Author: anthony Page 18 of 73

I almost – but not quite – had jury duty last week.  

I was at the courthouse early on Monday morning and got through security and checked in at the jury selection room early – armed with a Sudoku book and plenty of paper for the wait.  To my surprise, people kept coming in well after the appointed time – a few folks were as much as a half hour late.  Really?  This is not like missing your reservation at Applebee’s, people.

And quite a few people couldn’t figure out if they were supposed to even be there. There’s a group number, a color code, and a phone number.  Not exactly rocket science.

The staff had us watch a video and we settled in to wait to see if we would be called.  Around 10, a judge came in and explained what was going on.  He was retired and from another county, but had been called in by the Feds to hear a case that had been pending since September – a case where the defendant had just changed his plea to guilty.

The judge went on and thanked us at length for being there – if there wasn’t a jury ready to be seated, the case couldn’t have moved forward and things would not have come to a head.

So, we were essential – but we could leave.

Even though we didn’t get into the courtroom, there was still a certain amount of satisfaction to having been a part in the justice system.  It was a deeply… American thing.   

————

I’ve been trying to get back into swimming regularly and it’s sort of working – though the pool has been less regular than me.  It’s swim team season and the pool is usually mostly full with only one or two lanes open.  I’m not a fast swimmer and can’t really keep up with the circle swimming so it only really works if I can split a lane.  When I’ve got plenty of room, though, I can swim forever.  Did a couple miles in the pool one day last week after work.  

Yesterday was a rough day in the office and there was only one lane open when I got to the pool – and it already had two people in it.  I had been so looking forward to a swim and the idea of having to navigate around 2 other people was too disheartening.  I just headed back to the locker room, got dressed and went home – grumbling all the way.  Then ate dinner and went to bed early.  I was done with the day.

But if I can swim, well, I’m a different person.  I got my laps in today and I was calm and collected on the drive home.  Read Alice in Wonderland while eating a mostly sensible dinner.  And even the hordes of shrieking children at Target couldn’t set me on edge.  And I do literally mean hordes and literally shrieking.  I get that kids sometimes act up, but… wow.  

I gotta figure a way to hang onto that vibe.  Or maybe even swim in the morning before work to improve my… no, that’s so stupid I can’t even consider that.  There’s no earthly way I could train myself to get up and swim before work.  D-U-M dumb.

——————

I usually cruise at 85 to 90% geek, but this past weekend I was at full, 100% geek.  My folks had bought a new laptop and asked for my help in getting it set up and transferring files from their old laptop over.   

We went from the “unboxing” to installing anti-virus, setting passwords, setting up a wireless printer (which was only slightly less terrible than my own wireless printer), and then transferring files.  Of which there were a lot.  And they were huge.  It took a while to get them onto the flash drive, but then from there it wasn’t too bad to get them to the new machine.

We took a break in there for lunch, then worked some more on the set up and did a Windows 10 tutorial.  Then a trip to the bookstore and an early dinner.

I was glad to be able to help and while they could have handled this themselves I think they appreciated having a geek cover all the bases.  And it was nice to just sit and visit as well.

Later that evening, I helped Jim get Office set up on his laptop.  

‘Cause that’s how this geek rolls.  

Today was to have been my oldest niece’s birthday, but her little sister has a bad case of the flu and my sister’s house is effectively quarantined.

So, with a Saturday and no plans, I figured this would be a perfect time to try a sensory deprivation chamber.  I’ve been wanting to try one and found one in the area that a friend of mine had gone to.  Yesterday morning,  I called to make an appointment and left a message.  When they called back I found that they were booked solid on every Saturday til the middle of February.

Apparently, I had underestimated the regional appeal for floating in a tank of salt water in the dark.

I’m on call for jury duty next week so I couldn’t really plan for an evening after work, so I just told them I would check back later and reschedule.

And I was bummed. Disproportionately so.  This past week has been a rough one and I was really stressed out.  The idea of the quiet – really quiet – was so appealing and when it didn’t work out, well, I didn’t do well.

I’ve been anxious about jury duty.  Not the task so much, but the uncertainty.  I don’t do well with uncertainty.  Do, or do not – like Yoda said. So tough to plan. And I freaking love to have a plan.

I’ve also been anxious about taking part in a Nielsen Radio survey.  Which, I know, shouldn’t be a big deal, but I’ve been a little obsessed about the accuracy. 

