Author: anthony Page 15 of 73

When I heard that my friend Louise had passed away back in December, I decided to write a eulogy for her in case I was called upon to speak.  I wasn’t, and there wasn’t a memorial, but I had a dream about her not long ago and it was as good of sign as any that it was time to post this.  

—————————————————————-

I’m going to start this with my favorite conversation that I had with Louise.  It was one of the few times I was a little snarky with her – and you were snarky with Louise at your own peril.

We were out to eat and she was telling about how someone was assuming and expecting her to just “let something go”.

I said to her, “Louise, do they even know you?”

She gave me the evil eye – which I totally deserved – and then she laughed.  That rich throaty chuckle that she had.

Because she knew it.  That was just her. She was snarky and cranky – and very very stubborn.

But she was also amazingly and refreshingly honest.  Which is not always an easy thing to find. There was never an guile, or deception or hidden agendas – you always knew exactly where you stood with Louise.

Because she would tell you.

I was one of the very few lucky people that she counted as a friend.  And that didn’t happen overnight. It took awhile – years, I think – before I figured her out and she figured me out.  We met somewhere in the middle and became friends. I was always a little intimidated by her and didn’t cross her. Louise was fierce.

Over the years I set up a lot of electronics for her and put plastic on her windows in the winter.  I took her out to eat and to run errands – or pick up her Mom at bingo on a cold and snowy night.

And in return, she checked up on me.  I would get a call from her every so often just to see how I was doing.  How my family was and if my car was running okay. If my house was still good and how my cat was doing.  Just a little connection, just to see if I was okay.

I remember once when I was going through a difficult time and she was having a health scare.  I visited her in the hospital, determined to be there for her and be supportive.   She saw through me in about 3 seconds and spent most of the time I was there comforting me.  Here she was, looking tired and frail on her hospital bed – facing health issues that would force her to change her lifestyle – and she gave me a hug and said it was going to be okay.  And it was – I knew better than to argue.

Louise wanted the best for us – for all of us.  She didn’t pull any punches but behind that bluster was… I was going to say a “sweet woman”, but I don’t know that that’s entirely accurate.  

She was a “good woman” and she was my friend.  And I miss her.

The UA webteam has been working on making our website more accessible since, well, since we started.  We’ve made some recent big pushes and have a good plan in place to keep those efforts moving forward and engage the rest of the campus community.

But, since this is a big issue, the Powers That Be also decided we needed a committee to create a policy.  And I got volunteered to be on the committee.

Sigh.

And because I’m me, I had an overview prepared with notes and a timeline – in case I was called on to contribute.  

Good thing too since I was called on right at the start.  I gave my overview with appropriate levels of detail in a well organized and comprehensive manner.

Which was a huge mistake.  

Since this is an official Ad-Hoc committee, it needed a Chair, a Vice-Chair, and a Secretary.  When it came time to elect those, the room went deathly silent. You could have heard a pin drop onto the carpet.

Finally, someone spoke up and nominated me.

Shit.

I managed to hedge enough to get someone to volunteer to be a co-chair with me.  And of the people in the room, I guess I was the best to lead up the effort. And I’m also hoping I get a policy drafted quick and then shut things down.

But, still, the fact that no one – at all – wanted anything to do with leading the group suggests that committees are frequently dread-generators.  

After the meeting, my nominator apologized – but said I was always so helpful.  That, along with being prepared, were likely my downfalls. So, I made a listserv, sent out some links, and will be talking with the co-chair on Operation: Shut This Puppy Down.

Dang it.  Still competent.

———————–

In better volunteer news, I got asked to participate in a summer camp project.  A few weeks ago, I met with a staff member in the graduate school about a website they wanted to do.  We talked about other things as well and she remarked about the origami I have in my office.

Earlier this week, she contacted me again about a very small STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math) summer camp they are starting – and would I be available to teach the kids some origami?

Absolutely.

It’s a small group – 5-6 sixth graders – and only for a ½ hour.  But, could be something that grows over time. (and way easier than a steady stream of very little kids for 5 hours like the Maker Faire)

I’m planning on teaching them the crane – with flapping wings – and talk about scale.  Then a demo of the wreath and how the angles relate to the number of modules. Then we’ll build a cube or two and if there’s time, a shape that starts like the crane and then goes in another direction.

