{"id":2385,"date":"2018-05-30T02:14:53","date_gmt":"2018-05-30T02:14:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/?p=2385"},"modified":"2018-05-30T02:14:53","modified_gmt":"2018-05-30T02:14:53","slug":"road-trip-in-three-parts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/2018\/05\/30\/road-trip-in-three-parts\/","title":{"rendered":"Road trip in three parts"},"content":{"rendered":"

Prelude<\/span><\/p>\n

I started the recent long holiday weekend with some serious thought to how I\u2019d spend my time. \u00a0Jim had homework and mulch planned for much of it, so I needed something to do. A couple of my friends were going to have their grand opening of a winery in West Virginia and while I\u2019d like to support them I don\u2019t drink and that\u2019s a long drive.<\/span><\/p>\n

It also occurred to me that it has been a while since I\u2019d been back to visit the cemetery where Jeff\u2019s ashes were scattered – also in West Virginia. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

By themselves, neither is perhaps really a good use of time, but together it seemed like a good day trip. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

On Friday, I checked in with Jeff\u2019s sister to see if she would be around for a visit. \u00a0She wasn\u2019t going to be – instead she was at a party for her nephew (just graduating high school) and niece (graduating college early). \u00a0She sent me photos and I was gobsmacked. It had been 6 years since I\u2019d seen them and the passage of time had turned them both into adults.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, I did a little checking on my own and found the address for the cemetery – and the winery – and planned to head out Saturday morning.<\/span><\/p>\n

—————-<\/span><\/p>\n

Part 1 – The grave<\/span><\/p>\n

I started my trip with a stop at the ATM – just in case – and on my way to the gas station my tire pressure warning light came on. \u00a0\u00a0I got that resolved, but it wasn\u2019t an auspicious way to start the trip. I was soon on the road and headed to Wheeling, WV.<\/span><\/p>\n

The trip took a couple hours and traffic wasn\u2019t bad. I found the cemetery without trouble and parked my car near where I thought the grave was located.<\/span><\/p>\n

And that was the problem. \u00a0I\u2019d been there once with Jeff to visit his mom\u2019s grave and again when his dad passed. \u00a0And once with Jeff\u2019s sister three years ago – but at no point did I really know where the graves were located. <\/span><\/p>\n

And it\u2019s a big cemetery. \u00a0I wandered around for a bit, but started to overheat. \u00a0So, I headed up to the office to see if they had a map. \u00a0But when I got there, the door was locked. <\/span><\/p>\n

I stood there for a minute, trying to figure out what to do next. \u00a0I had gone all that way and\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

I decided that I would just find a shady spot, sit, and think for a bit. \u00a0And that would have to be enough – though it was disappointing.<\/span><\/p>\n

As I was heading back to my car, a guy in a golf cart pulled up to the office and said he was opened up. \u00a0We went into the cool air and he asked for the name. I gave them Jeff\u2019s parents\u2019 names since he had a headstone there, but his ashes had been scattered. I didn\u2019t know how that worked, but the guy found them in the computer and asked me if Jeff was there too. \u00a0I said he was and he remarked that he used to know Jeff.\u00a0 Jeff had been a funeral director in Wheeling for a time so it wasn’t that odd, but… still…<\/span><\/p>\n

With an \u201caddress\u201d of sorts and a map, I was on my way. \u00a0It turned out that my instincts had been correct and I\u2019d been close, but any navigational triumph was short lived.<\/span><\/p>\n

I found his grave. \u00a0And I broke down.<\/span><\/p>\n

I tend to compartmentalize things and figured this part of the trip would consist of carefully opening the mental box and gently sorting through the memories – then closing it back up and putting it neatly away.<\/span><\/p>\n

Instead, it was as though someone pulled a pin on a mental grenade and tossed it into my head. Cardboard, tape, and carefully lettered labels went flying in my head.<\/span><\/p>\n

Everything washed over me as though no time had passed at all and I just stood there and sobbed uncontrollably. <\/span><\/p>\n

I just let it happen and eventually I settled myself down. \u00a0I knelt in the grass by the grave and apologized. Again. I couldn\u2019t have saved him, but perhaps I could have made his last days less terrible – at the cost of my own happiness. Seems a small price to pay, in hindsight. <\/span><\/p>\n

I took a few deep breaths and then pulled a few weeds. \u00a0Seemed the thing to do. Then I stood, said goodbye, and headed back to my car.<\/span><\/p>\n

I know, right down to the absolute core of my being, that he wasn\u2019t there. \u00a0That it was just a place and just a stone and literally anywhere else would have rationally been just the same.<\/span><\/p>\n

But, you know\u2026 It did matter.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, I occupied myself with finding a place to eat lunch and then eating before I got on the road again.<\/span><\/p>\n

And on the long road, I thought about the mess in my head and started to put things back into their boxes.<\/span><\/p>\n

———————-<\/span><\/p>\n

Part 2 – The winery<\/span><\/p>\n

It was two and a half hours to Point Pleasant – the site of my friends\u2019 new winery. \u00a0At one point I debated on skipping that part of the trip and just heading home – too much Aimee Mann, I suspect – but I do like surprising people and it would be a good thing to do.<\/span><\/p>\n

The GPS guided me unerringly and I arrived safe, though tired. As I pulled into the parking lot, I saw my friend wrangling a barrel outside to clean it. \u00a0I got out and walked over to him and it took him a minute to recognize me – I think I was just so far out of context it threw him – then he grinned and gave me a big hug. \u00a0I told him I was \u201csort of\u201d in the neighborhood – Wheeling – and decided to check out the operation. He laughed and his partner met us at the door – and his partner was just as surprised to see me.<\/span><\/p>\n

I got the tour of the wine making area, met the rest of the crew, and bought a bottle of wine for Jim. \u00a0We talked for a bit and I decided to head out when they got busy again. <\/span><\/p>\n

I think they were both glad to see me and I was happy I could help support their new adventure in a small way. <\/span><\/p>\n

Back in the car and three hours home. \u00a0I listened to some more upbeat music and got home safe and sound. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was an odd way to spend a Saturday, but mostly a good one. \u00a0I think I needed that trip and it was the right thing to do.<\/span><\/p>\n

I sit here tonight with a now cold cup of tea and a head that\u2019s still not sorted out.\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

But that\u2019s okay. <\/span><\/p>\n

And I\u2019m okay.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Prelude I started the recent long holiday weekend with some serious thought to how I\u2019d spend my time. \u00a0Jim had homework and mulch planned for much of it, so I needed something to do. A couple of my friends were going to have their grand opening of a winery in West Virginia and while I\u2019d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_bluesky_dont_syndicate":"","_bluesky_syndication_accounts":"","_bluesky_syndication_text":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2385","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2385","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2385"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2385\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2386,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2385\/revisions\/2386"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2385"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2385"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2385"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}