Jeffrey Pappa

I write in my blog things that happen to me – hence the first person – but this entry is not about me.

Instead, I start off with an apology if this is the first you’ve heard of this – I tried to let people know in a more personal way, but didn’t have a way to contact everyone.  I have some terrible news… Jeff Pappa passed away last week.

I had been trying to reach him much of the week – I was supposed to take him to the airport for a job interview out of state and hadn’t heard back.  When his neighbors called me and told me that his mail was piling up in the mailbox and he didn’t answer his door, I called Jeff’s brother and asked if he or his siblings had heard from Jeff.  When they hadn’t, the landlord was contacted and so were the police.  They went into his apartment and found him.

The neighbor called me and I called Jeff’s brother – it was the worst phone call I’ve ever had to make.   He broke down and had to call me back.

I left work and went over to the apartment to try and help with the investigation, giving the detective and officers what I knew about Jeff’s medical history.  They were all very kind and supportive – I’m grateful for their compassion.

The medical examiners took Jeff’s body to their office for review and I tried to help his family as best I could – none of them are local and I know it must have been frustrating being so far away.

I stayed at the apartment until the detective was ready to leave – then I shut off lights and closed the door.

In the coming days there will be visiting hours and a funeral service.  His family will try to sort out the material parts of his life and we will all try to deal with our grief.

Jeff was my room-mate, my partner, my boyfriend – however you want to say – for nearly 8 years.  We lived together in that apartment until I moved out last December.  We were good for a long time – and then we fell apart.  And I know I hurt him terribly when I told him I wanted to end things.  Even after we were no longer a couple, we remained friends as best we could and I took care of him when he was sick.

Jeff seemed to have rallied in the past couple months and was looking forward to a new job and a new start.  His last post on Facebook was a complaint that he thought he was coming down with strep throat.   I don’t know the final report from the medical examiners office as to what finally took him from us, but I suspect it was that all that he had gone through in the past year finally taking it’s toll.

It’s snowing as I sit and write this – thinking about the time he and shared and going over the thousand things I could have done differently.

Jeff’s family is planning a service for him back in hometown this week.  I hope to have the final details today and anyone that wants to join me should contact me for times and directions.

There are more stories to tell, but those are for another day.   Those that knew Jeff, please keep his family in your thoughts.