Author: anthony Page 1 of 72

The “Memories” function on Facebook can be a little hit or miss.  While it’s fun to sometimes see the jokes that Jim and I have shared, most of the memories that come up for me are my re-posted haikus.  I’ve pretty well saturated my timeline with those since I do one everyday.

Sometimes, the memories are…less than fun.

Since December, Facebook has been pushing the posts I made from 10 years ago – when I broke my elbow.

Or, as the ER doctor said, “obliterated”.

Since I was out shoveling the driveway again today I’ve clearly recovered, but it wasn’t a fun time. I was in a lot of pain before and after the surgery and while the physical therapy wasn’t too bad, the “rack” I had to use to stretch my arm out was awful. 

I never got my full range of motion back and when it is cold and damp out my elbow will ache.

On the bright side, my friends and family said many kind and encouraging things to me.  So, the memory itself isn’t great, but the comments are.

It’s odd how our minds work.  A picture, a phrase, even a date – and the full-technicolor stereo surround sound memory springs back into the mind’s-eye as though it was yesterday.

Instead of 10 years ago.

I didn’t re-share these memories – didn’t really want to dredge them back up though I know there would be new -equally kind – comments. 

Better to let this slip back into the past and be thankful that it wasn’t any worse. 

[Edit: I had a facebook memory come up that had this exact same title and very much the same content – from 12 years ago. I appear to be stuck in a rut and I’m not nearly as clever as I’d like to think I am.]

I had my window shades closed yesterday while I was working and when I was done for the day I saw that we’d had a lot of snow.  Like, a lot.

The day had ended on a frantic note at work – I was literally doing the jobs of three people who were out of the office – and I was still keyed up.    I didn’t have anywhere to go, but figured I should try to get caught up on the shoveling while I could – for when I did need to go somewhere.

I put on a scarf, a hat, a heavy coat, my heavy gloves and my boots – not in that order – and went to the garage for my trusty shovel.

I closed the garage door behind me and set to work.  

And, it wasn’t bad.  I don’t know of anyone that enjoys shoveling snow, but I usually don’t mind it.  The snow wasn’t too heavy, it wasn’t too cold, and the driveway really isn’t that big.  

I had a plan of sorts and worked my way down the drive, my mind pleasantly empty.   That’s the best part of a repetitive task like shoveling the drive, it frees up my head to think deep thoughts or none at all.

I started to lose the light as I finished up and concluded by spreading salt on the front steps – and the side steps of my 80 year old neighbor.  Another neighbor had cleared the driveway, but his blower couldn’t reach that area.

I put away my shovel and got some rest.

Today, I got an earlier start since it had snowed again last night.  It went quicker this time – there was less snow – and my head instead filled with ideas for haikus.  I had four of them in my head and no way to write them down, but managed to distill them into key words I could use to create them again later.

I had enough energy to brush off the cars, clear a longer path for my neighbor, and clear off the back patio at our house for the dogs.  

My back is a little sore and I’m a little tired.  And I’ll sleep well tonight.   But, I’ll be back at it again tomorrow if I need to.  

Clearing the driveway – and my head.

(If there was ever a post to be labeled “too much information”, it would be this one.)

We have a Menards (“Save Big Money at Menards!”) a few miles away, but there’s no quick route there and we usually go to Lowe’s if we need some home improvement supplies.  When we do go to Menards, I try to get the most random collection of purchases as possible – while still only buying things that I need.   That condition adds to the challenge – otherwise, it would be just a waste of money for a lark.

On a recent trip, my list included carpet rectangles for the stairs (to help the dogs have better traction), a couple of bundles of firewood, chicken noodle soup, pop tarts, dry erase markers, sidewalk salt, and dog treats.   

It didn’t feel quite random enough and I stopped by the clothing section to see if they had any neat hats. 

I can always use a new hat.

Instead of a hat, I found that they had men’s underwear for sale – and at a pretty good price too. 

I had a couple of pairs at home that had worn out and thought this would be a good – and novel – replacement.  Sidewalk salt, pop tarts, and underwear?  Delightfully random.

I picked up a package of briefs, black and navy, size large (36-38).  I’m at the lower end of that range, as will become clear in a bit, but didn’t want them too tight.

