I’m guessing this might just be a small fragment of a run-of-the-mill mental illness, but I’ve had a few moments of what could best be described as “disconnected perception”.<\/p>\n
The first was years ago when I was an undergrad on campus and had too little sleep. I had a moment of absolute clarity where I believed that I knew literally everything. \u00a0Just a moment of all encompassing knowledge – every thought of every being, the\u00a0position\u00a0of every atom, every secret of the universe in one moment. \u00a0And then gone the next.<\/p>\n
Years after that, I had a moment of utter peace with the universe. \u00a0A feeling of being exactly in harmony with everything and perfectly lined up with some cosmic plan. \u00a0Again, only a moment of peace in the sunshine and it was gone.<\/p>\n
Months ago, I remember walking on campus and I had a moment of feeling that if the force of will that\u00a0propelled\u00a0me along my tired path dropped just a little bit more, I might lose my anchor on reality. \u00a0I joked about it as a SMEF – Spontaneous Massive\u00a0Existence\u00a0Failure – but the weariness \u00a0– and emptiness \u00a0– was profound.<\/p>\n
Today, while I was eating my lunch, I looked up at the sky and imagined my place in the vastness of the universe. \u00a0From the planet to the solar system to the galaxy to the supercluster and beyond until my own existence was rendered insignificant. \u00a0Instead of feeling comforted about my place, I felt meaningless.<\/p>\n
Knowledge, peace,\u00a0emptiness, and\u00a0insignificance. \u00a0 \u00a0I know full well that I’m attaching too much importance to these moments of disconnected perception – but even an illusion can be food for thought.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I’m guessing this might just be a small fragment of a run-of-the-mill mental illness, but I’ve had a few moments of what could best be described as “disconnected perception”. The first was years ago when I was an undergrad on campus and had too little sleep. I had a moment of absolute clarity where I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_bluesky_dont_syndicate":"","_bluesky_syndication_accounts":"","_bluesky_syndication_text":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-865","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/865","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=865"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/865\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":867,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/865\/revisions\/867"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=865"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=865"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=865"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}