I had errands to run this afternoon and mostly avoided interacting with other humans.  Some days I like people, but this was not one of them. 

I had been doing pretty well as I made my way from kiosk to self-checkout – but the final test was the self-checkout at Giant Eagle. 

I approached the station and scanned my card poorly name “loyalty card”, then started taking the items out of my cart and scanning them one by one – then adding them to plastic bags in the tiny bagging area.  Not exactly rocket science. I was about halfway through when the system froze and complained that I hadn’t scanned an item.  

Inconceivable.

I tried to check to see where I had messed up, mentally recalling the swipe movement and the accompanying beep.  And then it cleared on its own.

Skeptical, I proceeded with scanning the items and when it was done I had two bags in the bagging area and my credit card in hand.

“PLEASE WAIT, HELP IS ON THE WAY”

I visibly deflated.  I didn’t need help and I didn’t want help.  But help was on the way.

The clerk came over and said, “Don’t look so dejected,”

“I thought I did everything right,” I replied and his response suggested that he would fix things, but that I clearly done Something Stupid ™. 

He scanned his badge and the system cleared to let me pay for my groceries. When I got my receipt I pulled my cart around and picked up the bags from the bagging area – intending to carry the two bags and return the cart on my way. Because I’m not a monster.

The clerk came back over and suggested that I should move my cart to the other side earlier in the process and put my filled bags in the cart instead of leaving them in the bagging area.  This was, presumably, the Something Stupid ™ that required HELP ON THE WAY.

I thanked him for the suggestion – just to get on with my life – and put the bags in the cart to leave the store.

As I was walking, though, I wondered how that would work?  I still had items in my cart to scan when I had filled the first bag so moving the cart would put the unscanned items at the wrong end of the process.  And, I always get scolded by the machine when I don’t leave my items in the bagging area.

So, I still don’t really know what I did Wrong ™, but it was Something Stupid ™.