Topography, geometry, spatial perceptions. Yep, I think I’ve got the STEM covered.

So, that’s coming up in a couple of weeks and I’ll get my materials and demos ready.  Might even do a lesson plan. AND I’ll get included in their National Science Foundation (NSF) write up.

SCIENCE, bitches!

After dinner the other evening, Jim asked if we could make a quick stop at Giant Eagle.  I pulled into the lot and waited in the car while he went in.

A few moments later, with much shouting and slamming of doors, a mother and her young son got into the truck next to my car. The child was crying and inconsolable – and whatever happened in the store continued in the truck.

She continued to shout at him, saying things like: “You can’t blame everything on your ADD,” and “I can’t even go grocery shopping because of you,”

Neither of these things helped the kid settle down, obviously, and he continued to cry.

Then it was, “Shut up, shut up, shut up!”

Suddenly, there was loud rock music coming from the truck and I looked over, startled.  The woman was sitting in the front seat with the radio cranked up and her fingers in her ears – still trying to drown out the crying child.

I sat in my car, trying to figure out what to do.  I’m not really trained for this and I’m not a parent – and I have no idea what’s really going there.  Other than everyone involved being beyond their wits end.

Was there anything I could do that wouldn’t make this worse – especially since the kid wasn’t being physically hurt?  Could I intervene and de-escalate? Or would things get worse if she felt shamed?

So, we sat there.  A crying child, an angry mother, and a conflicted bystander.

And we were still there when Jim came back to my car and the father came back to the truck.

I hoped that the father would be able to settle things down, but I wasn’t really confident about that.  

We drove off and my heart was kind of broken for all of them.

————————–

After a difficult week of work, I decided to take today off.  I was still up bright and early, though,  and hopped into my kilt and boots to take myself for a hike.  I went to a nearby park that has a trail I like and started walking.

I couldn’t really escape the noise of cars from the nearby streets.  And though I tried to avoid other people that didn’t really work either – though I did give the ones I saw a polite “good morning,”

There were a couple times that I was alone on the trail and the wind through the trees – and thankfully up my kilt – was enough to drown out the traffic.  At one such time, I also found a couple ripe blackberries that I ate.

It was what I needed.

I noticed this trip – more than usual – that I’m not an “off the beaten path” kind of guy.  Not only did I stay on the trail, I stayed on the same trail I always take. Creature of habit, I guess.

After my hike, I made a stop at giant eagle and got some peaches and a cold drink.  And when I got home, I sat on my porch and had my breakfast before going on with my day.

I need to do this more often while I have the chance.  And maybe next time, I’ll try a different path.

I’ve had the same internet service for quite a few years now  – Time Warner Cable – and it’s been pretty reliable. What’s also reliable is the increase in costs with no increase in speed.  It’s generally fine but I’ve noticed that downloading the gigantic update files for my PS4 games tends to take right around an infinity amount of time.  

Even their name change to Spectrum didn’t really change much, but at the suggestion of my boss, I called them up on Friday to see if “migrating my service to Spectrum” would help.

So of course the automated voice prompts couldn’t figure out what I trying to do.  I eventually got to a person – the wrong one, as it turns out – and they gave me another number to call.  I hung up, called the other number and when I got to a person they were also the wrong person – but able to transfer me.  While I was being transferred, a message came on giving me the direct number of where I was being transferred to. As though it was somehow my fault or something for not getting there directly.

Same voice prompts as the first call = fishy.  But, then, the right person. They got the process started and then the call went very very quiet.  I thought they had hung up, but were quick to reassure me they were still there when I voiced a tentative hello.

When it was done they told me I would need to restart my modem and router and then I should see the new speeds.  I hung up, cycled the hardware, and while that was going I got a call with an automated survey about my customer service experience.  I wasn’t sure which of the people I was rating, but I went ahead and gave them good marks.

