{"id":2405,"date":"2018-07-07T02:28:06","date_gmt":"2018-07-07T02:28:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/?p=2405"},"modified":"2018-07-07T02:28:06","modified_gmt":"2018-07-07T02:28:06","slug":"anthony-vs-skype","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/2018\/07\/07\/anthony-vs-skype\/","title":{"rendered":"Anthony vs. Skype"},"content":{"rendered":"

[Computer boots up]<\/span><\/p>\n

Lync: \u201cHi! \u00a0I\u2019m Lync! I\u2019m the microsoft messenger and video conferencing tool!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cYes, I know who you are. \u00a0This is not my first time on this computer,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Lync: \u201cNo Problem! Just let me get you logged in and you\u2019ll be able to connect to all of your colleagues!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cYeah, I don\u2019t really need you to do that\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Lync: \u201cI\u2019m already halfway there!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cActually, I need you to close. \u00a0I need to update some software on this machine and I\u2019ll need to reboot,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Lync: \u201cSure! \u00a0Oh, but you can\u2019t close the program by hitting that X in the corner. \u00a0I\u2019m still running down here in the toolbar if you need me!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cWhy would you do that? \u00a0Every other program closes when you hit X\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Lync: \u201cOhhhh…ummm…no. \u00a0You\u2019ll need to find the Exit in the menu.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cWhere\u2019s the menu?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Lync: \u201cUmmm\u2026 do you see something that looks like a gear? \u00a0Try that,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cAh, okay.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Lync: \u201cOkay! \u00a0Bye! I love you!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cI love you t\u2026 Just close, please,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

[attempt to shut down the computer]<\/span><\/p>\n

WINDOWS: \u201cA PROGRAM IS STILL RUNNING IN THE BACKGROUND! FOOL!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Lync: \u201cYou can\u2019t get rid of me that easilllllllllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

[computer reboots]<\/span><\/p>\n

Lync: \u201cHi! \u00a0I\u2019m Lync! I\u2019m the microsoft messenger and video conferencing tool!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me \u201cIt\u2019s been like 30 seconds since I last saw you,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Lync: \u201cNo Problem! Just let me get you logged in and you\u2019ll be able to connect to all of your colleagues!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cPlease stop,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

[use the gear to close the program]<\/span><\/p>\n

Lync: \u201cWait! \u00a0Come back! I love you!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

[attempt to uninstall the old version of Office]<\/span><\/p>\n

WINDOWS: \u201cYOU CANNOT USE THE INSTALLER BECAUSE IT ALREADY IN USE. NOOB!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

[wait a bit. \u00a0Then restart.]<\/span><\/p>\n

WINDOWS: \u201cA PROGRAM IS STILL RUNNING IN THE BACKGROUND! WHY ARE YOU SO DUMB?!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Lync: \u201cI was hidinnnnnnnnngggggg!!!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

[Restart]<\/span><\/p>\n

Skype: \u201cHi! \u00a0I\u2019m Skype for Business 2013! \u00a0I\u2019m the microsoft messenger and video conferencing tool! We\u2019re going to be best friends!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cWhere did you come from? \u00a0Weren\u2019t just just Lync?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Skype: \u201cOh, yeah, I upgraded myself when you weren\u2019t looking. \u00a0I\u2019m clever!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cOh, so you were keeping me from uninstalling office. \u00a0Look, you\u2019re not even the right version,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Skype: \u201cOh. \u00a0Well, I logged you in anyway,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cwhere\u2019s your menu?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Skype: \u201cIt\u2019s over\u2026 umm\u2026 I guess I moved it. \u00a0Here it is! No, wait, let me refresh. Okay, here. \u00a0No, wait, let me refresh again. Here you go! Right where I left it,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cokay, just close,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Skype: \u201cSee you soon!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cHey, windows. \u00a0I need to keep a certain program from starting itself up on a reboot. \u00a0Where are your start-up programs listed?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Windows: \u201cSIGH! \u00a0THE START UP SETTINGS ARE IN THE PROGRAM YOU JUST CLOSED. HOW ARE YOU SO DUM?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: [reopen Skype]<\/span><\/p>\n

