It started with a Commodore VIC-20.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This was the first computer in our house – purchased by my parents when I was a kid. It was a computer-in-a-keyboard with a cassette-tape player for the programs and was connected to the TV by an A\/V switch for the monitor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It wasn\u2019t very powerful by today\u2019s standards, but it was a marvel in our home. It came with a BASIC programming guide and a couple games – one of which I managed to halt, then reprogram so that I could always beat the game. Mom was amazed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The neighbors had an Atari and the Space Invaders didn’t stand a chance against us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Years later was a Nintendo and hours of Metroid, the Legend of Zelda, and enough Tetris to support the entire Russian economy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
From there, a Playstation with Crash Bandicoot, Mortal Kombat (FINISH HIM!), and extreme vertigo playing Tomb Raider for the first time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There was a brief flirtation with a Wii – until a minor injur-wii – and I wouldn\u2019t pass up a chance to play Xbox, but I was a Playstation man through and through. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
(Hundreds of hours on the PC with Minecraft, notwithstanding.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And from the Playstation 2, 3, and 4, I explored the far reaches of space and the depths of the ocean. From unimaginable future adventures to the ancient past to modern car chases, I ran, jumped, double-jumped, and soared. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was amazing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Until it wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It started with Subnautica – an underwater exploration game that I had really loved until a second playthrough revealed a bug that I couldn\u2019t get past. The only option was to abandon my cool base and nearly completed sub and start over. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I opted instead to play the sequel and enjoyed it until I encountered an objective that I couldn\u2019t get past until I checked a guide on the internet. The solution was not intuitive and later on the ending was\u2026uninteresting. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I switched to No Man\u2019s Sky and a new update where you could help save an outpost – until a glitch made the outpost unplayable. Even with a literal galaxy of worlds to explore, it stopped being fun – like a kernel of popcorn stuck in your teeth that you just can\u2019t get loose. By the time you do, the rest of the popcorn is cold.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I bought the DLC (downloadable content) packs for Dead Cells and found them to be more of the same. Something was wrong – not with the games, really, but with me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The final straw was Assassin\u2019s Creed Odyssey. I had made some progress in the game and unlocked the larger map and instead of being excited about new areas to explore – it just seemed\u2026exhausting. How many hundreds of hours lay ahead of me? One camel trip after another to find some trinket in the desert – over and over again. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I canceled out of the game and turned off the playstation for the night. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Over the next few days I tried to play other games from my library, but the spark was gone. And I realized too that over the past few years, when the stress of just\u2026you know, existing, got to be too much, I was playing games not to pass the time, but to make the time pass. As just a way to get through the rest of the day so that I could go to sleep instead of something to be enjoyed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And none of that is very healthy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, I made sure my password was stored safely, then I fired up the playstation for the last time and ran the Initialization. This resets the system to the factory defaults and takes hours to run. And while it was running, I packed up my games and carefully cleaned all the components. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
When it was done, I put everything into a couple of bags and set them in the hallway. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And then I waited for two weeks, to make sure this is what I really wanted to do. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Today, I loaded everything up and took the games and the system to Gamestop to sell everything.\u00a0 \u00a0 I got some cash that will go into the bank and went home to do more yardwork.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Over the past two weeks I\u2019ve been reading more and finding my attention span getting better again. And I\u2019ve almost figured out how to knit – though the instructions for casting-on could be a little better. Also, a lot of yardwork. So. Much. Yardwork.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I haven\u2019t really figured out what will replace the hole left by the bright pixels on the screen, but I know reading and learning something new are far better for me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
And maybe someday, when a playstation 7 or 8 rolls around, maybe I\u2019ll pick up a controller again. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
For now, though, I need to take better care of my head and make better use of my time – for my own sake. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I miss the rush of firing up a hyperdrive or teleporting to a rooftop. Of standing alone against an army of monsters and emerging with a blood-soaked blade and a new scar. Of just-one-more level before bed and one last mystery to solve. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But there are other adventures to be had in the real world, I suppose. And the robots, zombies, trolls, heroes, and aliens will have to get along without me. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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