My afternoon sucked. \u00a0Worked my brain off to get a project done and I was the only one left in the office so I couldn’t even vent about how annoyed I was that it came down to the wire like it did. \u00a0 Ugh. \u00a0It was literally a two keystroke problem from years ago that got me to that point and my head will figuratively explode if I don’t let it go. \u00a0 \u00a0So, here’s me letting it go \u00a0– and on to a much better story.<\/p>\n
I get home a little later than usual and I’ve skipped my swim. \u00a0So, I’m cranky and annoyed – even more so because I have to switch over my internet provider. \u00a0The university used to have a deal for discounted internet service with TWC – via payroll deduction. \u00a0Which was very handy and convenient. \u00a0And of course had to be stopped. \u00a0 If I don’t get it switched over by the end of the month, I don’t get “the deal” of $29.99 per month for a year. \u00a0And by “switched over”, it’s just a billing thing. \u00a0I already have service with TWC, I just need to get billed once a month instead of payroll deduction.<\/p>\n
Never one to let “insult to injury” pass me by – even if it’s directed at myself – I call TWC and mentally gird my loins. \u00a0Which I think means put on my big boy pants.<\/p>\n
Now, I’ve got a set of instructions in front of me on how to get to a local sales rep \u00a0– which is important because only the local folks know about the deal. \u00a0I’m sorry – “the deal”.<\/p>\n
I get past the voice prompts and the “hold\u00a0commercials” that they were playing and finally talk to a dude. \u00a0I’m going to call him Skippy – partly because I didn’t write down his name and partly so I’m not tempted to try and track him down and egg his house. \u00a0(Oh, yeah, I could do it – don’t push me.)<\/p>\n
So, Skippy is a local guy and knows what I’m talking about when I mention OBEN (Ohio Broadband Educational [yeah, right] Network). \u00a0Yea!<\/p>\n
And here’s where it starts to get ugly. \u00a0I mean, it’s a slam dunk for him – there’s no sales pitch needed. If I’m calling about switching over, I’ve already made a commitment to get\/continue the service. \u00a0And, apparently, the shaft.<\/p>\n
He tries to get me to sign up for cable TV and is so astonished that I don’t want it that I have to repeat myself. \u00a0 He also wants me to sign up for internet phone. \u00a0I tell him “that my cell phone is\u00a0sufficient”\u00a0. \u00a0 To which Skippy’s\u00a0response\u00a0is to offer to transfer me over to Verizon when we’re done to sign up for cell phone service. \u00a0Apparently, “sufficient”\u00a0did not make his vocab-list and I have to explain to him that I’m actually calling him from a Verizon cell phone.<\/p>\n
And now we’re both getting snippy. \u00a0He asks me how many computers I have in the house – I tell him a computer and an iPad. \u00a0He asks what I do on the internet; video games, downloading movies, etc.. \u00a0I know where this is going – he’s going to try and push for “beyond the standard” package. \u00a0I explain that I use it for surfing the web and skip the fact that my PS3 is online. \u00a0 \u00a0He then asks me to verify my information and wants my social security number.<\/p>\n
Really? \u00a0 Really.<\/p>\n
Finally, he’s rolling on to his closing script and wanting my credit card number to charge me for the first month’s service. And the number is way too high. \u00a0I interrupt him several times before \u00a0he finally stops talking and I explain that this is an OBEN switch and that the deal is for $29.99 a month. \u00a0He tells me that he knows that. \u00a0I ask what the extra charge is for and he asks ‘what extra charge?” \u00a0It takes a couple of tries before I can convince him to do math and discover that the number he wants to charge me is not the same as $29.99 and it is, in fact, higher. \u00a0 “Oh, he says,”That’s for the wireless setup”.<\/p>\n
“What wireless set up? \u00a0I already have a wireless router,”<\/p>\n
“Well,” \u00a0he huffs, “you said you had an iPad,”<\/p>\n
“Yes, and it works with my wireless router,”<\/p>\n
He goes away and comes back with a new number – also not correct and still higher than it should be.<\/p>\n
I ask why it is still not the $29.99. \u00a0He patiently explains to me as though I am an idiot that this is \u00a0– of course – the modem rental fee.<\/p>\n
I explain that I already have a modem and he gets all defensive. \u00a0“This is the first he has heard about this,” he insists and goes away again. \u00a0He comes back and now needs the serial number, the model number, and the MAC address of the modem – which was not in my notes. \u00a0So, I unplug the modem and carefully read him a great honking pile of numbers, which seems to satisfy him for the moment.<\/p>\n
Now, it’s time for him to schedule an appointment for the installation and he’s got me down for 8:00am on Freaking SATURDAY morning. \u00a0I force my way into his script again to\u00a0interrupt\u00a0him and finally get him stopped. \u00a0“Why do I need an installation?” I ask, with desperation in my voice, “It is already working,”<\/p>\n
“Well,” he counters, “We have to have a technician make sure,”<\/p>\n
For just a moment, just a moment, \u00a0I consider running through the facts with him in a summary.<\/p>\n
OBEN is simply a billing option through TWC. \u00a0I’ve already had the service for nearly a year with no problems. \u00a0I use my own router, my own modem, and it already works – and is in fact working while I was talking to him. \u00a0(I could literally see the data pumping through my re-plugged in modem). \u00a0 He already has all my information because I’m already a customer. There’s no installation needed because it was already done by TWC.<\/p>\n
And then I just gave up. \u00a0Accepted the appointment. Thanked him for his help. \u00a0Hung up the phone. \u00a0And wept. \u00a0I was beaten, bloodied, and bruised. \u00a0The stupid won today. \u00a0 \u00a0Not that I’m saying that Skippy was stupid – though I am implying that. \u00a0No, the Stupid in this case refers to an inflexible process.<\/p>\n
So, early on Saturday morning I need to be awake and ready to somehow explain to the technician that everything is still working that he doesn’t even need to get out his ladder. \u00a0 I’m guessing that sometime between now and then, my service will be shut off for no damn reason. \u00a0That would be almost deliciously ironic. \u00a0And all I’ll be able to say to that is, ‘Well played, Skippy, well played,”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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