Then, off to my computer to run a speed test.  I went from 20 mbps to 35 mbps – for the same price.  Not anywhere near the 100 mbps the new service would top out at, but still – faster is better.

————–

On Saturday, I hopped in my car for a quick trip to the local Wal-mart.  I had a short list of things I needed to get there and while I’m not really a fan it was the most optimal of my choices.

I was driving down Arlington road about at 47 miles per hour in what I thought was a 45 mph zone  and went right past a police car. He promptly pulled out and put on his lights and pulled in right behind me.  I pulled over, rolled down my windows, and put my keys on my dash – both hands on the wheel.

The officer informed me that I was traveling at 51 miles per hour – in a 35 MPH zone.  At his request, I gave him my license and registration. He came back with a printout and a number to call to find out my fine or court date, should I choose to contest it.

I put my license and registration away – and, with resignation, was on my way.  On my careful way back I realized that it was indeed 35 MPH in that section – and it turned into 40 MPH about 2 blocks later.

So, I thought I was barely going over the speed limit (47 in a 45) and was instead going way over the actual limit (51 in a 35).  I’m not going to begrudge the 51 vs 47 – that part was on a hill and though I was braking I might have been going a little faster.

And ignorance is no excuse for the law.

Still, it seems a little unfair.  I was in control of my car and was traveling with the flow of traffic.  The neighborhood from the 40 to 35 is virtually the same and well…   Sigh.

On Monday I’ll give the number a call and find out what the damages are.  I’ll dutifully pay my fine and that will be that. And I’m driving extra careful now.

But, it kinda bummed me out.  Seems like just a waste of time, money, and resources.

My internet is faster, but I need to slow down.

[Computer boots up]

Lync: “Hi!  I’m Lync! I’m the microsoft messenger and video conferencing tool!”

Me: “Yes, I know who you are.  This is not my first time on this computer,”

Lync: “No Problem! Just let me get you logged in and you’ll be able to connect to all of your colleagues!”

Me: “Yeah, I don’t really need you to do that…”

Lync: “I’m already halfway there!”

Me: “Actually, I need you to close.  I need to update some software on this machine and I’ll need to reboot,”

Lync: “Sure!  Oh, but you can’t close the program by hitting that X in the corner.  I’m still running down here in the toolbar if you need me!”

Me: “Why would you do that?  Every other program closes when you hit X”

Lync: “Ohhhh…ummm…no.  You’ll need to find the Exit in the menu.”

Me: “Where’s the menu?”

Lync: “Ummm… do you see something that looks like a gear?  Try that,”

Me: “Ah, okay.”

Lync: “Okay!  Bye! I love you!”

Me: “I love you t… Just close, please,”

[attempt to shut down the computer]

WINDOWS: “A PROGRAM IS STILL RUNNING IN THE BACKGROUND! FOOL!”

Lync: “You can’t get rid of me that easilllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy”

[computer reboots]

Lync: “Hi!  I’m Lync! I’m the microsoft messenger and video conferencing tool!”

Me “It’s been like 30 seconds since I last saw you,”

Lync: “No Problem! Just let me get you logged in and you’ll be able to connect to all of your colleagues!”

Me: “Please stop,”

[use the gear to close the program]

Lync: “Wait!  Come back! I love you!”

[attempt to uninstall the old version of Office]

WINDOWS: “YOU CANNOT USE THE INSTALLER BECAUSE IT ALREADY IN USE. NOOB!”

[wait a bit.  Then restart.]

WINDOWS: “A PROGRAM IS STILL RUNNING IN THE BACKGROUND! WHY ARE YOU SO DUMB?!”

Lync: “I was hidinnnnnnnnngggggg!!!”

[Restart]

Skype: “Hi!  I’m Skype for Business 2013!  I’m the microsoft messenger and video conferencing tool! We’re going to be best friends!”

Me: “Where did you come from?  Weren’t just just Lync?”

Skype: “Oh, yeah, I upgraded myself when you weren’t looking.  I’m clever!”

Me: “Oh, so you were keeping me from uninstalling office.  Look, you’re not even the right version,”

Skype: “Oh.  Well, I logged you in anyway,”

Me: “where’s your menu?”

