I got stopped at a sobriety checkpoint last night. We were on our way back from picking up Jim’s traditional thanksgiving parade Krispy Kreams and suddenly there were orange barrels everywhere and only one lane was open. I figured it was just more random road work, but Jim pointed out all the police and we realized what was really going on.

I slowed to a stop and waited my turn – then pulled up to one of the officers and rolled down my window.

He greeted us and shown a flashlight into the car. He then said, “I see you’re with the red cross,” (because of my red cross blood donor jacket) and I politely corrected him and said I was just a frequent donor. I could have let it ride, but if he’d quizzed me I was hosed.

He asked for my license and I got that out and handed it to him. A quick look and he handed it back – then said it was clear that neither of had been drinking because couldn’t smell any alcohol in the car.

The officer then sent us on our way and I merged into traffic and drove off.

Now, here are my problems with all of this:

1. What are the odds that someone who has been drinking – at 7 o’clock in the evening – will be driving down that road? There were plenty of opportunities to turn down another street before that checkpoint and their success rate must be terrible.

2. The assumption is that I had been drinking. Why check my car otherwise? If the assumption – innocent until proven guilty here – is that I’m not drinking, then why stop us? Why stop anyone? I wasn’t doing anything wrong other than driving down that particular stretch of road at that time.

3. If I had been drinking, was the flashlight check around my car going to reveal an open container? How screwed up do you have to be to not hide that? Seriously.

4. He didn’t smell alcohol so we were free to go. I might have been high as a freaking kite on all kinds of other crap, but his nose was the key and we “smelled” okay.

In the grand scheme of things, this wasn’t a huge deal and didn’t take a huge amount of time.

But:

1. Was this the best use of the half dozen officers (and the additional crew to set up the barrels and signs) time? If there was anything better and more productive they could have been doing – why weren’t they doing that?

2. What is the success rate of such a checkpoint? It must be astonishingly low.  Was it just for the illusion of safety? (“We’re keeping drunk drivers off the road!”)

3. Is this even freaking legal? There’s no way there’s any kind of probable cause to even stop me and ask for my ID – just for being out driving.

As we drove off, Jim said we should have offered them some doughnuts – though I doubt they would have appreciated the humor in that. As I was writing this I realized I could have done the “These are not the droids you are looking for” hand wave – but they might not have enjoyed the stormtrooper comparison.

So, I’m cranky about this, but in the grand scheme I don’t really have a good reason, I guess.

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I watched about 7 minutes of the Macy’s parade this morning. Right up until a cloyingly earnest child actress gushed about playing such “a legendary role” and how it’s been her lifelong dream (she’s 8) to see the Macy’s parade in person. Between that and Al Roker, I knew I was’t going to last long and wisely found other things to do with my time. There was just a little bit too much, “I’M SO EXCITED TO BE HERE BECAUSE I’M SO EXCITED TO BE HERE!” and “I’m smiling so hard my face hurts!”

Yeah, I’m a cynic.  Not much of a fan of the holidays – other than Halloween – but I’m dang good at buying or making presents for people.   So, I’m about 75% Grinch, I think.