Things I learned on summer vacation: By Anthony, Age 43

1. It’s okay for women to be topless in public in Asheville, NC.

I only saw one woman do this and she was pretty cool about it. A little surprising, but… good for her. I considered taking off my shirt as we went past in a show of support, but that’s not really the point since I can do that anywhere.  And frequently do.

2. Southern Hospitality is hit or miss.

The best example of this was the woman at the grocery store meat counter who was very reluctant to slice up some turkey for me and made no bones about telling me that she had other and more important things to do in the back. And even if the meat counter didn’t close until 8, she was shutting it down at 7 since she was the only one working.  I got my turkey, but it was a near thing.

3. I’m still a pretty good swimmer, but it’s not as much fun.

My arm bothered me quite a bit. I could still move through the water and got a good stretch, but it wasn’t the same. On the plus side, no sea creatures bothered me and I was able to shuck my trunks for most of my time in the water.

4. I totally rock at roundabouts.

I mean, totally. I nailed them every time. Take that, Clark W. Griswald.

5. Island deer like apples. A lot.

6. We have terrible, terrible luck at eating out.

Poor directions to some places or they simply didn’t exist. Terrible service at others – our server at one place just left and didn’t come back. Some places closed at 3 or said they were open but were closed or just had locked doors – or closed only on the day we went there. Or open, but no food. Or no silverware. Pizza Hut would rather you not eat in and aren’t going to bring the pizza to you. It was kind of amazing when we did find a place where everything worked out – except their fries were terrible.

7. With my haircut, the swimming, and being the getaway driver for Jim’s photo project, I’m basically Jason Statham.

In every movie he’s ever done.

8. Water-saturated beach sand is a non-Newtonian solid.

Google It.

9. I’m not a good tourist.

I need regular meals at regular times, I’m not good with crowds, and I really don’t like being lost.  And if you happen to be around me in a crowd of people at 2 o’clock when I haven’t been able to find the restaurant (DAMN YOU, GOOGLE MAPS!), well, heaven help you.

10. All I really need is a beach, a book, a full belly, and an empty bladder.

That’s really all it takes for me to have a good vacation.