Skype: “It’s over… umm… I guess I moved it.  Here it is! No, wait, let me refresh. Okay, here.  No, wait, let me refresh again. Here you go! Right where I left it,”

Me: “okay, just close,”

Skype: “See you soon!”

Me: “Hey, windows.  I need to keep a certain program from starting itself up on a reboot.  Where are your start-up programs listed?”

Windows: “SIGH!  THE START UP SETTINGS ARE IN THE PROGRAM YOU JUST CLOSED. HOW ARE YOU SO DUM?”

Me: [reopen Skype]

Skype: “Hi!  I’m Skype for Business 2013!  I’m the microsoft messenger and video conferencing tool! We’re going to be best friends!”

Me: “Just let me get to your menu”

Skype: “No program!  Just let me log you in first so you can talk to all of your colleagues. I notice you don’t have a web cam set up, want me to do that for you?”

Me: “Please just no.  Where are your settings?”

Skype: “Ummm… options?  I dunno. Oh, wait, let me refresh!  Yeah! Options. And then… tools? Try that,”

Me: [turning off ‘open on start up’]

Skype: “Wait!  Why would you do that? I just want to help!  What if someone wants to send you an instant message?”

Me: [closing Skype]

Skype: “Noooooooo… fine.  This isn’t over,”

Me: [uninstalling Skype]

Windows: “I HAVE TO RUN THE INSTALLER!”

Me: “No, I need to uninstall something,”

Windows: “I KNOW! LAUNCHING THE INSTALLER TO UNISTALL THE PROGRAM!  PLEASE TRY TO KEEP UP, MEATBAG!”

Me: “Fine, whatever.  Please uninstall Office 2013 and Skype for Business 2013,”

Windows: “THIS WILL TAKE AWHILE. GO CONSUME ANIMAL FLESH AND VEGETABLE TUBERS!”

Time passes. I get a sandwich and chips.

Windows: “I AM DONE!”

Me: “okay, I need to install…”

Windows: “NO!!!! I MUST REBOOOOOOOOT!”

Me: “okay, okay.”

[computer reboots]

Windows: “WHAT DO YOU WANT?”

Me: “Okay, please install Office 2016,”

Windows: “I MAY OR MAY NOT ASK YOU FOR A SECURITY KEY THAT YOU DON’T HAVE AT SOME RANDOM POINT,”

Me: “I’m ready for that,”

Windows: “YOU REALLY AREN’T”

Windows: “I MUST REBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!”

Windows: “I AM DONE!  DO YOU WANT TO GO ONLINE TO USE THE THING I JUST INSTALLED ON THIS COMPUTER?”

Me: “Wait, why would I do that?  Could you just open Word so I can see…?”

Skype: “Hi!  I’m Skype for Business 2016!  I’m the microsoft messenger and video conferencing tool! We’re going to be best friends!”

Me: “Why did you launch?”

Skype: “Somebody forgot to save the changes.  Or I just lost my config when you uninstalled me. Jerk.  Just let me get you logged in so you can talk to all your friends and colleagues,”

Me: “I really don’t have time for this.  Cancel sign in.”

Skype: “Too late!”

Me: “Okay, just close,”

Skype: “Ah,ah!  You tried the X again.  I’m still runnnnnnning!”

[I hold down the power button with contempt]

Windows “NOOOOOOOO!  YOU’LL REGRET THIS WHEN WE RESTART IN SAFE MODE!”

 

Still a better experience than trying to print a Christmas list.

One of the least pleasant parts of my job is answering the webmaster email.  There’s so much spam and angry people to get through and I know that it’s not good for me  – but sometimes there are good messages too.

I got a note a couple weeks ago from a father who had two daughters that had had both graduated from UA – one just this past spring.  His third, oldest daughter, was developmentally disabled and was so proud and excited for her sisters and their college success.

He asked if we could make up some kind of fake diploma for her and said it would mean a lot to her.

I considered sending it to the Office of the Registrar, but figured they would be bound by the rules and not be allowed to produce some kind of document like this. 

So, I instead sent this over to our social media guru  – figuring that if anyone could make this fun thing happen, it would be her.

