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My neighbors now have a dog. I’m not sure which ones have the dog or what the dog looks like. But I know what it sounds like.

Yip yap yap yip yap yap yap yip yip yip yip yap yip yap

I don’t know where they got this dog – maybe the 5th circle of hell (“The angry”) or maybe the 7th (“Violent against neighbors and fellow men”). In any case, I heard it last night while I was trying to sleep. I had the fan going and the windows open. A good cross breeze was just starting to form and I was headed to dreamland.

Yip yap yap yap yip yip yap yap yip

And then, just for variation…

Yap yip yip yip yap yap yip yip yap

And every so often, a plantitive howl at the moon. But, since it was only a small yapper dog, the howl at the moon was just a pathetic shadow of what a real dog could do.

Yap yap yip yip yap yap yap

After 20 minutes I considered closeing the window.

Yap yip yip yap yap yap

Yip

Another 10 minutes and I got up to get ear plugs.

20 minutes later and the dog finally YAPYAPYAPYAPYAPYIPYIPYIP (howl) YAP

Okay, 30 minutes later the dog finally shut up.

Yip.

That one didn’t count, but I left the earplugs in.

Now, I’m a dog person and I really like dogs. But this little yipper was getting on my nerves. Oh, and did I mention that it echoed between the two buildings so it sounded twice as loud? Well, it did.

Sleep was an elusive misteress last night – hell, let’s just say it like it was. I was so ticked off from the noise that I didn’t think it would ever come. And I tried everything – well, not everything, but enough of my tried and true methods of getting to sleep that I was really stressing. And apparently the stress of not being able to sleep tired me out enough that I eventually fell asleep.

This morning? I’m king of the yawns. Yea. And all I really want to do it go back home and sleep some more. Or maybe I’ll just crawl under my desk.

Well, time to get back to work…

Heard a song on the radio last evening – really liked the lyrics, but the station didn’t identify what the song was. Fortunately, one line of the song stuck in my head and from that I was able to do a search this morning and locate the song:

“Breathe (2 AM)” – ANNA NALICK

The line that stuck in my head was:

“And life’s like an hourglass, glued to the table.”

Struck me as deeply profound – and yet a very simple and clear image. I don’t normally buy CD’s on the basis of one song, but I might break my rule for this one.

On the drive work this morning I went past a church with a sign out front. Normally, this has some kind of pseudo-meaningful phrase on it that is quickly absorbed and ignored. This time it said, “The truth doesn’t hurt, unless it should.”

What in the heck does that mean? Let’s analyze some examples:

1. My shoes are black and green – Or – I’m wearing pants today.

Both of those are true and not painful in the least. In fact, I’m sure a few people around here are relieved at the second one.

2. I could stand to lose a little weight.

Yeah, that’s true too. I think I’d be mildly cranky if someone walked up to me on the street and said that to me, but I wouldn’t be emotionally scarred about it.

3. I’m slowly going bald.

That’s true too, and while I’ll just shave my head when it gets bad – some people would be horribly offended if someone said that to them. It might be true, but pointing out someone’s flaws without trying to help them overcome them is just cruel. A few episodes of the Surreal Life with Da Brat are good examples of using a perceived truth to gain attention and just be cruel.

Did no one listen to Elvis? Hello? “Don’t be cruel”

I still don’t understand what they were trying to say in that sign.

Anyway, time to get back to work…

So, yesterday, I head to the vending machine to be a late afternoon soda. I’m in need of a caffinee fix and the hot water for tea or hot chocolate has been shut down in the lunch room. I put my change in the machine and hit the button for “Pepsi”. I’d much prefer Coca-Cola, but they don’t stock that on campus. Instead of a satisfying “thunk”, I see a little message on the screen- Selection Unavailable. It’s then that I notice the little orange light. So, I hit the Lipton Iced Tea button and get the same message before noticing the light is on for that one too. The machine is nearly dripping with Pepsi logos – but it’s only got one area for actual Pepsi dispensing. I could choose from a variety of Mountain Dew products instead, but I hoped to sleep at some point that night and didn’t need that much caffinee. So, I get my money out of the machine and go to the juice machine next to it – figuring that if I can have caffinee, I should at least have something good for me. I choose the Peach Papya – which was luckily in stock – and headed back to my desk. It tasted funny and I checked the date – best if used by April of this year. So, I poured that out and had water. Not sure who I’m angy at – maybe the poor sap who fills the machines.