I headed to the checkout, got no reaction from the clerk who’s likely seen every combination of goods known to man, and I was on my way.

When I got home and unpacked my car, I tossed the new underwear in the wash. The worn out underwear got tossed in the trash.  (I suppose I could have used those for rags, but they were really worn though.)

And when the new briefs came up in rotation I noticed the fit was a little odd.  They seemed very tall for briefs and though they fit my waist pretty well, the leg holes seemed a bit…loose.

I wore them for a bit and then moved in apparently the wrong direction and I…well… fell out.

Or at least part of me did, through the leg holes.  The parts that the underwear is specifically intended to keep contained. 

I was by myself and quickly put things back where they belonged.    I thought it was an anomaly, but it kept happening.  And it got worse as the fabric of the leg holes relaxed. 

Pretty soon, it was if I wasn’t wearing any underwear for all the good they did me.   And it wasn’t just that one defective pair – it was all three.

I suppose they could still work to sleep in or for deeply lazy days when it’s okay to “let it all hang out”, but as day-to-day underwear they were a failure.  I should have gotten a smaller size or – to follow through on a really crazy idea – don’t buy underwear at the same place you can buy fireplace tools, floor tile, or fluorescent tube lights. 

Lesson learned, I guess.  

Excuse me while I…adjust.

I took myself for a walk today since I’d gotten caught up with all the “business” I needed to conduct on my day off.  It was a nice enough day and I needed to drop a bill off at the post office.  So, I guess there was more “business”, but at least it was on my terms.

Our neighborhood is a nice one, with quiet streets and well-kept houses.  I took a different way home than I usually do after one of these walks and went past a house that had a sign right at the street that said, “No turn around. No Trespassing.”

Which seemed a little harsh.  Sometimes turning around in a driveway is the best approach when someone is lost and it seemed odd to be upset about something like that.  The No Trespassing seemed a little extra harsh too. 

Maybe it was the font.

As I walked past the driveway I saw a sign further up the drive attached to a tree.  I stopped to look closer and saw that it said “You are now a trespasser” – to further hammer home their feelings, I guess – and it included a graphic.  

Of the view through a gun sight. 

I shook my head and continued my walk. 

So much anger and fear in that simple sign.   Something must have happened and now they are pushing everyone away.  And that isolationist and threatening approach means that no one will try to get close to them again – even with the kindest or most neutral intentions. 

It seemed dangerous and sad all at once.

And an anomoly in our nice neighborhood.

I was working from home recently when I got a visitor.  The doorbell had been ringing a lot that day – post office delivery, amazon delivery, furnace company, and the basement contractors – but this guy introduced himself as a former owner of the house.

I recognized the name – we used to get mail for him – and he explained that he’d had an insurance check sent to his old address by mistake and that someone else had cashed it.   He asked if I had seen anything like this.

I replied that we used to get mail for the many people that had lived here before we moved in, but that our regular postal carrier said that she now intercepts those and puts them back in the system.  It’s rare that we see anything anymore and the ones we do get  – other than catalogs – we just write “moved” on and put back in the box.

He was upset at himself, upset at the post office, and upset at the bank.  And upset at the insurance company who insisted on addressing all of this by mail – but also refused to update his address.  I didn’t really have an answer for him other than to check with the post office since the carrier seems to know a lot about what goes on in the neighborhood. 

He left to contact the insurance company again and I realized that I hadn’t given him my phone number or email address.   I found him on facebook – and confirmed it was the same guy since he had an old background picture of our current yard – and sent him a message.

He stopped by later in the day – having not seen my facebook message – and had realized the same thing I did.  He gave me his number and I gave him my email and number back.  I also told him to reach out to me if he needs me to write up a “we never saw the check” statement.

The check in question was for over $8,000 so I’m hoping he got it sorted out – but I haven’t heard back from him.

It was interesting to meet an “almost familiar” stranger. We had a history of sorts, but had never met.

It started back in May when we had a flood in our basement. Heavy rains, a failed sump pump, and a clogged drain led to 400 gallons of water sloshing around and while we got a company in quickly to clear it, the carpet was in worse shape.

