annoying”

I stayed lost for a bit and my sense of direction was actively working against me. I did find a road and figured I was in the home stretch, but I ended up going the wrong direction.

Finally, I got out my phone and fired up Google Maps to look for the entrance to the park – by foot. I headed West – against my criminal sense of direction – and it said I was still 17 minutes away.

And then the sky opened up and the snow came down in a sudden squall. Visibility dropped to a few yards and I started looking for the wolves. And regretting that I didn’t wear underwear under my kilt. I don’t know why that suddenly bothered me, but it did.

I confirmed my direction again with my phone, then put my head down and forged ahead.

The sky cleared in a few minutes with nary a wolf in sight and I soon found the main road and then my car.

I was tired and cold and hungry – and feeling more that a little stupid. But I was still glad I went. Not sure how far it was, but lets call it 4 miles.

I took a hot shower when I got home and there’s pizza baking in the oven. Good way to spend my morning – but next time I’m picking up a map of the trails before I head out.

Jim has been having some trouble with his foot recently and along with some other treatments his doctor also gave him a sample of Biofreeze. On the bottom of his foot, it provided some relief. On the top, however, he instead got a excruciatingly painful response with tightened skin and prominent veins.

I was curious about this since I’ve never seen a reaction like that and – in a show of solidarity – I suggested he put some on the top of my foot. Because I’m a bad-ass, also.

He was hesitant, but went ahead with the roll-on applicator.

Nothing. No reaction at all.

He then added some of the gel version – still nothing. It didn’t get hot or cold – maybe just a little cooler from evaporation.

We were both puzzled, but I put my sock and shoe back on and went on home.

Thundercat was interested in the smell of my shoe and since he likes to chew on shoe laces, I took my shoe off and was just in my sock feet.

That was a mistake.

The smell of the biofreeze was intensely fascinating to him and he kept licking and biting at my sock-covered foot. When I tried to get him to leave me alone, he lashed out at me with full-on claws.

After a couple hits, I sat on my foot on the couch to defend it. He keep walking past to check to see if I was vulnerable, but I stayed in defensive mode until I went to take my shower and wash it off.

We have a… strange relationship, my cat and I.

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Jim’s also been having trouble with his laptop and he called me last evening for some tech support. The screen had gone black, but he was still getting the pop-up calendar reminders. And there was a youtube video of a watercolor painting tutorial still playing somewhere – we could hear the audio only.

I suggested a couple of things – restarting, checking to see if it was in presentation mode, etc. – but no luck. We exhausted what I could suggest over the phone and he was going to have to call Apple support after he was done with his homework.

I finished up a project I was working on at home, then realized it was early enough to go over to his place and see if I could help in person.

I got there and he handed me the laptop. I sat down, opened the screen…

…And everything was fine. The wallpaper was up on the screen and we had files and program icons there as well. We had to switch desktops to see the log-in and that let him in. There was a note about an update having installed and I’m guessing it was in the middle of that when he started using it.

So, I “fixed” it literally by being in the room and touching it.

Skillz.
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I got contacted by the Maker Faire people for the event coming up in May. They had featured me in their Meet a Maker newsletter and a local reporter wanted to interview me. Super cool!

(note: that was Meet a Maker. Not Meet Your Maker. Which would be an entirely different kind of faire.)

I responded back right away and said I’d be happy to. Then the reporter found out I lived and worked in Akron – and their paper only covered certain counties. So, no interview for me.

I’m making progress on rebuilding the giant cube to make it more portable. 2/3 of the way down with the folding and then I’ll need to put them together. Slow going, but I’m getting there.

I’ve noticed in recent years an odd, but interesting, trend. When I’m talking to friends or family, their little kids tend to grab me by the hand and drag me off to another room.

Well, I let them drag me off – they aren’t exactly in my weight class.

And once they’ve got me away from the adults, I’m pulled right into what-ever video game or story or adventure they desperately need to show me.

