Everyone has a story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But some of those stories are quite <\/em>stupid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Let me set the scene\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n Jim and I decided to try a different pizza place this evening for dinner. He called the order in and I went to get it – arriving 1 minute, 30 seconds ahead of the estimated completion time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n That time isn\u2019t really relevant – other than to note that, as usual, I have my shit together<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The woman that walks in just ahead of me holds the door open for me – which is nice. We\u2019ll call her Woman One. The two of us wait in the very small lobby for a moment while the clerk takes a lengthy to-go order on the phone. While we stand there, another woman walks in – we\u2019ll call her Woman Two and she\u2019s talking on her phone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But not just talking on her phone. She\u2019s got the phone on speaker and she\u2019s holding it up to her face horizontally – like she\u2019s having a conversation with a saucer about what happened to her tea cup. <\/p>\n\n\n\n (For clarity, people that do this are MONSTERS<\/em><\/strong> and deserve whatever horrible fate that befalls them.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n This conversation, though, is about a business deal that a family member wants her to get involved in. More on that in a moment\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n The clerk is still working on the phone order and before she gets done, Woman One leaves the lobby and goes outside. No pizza, no jo-jos, no cheese-sticks. She just leaves. When I later go to the parking lot I\u2019ll discover that she has left completely. For now, though, my place in line has bumped up. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Woman Two has continued her conversation.\u00a0 The amount the family member needs is $20,000 and of course <\/em>she could get that – obviously <\/em>– but isn\u2019t sure she should.\u00a0 The person on the other end of the conversation isn\u2019t sure she should do that either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The clerk finishes and I give her the name for the order. She disappears into the back for approximately 9,000 years. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Woman Two now relates that she was instructed to go to the bank to get help with the paperwork and that she has $20,000 in equity in her home. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Which, gentle reader, one should note is not<\/em> the same as having $20,000 readily available.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now the conversation goes back to the merits of the business venture and if she is willing to put her house on the line for it.\u00a0 The consensus between Woman Two, her caller, (and mysel)f is generally \u201cno\u201d, but still open for debate.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n The clerk comes back with my order and while I\u2019m navigating the payment screen someone asks Woman Two what order she\u2019s there for. She dramatically sighs at having her conversation interrupted, then pauses the conversation long enough to give them two orders – the second of which she\u2019s uncertain of the pronunciation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n No sooner has she uttered the names, she too leaves the restaurant. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The other clerk tries to get confirmation on the names, but she\u2019s gone.\u00a0 I finish paying, get a receipt and take a moment to wonder:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDoes no one know how this works?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you don\u2019t follow that simple sequence, it doesn\u2019t work. <\/p>\n\n\n\n As I walk out, thankful for my food and my wits, I see Woman Two heading back towards the restaurant – carrying her DoorDash bags to pick up the orders. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I am not a financial expert, but I think perhaps that Woman Two should consider very carefully her options before investing in a business venture with a family member. Though, given the way she was talking on the phone, who am I to say?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Woman One, as I mentioned, was nowhere to be found. I hope she figured out her error with steps 2 through 4 and eventually came back for her order.<\/p>\n\n\n\n And the pizza?<\/p>\n\n\n\n It was okay – if maybe a little pricey.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Everyone has a story. But some of those stories are quite stupid. Let me set the scene\u2026 Jim and I decided to try a different pizza place this evening for dinner. He called the order in and I went to get it – arriving 1 minute, 30 seconds ahead of the estimated completion time. 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