Thursday morning I got up, got dressed in nice clothes, and drove to Wheeling, WV. I stopped for a bite to eat on the way and got to the funeral home at about 1:00. Jeff’s family was already there and were trying to put pictures of him on display – though they could barely see because of the tears. I broke down when I saw them – and even more so when I saw the urn amongst the flowers. Hugs were exchanged and I did okay until they put on some music. One of the songs was by Sarah McLaughlin- a favorite of Jeff’s – and I lost it again.
The visitors started to arrive at 2:00 and though I wasn’t in the receiving line, I talked to many people that had know Jeff and I. It was the suddenness of what happened that had everyone so stunned.
When I wasn’t talking to anyone, I was kind of dazed. Just standing there, caught up in memories and all the what-if’s.
Three friends of mine and Jeff’s came down from Akron to pay their respects and to check on me. I met them for dinner and they helped me keep my mind off things.
We then went to the evening calling hours and they met Jeff’s siblings, stayed and talked to me a bit, then made the 2 hour trip back.
I stayed until the calling hours were over, then hung out with his siblings for bit before going to the hotel. I slept poorly – not surprisingly.
Everyone at the visitation was very kind and supportive – with two exceptions.
One was an old friend of Jeff’s that – in a not so subtle way – implied that what happened to Jeff was my fault. I was well on my way to a horrified expression on my face when she realized what she had said and quickly tried to back-peddle. She left not long after that and I spent a little time trying to get my mental balance back- not easy since I was already on shaky ground.
The other was a friend of his family that very thoroughly did not want to acknowledge the relationship I had with Jeff, but was eager to tell me how much she was praying for me. While I appreciated the gesture, the grip she had on my arm and her zealous tone made me a little uncomfortable.
I was good to see so many of Jeff’s friends and family at the visitation and as tough as it was, I’m glad I was there.