It took us…a while to get a contractor lined up to redo the basement and we decided that instead of just replacing the carpet, we would also use this as an opportunity to do some remodeling there as well. 

The plan was to remove the bar area, replace the carpet with vinyl tile, and clean up the walls and baseboards.   We had notes on what we wanted done and picked out the tile and the cabinets – and the contractors gave us an estimate. We had plans to also add a shower to the bathroom in the basement, but that was going to be far outside our price range. 

It then took them…a while to get started but when they did the demolition on the bar, we found the first of the problems – and it was a combo.  The system of trenches to mitigate the water coming through the walls in the basement didn’t include the bar area – or, really, anywhere under the turret of our house.  And under the bar were piles of rotting acorns.  Ground squirel guess, we assumed.

So, this was going to need to be addressed as a separate project to seal the walls, patch the holes, seal up the cracks in the outside steps (the source of the water) and re-route the downspout to get the water away from the house.

Also, removing the carpet from the stairs revealed a problem with the risers that would need to be replaced.  

They could handle these and since I was working from home most of the time I tried to keep the project on track.  And paid for the additional materials along the way. 

It took…months. 

The actual work went quickly, but they kept getting called off on emergency projects or would have to stop and wait for material to come in.

And there were mistakes.   The sink got installed in the wrong spot – they didn’t ask before cutting the hole in the counter – and so it looked odd without a cabinet above.  They got an additional cabinet – which needed to be cut down since the ceiling wasn’t the same height there. But, the reworked cabinet was done off of bad measurements and had to be redone.

They also closed off an unused fireplace without checking with us and added a side section to the backsplash that was a surprise. 

They reused most of the stairs when they replaced the risers, but some of the old stairs were uneven and then they had to replace all the stairs. 

So, it was a lot of back and forth.  I tried to keep an eye on things, but I also needed to work from home and there were sometimes issues when I would go down to the basement at the end of the day.

And we lost some time when Jim and I went on vacation.  They had access, but there was concern if something expensive came up while we were gone, we might be hard to reach. 

So, as December rolled through, the project finally came to a close.  The cabinets and the new sink with a backsplash were done.  The lights were replaced and the stairs are solid again.

There were some last minute issues – a slight leak to the sink and some touch up on the ceiling – but they presented the final invoice.

And it was a lot, since it covered all the extra labor from the projects that needed to happen before the main project could start. 

But, we wrote the check and as I write this I’m waiting for them to show up to pick that up. Jim is already looking at paint colors for the walls and I’m working on a list of plumbing projects that will need to be addressed.  

It seems like it never ends, but the house is almost 100 years old and the many owners have left their own mark.

So, again, we remain…homeowners.

I had already gone to bed when Jim woke me up to say that he thought there was something wrong with the heat in the house.  I got up and we checked the thermostat (set to Heat and on), then went to the basement.  No activity from the boiler, but not really any indication of something being wrong.  It did look like the water gauge was low, but I didn’t know what to do with that. 

I wrote down the info for the heating company from the side of the boiler and we called it a night.  That was Saturday.

The next day, the temp dropped even further and every time we checked the thermostat it had dropped a bit more.  We got a fire started in the fireplace and set up space-heaters, though it wasn’t doing much.  I called the heating company and got their answering service.

I got a call back and they were booked up solid that day, but could get me an appointment on Monday afternoon.  Which meant that we wouldn’t be charged an emergency service fee – but it would be another cold night.    That was Sunday.

On Monday I worked from home and kept the dogs upstairs with me in the office with a space heater going.  When the tech arrived I showed him the problem and he started doing some checking.   With everything bypassed he finally found the problem – the water pipe was full of sediment. 

He couldn’t get that to drain properly and got out his wrench to try and free it up. 

And then there was a crunch…

…as the pipe broke and water began spilling out on the floor.

I grabbed a bucket and he explained that the pipe would have likely broken soon anyway.  He set to work on replacing the pipe and I got a mop to get the water to the drain.  

When he was done he got the tank refilled and fired up the boiler again.    We were in good shape again, but would need an additional part  – a device to close the exhaust pipe when the boiler wasn’t running.  They would need to source one and would call me when it was in.

The bill that day was $160 and I was happy to pay it.

