It started with a noise I didn’t hear. The sump pump in the bathroom in my basement has a particular noise as it cycles and pumps water out of the sump hole. I was using the bathroom – and reading a really good book – when I noted that the pump hadn’t run in the time I was down there. When I was done with my task and at a good stopping point in my book, I investigated.
Which was no small feat even by itself. The former owners had covered over the sump pump area with a decorative outdoor lattice – and about a billion screws. Okay, maybe a million. I got all the screws removed, removed the lattice, and removed the sump cover.
Full of water.
And because I’m a geek, I first tried unplugging it and plugging it back in. Just in case. No luck, though, the pump was dead. I unplugged it for the last time with a heavy heart – this wasn’t how I wanted to spend my Sunday.
I rolled up my sleeves, got a bucket and a red solo cup and started bailing. Bucket after bucket of some really suspect water came out of that hole and all the while I’m seriously thinking:
“Okay, this is just about the time in a horror movie when something intensely horrible is going to come slithering out of the filthy water, grab a hold of me, and pull me down to a watery grave.”
So, as a precaution, I had them keep a transporter lock on me at all times. The first sign of trouble and I was ready to beam my ass right on out of there.
Fortunately, the bathroom is well lit, the hole wasn’t that deep, and it was still daytime outside. I managed to work my way steadily down to the inflow pipe and see what I was up against.
The old sump pump was corroded and the inflow to the pump was clogged. I noticed the water was warm too – I’m guessing the pump had overheated when it got clogged.
I sent my Dad a text:
[non-flood sump pump problem. Please call and advise]
He called me a little later and we talked a little about what I was up against. I’ve inherited my Dad’s dislike of plumbing, but he had some good suggestions and I had a plan.
With the sump now slowly refilling with water and the model number in hand, I headed to Home Depot. I found the section, found the brand, found the model number… and the shelf was empty. I swore, then found a cashier and had them call for help. The staff person that answered the call scanned the barcode on the shelf and announced that they had 39(!) in stock. He got a ladder, found the pump, and in no time I was on my way.
After a few more errands, I headed back home and bailed out the sump again. The next step was to remove the old pump. Except that it wouldn’t budge. At all. I even borrowed a wrench from the neighbors with a smaller handle and was pretty much in the sump hole trying to get it loose.
No luck.
So, plan B. (oh, at this point it should be noted that the help videos online for the pump were crap).
I would need to find a rubber connector, cut the pipe to get part of the pipe and the old pump out, then hopefully remove the pipe from the pump and install the new one.
But it was getting late and home depot was closed. I now had a slowly filling sump hole and no way to get the rest of the parts I needed.
A sense of doom settled over me and I prepared for the long night ahead.