The snow plows in Akron are not know for their nuance or gentle approach to the roads. As a consequence, the PVC pipe that runs out to my street from the sump pump in the basement got exposed and then torn up by the plow’s blade. Not only were the jagged edges unsightly, they allowed dirt to fall into the pipe and impede the flow of water.
With finally some good weather, I decided to tackle the project. Step one was a trip to Lowes for PVC pipe, a connector, and some dirt.
Felt weird buying dirt, actually.
Then home, an early lunch, and out to the yard. Two shovels, a handsaw, tape measure, gloves, a hand trowel – and a vague sense of a plan later – I uncovered the pipe and dug out underneath it as best I could. Then I got the new pipe cut and ready. I waiting until the sump pump ran again, then went inside to unplug it while I worked on the pipe.
I measured the pipe I was to cut, twice, then went after it with the hand saw.
Which then broke.
Back inside for pliers and the Dremel. If the handsaw wouldn’t cut it, then the Dremel should be able to. Then out to the garage for extension cords. I opened the Dremal case – except it was the drill, not the Dremel. Back to the basement for the Dremel. Then back to the garage for another extension cord since it wasn’t working.
Finally got the Dremel up and running and cut most of the way through the pipe. With a mighty heave, I broke the pipe free and held it aloft for a moment like a warrior.
I tossed it aside, beat my chest, and then inspected the pipe. The edge was rough and I used the Dremel to clean it up.
Then I realized I would need a mallet to get the pipe shoved into place and it was back to the basement. While I was in the house I figured that only way to prevent a trip back for more tools was to bring out the Least Likely tool I had. This was working from the idea that if I had brought Object X outside, they I would have already exhausted all other options.
So, before I went outside with the mallet, I also went to the kitchen and grabbed the hot air popcorn popper. This, I deemed would be the tool I would need the least. I set this on the grass and finished setting the pipe in place. Then I went in and turned the sump pump back on.
And it worked perfectly.
I gave a little cheer and started to cover the pipe with dirt. I remembered I had some grass seed and went to the garage to get that – taking some of the tools and the popper back in. No sooner did I have the popper back inside when I realized I would need a watering can and a bucket.
So, back to the garage for those tools – then got the seed planted and watered.
It was 2:30 – a full three hours after I had started – before I finally finished up.
I sat on the porch for a bit with a can of lemonade and a book and listened to the occasional flow of water from the sump pump to the street.
What have I learned:
1. I need a new handsaw
2. I got this
3. I’m a bad-ass
4. I should have brought out the popcorn popper sooner – would have saved me some trips to the basement and garage.
5. Also, bad-ass