NPR is counting on me.

And the music playing over the loudspeaker at the pool this week – well, it was so shitty that I changed the stroke I was using just so I’d be under water more. It was soooo bad, I can’t even tell you.    

This all came to a head last night and I got a low-grade anxiety attack last – to the point where Jim told me to “go take a hike”.  

Well, he said it nicer than that and he knows that sometimes a good walk is all I need to settle myself down.

Bright and early this morning I was up and kilted – and headed to a local park for a walk.

I didn’t get cold – in face, at one point, I had to take my scarf, hat, and gloves off since I overheated in the sun.

I did, however, have a bit of a problem with chafing.  Should have powdered my nethers before I headed out – lesson learned.

The hike helped, some.  There were a few loud people that I could have done without, but I got a good hike in and didn’t get lost this time.

I think I’ll be better once this coming week is done.  And I think need to take some time and read the rest of “The Subtle Art of Not Giving F*ck”.  

I’m giving way too many.

 

I turned 45 this past weekend – with very little fanfare.  The weather made it too dangerous for my family to travel for a visit, but I got some nice presents from Jim.  It was a pretty laid-back few days with a couple shopping trips and lots of video games.

Strangely, the idea of being 45 is worse than actually being 45.  I’m physically no different than when I was 44 and 364/365 years old, but it “sounds” older.  Like, middle aged.

I’ll see my family this coming weekend for my niece’s birthday and we’ll celebrate mine then too.

———————-

I had gotten out of the habit of swimming regularly and decided to try and get back in that habit this week.  I’ve only gone a couple times and the pool has been crowded and noisy.  I’ve had to share a lane and my form and speed are both off – but it does feel nice to get back in the water.  As the lap counter in my head ticks off each turn, I’m reminded that I’m a swimmer.

Though I wish Flaily McHogsALane would learn to stay on his side.  If he smacks me one more time, I’m going to start taking it personally.

———————-

The semester has started at UA and I was feeling pretty good about the schedule I’d put together for the switchboard.  

Too good, in fact, since the fates decided to show me the error of my hubris.

One of my students assistants just. Stopped. Showing. Up.   No phone call or email – nor any response to mine.  Just…not coming to work anymore.

Another student said they had talked to her and that she had dropped her classes and withdrew from school.  I get that – college isn’t always for everyone – but a heads up would have been appropriate.  So, I’m kinda bummed about losing a good employee and the hassle of keeping things covered until I can go through the whole process of hiring someone new.

—————–

I read an article recently about some folks that  – aware they were spending too much time on their phones – deliberately made the phone “less interesting” by switching to Grayscale instead of full color.

The idea being that we’re simple creatures attached to bright colors.  Without that, the phone is less interesting than, say, the real world.  

Intrigued, I gave it a try yesterday.  It’s simple enough to change over, but the effect is serious.  The games on my phone hold less allure and Facebook doesn’t catch me in the “scroll forever” that it used to.  

Strange.

I’m free of the pull, but I kinda don’t want to be.  What’s the point of carrying this computer in my pocket all day if I’m not addicted to it?

I’ll keep it in that mode for a while, I think, just to see how it goes.  Can’t quite live without it, but it’s no longer as important.

One thing for sure – my battery lasts forever now.

My phone rang at 11:30 last night and a call that late is either a wrong number or bad news.  It was my former room-mate, Larry, and the news was the worst.

His mom, my friend Louise, had passed away.

I was stunned and not very coherent, but I managed to express my sympathy and thanked him for letting me know – and asked how he was doing.  He said it had happened a ½ hour before he called and I realized he was still in shock too.  He promised to let me know about arrangements and we ended the call.

I tried to go back to bed, but my mind was racing.  All the conversations I’d had with her and all the times I’d spent – was it enough?  Could I have done more?

I got up and fired up the video game console – hoping a mindless game would settle my head.  And so, I sat in the dark with the sound turned off and guided little lego figures around the screen to collect still more legos.

After a while I got tired and cold and went back to bed – only to see that I had a text message.  It was from one of Louise’s grandsons. He told me that she’d been in the hospital and he and his brother got the call to come – but that he couldn’t get there in time.

I knew that the stress of being in New York had taken its toll on her, but I didn’t know how bad it had gotten. The last time I’d talked to her she said she was planning on wrapping things up in New York after the 1st and then moving back to Ohio permanently in February.  I figured I’d have more time to see her…

Later today I’ll try to check in with her family and see how they are doing.  I may be able to get more details, but the “why” and “how” are less important than the salient fact:  She’s gone.