On Wednesday, I got a call from the furnace company again and they had the part in stock and could stop by Friday to install it.  With the cost of the part and labor being $595.

Sigh. Of course.

I made the appointment and sat in my warm – and increasingly expensive -house.

Friday rolled around and a new tech came out from the company.  He got the part installed and double-checked his colleague’s work  – then presented the bill.  I was less excited to write that check.

The basement contractors arrived not long after he left and they called me downstairs again. 

There was water running down the newly drywalled wall in the basement.  

We tracked it back upstairs to the dining room and to the radiator.  I took the cover off and found a rusted section – and a drip.  I closed the valve for the radiator and just sat there on the floor for a minute – just really overwhelmed with the number of problems that never seemed to end.

The contractors said they might be able to source a radiator and said I would check in with the furnace company first.

I called, made an appointment, and then that evening we built a tray to catch the water since the valve was leaking even when closed.

When the original tech came for the appointment I told him I was happy to see him again – though it did seem a little soon.

He inspected the radiator and said it would need to be replaced. He took some measurements and said they would have to see if they could find one. 

A few days later, the furnace company called.  They couldn’t find a new radiator for us and had stopped looking. I asked if I found one, could they install it?  No, they said, I should call a plumber.  I finally asked if they had the measurements so I would have something more accurate when I tried to find it myself.  They did, but the numbers didn’t seem to conform to 3 dimensional space.

So, that was the end of that.

The contractors found one at a local supply company for $2385.  And another for $1900 – in New York.   They also “know a guy” who might be able to help.  So, we’re at the “know a guy” stage.

The house is warm, except for that one room, and we remain…homeowners.

I’m usually in the office on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and remote the rest of the week, so it’s sometimes a surprise at the temperature in my office since I leave the door closed when I’m not there.  This week, Tuesday saw me assessing an overly warm office and… a smelly one. 

I couldn’t place the smell but it was some kind of gas.  I sniffed my way around the small office and opened all the cabinets and drawers in case it turned out to be a dead mouse or something.  Eventually, I determined it was coming from the overhead vent.  

It wasn’t great, but I eventually got used to it – though I did end up with a headache.  I also wasn’t in the office much that day since I had so many meetings, but with the door open all day it was tolerable.  

I pretty much forgot about it overnight, but the next morning when I came in the smell was overpowering. 

Once one of my co-workers came in, I asked if he would come smell my office.  He tried, but had a cold and couldn’t smell much of anything.  When other co-workers arrived, I had them stop over as well.  They could smell something and one suggested it almost smelled like propane.    The other said I should report it to the maintenance office – just in case. 

I called the office and told them there was an odd smell in my office – and that a co-worker thought it smelled like propane or another gas.  They said they would open a work order and get someone dispatched.   They didn’t seem too concerned, but my headache was getting worse.  I grabbed a laptop and headed for a conference room ahead of my next meeting – and left the door closed to make whatever it was easier to detect.  When I got set up in the conference room I got an email confirmation – and they had listed as the problem:

“ODD SMELL IN HIS ROOM.”

Suggesting, perhaps, that it was somehow my fault.

It took longer than expected, but a technician came over and I let him into the office.  The smell hit me like a wave, but he didn’t seem to notice.  He said he didn’t smell anything, but admitted that he didn’t have a very good sense of smell.

Seems like the wrong guy to have been dispatched for this one. 

He said he would check around the building for malfunctioning equipment and try to bring over someone from Safety or Plumbing with a “sniffer” to check the air. 

I closed the door again, updated my coworkers, and continued being an office nomad.   When I left for lunch, I noticed a similar smell in the stairwell.  I went back into the office and had my boss come out and check as well.  He confirmed it and was worried enough to escalate this while I went on my way.  

When I got back, the first tech returned  – along with 3 other guys.  Two had different kinds of devices to check the air and when I opened the door for them I was blasted again by the smell.

And, somehow, none of them smelled it either – though one of them also admitted he didn’t have a very good sense of smell either.   

They suggested that there had been a diesel truck parked outside yesterday and maybe that was what I smelled.    I noted that the smell would dissipate with the door open – to an extent – and then build back up again with the door closed.   Meaning that the source – whatever it was – was still there.  

