Category: Uncategorized Page 131 of 157

A few odd things I’ve noticed recently:

1. My right turn signal is now 3 times as fast as my left turn signal. No idea why.

2. My forehead is clammy. All the time – but only my forehead.

3. Chewie at the beach

He needs nair and sunblock – in that order.

later…

Update:

4. Northeast Ohio weather. It looked like it was going to rain all freaking day – and then suddenly we’ve got sunshine and light puffy clouds.

5. The song: “Ridin” by Chamillionaire. He uses the phrase: “Tryin to catch me ridin dirty” 50 times in his song. Does it refer to the gun in his car, the fact that it’s a stolen car, or that it needs to be washed? I just don’t know.

Last evening I was struck with an insanity so deep and profound as to leave an endless stain upon my very soul. I felt it coming, felt it slide about me – seeking an entrance into my vulnerable psyche. The haze of doom and bleek despair obscured my gaze and I was tricked into traveling a road I knew would only destroy me. And so, and so I did the only thing I could – I embraced the maddness and followed the siren song of horror and terror to my destination and my terrible fate.

I went to McDonald’s for dinner.

Oh, I knew that the meaty fate could not continue to be cheated forever as it had been so recently. Reasonably good service, enjoyable food presented in a tidy fashion – such things are possible only with the proper alignment of the stars and planets. Some small sliver of hope – perhaps fostered by a successful visit to the post office to mail a package earlier in the day – lead me to believe that today would continue the – dare I say it? Yes, I shall – trend of quality food at the golden arches.

Sadly, it was not meant to be.

Though the restuarnt was not busy in any way, it took several minutes before the counter staff would acknowledge that I even exisited. While I waited, they engaged in a serious discussion of the new shorts that the guy had purchased and how the color scheme matched Michael Jordon’s school colors. The shorts were refered to as “crispy” – and though I am fairly well versed in popular slang for a 30+ year old white guy, I was at something of a loss. The conversation moved on to how tall a person should be before they make that critial move from low top to high top shoes.

This discussion concluded, the girl called the guy by name and directed him to the counter to wait on me – clearly demarking the pecking order of the resturant.

While they had debated the fate of the universe – I had been intently studying the menu. Though I thought I had decryped the needlessly complicated menu system – I could not seem to locate the Spicy Chicken sandwich. Undaunted, I attempted to order that anyway. The guy at the register regarded me with a look I’m sure he reserved for the stupid people of the universe – then told me that they don’t have that anymore.

“oh,” I thought “you’ll bring back the freaking McRib every two years but you can’t keep something that actually tastes good on the menu?”

Aloud, I hemmed and hawwed for a moment – then decided on my standard. Two hamburgers, lettuce only and a large fry. I would have gotten a small fry, but I’m familier with their hamburger patties and knew better than to assumed that even two of them would be enough to sate me.

Getting hamburger plain + lettuce involves a lot of button pressing, but eventually he finished and took my money, then handed me change and a receipt.

Now, I may have mentioned that business was slow that night, so I was able to watch as the sandwiches were made and know they were mine since they were the only ones being fixed. From my location at the counter I could see the …. I was going to call him a cook, but he did no actual cooking. Let’s just call him the Sandwich Prep Dude or SPD for short. The SPD carefully and intently focused on the task at hand with the concentration of a blind whale perfoming brain surgery on a hamster while using chopsticks. And, get this sports fans, it was under the watchful eye and assistance of his supervisor. I suspect it may have been the first sandwich he had ever made in his entire life. Perhaps, due to the strangeness of time itself in my presence, it made have been the first sandwich ever made in the history of the universe.

Once his task was completed, he launched each sandwich into a chute with enough force that, if there had not been a solid metal barrier there, they would have flown across the resturant, through a window, and from there possibly into earth orbit.

My two friends at the counter then engaged in a brief scuffle to determine who would have the honor of presenting the sandwiches to me along with the fries. The guy with the new shorts won, and he carefully folded down the top of the bag while at the same time totally ignoring once again that I existed. He placed the bag in my general vicinity without a word and wandered away – perhaps feeling the shame of handing me a bag containing what we could only hope contained food, but knowing all the while it was terrible lie.

As I exited the … I was almost going to call it a resturant, ha! As I exited the chamber of horrors, the frier alarm went off to cap off my visit. I checked the bag to verify that my order contained 2 sandwiches and some fries and made my way home to eat.

The fries were okay – a little too salty, but still a food item and not a salt lick for woodland creatures. The first burger was bland and tasteless even by my standards and the second…

The second burger, the second burger. Halfway through this pseudo-meat unit I bit into an onion. Apparently, the SPD did need every bit of concentration and supervision that could be thrust upon him – he hadn’t cleared his work surface and had mixed an onion into the lettuce.

The shock, surprise, and foul taste made me retch – I could not finish even that bite. The untainted fries went into my gullet – the rest of the burger went into the trash.