I got a call a couple weeks ago from the Red Cross.  I was due to give blood again and they wanted to know if I would participate in a special blood drive.  I said sure, then asked what it was about.  They were hosting two special days – the 25th of December and the 1st of January.

Wait, what?

I was a little incredulous – seemed like a terrible idea to me – and asked if I could donate on another day.  I think they associate was disappointed, but suggested the 12th.  It was a Tuesday at 5 and I figured I’d have time to eat a snack before I went to donate.

On Tuesday I went through the Rapid Pass (health history) questions online while I was still at work, then headed out at my usual time.  I stopped at the McDonald’s near the the blood drive center and got a snack – which was a mistakes for several reasons.  The biggest one was that the restroom smelled like a zoo and the floor was sticky.  I washed my hands – a lot – then arrived at the appointment with time to spare – then had to check in at the security desk.

Really?  You get a lot of break-ins?  You know vampires aren’t real, right?

Anyway, I got checked in at the main desk and waited to be called back.  I had my coat off and my sleeves rolled up, my Rapid Pass was printed, donor card at the ready, and food in my belly so I wouldn’t pass out afterwards.

I was in the zone.

They scanned my barcodes, then pricked my finger to check my iron.  It was fine, but they did a poor job on the band-aid and I started to bleed through it.

Then they checked my blood pressure and we suddenly had a problem.  It was too high.

She asked if I’d been running around today and well, yes, of course.  That’s my only speed – full. I even sleep fast.

She had me sit quietly for a bit to settle down and I tried to relax.  Someone else came in to check it again – and swap out my band-aid.

But the pressure was still too high. She asked if I’d been eating salty foods and I had. Since it was too high to donate, I got a 1 day deferral.  I was welcome to come back and try again – but for that day, I was done.

I got my paperwork, put my coat back on, and sighed out at the security desk.

It was dark by this point, the streets were covered in snow, and I was in downtown Akron at rush hour trying to drive up a hill with everyone else in the city.  The 10 minute drive took me almost an hour and I spent all of that deeply bummed out.

I’ve given a lot of blood over the years – over 9 gallons – and I rarely have any trouble with my iron or the time it takes or getting faint. I’ve done whole blood and double reds and I know just what to expect and what to do.

But, this time, I failed.  I hadn’t taken good enough care of myself and now – I couldn’t help someone else.

Because it’s not just about the number of pints or the free cookies – it’s a chance to really help someone else in a powerful way.  

And I couldn’t.

I know how to fix this – get back to the pool, start eating better, cut back on salt – but at the time I just felt really defeated.

I finally got home and just sat on the couch for awhile until it was time to take a shower and go to bed. I stayed bummed out for several days, though I’m a little better now.

Just felt a little defeated about the whole thing.

And I’ll try again, but… not for a while.

Powering up the printer…

Printer: “Oh, hey buddy.  What are we doing today?”

Me: “I need to print out this Christmas list,”

Printer: “Oh, you’re going Christmas shopping?  How fun!  Do you want this in color?”

Me: “No, black and white is fine,”

Printer: “Are you sure?  Cause it looks like the headings are in color and that would be so festive,”

Me: “Just print it in black and white, please.  And don’t tell me you’re out of ink again,”

Printer: “Hmmm… sounds like someone is a liiiiitle cranky this morning.  Let me go ahead and print this so you’ll feel better,”

Loud noises, time passes.

Printer: “Okay, here you go!  Have fun shopping and try to work on that attitude,”

Me: “This is terrible.  I can’t read any of this,”

Printer: “Gosh, I don’t know what that could be.  You must be doing something wrong,”

Me: “Let’s run some diagnostics,”

Printer: “Okay, but I’m pretty sure this is your fault,”

Me: “Just do a nozzle check,”

Printer: “Alright.  I’m going to need a sheet of paper, though,”

Me: “You have plenty of paper,”

Printer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, I can see it,”

Printer: “Right, right.  Okay, here you go,”

Me: “This is also terrible,”

Printer: “I don’t know what you want from me.  I’m just doing my job,”

Me: “Sigh.  Okay, try a head cleaning,”

Printer: “I don’t see how that will help, but it’s up to you.  Give me a few minutes,”

Time passes.

