Lap 0.5 Lap 1 1.5 Why won’t that woman just return my email instead of calling me and leaving incomprehensible voice-mails? 2 2.5 3 3.5 4 4.5 5 I wish my co-workers would quit fighting every single idea I have. 5.5 6 6.5 7 7.5 8 8.5 9 9.5 10 10.5 11 Lunch was terrible. 11.5 12 Even the pie. 12.5 I got a terrible night’s sleep. 13 13.5 14 Why am I doing this? 14.5 15 15.5 16 16.5 17 Everything is broken and there’s an email about it. 17.5 18 Rest
0.5 1 1.5 2 My speedos are riding up. 2.5 3 3.5 4 4.5 5 And my goggles are fogged 5.5 6 Does the music always have to be this shitty? 6.5 7 7.5 8 8.5 9 9.5 Seriously, is that Bieber? 10 10.5 Drowning might be better. 11 11.5 12 12.5 13 Ugh, that meeting tomorrow is going to suck. 13.5 14 14.5 15 15.5 16 16.5 17 17.5 18 Rest
0.5 1 1.5 Why do I have heartburn now? 2 2.5 3 3.5 4 4.5 5 5.5 6 6.5 This is taking forever. 7 7.5 8 8.5 9 What’s up with all the headaches in the morning? 9.5 10 10.5 11 11.5 12 12.5 13 13.5 14 14.5 15 15.5 16 “Sir, would you please move to the deep end of the pool?” 16.5 Grumble, grumble. 17 17.5 18 Rest
0.5 Can’t lose count. 1 1.5 2 Whoa, leg cramp. Keep going. 2.5 3 3.5 4 4.5 5 Now my arm hurts. 5.5 6 6.5 7 I’ve outlasted the swim team. 7.5 8 8.5 9 9.5 10 10.5 11 11.5 I got this. 12 12.5 13 Unstoppable. 13.5 14 14.5 15 15.5 16 16.5 17 17.5 2 miles, bitches 18 Rest is for the weak.
0.5 1 1.5 2 Damn, my arm really hurts. 2.5 3 3.5 4 4.5 5 Going to pay for this tomorrow. 5.5 6 6.5 7 7.5 8 Not going to stop, though. 8.5 9 Keep going. 9.5 10 10.5 11 11.5 12 “Sir, could you move to the far lane?” 12.5 Seriously? 13 13.5 MASSIVE LEG CRAMPS – BOTH LEGS. 14 Shake it off. 14.5 15 15.5 16 Can’t keep up, can you? 16.5 I’m twice your age! 17 This is my pool! 17.5 Eat my wake! 18 2.5 miles! 90 laps!
Suck it, Wednesday.