Though my hunger was mostly sated, I felt hollow inside. As with Casey and the Bat, there was no joy in mudville that day. All I wanted was a spicy chicken sandwich to burn my lips and fill my belly. Instead, I had my heart and hopes shattered upon the cold tiles of the floor of the golden arches.

I should have just fixed some ramen.

back to work…

I got measured yesterday for my tux for my sister’s wedding. I wasn’t in the system properly since they forgot the “r” in my last name, but they eventually tracked the info down and got started. Things went pretty smoothly until they were ringing up the order and I asked if any of the cuff-links shot darts. The salesgirl was a little puzzled. I explained, “like in James Bond” – she dribbled out a nervous laugh and said, “oh no, we’d get in trouble”.

Ummm…that was humor. I’m almost sure of it.

So, I concluded the transaction and got the heck out of there.

In other news…I think I left a window open at home when I left for work. And the thunder in my headsets from the Weather Channel icon on my desktop means that I’m most likely to have a damp apartment when I get home.

Back to work…

With a little help from my boss and the use of his station wagon, I got the cube into work. We went at lunch time and when I brought the cube out of my apartment, his reaction was “whoa!” It just barely fit in the back of the wagon, in fact, we has to “force” it a litle to make it fit. The unloading went easier, though it was a little tricky to get it in the building. I put it on top of my cubicle and got back to work – that is, until the crowds started to gather. I mean, you can’t really help but notice it and people wanted to talk about it. I printed out some details on the menger sponge and explained about the number of pieces of paper, showed the smaller versions and how they would fit in, and generally enjoyed myself. It was pretty cool to have worked on a project like this for as long as I did and really get to share it with people. A few people suggested I enter it in a design contest – though the one they are talking about is looking for outdoor items – and the paper really wouldn’t hold up.

Last week was also me getting back to work. Mostly putting out fires and such – though I did find that my boss was overwhelmed by having to cover what I usually handle – I think it made him appreciate me even more. I don’t think there’s a big fat raise in my future because of that, but it was still nice to learn.

Yesterday, I took one of my long walks. I decided to go a differnt route and walked along a sidewalk next to a big yard. Then the barking started and two small dogs charged out at me. They were some kind of beagle/ dachuand mix – though I’m sure they thought they were part werewolf as well from the barking they did. While neither were a threat to anything except my shins (and that only with a running jump) they were moving pretty fast, clearly upset, and not tied down at all. The more agressive of the two slammed to a stop a couple feet from the sidewalk, then ran parallel to the sidewalk for a few feet and turned and barked some more. I realised that they were both wearing collarswith oversized objects on them and deduced it was an imvisible fence stopping them. And it worked too – they treated that “line” as a real fence – it was visible in their behavior and their movements as they paced me. Kinda lke a force field they kept bouncing off of. I got clear of them without incident, but had to go past them again on the way back. Personally, I think a sign notifying pedestrians about the fence would have been appropiate, but maybe the owners thought it would be funny to watch.

This afternoon, I’m headed to David’s Bridal to get measured for my tux for my sister’s wedding. I supposed I could tell them I’m getting measured for a bridemaid’s dress, just to see their reaction, but I suspect they’ve heard that one before.

That’s about it for now…later…

I spent a week in Myrtle Beach with some friends for a vacation. The drive down wasn’t too bad since we broke it up with an overnight hotel stay. We finally got down to the condo and ate lunch, unpacked, got groceries and went down to the beach. Not wanting a repeat of last year, I slathered on the sunblock and was careful about too much sun.

And that was the lion-share of the week. Most of the time was spent sitting or walking on the beach or swimming in the ocean or pool. We ate out a few time – I usually had the salmon – and I had some awesome tasting salad. Though on the third trip some lady got dressing on my shirt.

While on the beach I did a lot of reading and I also wrote a comic strip. Since I don’t draw very well, I’m going to use some photos of a couple of action figures. Should be pretty funny, I’ll update the blog and post links as I work on it.

I got a pretty good tan and only some mild sun-burn on my feet and my back. Otherwise, I’m a-okay and ready to get back to life in Ohio. I’ll post more as other stories come back to me.

That’s it for now. later…

Last weekend I visited my family for Father’s day. On Friday we went through my sister’s counseling textbooks and tried to figure out what was wrong with us mentally. It was funnier and more fun than it sounds. Seems like we’re all a little OCD, incidentally – with a dash of autism thrown in for good measure.

On Saturday we ran some errands and participated in a cornhole tournement. Mom and Dad did pretty good, but my sister and I didn’t advance. I could include a link to some sites on the rules and stragety, but I think you can find that yourselves.

I also worked on some origami for my sister’s wedding reception – I made a hot air balloon from paper that I think is going to be the centerpiece. Should be cool.

I also gave blood – though it was a near thing. I got a card in the mail that indicated the date and location of the next drive – which I glanced at and then disregarded.

