I got invited to got see Cher in concert last weekend – with Cyndi Lauper as the opening act. Not my favorite artists, but how can you say no to Cher? The answer is that you can’t.
The adventure began with just trying to get to the venue. We left to head up to Cleveland in plenty of time – even factoring in traffic and parking. Or so we thought. As we got close – less than 2 minutes away by the GPS – we got stuck in traffic. And we stayed at “2 minutes away” for a very long time.
We finally broke free, found some parking, and looked for the walkway over to the arena. Also, the restrooms in the Tower City were inexplicably closed – something that would become more important shortly.
Along with a ton of baseball and Cher fans, we were channeled down the hallway… to a stop.
Another “very long time” or so passed while we waited, crowded in a hallway. Every so often someone from the far right side could be seen heading through the doors. The escalators were closed for some reason – though clearly running – and a few folks were taking the stairs. We finally were able to that as well and got up to the top of the stairs where we were stopped again. Something about an entrance being closed for no apparent reason.
It’s now 8 o’clock and the show has started. We’re finally allowed to head the rest of the way up and fought the crowds to get in. Then up an elevator to the correct level and – blissfully – open restrooms.
With that done, we find the correct entrance to the seating and make our way to the seats.
Now, I’ve got a fear of heights. It’s not crippling anymore because I’ve been working on it, but I’m not exactly comfortable. And we were way up there. And right on the edge of the balcony with only a short plexiglass partition (knee height if you are standing) between the seats and… well… certain painful death. On the left, a drunk woman is leaning back over the partition with a beer in her hand. On the right, a heavy-set woman that wouldn’t give ground if you needed to get past her.
I settled into my seat, put in some earplugs, and got a death grip on the arm-rest.
Cyndi Lauper was already on stage and a couple songs into her set. She did a pretty good job and seemed to have fun – even with the songs you know she’s sung thousands of times. Her band was good and she had plenty of energy.
She wrapped up her act, thanked the band, and headed off stage.
The house lights came back up and I could now see just how high up we were. I did some deep breathing, kept to my seat, and tried to relax as they got set up for Cher.
After a bit, Cher’s voice came over the speakers and said that she was running late, but she’d be on stage quicker than we could say, “She’s fabulous!”
The lights fell shortly after that and the music started. And Cher was… well.. Cher.
She started the show up on a 20 ft tall platform in a huge head-dress. Over the course of the evening we were treated to a circus, a two story tall Trojan horse (that she emerged from), a burlesque show, a duet with Sonny (I got you babe, with a video wall of a Sonny recording), a vampire attack, native american dress, enough rhinestones and sequins to start a new currency, and plenty of “I’m 100 years old and I still fit into my costume” humor.
And she’s still got it. Cher was belting out songs at full power and put on an amazing show. She’s still an amazing singer – hell, an amazing performer. Really awesome.
Her last number had her dressed as a celestial figure on a platform that lifted up off the stage and floated majestically over the audience as she sang.
As she drifted past us, I turned and said, “I think we just got Cher-ed”
She landed, stepped off the platform, and gracefully walked towards the back of the stage to leave – stopped once to turn back to the audience and wave.
The lights came up, I gratefully made my way back to solid ground, and we headed home.
She said this is her final tour – and if so, she went out with a bang – but she made a big deal of winking and crossing her fingers as she said it.
It was a great show and a lot of fun. I can’t recommend the venue, but I can recommend Cher.
She’s still got it.