{"id":2289,"date":"2017-10-29T22:05:01","date_gmt":"2017-10-29T22:05:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/?p=2289"},"modified":"2017-10-29T22:05:01","modified_gmt":"2017-10-29T22:05:01","slug":"and-so-we-print","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/2017\/10\/29\/and-so-we-print\/","title":{"rendered":"and so we print"},"content":{"rendered":"

(Powering up the printer\u2026)<\/span><\/p>\n

Printer: \u201cOh, hey, what\u2019s going on? \u00a0What day is it? \u00a0Wow, I\u2019ve been out for a while, huh?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cI need you to print out this sample ballot so I can mark it up and take it with me to the polls,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Printer: \u201cOh hell, yeah! \u00a0I love to print sample ballots! Woo-hoo! Except, ummm, you still haven\u2019t replaced that black ink cartridge, bro,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cI have one here,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Printer: \u201cOh, thank HP – that was going to be really awkward. LOL. \u00a0I mean, I could mix the colors of ink together to approximate black ink, but you didn\u2019t really like that idea last time. \u00a0\u00a0Go ahead and open me up, I\u2019m ready for that fresh ink!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cOkay, the lid is open. Go ahead and move the ink cartridges where I can reach them,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Printer: \u201cummm\u2026 did that do it?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cNo, not yet,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Printer: \u201cHow about now?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cNo,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Printer: \u201cOkay, that should do it. \u00a0Bring on that sweet, sweet ink,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cOkay, the cartridge is in place. \u00a0I\u2019m closing the lid,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Printer: \u201cI can\u2019t wait. \u00a0This is going to be AWE-SOME,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cOkay, let\u2019s print out\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Printer: \u201cWait, wait, wait. \u00a0I need to charge the ink,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cWhat does that do?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Printer: \u201cShhhh\u2026 I need to concentrate,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Time passes.<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cAre you done?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Printer: \u201cNo, jeez, give me a minute.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cHow about now?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Printer: \u201cNO!\u00a0 What is your problem?\u00a0 I\u2019m still charging the\u2026 okay, I\u2019m done. \u00a0You can print. \u00a0Let\u2019s do this shit,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I hit the print button.<\/span><\/p>\n

Printer: \u201cOh yeah! \u00a0We\u2019re printing! \u00a0We\u2019re PRINTING! \u00a0YES, YES!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Printer: \u201cOkay, I\u2019m done. \u00a0That was awesome – some of my best work,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cReally? \u00a0\u2018Cause every inch down the page is a line where only the top third of the text is readable,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Printer: \u201cWow, what? \u00a0That\u2019s crazy. \u00a0I mean, there\u2019s nothing wrong on my end. \u00a0Are you sure you did it right?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cI just hit the print button on a PDF. \u00a0What else should I have done?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Printer: \u201cWow, okay, nice attitude. \u00a0I guess I could print it again and see if I can sort out your problem. \u00a0Or we could do a test page – I\u2019ve got the ink for that\u2026\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cNo. No, this is fine. \u00a0Well, not \u2018fine\u2019, but it will do, I guess,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Printer: \u201cYou\u2019re the boss. \u00a0Wait, what are you doing? \u00a0Why are\u2026 NO, NOT THE POWER BUTTON! \u00a0NOOOOooooo\u2026.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I’m never really going to win, am I?<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(Powering up the printer\u2026) Printer: \u201cOh, hey, what\u2019s going on? \u00a0What day is it? \u00a0Wow, I\u2019ve been out for a while, huh?\u201d Me: \u201cI need you to print out this sample ballot so I can mark it up and take it with me to the polls,\u201d Printer: \u201cOh hell, yeah! \u00a0I love to print sample […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_bluesky_dont_syndicate":"","_bluesky_syndication_accounts":"","_bluesky_syndication_text":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2289","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2289","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2289"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2289\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2290,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2289\/revisions\/2290"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2289"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2289"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2289"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}