There’s a restaurant Jim and I like to go to in Canton called Danny Boys. It’s a sort of rat-pack themed place with Italian food – and it’s pretty popular in the area. We were there a few weeks ago on a busy night and got seated at a tiny table off to the side. The walls were covered with old records and posters of Frank Sinatra – and right next to me was an old cigar box fastened to the wall. It had a hinge and clasp on the lid so, naturally, I opened it up to see what was inside.

Good thing I’m not Pandora.

Anyway, the box was empty – which was a little disappointing. So, since I had paper with me (and I always have paper with me), I quickly folded three green dragons. I slipped them into the box, closed and fastened the lid, and no one was the wiser. Except for Jim, of course.

Now, it’s not unusual for me to leave behind origami – I call it “creative littering” – but it is unusual to find out what happens to them.

Turns out, someone that we know that works there found them and knew it had be me. She texted Jim to confirm and was delighted to have found them. But, we discovered, she only checked the box because she once found a dollar there that someone left as a tip.

So, I guess I wasn’t quite as clever as I thought. Still fun, though.

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A couple of weeks ago was the graduation event for UA. I had signed up to be an associate marshal – a task that involves guiding the graduates through the venue. Seemed like a good way to volunteer, but the training meeting had me worried.

The guy running the show had been doing this since 1992 and he glossed over, well, everything. I left the meeting with a sense of knowing less than I did beforehand.

And heavy feelings of dread and anxiety.

Now, I don’t really get that anxious very often. I recognize that there are usually many ways for a situation to play out and lots of right answers – so, I just kind of roll with with things.

This, however, was different. I was going to have hundreds of people depend on me, on one of the biggest days of their lives, and I had no idea what I was doing. My only saving grace was one guy who showed up late to the training and proceeded to ask some of the dumbest questions imaginable. I was hoping that whatever disaster he caused would be worse than anything I could do.

On the big day, I got up early and got to the venue early. I downed a can of soda and a doughnut – which, in hindsight, was perhaps a sugar-fueled mistake – and got on my silly looking robe and hat.

Then we did a final walk-though and I realized I was going to be fine. The students in my row came to me and I check them off my list. We followed the row in front of us through the building and got them seated. Then followed again when the went up on the stage.

It was basically follow the leader + a clipboard.

I was vastly relieved, no one fell off the stage, and everyone was happy.

And now that I know, I might volunteer again. Though those robes… man, no way to be dignified in those. Might as well have worn a clown wig too.

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I get some weird email at work and today was no exception. There was an email from  – I kid you not – Princess Brittney [redacted], the CEO and Founder of a “girl power” organization. And I quote:

“an organization passionately dedicated to achieving gender equality for women and girls through collaborating with successful men.”

She was trying to get us to host an event with a speaker of dubious academic credentials and I’m pretty sure we’re just going to ignore it, but… What the actual F?

How is that “girl power”, princess? Women will be equal if they cozy up to powerful men? Really? REALLY?

I wasn’t sure if I should be amused or nauseous – and I eventually settled on the latter.

Just… what kind of a lesson does that teach young girls? “You can’t excel on your own, you need a successful man to give you the opportunities.”

I don’t know how you end up at “equality” after that. When I eventually forward the note, I’ll need to figure out the right department. Most likely it will go to – and be rejected by – Student Life.

Really, though, I want to send it over to Women’s Studies so they can try to pull Princess Brittney out of the dark ages.