They suggested I open a window.

I told them it had also smelled in the stairwell and the two guys with devices followed me to the stairwell.  This time, they did smell something and thought it might be a “dry trap”.  They went off to search the stairwell and I went back to the office to get my phone.  The original tech told me they would update the work order when they had a resolution – and then he left too.

I was skeptical. 

I did open the window and kept the door closed the rest of the day – bringing over more co-workers to check and confirm that I was not just “smelling things”.  They all reacted strongly, but none could quite figure out what it was.   I joked about the office exploding and that even though I smelt it, I had not delet it. 

At the end of the day, I went back into my office – with the very strong smell even with the window open – and closed things up for the winter break.   I’m a little concerned about what I’ll find when I’m back in 2025 – but since the devices didn’t find anything harmful, I guess I’ll be okay.

Working from home the next day, I got an email – with no notes – saying that the work order was closed.

Seriously, if the work order is “ODD SMELL” – send the guys that can smell things next time, okay?

Our department has a holiday party each year and part of this is a “white elephant” gift exchange.  Last year, I hit the $20 limit with a gift bag of art supplies – and it was the most “stolen” and coveted item.   Not that it’s a competition, but it was fun to see that I had chosen something engaging. 

This year, I was trying to figure out what to share and came across a desktop caddy I had bought that came as a kit to assemble.  It was a wooden version of a dumpster and came with little paper pads that looked like fire.   So, a dumpster fire.    It got me thinking and I decided to do sort of a themed gift bag.

Along with the desktop caddy dumpster fire, I added a small first aid kit, a bottle of hand sanitizer, a box of pop-tarts (my signature, in a way) and a bath bomb.    I added a tag to the outside of the bag that said:

Things are weird. Hang in there.

It was a sort of self-care/be ready for anything/gallows humor package and while it wasn’t really fancy, it had been assembled with some thought.

On the day of the gift exchange, most of the items were hot cocoa or wine – it was almost a theme – and mine got chosen towards the end.  The recipient showed off the items in the bag and the card – and my colleagues guessed it was from me based on the contents and the pop-tarts in particular.

The next day, the recipient came looking for me in the office and thanked me for the gift bag.  He said,

“I know you didn’t put that together just for me, but the tag and all the items in it really spoke to me, “

I was touched by what he said and that he sought me out to share that.  That’s really the goal, isn’t it?  To have a gift that is appreciated.   And while it wasn’t specifically for him, it was meant for everyone on the team. 

Things are weird – and not always in a fun way. And I do hope that we can all hang in there and get through the weird times together. 

So, it was a success.  An odd little collection of gifts that shared intention and hope. 

The election came and went and while there was hope that things would turn out for the best, it was quickly dashed by the polls and media.  When the final counts were done, the United States was in the red. 

The years of attacks on education and the media came to fruition with a population that believed the lies and decided a fascist cult was the way to go. 

There’s a lot of anger and disappointment still – and a lot of blaming and fear.   And hope seems elusive.     I wonder if, when things start changing for the worst, there is some “buyer” remorse and the pendulum will swing back around.  But, I’m concerned that the fundamentals of the US will be eroded further to keep those in power from losing said power.

Right after the election, Jim’s job announced that the merger was going through – and the timing suggests that they were waiting to see how much they could get away with in the new political climate.  Which is not a hopeful sign.

For myself, there’s a meeting coming up towards the end of the month about a reorganization in our department.  There have been emails as well about more staffing cuts at UA and while I’ve “survived” 2 of these already, I’m more nervous about this round since the people making the cuts won’t know my value. 

Jim and I are also in the middle of a basement renovation project with contractors that are not as reliable as we had hoped.  So, the house is a mess and the project is creeping along slowly.

There’s just so much uncertainty right now and I’m feeling a lot of anxiety.  I can pivot with the best of them, but I’m worried this time I’m going to twist my ankle – existentially.

But, I’m still working hard and trying to keep up with the house.  This afternoon I’m going to rake leaves and this past weekend, I saw my folks and finished up an origami project to donate.   I’m trying, at least, to keep my chin up and keep doing what I do.  

Maybe there’s still a little hope after all.  Maybe that’s what hope is.