She was delighted with the request and ran with it – and today, I got a great update from her.

The alumni office agreed to make this guy’s daughter an Honorary Alumni of The University of Akron and are going to hold a special event for her and present her with a certificate.

How awesome is that?    That young woman is going to be bursting with pride that day – I can’t even imagine her delight.

So, some days the email is terrible and crap – and some days, it can be wonderful.

I’m a sucker for a good book gimmick.  A fancy cover, sure, but if the fonts are weird or if there’s a sweet map on the inside cover – well, I’m in.  I picked up a book recently that was two books in one. The first in a sequel on one side and then you flip it over and there’s the second book.

Cool!

I read the blurb on the inside cover for each of the books and was a little wary.  The narrator is a poet working on the introduction for an anthology of poems – hence the title of the book “The Anthologist”.

But, the covers had me hooked and I dove in.

And… seriously?   It was terrible.

The guy – Paul Chowder – has writer’s block.  That’s pretty much the premise. His girlfriend moves out because he’s too pathetic and he spends most of his time not writing the introduction and instead tells us his arrogant version of the history of poetry.

I managed to drag myself to page 101 where I found this gem:

“Let’s try again.  The history of poetry began, quite possibly, in the year 1883.  Let me write that date for you with my Sharpie, so you can have it for your convenience. 1883.  That’s when it all began. Or maybe not. Could be any year. The year doesn’t matter. Forget the year!  The important thing is that there’s something called the nineteenth century…”

It’s like some kind of stream of consciousness by an idiot.  I got to that drivel and hit the brakes and went back to the front cover.  Winner of the National Book Critics Circle Award? “Startlingly perceptive and ardent…Chowder is possibly the most appealing narrator Baker has invented.” The New York Times Book Review.

I kept at it for as long as I did for two reason:

1. I’ve been inflicting my own poetry on other people recently with my Haiku tweets and felt it was a kind of penance.
2. I hoped, somehow, that it would get better.  Maybe he’d write a poem that could raise the dead.  Or his dog is a communist. Or his ex-girlfriend invented the chicken sandwich.

But, I couldn’t see myself getting another hundred pages into this and still having him not accomplish anything. At all.  

So, I bailed.  And the book is going into my Half-Priced Books pile in the hope that someone else – perhaps with lower standards or expectations – will enjoy it.

————————

Youtube has figured out that I’m a crafty sort and has lately started to suggest some resin projects.  I found some two-part resin on the cheap and decided to give it a whirl. I had two things I wanted to try – using a mold and something called “secret wood”.  

I had a silicone mold from a Sculpey project that I hoped would work for the project and the secret wood just needed a broken piece of narrow wood.

I followed the instructions carefully for the two-part resin and added some dye to give it a little color.  I poured – and waited.

And mostly failed.

I had used packing tape to make a framework for the secret wood and it didn’t seal well – about half leaked out onto my protected work surface.  The molds did a little better, but I hadn’t been able to get all the clay out and some got stuck in the resin. And the resin itself turned out to be a shade of green that matched mouthwash.

But, I learned a lot.  I’ve got new ideas for preparing the wood and building a better frame around it.  And the molds are now clean so the next attempt will be clean as well. And I know that the colors work and can do a better job of getting the shade right.

Time to trim more wood and mix up more resin.  I don’t recall the last time I was this excited about things going wrong – it was a good learning experience.

I fixed some rice the other night and since my rice cooker has a minimum setting of “enough for an army”, I had plenty left over.  So, I bought myself some soy sauce and found a recipe online for fried rice that I followed exactly.

Well…

The recipe called for “day old” rice – and mine was closer to three days.  I don’t own a wok so I made do with a skillet.

It called for a cup of frozen carrots and peas – thawed – but I had just enough broccoli and cauliflower mix and figured that would do instead of opening a new bag.  I misread the labels on the microwave and was well into a “cook” instead of a “thaw” before I got it stopped.

It called for sesame oil, but I only had olive oil.  

And I was out of eggs so I skipped those two scrambled that it called for.

Of course, the green onions got skipped too.

