{"id":2377,"date":"2018-05-13T15:44:31","date_gmt":"2018-05-13T15:44:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/?p=2377"},"modified":"2018-05-13T15:44:31","modified_gmt":"2018-05-13T15:44:31","slug":"accidental-shoplifting-drawing-a-line","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/2018\/05\/13\/accidental-shoplifting-drawing-a-line\/","title":{"rendered":"accidental shoplifting, drawing a line"},"content":{"rendered":"

With the increased yard work, I\u2019ve also been making more trips to Lowe\u2019s. \u00a0And since the former owners of my house loved vines, I needed to buy some yard waste bags for the dreaded spring clean-up.<\/span><\/p>\n

I headed to my local Lowe\u2019s and tracked down the bags. \u00a0They were in packs of 5 each and only a couple bucks per package, so I hemmed and hawed a little about how many I thought I would need. \u00a03? 4?<\/span><\/p>\n

I picked up a few packs and headed to the front of the store – along with a couple more items. At the busy check-out, I set the bags down on the counter and told the clerk I had 3 packages. \u00a0He scanned the top one, rang me up, I paid, and was on my way.<\/span><\/p>\n

When I got home, I took the bags to the backyard to open up the first package and start the clean up of sticks and twigs and vines.<\/span><\/p>\n

Except, there were 4 packages of bags.<\/span><\/p>\n

My hemming and hawing had confused me on how many I\u2019d gotten – and I\u2019d ended up shoplifting.<\/span><\/p>\n

45 years old and now a felon.<\/span><\/p>\n

Took me longer than I figured, actually. \u00a0What with the streaking and liberal definition of \u201cvalid recyclables\u201d. <\/span><\/p>\n

A couple days later I needed to go back to Lowe\u2019s and made my first stop at the return desk. \u00a0\u00a0I explained to the clerk there that I\u2019d inadvertently picked up four packages and only got charged for 3. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She was a little surprised, but thanked me – and I went on into the store to get more supplies.<\/span><\/p>\n

Given that it was only a couple bucks I\u2019m guessing a lot of folks would have just kept that extra pack – but it would have worked on me like a tell-tale heart.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe bags! The bags! \u00a0The crinkling of the bags!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Ehem.<\/span><\/p>\n

I guess I\u2019m off the hook now, but if they come for me, I\u2019m running and they\u2019ll never take me alive.<\/span><\/p>\n

————————<\/span><\/p>\n

Lunchtime at work last week and the thought of nuking some frozen meal made me just\u2026 sad. \u00a0So, I hopped in the car and headed out to the local fast food restaurant. <\/span><\/p>\n

The same one that had the \u201cfeather-nugget\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now, I wasn\u2019t going to get nuggets this time. \u00a0Or for the foreseeable future. <\/span><\/p>\n

But, I could go for a burger and I ordered my usual.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c#1 combo, medium, lettuce only, no cheese.\u201d \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The person making the burger recognized me and set to work – I always get the same thing and always order it the same way.<\/span><\/p>\n

In a few minutes, I had a bag of food and I was on my way.<\/span><\/p>\n

I got to the office, sat down, and opened the bag and the sandwich.<\/span><\/p>\n

Instead of the expected: \u00a0bun | burger | lettuce | bun<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I got: bun | cheese | burger | lettuce | cheese | bun<\/span><\/p>\n

Really? \u00a0Double cheese? \u00a0Double freaking cheese?<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s it. \u00a0I can no longer stand this effrontery. \u00a0They are dead to me. DEAD. TO. ME.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, lunch was fries and a diet coke. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And a sullen silence.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

With the increased yard work, I\u2019ve also been making more trips to Lowe\u2019s. \u00a0And since the former owners of my house loved vines, I needed to buy some yard waste bags for the dreaded spring clean-up. I headed to my local Lowe\u2019s and tracked down the bags. \u00a0They were in packs of 5 each and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_bluesky_dont_syndicate":"","_bluesky_syndication_accounts":"","_bluesky_syndication_text":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2377","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2377","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2377"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2377\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2378,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2377\/revisions\/2378"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2377"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2377"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2377"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}