Last week, I sat through a webinar on some changes to our e-commerce system. I had a chat window open with my boss and shared my comments and observations. Here is the transcript of that session:
[9/1/2016 1:21 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
watching a ******* recorded webinar. I’m hoping they really have some good news about the emarket, but I think it’s at the end of the video. Currently, I’m losing the will to live.
Everything is darkness.
[9/1/2016 1:23 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
Sorrow hangs over me like a cloud, weeping tears of abject despair.
If bleakness was a tree, my heart would be covered by a forest.
[9/1/2016 1:25 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
I may never wake from this endless nightmare.
[9/1/2016 1:29 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
Has time stopped? Do the sands no longer flow?
[9/1/2016 1:30 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
Even my blood slows in my veins. My heart strains to beat against the sluggish bracken.
[9/1/2016 1:33 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
But, wait, is there hope? Is there actual relevant information? Could this be what I have waited for all these years? Is this.. is this the light?
[9/1/2016 1:38 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
But they tease! They tease me with cosmetic changes! Strumpets! Where is the substance?
[9/1/2016 1:42 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
Names. Names. A legion of new names. Still, they stink of the pit.
[9/1/2016 1:50 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
Ah, mighty AJAX. He strides onto the field like a warrior. Oh, but wait, it’s but a mask. His face revealed – a tired and cowardly pretender.
[9/1/2016 1:52 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
A plague upon thy house. Tis smoke and mirrors! Where are the templates? Where is the CSS? Dost thou care nothing for internet standards? Vile wenches…
[9/1/2016 1:57 PM] Kreider,Eric W:
I see you holding one of the brains from your jar out and speaking to it a la Hamlet
[9/1/2016 2:00 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
Hamlet got off easy. This, this is madness. Ophelia was a light-hearted nymph compared to this travesty.
[9/1/2016 2:01 PM] Kreider,Eric W:
lol Strumpets! In the court!
[9/1/2016 2:01 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
I Fall! I fall upon my stake! Tis my only escape.
[9/1/2016 2:02 PM] Kreider,Eric W:
Another unrecoverable hour goes by…
[9/1/2016 2:04 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
Would that lightning strike my screen and end this now. The seconds of misery creep… ah, but soft! Tis ended! My heart leaps at freedom!
[9/1/2016 2:05 PM] Kreider,Eric W:
*shaking head smiling but still, sad*
[9/1/2016 2:06 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
I shall share this with noble Kevin, he who is Rushing. Mayhap his wisdom will enlighten.
Clearly, I need to read more Shakespeare and incorporate that style into my everyday conversations. It’ll make the meetings more interesting, anyway.
Stefanie Shatrich
And, the rest is silence……
Wendy Lampner
You are doing this wrong. I’ve told Eric the secret. He should have shared it with you. You need the right mead in your cup to properly enjoy a webinar.