{"id":2275,"date":"2017-10-03T01:13:10","date_gmt":"2017-10-03T01:13:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/?p=2275"},"modified":"2017-10-03T01:13:10","modified_gmt":"2017-10-03T01:13:10","slug":"balancing-gloom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/2017\/10\/03\/balancing-gloom\/","title":{"rendered":"balancing gloom"},"content":{"rendered":"

When I\u2019m around other people with strong emotions, I find myself heading towards an opposite extreme to try and balance things out. Around the loud and manic, I\u2019m quiet and calm. \u00a0Around the depressed, I try to find a little joy. \u00a0Angry, I\u2019m kind. \u00a0Sickly sweet -> angry. \u00a0Laggards get impatience.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m usually well into it before I realize what I\u2019m doing, but I sometimes do this intentionally. \u00a0I try to be respectful – no jokes at a funeral or \u201cdebbie downer\u201d at a celebration – but finding that balance is pretty important to me.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, I was sorely tested at dinner tonight with Louise. \u00a0The \u201cYounger\u201d of the Ladies from New York Who Have Returned to New York But are Not Happy There, Louise is in town to sort out some things that didn\u2019t get settled before she left and try and make some plans to perhaps move back to Ohio.<\/span><\/p>\n

She\u2019s miserable.<\/span><\/p>\n

Never really a bundle of delight or a barrel of laughs, she was down – even for her. \u00a0Part of her family wants her to stay in New York and part want her to move back to Ohio. Her Mom doesn\u2019t want to move, but the lack of a car and the small apartment – along with the noise, crowds, traffic, and crime – have got Louise feeling trapped.<\/span><\/p>\n

She\u2019s started smoking again – and got bronchitis that she delayed getting treated. \u00a0She\u2019s lost weight, gotten more gray, and is less sturdy than she was.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now, don\u2019t get me wrong – I still wouldn\u2019t cross her. \u00a0I would be amazed if she wasn\u2019t \u201criding dirty\u201d \u00a0tonight as we went out to eat.<\/span><\/p>\n

But, she\u2019s conflicted and stressed.<\/span><\/p>\n

I provided a sympathetic ear and tried to point out the occasional positive. \u00a0Struggling with that, I shared a couple of fun stories of my own family and tried to lighten things a bit – though I was only a little successful.<\/span><\/p>\n

We did have a few laughs. \u00a0I asked her where she wanted to eat and she vetoed one of my suggestions in favor of another – but I got distracted and drove to the vetoed eatery anyway. \u00a0I was even proud of myself for the good parking space before she asked, \u201cwhy are we here?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I provided a little tech support for her phone and shared a positive story about her daughter-in-law – of whom she is not a fan – that might have lit a spark of acceptance and understanding.<\/span><\/p>\n

Well, I can dream.<\/span><\/p>\n

At one point she asked if I would call her every so often if she moved back on her own – just to check on her. \u00a0I guess someone in her family had planted the seed that if she lived on her own she might pass away and it would be days before anyone found her. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0That of course reminded me of Jeff and my heart broke a little even as I said I would. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I drove her back to her son\u2019s apartment where she\u2019s staying and wished her a good evening and a good day tomorrow with her family.<\/span><\/p>\n

And then I headed home to hang out with my cat and worry about her. \u00a0I hope I eased her burdens a bit tonight and for all the struggles of being her friend, I\u2019m glad for it.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I\u2019m around other people with strong emotions, I find myself heading towards an opposite extreme to try and balance things out. Around the loud and manic, I\u2019m quiet and calm. \u00a0Around the depressed, I try to find a little joy. \u00a0Angry, I\u2019m kind. \u00a0Sickly sweet -> angry. \u00a0Laggards get impatience. I\u2019m usually well into […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_bluesky_dont_syndicate":"","_bluesky_syndication_accounts":"","_bluesky_syndication_text":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2275","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2275","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2275"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2275\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2276,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2275\/revisions\/2276"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2275"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2275"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2275"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}