I used slightly more soy sauce than it called for.   And I added imitation crab instead of the chicken or shrimp.

But other than that, it was exactly the same.

I had a really rough day at work yesterday and though the thought of actually “doing” anything afterwards filled me with a nameless dread, I did have my swim gear with me and the pool was open.

So, with a staggering reluctance, that voice in the back of my head – the really mean and persistent one – forced me to the pool for a swim after work.

When I got there, the locker room was full of literally shrieking kids – some kind of summer camp, I guess – and the lanes were set to the long – ways.

Because of course they are.

Grumbling like I was being forced to skip dessert, I jumped in the water.  And uttered this phrase:

BLAGING BLURPLE BLARCHED BLARRRRRG!!!!?!?!?

I was underwater at the time, trying to keep my heart beating with the sheer force of profanity after the shock of the icy cold water.  

You do not want the translation.  It would have killed fish, had there been any in pool.

I surfaced, kicked off, and began my first lap.

The bargain I struck with the “persistent voice” was that I would do a half mile.  Every stroke through the water hurt my arm. And I never did get used to the cold.

But, when I reached my goal, I felt strong enough to keep going for a few more laps.  When I got out of the pool, I felt strong enough to do more – if I’d wanted.

And, of course, I was rocking that speedo still.

I didn’t feel “good” after that swim.  More like “somewhat less miserable” – but it’s something and knowing I can hit the water and excel even after not swimming for a while was pretty cool too.

I’m going to try and get back in the habit again.  It’s clearly good for me – even if I’m not exactly enjoying it at the moment.

Yesterday morning, at nearly the last minute, Jim invited me to join him on a guided walk around Firestone park.  

He didn’t think I would want to go since history and old houses are on my “so boring I can’t believe it” list – but I do like a good walk.   And there were free cookies.

I hustled down to the community center just as the the tour guides were introducing themselves and we were soon off.  I grabbed a cookie for the road.

And, as expected, I liked the walk but was a little bored. I’d be more interested in history, I guess, if we collectively really learned from it.  But we don’t and we keep making the same mistakes. Seems a little pointless until we get it figured out.

Case in point was the flagpole in the park.  There had been a huge pine tree there, but the area held water and the roots rotted.  So, they dug it up and – without fixing the water problem – put in another super expensive tree in the same spot.  And those roots also rotted. It was eventually replaced – most likely by an eagle-eyed controller looking at the tree budget – and now we’ve got a flagpole.  But no flag, yet.

On the walk were state and local representatives – as well as staff from the Mayor’s office.  One of the reps was trying just a little too hard, but the group overall was pretty nice. And I inadvertently learned a little about the history of my neighborhood.  I didn’t retain that knowledge, but I’m sure it was interesting.  🙂

———

Sunday morning for me is usually laundry and video games and I fired up my Playstation with anticipation of some Final Fantasy grinding.  There’s a Chocobo eating fiend on the path ahead and I knew I needed to level up before taking that thing on.

I was playing for a bit when I noticed… a smell.  I thought it might be on my shoes, but they were clean.  And then I realized the back of my pants and the gamer chair I was sitting on were wet.

Thunder(cat) had pissed on my chair.

I got up and threw my pants and underwear in the wash – then took a shower.  Yes, it soaked through that bad.

As I was trying to clean the chair, I looked over at my cat – lying peacefully on the dining room floor.  He was looking back at me and casually flipping the tip of tail up and down as if to say:

“This could have been avoided if you’d done a better job on cleaning the litter box.  Idiot.”

At least, I suspect that was his motivation.  It’s hard to tell with a cat. And like a dutiful servant who’s been upbraided by his boss, I got the litter box cleaned next.

It could have been worse, certainly.  Even if the chair has to be trashed – it could have been my bed.  I like to think that he assumed that this was my favorite place to sit and figured that would send the right message – but he wasn’t willing to escalate this to defiling a sleeping area.

Again, it’s hard to tell with a cat.

So, there’s some tension in the house at the moment.  He’s currently sitting on top of the couch, facing away from me.  And I’m at the dining room table, facing away from the living room.

We’ll get over it soon enough, but for now…