{"id":1630,"date":"2014-06-26T01:04:19","date_gmt":"2014-06-26T01:04:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/?p=1630"},"modified":"2014-06-26T01:04:19","modified_gmt":"2014-06-26T01:04:19","slug":"knives-stones-and-iron-bars-the-story-of-a-mattress","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/2014\/06\/26\/knives-stones-and-iron-bars-the-story-of-a-mattress\/","title":{"rendered":"knives, stones, and iron bars: The story of a mattress"},"content":{"rendered":"
I almost never make my bed. \u00a0Partly because I’m usually running late in the morning. Partly because I just really can’t be bothered. \u00a0But mostly because – at the end of the day – I want to be able to get into bed and find where I left off. \u00a0If I was asleep, then I was likely comfortable. \u00a0If I don’t mess up the bed by making it, I can more easily find a comfortable position and go right to sleep.<\/div>\n
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And that usually works really well – except that my mattress suddenly gave out on me. \u00a0In the span of just a few days I went from falling asleep quickly and easily to dreading getting into bed. \u00a0I would wake up after a poor night of sleep and I’d be aching and sore all over. \u00a0My lower back felt like I’d been sleeping on a rock and my hips felt like I had been stabbed.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Instead of a pea, the bed appeared to be stuffed with knives and stones. \u00a0And this princess… errr… prince, wasn’t getting much sleep.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
So, last Friday I went to Sears to buy a mattress. \u00a0But they were waaaay over-priced. And the clerk was sullen and kinda grumpy – though I guess I would be too if nobody even bought anything. \u00a0 I gave up quickly and headed across the street to a mattress warehouse. \u00a0I had one of my friends with me and they figured it would take me 10 minutes to pick out a mattress.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
It took me 12 minutes, but only because the showroom was big and I went back and forth a few times.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
(I make decisions quickly)<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
As I was paying for the mattress and arranging delivery, the clerk asked how I heard about them. \u00a0I told them I went to sears first and thought they were overpriced, then went across the street. \u00a0“So, proximity” was my answer. \u00a0He laughed and implied that it was on purpose.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I got the call on Saturday that the mattress would be delivered on Sunday between 11:30 and 1:30. \u00a0 \u00a0I spent part of Sunday morning clearing a couple of paths to my bed room – one through the front door if the delivery folks didn’t believe me that it wouldn’t work and the second up onto the kitchen roof and through the second floor door to the bathroom.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
(the stairwell is way too narrow for a boxspring or a mattress, but I figured they would be overconfident about taking it up the stairs.)<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
The delivery guys showed up at 12:00, got the box spring up into the bathroom, and then wanted to take the mattress up the stairs – until they actually saw the stairs.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
With the bed delivered and set up, I went on about my day. \u00a0That night, I made the bed up and settled in for what I hoped would be a good night’s sleep.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Except there was something wrong with the pillows. \u00a0Or the firmness of the mattress was messing up the pillow dynamics. \u00a0I woke up in the morning with a pain in my upper back and my neck – like I’d been sleeping on an iron bar.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Really?<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I’d consider getting a massage, but I always get a headache from those. \u00a0I also get a headache when I nap.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I think this goes along with a long-standing theory:<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
I’m not meant to relax.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Or I’m getting old and the fault-tolerances are shrinking.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I almost never make my bed. \u00a0Partly because I’m usually running late in the morning. Partly because I just really can’t be bothered. \u00a0But mostly because – at the end of the day – I want to be able to get into bed and find where I left off. \u00a0If I was asleep, then I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_bluesky_dont_syndicate":"","_bluesky_syndication_accounts":"","_bluesky_syndication_text":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1630","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1630","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1630"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1630\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1632,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1630\/revisions\/1632"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1630"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1630"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thunderofwade.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1630"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}