{"id":2265,"date":"2017-09-11T21:29:04","date_gmt":"2017-09-11T21:29:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/?p=2265"},"modified":"2017-09-11T21:29:04","modified_gmt":"2017-09-11T21:29:04","slug":"a-conversation-with-my-printer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/2017\/09\/11\/a-conversation-with-my-printer\/","title":{"rendered":"A conversation with my printer"},"content":{"rendered":"

Me: \u201cHey, printer. \u00a0I\u2019ve got a 2 page text document – can you give me a black and white hard copy?<\/span><\/p>\n

XP 430: \u201cSure thing, boss! I\u2019ll get right on it!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Minutes pass.<\/span><\/p>\n

XP 430: \u201cWait, what was I doing? \u00a0LOL! \u00a0Right, you wanted a hard copy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

More time passes.<\/span><\/p>\n

XP 430: \u201cErrrrmmmmm\u2026 errr\u2026 okay, here you go! \u00a0Yea, I\u2019m done!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cThese pages are completely blank. \u00a0Please try again.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

XP 430: \u201cYou got it! \u00a0Here you go – here\u2019s your printout, hot off the presses! \u00a0LOL!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cThese pages are also blank. Can you print a test page, please?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

XP 430: \u201cTotally! \u00a0I love printing test pages. \u00a0Just give me a minute\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Time passes.<\/span><\/p>\n

XP 430: \u201cHere you go! \u00a0Here\u2019s that test page you wanted. \u00a0Hope you like it! \u00a0I did it in color so you can see how awesome it is in color!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cWell, looks like you understand how to print a blue logo, but the rest of the page is still blank. \u00a0Can I see your ink status?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

XP 430: \u201cAbsolutely! \u00a0I\u2019d love to show you that\u2026 ummm\u2026 do you know where that button is? \u00a0I just had it here\u2026 \u00a0LOL\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cSigh\u201d, then several minutes of looking through menus. \u00a0\u201cHmmm\u2026 it says you have plenty of black ink and the colors are almost full. \u00a0So, why won\u2019t you print in black?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

XP 430: \u201cGosh, I don\u2019t know.”<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cOkay, we\u2019re going to pull the cartridge and give it a shake.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

XP 430: \u201cYou mean\u2026 you\u2019re going to open me up and put your fingers inside me?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cDon\u2019t make this weird. \u00a0Just move the cartridges over so I can reach them,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

XP 430: \u201cOkay, okay. \u00a0Geez. \u00a0Can you reach them now?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cNo.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

XP 430: \u201cOkay\u2026 ummm\u2026 how about now?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cStill no. \u00a0Just open the damn pod bay doors, HAL\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

XP 430: \u201cOkay, here you go. \u00a0HA! \u00a0Gotta be quicker than that!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cSigh.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

XP 430: \u201cI\u2019m just messing with you – you know I love you. \u00a0Here\u2019s the cartridges – you give that one a good shake for me,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

I extract the black ink cartridge and shake it, then reinsert.<\/span><\/p>\n

XP 430: \u201cThanks, bro! \u00a0I\u2019m going to need 20-30 minutes to make sure you didn\u2019t screw that up. \u00a0You know how you are. \u00a0\ud83d\ude42 \u00a0\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Time passes.<\/span><\/p>\n

XP 430: \u201cOkay, you didn\u2019t screw that up. \u00a0Good job! \u00a0Try printing now – I\u2019m sure we\u2019ll be fine,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

XP 430: \u201cWHOA! \u00a0Hold on there, partner. \u00a0You don\u2019t have nearly enough ink to print that. Are you high?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cWhat are you talking about? Your status showed we had plenty before. \u00a0Show me the ink status again,\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

XP 430: \u201cFine. \u00a0Look, you have almost no black ink.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cWhat happened to all the ink that was there before? \u00a0I didn\u2019t shake it out.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

XP 430: \u201cLook nobody\u2019s blaming you. \u00a0You don\u2019t need to be so defensive.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cI\u2019m NOT being defensive. \u00a0Just print the damn document!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

XP 430: \u201cTake it easy, buddy. \u00a0We\u2019re all on the same side here. \u00a0I want to print this as much as you do. \u00a0Listen, why don\u2019t I use the colored inks and mix them together to make a composite black?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cWon\u2019t that just use up the colored inks faster? \u00a0And isn\u2019t it more expensive to replace all three of those than just one black ink cartridge?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

XP 430: \u201cYeah, I guess. \u00a0But, it depends on how bad do you want this printed right now. \u00a0I mean, I can give you two more blank pages, if you want. \u00a0Or I can do the composite. \u00a0It\u2019s all in your hands, buddy. \u00a0You have all the power.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cFine. \u00a0Just…whatever. \u00a0Fine. \u00a0Print using the composite black.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

XP 430: \u201cYou made the right decision. \u00a0I\u2019m so proud of you. \u00a0Here\u2019s your document.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Me: \u201cThanks.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

XP 430: \u00a0\u201cNo problem. Glad to help. \u00a0Hey, while we\u2019re here – do you want to order more ink online right from the printer company? \u00a0I can get you a great deal and those colored inks aren\u2019t going to last forever\u2026 hey, what you are doing? \u00a0Don\u2019t turn me off yet, I\u2019ve got more to tell you! Hey, WAAAAAAAAIT!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Power button for 3 seconds. I got my document, but it still feels like I lost.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Me: \u201cHey, printer. \u00a0I\u2019ve got a 2 page text document – can you give me a black and white hard copy? XP 430: \u201cSure thing, boss! I\u2019ll get right on it!\u201d Minutes pass. XP 430: \u201cWait, what was I doing? \u00a0LOL! \u00a0Right, you wanted a hard copy.\u201d More time passes. XP 430: \u201cErrrrmmmmm\u2026 errr\u2026 okay, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_bluesky_dont_syndicate":"","_bluesky_syndication_accounts":"","_bluesky_syndication_text":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2265","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2265","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2265"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2265\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2266,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2265\/revisions\/2266"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2265"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2265"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2265"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}