After work, I headed over to the Northampton church and was a little surprised that the parking lot was empty. Hmmm…. I looked at the card again and realized that instead of the Northampton Methodist church – where I had gone before – it was really the Northampton Baptist church that I needed to go to. Back in the car and on down the road. I wasn’t entirely sure where I was going, but I made it there and gave my pint of blood. Got slightly woozy afterward, but I think that was my fault for not having eaten enough beforehand. Incidentally, the Methodist Church had much nicer facilites than the Baptists – draw whatever conslusions you’d like about that one. 🙂

I spent the rest of the week getting ready for my vacation. More to follow…

Finally got some photos of the big cube – you can check them out by clicking on the small version:

Also, I may have been off on the count – I think the actual number of sheets of paper used is 1056.

Enjoy! I had fun doing this and it’s given me ideas for other projects.

back to work…

Last evening, while I was taking out my trash, I noticed that my neighbor’s car was lit up from the inside. Their dome light was on – and the doors were locked and they weren’t home.

So, I wrote a note on fluorescent green paper and taped it to the back window to their car – letting them know the situation and offering to help jump their car if they got back much later and the battery was all the way dead.

I heard them come home in their other car and I guess everything was okay since they didn’t stop over. It was a little odd that they didn’t say anything to me about it – if they hadn’t noticed the light was on when they got back – they would have had a crappy morning and a dead car.

I did a little cleaning last night – some de-junkification. Added another 500 cranes to my aquarium just by cleaning out my pockets of various jackets and containers. 3500 in there now. I may not be an origami master – but I’m freaking prolific.

Took a break from the cleaning to play a new game – siRen. Ummm…can you say zombies? Except these zombies have good motor control – I nearly crapped my pants when one of these shambling monsters chased my character and then pulled out a gun and shot him. Looks like the game is a lot of sneaking around in the dark – unarmed.

Which isn’t really my thing and I think makes it scarier. If I was confronted with zombies, I’d fight back. I’d get myself a sword or a big stick and go after them. The only good zombie is a dead zombie. Or..ummm… an incapacitated zombie.

I didn’t play long before it got late and I needed to go to bed. I’ll see how it goes – but at the first nightmare this game causes me, it’s going to be sold and replaced with something rated “E” for everyone.

That’s it for now…back to work…

Last evening, at a little before 10 pm, I finished the big project. 27.5 inches cubed, 928 pieces of paper, 1 bottle of elmer’s glue. It’s a triumph of form and math, a solid construct to represent an idea.

And it’s too big to fit in my car.

So, it’s still at home and still unphotographed. I’m hoping to arrange transportation sometime this week, but until then it will just have to wait.

It’s also the second most dangerous project I’ve done. I cut myself twice on the storm window frame that I was using since my coffee table was too small. The most dangerous was the soda can metal crane – I bled a lot on that one.

In other news… I went to McDonald’s last night for the spicy chicken sandwich. As I’m standing at the counter, trying to place my order, the fryer timer goes off. It’s a horrible piercing sound designed to get someone’s attention and cause pain. At the same time, the three little t-ball players standing to the side ratchet it up a notch or 10 and are now shrieking at the top of their lungs. The combination of the two frequencies…well…

I think it may have melted part of my brain.

I’m hoping it isn’t a part I’ll need later, but you never know.

But, my order was delivered promptly and, surprisingly, correctly. So, the ends justified the torment of the ordering process. Also, the counter girl must have realized the expression on my face represented pain at the sounds – she looked sympatheic. Or that may have just been my eyeballs swelling up do to the interested pressure in my head.

That’s it for now… got a busy day ahead. I promise, pictures will be coming soon.

In a marathon folding session, I got all 192 remaining units folded. I also got “chunks” put together in groups of 24 and 8 – and got most of those added to the main model. I’ve still got the “top” to assemble and put in place – and that’s 64 units. With any luck, I’ll have this done by Tuesday. Not sure how soon I’m going to bring it into work to display though, I’ll need to get some good pictures for my website.

Over the weekend I picked up a Tai Chi beginners kit – DVD, Chi ball, and booklet. Haven’t tried it yet as I’ll need to clear some space in my living room. Thinking about doing another reorganization/clean-up of the apartment. I periodically de-junkify my place, but I think it needs another hit.

I haven’t talked too much about my sister’s wedding since:

1. It’s still a ways off.
2. My roll is an usher is pretty small.
3. I can’t think of weddings without also thinking of the Muppets Take Manhattan – where Kermit marries Miss Piggy.

Not sure if my sister would appreciate the connection – or the “Rainbow Connection” as the case may be.

Finally, I think I found a gift for my Dad for Father’s day. He’s just this side of impossible to buy for anymore, but I think I got something clever this time.

Wait, crap. Everytime I try to do something clever, it goes horribly wrong. There has been one exception and we can only hope it wasn’t isolated.

That’s it for now – back to work…