slightly awkward, 2:53 am

I was at Chipotle last week and of the large group of kids at one of the tables, I recognized two of them. Not because had met them, but because their dad – my fraternity brother and former room-mate – posts copious pictures of them on facebook. I didn’t see him but I did spot his wife, whom I knew from college.

Now, I’m kinda terrible at keeping friendships going over time. It manifests itself as a variant of social anxiety and I would generally prefer to just “duck and cover” to avoid potentially awkward situations.

But, recognizing that I need to work on this, I stopped by her table on my way out. I said her name, then – where there wasn’t a spark of recognition – introduced myself and where I knew her from. She remarked that it had been a long time and I offered that I had aged (giving her an out on not recognizing me) – and suggested that she hadn’t in the 20+ years. Which was true – she looked just as I remembered her from college. She was flattered and thanked me. We talked for a moment and she promised to tell her husband that she saw me – and then I was on my way.

So, not only did she not recognize me – she also didn’t remember me at all – clearly.

Which struck me as odd. I recognized and remembered her easily enough and I still keep in touch with her husband on Facebook. It “felt” like we still had a connection, but it was an online illusion. I may have been current on her family based on some posts on facebook – and her husband could have been current with me – but it wasn’t quite enough.

Still, I’m glad I said hello and hope I didn’t creep her out too much.

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The other night I woke up at 2:53 am. I glanced over at the clock to see if it was time to get up and then took a quick inventory. I had a vague sense that I needed to use the bathroom, but not urgent. There was also a slight bit of heartburn, but nothing to write home about. The cat wasn’t anywhere nearby and my dreams had been about as boring as they get for me.

[I had tried to return a library book at a bank and it didn’t work. That was pretty much it.]

I lay there in bed a moment, sort of marveling at how deeply still and quiet it was. And since I’m never up at 2:53 am, I considered getting up and exploring the hour – maybe even going for a walk.

But, I had work the next day so I instead just went to the bathroom and then got some tums. Back in bed and I was asleep in a few minutes.

I don’t know what woke me and whatever it was wasn’t enough to keep me awake, but I would have liked to puzzle it out and maybe see the world again at the early morning hour.  Instead, the mystery remained unsolved and sleep took over.  I was fine the next day at work, but I kinda wish I had followed my impulse.