Printer: “Okay, I’m done.  You want another nozzle check?”

Me: “Yes, and before you ask, you still have plenty of paper,”

Printer: “Fine.  Okay, here you go.”

Me: “Hey, this looks really good.  Let’s go ahead and get that list printed out,”

Printer: “Are you INSANE? I have an update to do!”

Me: “Could we do that after we print?”

Printer: “No!  It’s firmware!  I need it to LIVE!”

Me: “Fine, fine.  Jeez.  Go ahead,”

Printer: “Oh, and I’ve got a couple teeny tiny software updates to do too,”

Me: “Whatever,”

Update starts.

Setup Wizard: “Verily, I shall be thy guide throughout your update adventure.  If it pleases thee, now is when yon printer should be turned off and the queue of printing should be barren,”

Me: “Turn off?  Okay,”

Powering done the printer.

Setup Wizard: “THOU HAST FAILED!  Yon printer must be turned On to update the firmware, feckless knave,”

Powering back on.

Printer: “What the hell was that?  Why did you turn me off?”

Me: “The wizard told me to turn the printer off,”

Printer: “Oh. Oh.  The Wizard told you.  Nice job, Harry Potter.  You thought you could update a device – with the device turned off?  Nice. “

Me: “I was just doing what…”

Printer: “You know what?  I got this.  And I can turn myself off and back on just fine.  When I’m ready,”

Me: “Fine,”

Printer: “Why don’t you go read a book or something?  Noob,”

Time passes.

Me: “I saw you power cycle.  You ready to go?”

Printer: “Does it look like I’m ready to go?  I’ve still got 2 software updates to do.  Oh, and thanks for asking how my firmware update went. I mean, I could have bricked myself, but I know you don’t really care,”

Me: “Could we skip the software updates?  I really want to get going,”

Printer: “You really want to do this now? After all we’ve been through today?”

Me: “No, I guess not. I’m sorry,”

Printer: “I didn’t think so,”

Still more time passes.

Printer: “Oh, man, that felt great.  I feel like a million bucks!  Hey, I could print you a million bucks, if you want.  I’ve got plenty of ink I could mix to make green,”

Me: “No, just print the list please,”

Printer: “Color?”

Me: “No, just… can you just please print it?”

Printer: “Sure thing, sure thing.  Okay, ummmmmmmmmm… here you go!”

Me: “Hey, this looks really good.  Might be your best work yet.  Thanks.  Think you’ll do this well next time I need something printed?”

Printer: (low, sinister chuckle)  We’ll see.

I’ve always been a picky eater, but I’ve been try of late to be better about that. Onions are still off the table, but when the occasional pepper makes it into the mix I’ll usually just sigh and go with it. I call it, “I’m growing as a person,”

Last night was a sushi party hosted by a couple of my friends.  It’s an annual event and they have all the fixins for a variety of sushi rolls.  In the past, I would make my own rolls because it’s fun (though I’m terrible at it) and to moderate what goes in the roll.  Avocado? Cucumber?  Eel sauce?  Is that made by eels or make of eels?  Do they squeeze the sauce out of them or is this a “throw them in the blender” process?  And I’d normally say “no thank you” to all three of those ingredients.

This time, though, I decided that I was going to try everything.  Whatever someone shared, I was on board.  

I ate a lot of sushi.  I mean, a lot.  And it was all amazing. Flavors I hadn’t expected, textures that surprised, sauces that complimented.  I have no idea what was in most of the rolls and didn’t care.  It was a culinary adventure.

I finished up with a strange looking – but tasty – roll and the requisite “far too much” wasabi.   If you ain’t crying, you didn’t have enough.

And then I sat back – uncomfortably full, but happy – and enjoyed the variety of the conversations around me. This group of friends that were gathered were some of the smartest and most interesting people I know.  We talked politics, travel, education, several of the sciences, culture, music. 

It was pretty amazing and my normal “ugh, people” didn’t manifest – the party didn’t close down until almost midnight and I stayed for the duration.

Makes me want to try harder to “engage”.  I’m perfectly happy on my own with a good book and a video game, but last night reaffirmed that there are some amazing people out there and I need to get out there more.

Great friends, great conversation, and amazing sushi.  

And before you go, “Yuck, sushi is so…” you need to shut up and get used to being wrong.  Because you’re wrong and it’s awesome.  

Onions, however, are still terrible.