I think they recognize that while I speak “adult” when needed – mostly – I’m really just a tall kid. Eventually, I’ll wander back to the adults and the kids are usually okay with that. They know I’m fluent in dragon, minecraft, stickers, and giant fighting robots – or whatever language they are using at the moment. I could teach a master’s class in Lego (play well) and I even speak a little My Little Pony – though with an admittedly odd dialect.

[they’ve got a character named and modeled after Discord – the goddess of chaos and strife. That’s hardcore.]

It’s got to look a little odd when I get co-opted, but I think it’s pretty awesome when the kids want to include me – especially those kids who don’t usually warm up to adults so easily.

And, the kids are more fun anyway.

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I like going to art exhibits and museums and supporting the artists that I’m lucky enough to know. Sometimes, I take a more direct approach with my favorite artist. I’ve been an art model, a getaway driver, tech support, and constructive critic. And now, a supplier.

Jim is taking a painting class and on his first day he texted me from the studio. Seems as though he’d missed the email that told him he needed painting supplies for that first class. I was playing a video game and asked if he needed me to bring him some supplies. He told me “maybe” and that he’d text me. Figuring that would turn into a “yes” I got a head start and headed over to his house to get whatever watercolor paint, brushes, and paper that he had. I was in route to the school when I got the go-ahead and met my very relieved painter at the door to his class room.

When he got his first assignment done, he told me that for his next one he had to paint 2 inverted pears. Figuring it might be difficult to find such an oddly specific image to paint from, I stopped at the grocery store and bought him some real pears. When I surprised him at his house, he gave me an odd look – I was apparently pretty excited about the pears. Which… it turned out he didn’t need – all the students in the class were supposed to work from the same image.

Still, pears.

It’ll be interesting to see where his next project takes him – and I’m happy enough to just carry stuff around if needed. 🙂

— Edit: Jim does get to paint the real pears after all.  Yea, pears!

I was at Chipotle last week and of the large group of kids at one of the tables, I recognized two of them. Not because had met them, but because their dad – my fraternity brother and former room-mate – posts copious pictures of them on facebook. I didn’t see him but I did spot his wife, whom I knew from college.

Now, I’m kinda terrible at keeping friendships going over time. It manifests itself as a variant of social anxiety and I would generally prefer to just “duck and cover” to avoid potentially awkward situations.

But, recognizing that I need to work on this, I stopped by her table on my way out. I said her name, then – where there wasn’t a spark of recognition – introduced myself and where I knew her from. She remarked that it had been a long time and I offered that I had aged (giving her an out on not recognizing me) – and suggested that she hadn’t in the 20+ years. Which was true – she looked just as I remembered her from college. She was flattered and thanked me. We talked for a moment and she promised to tell her husband that she saw me – and then I was on my way.

So, not only did she not recognize me – she also didn’t remember me at all – clearly.

Which struck me as odd. I recognized and remembered her easily enough and I still keep in touch with her husband on Facebook. It “felt” like we still had a connection, but it was an online illusion. I may have been current on her family based on some posts on facebook – and her husband could have been current with me – but it wasn’t quite enough.

Still, I’m glad I said hello and hope I didn’t creep her out too much.

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The other night I woke up at 2:53 am. I glanced over at the clock to see if it was time to get up and then took a quick inventory. I had a vague sense that I needed to use the bathroom, but not urgent. There was also a slight bit of heartburn, but nothing to write home about. The cat wasn’t anywhere nearby and my dreams had been about as boring as they get for me.

[I had tried to return a library book at a bank and it didn’t work. That was pretty much it.]

I lay there in bed a moment, sort of marveling at how deeply still and quiet it was. And since I’m never up at 2:53 am, I considered getting up and exploring the hour – maybe even going for a walk.

But, I had work the next day so I instead just went to the bathroom and then got some tums. Back in bed and I was asleep in a few minutes.

I don’t know what woke me and whatever it was wasn’t enough to keep me awake, but I would have liked to puzzle it out and maybe see the world again at the early morning hour.  Instead, the mystery remained unsolved and sleep took over.  I was fine the next day at work, but I kinda wish I had followed my impulse.