{"id":2011,"date":"2016-04-29T01:43:38","date_gmt":"2016-04-29T01:43:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/?p=2011"},"modified":"2016-04-29T01:43:38","modified_gmt":"2016-04-29T01:43:38","slug":"no-seriously-how-can-i-help-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/2016\/04\/29\/no-seriously-how-can-i-help-you\/","title":{"rendered":"no, seriously, how can I help you?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I got into work this morning to an email that one of the operators had called off. Hmm&#8230; okay, well, we can get through this. I checked my voice-mail and found that another had also called off.<\/p>\n<p>So, we had one on the schedule for 2 hours in the morning and 1.5 hours in the afternoon. My co-worker who is usually my back-up was also off today.<\/p>\n<p>I also had a meeting at 11, an off campus appointment for lunch, and a sore throat.<\/p>\n<p>At 10:30 I had a hot pocket and a pop-tart and settled in to save the. FREAKING. DAY.<\/p>\n<p>My 11:00 appointment was for a training session on our survey software. My colleague was patient with me and instead of being annoyed by the frequent\/constant pauses to answer the switchboard, she was intrigued at the whole process.<\/p>\n<p>Thank you, Susan, for being understanding.<\/p>\n<p>We got through that and she headed out &#8211; and shortly there-after the headset I was using started to do the &#8220;the battery is dying&#8221; beep. Right around the time the program crashed. I switched stations and kept on going.<\/p>\n<p>Call after call after call. It was a pretty steady stream all day. Lunchtime came and went. \u00a0Around 2:30 I finally decided to just let the damn phone ring and go to the bathroom. It was either that or I was going to literally wet my pants. I dropped the headset on the desk, ran down the hall to visit the urinal, then ran back to the switchboard &#8211; with a brief detour to get some hand-sanitizer.<\/p>\n<p>Hey, I&#8217;m not a barbarian.<\/p>\n<p>The operator on the schedule came in at 3:15 to take over and I went home to get &#8220;lunch&#8221;.<\/p>\n<p>Trying to answer all those calls &#8211; and still keep up with my emails and regular work &#8211; really took it out of me. The cold didn&#8217;t help, but the sore throat did make my voice sound pretty amazing. It was heading towards Barry White at one point.<\/p>\n<p>And it wouldn&#8217;t be a day on the switchboard without some weird calls. The worst was a woman who was calling in for her daughter. Her side of the conversation amounted to:<\/p>\n<p>1. Her daughter sent an email to someone at UA.<br \/>\n2. Someone at a computer near the recipient took a photo of the screen with their phone.<br \/>\n3. That person then texted the daughter the picture and said that it was good that the email didn&#8217;t come to them because they would have done&#8230; something with it.<br \/>\n4. The daughter then reported this to HR for some reason.<br \/>\n5. A guy named Mike may have been involved. In some department. Maybe.<\/p>\n<p>The woman wanted to know why no one at UA had gotten back to her daughter and what I was going to do about it.<\/p>\n<p>The expression on my face &#8211; and the words that I mouthed &#8211; are primary reasons why I do not belong on Skype or Facetime.<\/p>\n<p>What. The. %#@$<\/p>\n<p>I mean, really? What in the multi-verse was this woman thinking? Based on that information &#8211; and she couldn&#8217;t come up with any more details than that &#8211; how was I going to provide any guidance for her at all?<\/p>\n<p>For just the smallest moments, I was speechless. I literally could not come up with anything at all to say. And that&#8217;s rare.<\/p>\n<p>And, yes, I&#8217;ve used the word &#8220;literally&#8221; twice in this post and I absolutely mean both of them.<\/p>\n<p>I recovered, made some educated guesses and said some polite things, and then transferred her along with a hope and prayer.<\/p>\n<p>Susan was impressed.<\/p>\n<p>I took another moment to get that bit of crazy out of my system, then answered the next call with a soothing voice and a helpful attitude.<\/p>\n<p>I was faking the attitude, but the caller didn&#8217;t hear it.<\/p>\n<p>I actually took a sort of a nap when I got home, then got some dinner with Jim, and then home for another nap. And in a few minutes from now, shower and bed.<\/p>\n<p>Yep &#8211; living the dream.<\/p>\n<p>Or a simulation.<\/p>\n<p>Wait&#8230; \u00a0That would actually explain a lot.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I got into work this morning to an email that one of the operators had called off. Hmm&#8230; okay, well, we can get through this. I checked my voice-mail and found that another had also called off. So, we had one on the schedule for 2 hours in the morning and 1.5 hours in the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_bluesky_dont_syndicate":"","_bluesky_syndication_accounts":"","_bluesky_syndication_text":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2011","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2011","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2011"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2011\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2012,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2011\/revisions\/2012"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2011"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2011"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2011"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}