I have a couple of examples of emails I’ve gotten recently that make me question the very nature of human communication.

The first was a message sent to the webmaster@uakron.edu email via the Contact Us form:

“looking for in working with our stem students in the cleveland ohio please contact via email”

Plenty of English words there, but perhaps not quite enough. Throw in “help” and “area” and you get close to a sentence. Though what kind of “help” this professor from another college was asking for was still unclear. Yes, we looked him up.  And no, his follow up emails didn’t make any more sense.

The next was in response to the email announcing to the undergraduate students that their student government constitution ratification ballot was now open:

“ok thank you passed late me if need us be done or sing up ilove to ass will hlape polpe ok halpe aorn ohio ”

I did not respond to this one.

With some work, a few words may be translated. “sing up” suggests “sign up”. “hlape polpe” could be “help people” – and then “ok halpe aorn” could be “or help Akron”

The rest… I’ve got nothing. Even the most egregious of texting errors can’t fully explain this note from a student at 9 am on a Monday morning.
Now, I’m sure you could find plenty of errors in my communications – but none so far as to render the message unobtainable.

I printed out the second email as “the least comprehensible email I’ve ever gotten – including spam” and it will serve as a reminder that some things just make no damn sense.

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I think I’ve mentioned before that my house it somewhat dry and I frequently build up a static charge. To protect my electronics, I’ve taken to touching the pull chain from my ceiling fan in my living room to discharge the lightning before touching the playstation controller.

I was watching a DVD today and got up to check on dinner. I reached up to the pull chain, anticipating the zap – but this time, in addition to the lightning bolt at my fingertip, I also felt a tingle down the back of my leg.

And, several feet away on the arm of the couch, my playstation controller paused the DVD.

I didn’t touch it at all and wasn’t even near it. But I affected it when I grounded myself from across the room.

Weird.

It’s a good thing I didn’t shuffle my feet or I might have killed my next door neighbor.

And, knowing me, I’m going to end up a super-villain. So, sorry, in advance.