(e) check yourself before you wreck yourself

Let me start off by saying that I’m a big fan of the enviroment.  I recycle, try to conserve energy, and I’m really looking forward to composting my grass clippings.  That being said, I freaking despise the Ohio e-check.  Here’s the scoop:

1. My car is a 2000 cavalier and has to be checked every two years, prior to getting my registration renewed.   The test involves plugging this into a computer at the testing center and downloading the emissions information.  Note that if the car was older than 1996, they would do a different/manual test.  Also note that if the Check Engine light is on, it will fail the download.

2. I went to the e-check station and as I pulled up I told the guy that the light was on, that I’ve had it diagnosed as a “fuel cap” issue, that I’ve replaced the “fuel cap” twice with no resolution, and could they do the manual test?  He replied, in a kind of “why is your brain so stupid?” manner and informed me that the computer determines the test.

And they we proceeded anyway.  Another, much friendlier, staff person gave me the printout at the end of the test and told me that I passed.  I was elated.  Or at least very happy/relieved.

3. The next day, printout in hand, I went to the BMV.  The clerk at the desk looked at that and said, “This says your car failed the test”.  I told her that they told me the opposite and she said I would need to go back and have them check and print again.

4. Back over to the echeck station, I told them what had happened.   The person I talked to apologized that the other staff person had told me wrong and they could get me a card to get a temporary tag.

5. On my way back over to the BMV, I realized it was a lost cause.  The card would help get a temporary tag – not a sticker that I need – and would require me to present my title – which I don’t carry around with me.  I went in anyway, confirmed that it wasn’t going to work, and was advised that I should save everything to avoid a fine for being late on down the road.

6. When I got home, I got an appointment to get my car looked at yet again on Saturday.

Now, if they had done the manual test instead of relying on my car to keep track of it’s own emissions, they my registration would be done at this point.   Also, the whole thing is based on air quality in this county.   Which is not the fault of the cars – it’s the history of industry in the area.  Fortunatly, the echeck station and the BMV are pretty close to where I live and work.  I’m hoping that the “repair” (which might be just turning off the dang light) gets things done so I can wrap this up before my birthday.   Or I should just sell the car and start riding the bus.  Thank you, state of Ohio, for complicating my week.