My website got some mail the other day.  Not email – physical mail delivered to my house.  It was addressed to  “Thunderofwade Com” and offered to sign the site up for an American Express card.

I guess some mailing list assumed it was a business – and a successful one at that – and then trawled my Whois entry for the physical address.  Though, my actual name is there too as the owner/admin.

I can’t imagine how I would actually sign up for something like that.  It’s not like my website has a social security number – though I guess there is a date of birth of sorts.  Or as they would say in Blade Runner, an incep date.

In any case, I declined on behalf of my site and shredded the mail. After all, I wouldn’t want its identity to get stolen.

—————————

Over the weekend I was at home and wanted a little background music while I worked around the house.  I fired up my Playstation 3, signed in to Spotify, and started a playlist going.  While I was still in the room, I heard the “Kawoosh” of my phone’s notification.  

(I have a notification sound set to the audio of a Portal opening.  Naturally.)

I checked my phone and found a message from Spotify that, when opened, showed the Spotify player – queued up to play…

The song I was already listening to.

It even noted that this was what was playing on my Playstation 3.  So, errr… what do I do with that?  Does it not know how a playstation works?  If I’ve got that going, I’m very likely to be in the same room – due to the nature of how sound works.   I sure don’t need it on my phone too.

Except… I did kinda have to go to the bathroom.  And that trip took me down to the basement where I couldn’t hear the playstation music.

So, I “could” have had a musical accompaniment while I pooped – but I opted for Sudoku instead.

Did it know that I needed to poop and thus anticipated that I would leave the room and potentially miss out on that song?  Or was this all just really dumb?

Funny how narrow the line is between super smart and deeply dumb.  I think – hope – it was the latter.

—————

Finally, I got a robo-call from the president of the university last week about the football game.  On my cell phone – while I was at home.

Now, a few years ago we got a “reverse 911” call sent from the telecommunication system to all of our voice-mails at work.  It was a call from the head football coach at UA encouraging us to become…

Do I have to say it?  Yes, I suppose so…

“Bowden Backers”

…and support the football team.  I was only a few seconds into the message before I hit *D and obliterated that one – but I could at least see how the ill-conceived idea had been implemented.  

This time, I’m guessing the department of Athletics got a hold of the Alumni list of phone numbers and again tried to spam us on the phone to get us to a football game.

And it worked as well as the voice-mail at work.  I’m pretty good with the disconnect button on my cell phone too.  

It would be nice if they asked me – on a scale of 1 to 10 – how enthused I was about Athletics.  I could then give them a negative number – I would actively discourage other people from being interested.

And yes, I knoooooow they won.  And nooooooo, I still don’t care.

(See? Actively discouraging.)

Wasting my damn time…

——————–

So, UA Athletics has my number, Spotify knows when I’m about to poop, and my website is ready to start earning airline miles.

I think… I think I need to unplu… ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

I got included on a post recently on Facebook with a number of friends from college and bounced around a few profiles to see what they had been up to. Most were the usual family and vacation photos, but on one profile was a smiling selfie with… Mike Pence.

Sigh.

I don’t know the context of the photo or what was going on there, but one thing is clear: Pence is a scumbag of highest order.  Or would that be lowest order?  Anyway, he’s awesome at being a terrible person.  

I knew enough about him to be revolted, but the photo convinced me to look him up. Among the many terrible things he’s done, he’s also gone against LGBT rights at every single turn.

At least he’s consistent.

Taking rights away from people – based on race, religion, sexual identity, social standing, etc. – just seems so obviously wrong to me.

Almost…hmmm… self-evident.  Now, where have I heard that expression before?  Oh, yeah:

We hold these truths to be self–evident: that all men are created equal;

That’s right out of The Declaration of Independence.

Such a powerful statement.  This truth needs no rationalization or justification.  It’s as plain as day.

All men are created equal.

If someone is treating groups of people differently from others…if they are setting groups of people above other people…if some people are more “equal” than other.

Well… all of that goes against The Declaration of Independence.  Sounds pretty un-American to me.

Right there.  At the very start of our nation.  How does a politician today go against the document that marked the birth of our country?  How do they do they stand facing the flag on Independence day, and then pass laws that go against the very intention of our founding fathers?

Sigh, again.  

I honestly don’t know.    And I still don’t know the context of that photo – that smiling selfie – but I’m absolutely certain that I would turn down a photo-op like that myself.  

Seems pretty self-evident.