The state of Illinois is in the middle of a debate on gay marriage. One of my cousins that lives there posted this on his facebook page:
“Gay marriage is not right (I think) but the issue isn’t important enough to fight about. If they want to get married, let them. I think that before we bother to talk about something so small we should fix all the other problems this country has. Otherwise we may end up with no country left to practice all these new freedoms in. We can’t spend hours and hours fighting about the emotional rights of some people and not spend ten minutes talking about deficit spending.”
One of his friends followed up with these comments:
“its wrong in so many ways it dosnt matter how u look at it i think they should be beat untilo stright”
and then…
“i am smart but gay people shouldnt have the right to marry other gays its all because of the stupid president obama this country was better when bush had control and gays would have never got the right to marry”
While I don’t normally take much stock in Facebook posts and think they aren’t worth the paper they aren’t printed on, this struck a chord with me and I responded with this comment:
“Let’s say, hypothetically, that I believe that curly haired people shouldn’t be allowed to get married. I don’t really have a basis for this other than my beliefs and the opinions of my family and friends. And I don’t have any first hand knowledge because I have straight hair. Ridiculous, right? Curly haired people were born that way – they didn’t have a choice in the matter. And I could reply, “Their moms must have used too many home perms on them when they were kids,” or “it’s just a phase, their hair will straighten out,”
And so the curly haired person tries to hide it with relaxers or shaving their heads. But they are, intrinsically, still curly haired. It’s who they are. And maybe enough people share my beliefs that, in most states, those curly haired weirdos can’t get married. Or adopt kids. Or hold hands in public.
And then, in a gesture of concession, I say that curly-haired people can get married – even though I still think it’s wrong. But, really, the issue isn’t important enough to debate. It only affects a few curly haired people in this country. A minority. Why should I care what happens to them – these second class citizens – when we have all these more important issues?
Now substitute gays and lesbians. Or women who would like to vote. Or african americans who would like to be free. Or people with left hands that can’t use scissors like the rest of us “normal” people. Or people that are overweight. Or anyone who is “different”.
It could be argued that the federal deficit affects everyone and is thus a more important issue. I counter that the larger issue is that everyone in this country should have the same rights as everyone else. That simple idea is one of the things that makes us Americans.
I’m not sure how to end this as I step down off my soap-box except to say that my intention is not to beat up on someone for having an opinion on facebook – but rather to encourage a bit more thought on a topic that I think really affects us all.”
So, there’s my entry into the debate – swiftly lost in the myriad posts about where someone ate dinner and how cute their cat is. (Mine is cuter, incidentally)
Will it make a difference? Will it change the way anyone thinks? I don’t know. But it was worth trying.