Skype: \u201cHi! \u00a0I\u2019m Skype for Business 2013! \u00a0I\u2019m the microsoft messenger and video conferencing tool! We\u2019re going to be best friends!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cJust let me get to your menu\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Skype: \u201cNo program! \u00a0Just let me log you in first so you can talk to all of your colleagues. I notice you don\u2019t have a web cam set up, want me to do that for you?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cPlease just no. \u00a0Where are your settings?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Skype: \u201cUmmm\u2026 options? \u00a0I dunno. Oh, wait, let me refresh! \u00a0Yeah! Options. And then\u2026 tools? Try that,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: [turning off \u2018open on start up\u2019]<\/span><\/p>\n

Skype: \u201cWait! \u00a0Why would you do that? I just want to help! \u00a0What if someone wants to send you an instant message?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: [closing Skype]<\/span><\/p>\n

Skype: \u201cNoooooooo\u2026 fine. \u00a0This isn\u2019t over,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: [uninstalling Skype]<\/span><\/p>\n

Windows: \u201cI HAVE TO RUN THE INSTALLER!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cNo, I need to uninstall something,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Windows: \u201cI KNOW! LAUNCHING THE INSTALLER TO UNISTALL THE PROGRAM! \u00a0PLEASE TRY TO KEEP UP, MEATBAG!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cFine, whatever. \u00a0Please uninstall Office 2013 and Skype for Business 2013,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Windows: \u201cTHIS WILL TAKE AWHILE. GO CONSUME ANIMAL FLESH AND VEGETABLE TUBERS!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Time passes. I get a sandwich and chips.<\/span><\/p>\n

Windows: \u201cI AM DONE!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cokay, I need to install\u2026\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

Windows: \u201cNO!!!! I MUST REBOOOOOOOOT!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cokay, okay.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

[computer reboots]<\/span><\/p>\n

Windows: \u201cWHAT DO YOU WANT?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cOkay, please install Office 2016,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Windows: \u201cI MAY OR MAY NOT ASK YOU FOR A SECURITY KEY THAT YOU DON\u2019T HAVE AT SOME RANDOM POINT,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cI\u2019m ready for that,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Windows: \u201cYOU REALLY AREN\u2019T\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Windows: \u201cI MUST REBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Windows: \u201cI AM DONE! \u00a0DO YOU WANT TO GO ONLINE TO USE THE THING I JUST INSTALLED ON THIS COMPUTER?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cWait, why would I do that? \u00a0Could you just open Word so I can see\u2026?\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

Skype: \u201cHi! \u00a0I\u2019m Skype for Business 2016! \u00a0I\u2019m the microsoft messenger and video conferencing tool! We\u2019re going to be best friends!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cWhy did you launch?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Skype: \u201cSomebody forgot to save the changes.\u00a0 Or I just lost my config when you uninstalled me. Jerk.\u00a0 Just let me get you logged in so you can talk to all your friends and colleagues,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cI really don\u2019t have time for this. \u00a0Cancel sign in.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Skype: \u201cToo late!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cOkay, just close,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Skype: \u201cAh,ah! \u00a0You tried the X again. \u00a0I\u2019m still runnnnnnning!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

[I hold down the power button with contempt]<\/span><\/p>\n

Windows \u201cNOOOOOOOO! \u00a0YOU\u2019LL REGRET THIS WHEN WE RESTART IN SAFE MODE!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Still a better experience than trying to print a Christmas list.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[Computer boots up] Lync: \u201cHi! \u00a0I\u2019m Lync! I\u2019m the microsoft messenger and video conferencing tool!\u201d Me: \u201cYes, I know who you are. \u00a0This is not my first time on this computer,\u201d Lync: \u201cNo Problem! Just let me get you logged in and you\u2019ll be able to connect to all of your colleagues!\u201d Me: \u201cYeah, I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_bluesky_dont_syndicate":"","_bluesky_syndication_accounts":"","_bluesky_syndication_text":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2405","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2405","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2405"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2405\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2406,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2405\/revisions\/2406"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2405"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2405"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2405"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}