Then, driving home from work on the highway I get stuck behind a slow moving parade. I’m trapped there for several miles while we poke along at 20 mph and everyone else flies past at 65. Things finally clear out when the guilty party takes an exit. He’s got his hazzards on and is creeping up the ramp. I don’t know if he was having car problems or he’s just a really timid driver, but he nearly caused some accidents by driving so slowly on a highway.

Today, I went over to an office to do some training for a staff member. I went up to the front desk and since no one was there, I rang the little bell. I don’t like to do that since I don’t really care for the noise in that situtation, but I had no other choice. After a few moments, a woman walked….no, she didn’t walk, she slowly lurched around the corner. She had on a sweater over her shoulders and sandels on her feet and if I hadn’t seen her breathing I would have thought she was undead by lack of expression her face. And you know how I feel about zombies.
I smiled, said good morning, and asked for the person I was there to train. She didn’t speak, she just walked out of my view toward the security door and opened it for me. She asked if I knew where his office was and I told her no – so she lead me down into the depths (read: bowels) of the building’s basement. My trainee wasn’t there yet, so she introduced me to the other occupant of the basement and since he was cheerful I was a little more at ease. My guide headed back up the stairs. So, I waited a bit and plotted my escape routes in case she came back down for a “snack”.

There’s no real connection between any of these stories, so don’t waste a lot of time trying to figure them out. It’s just me being annoyed and we should all be used to that by now.

Time to get back to work…

Two extreme views of customer service today. First – a trip to the bank. I use National City usually get good customer service when I stop by the local branch. Today, I headed over there at about 10 til noon – and I expected a bit of a crowd. Instead, they had 3 tellers on hand and one was open as I walked in. I went right up to the counter and was greeted with a smile. The transaction was swift and efficient and friendly. I was on my way in a matter of moments.

Then I went to McDonald’s for lunch. Not having gone to McU, I can only guess at the staffing procedures, but over the years I have decided that if you go at a peak time, you’ll have to fight a crowd, but you’ll get better service. If you go at an off peak time, no crowds, but less efficient service since they have inexperienced people on at those times.

Today, however, blew that theory totally out of the water. I got there at 5 minutes to noon and they had two registers open. One was staffed with a trainee and had a huge line. The other was staffed with a person I’ve seen before – who has worked at nearly every fast food restaurant in the area. I know her to be inefficient, short tempered, and she mumbles. I picked that line, reasoning that at least she would know how to run the register. Once I finally get up to the front, I start my order.

Two hamburgers, lettuce only.

And then I repeat it at her request. She then begins the process of entering that into the register – an expression on her face as though she’s trying to remember a complicated trig formula. After a few moments it looks like she’s closing in on a solution, so I continue with my order.

Medium fries.

Instead of punching that in – she holds up her index finger to silence me. She’s still working on that pesky hamburger problem. Finally, she looks up at and asks what else I want. I tell her Medium Fries – thinking that she may not have gotten that. But, lo, she did get that – and she starts to roll her eyes in impatience at my foolishness. I proceed with the last phase of my order.

Medium coke.

To which she responds by slamming an empty medium sized cup on the counter. Apparently, I am expected to get my own drink. She then mumbles the total – and go with what I see on the display as it’s not even close to what I think I heard her say. $4.08

I hand her a $5 and dig in my pocket for a dime. This combination throws her for a moment and she needs to ring it up so that the computer and do the math for her. She hands me my change and rudely instructs me to wait over to my left. I move into position and begin the waiting.

She bellows incoherently to get someone to come over to her line after inadvertently sending them all away – then waits on the next customer to place their order. Meanwhile, I can see my burgers being made and watch as they are tossed in a bin. The person that waited on me is now ignoring me and that notion that my food is ready – instead, she’s filling the order of the customer behind me. Which includes 6 small milkshakes.

I’m doomed.

After waiting for a few minutes, someone takes pity on me and fills my order, shoving the empty cup in my direction as though to further emphasis that I’ll be expected to get my own damn drink, thank you very much.

Which I proceeded to do and got out of there thankful that I still had my life and most of my wits about me still. Incidentally, no one thanked me to choosing that restaurant or suggested that I have a nice day. I would have doubted their sincerity anyway.

To their credit – my sandwiches were prepared correctly and any scaring will be emotional and therefore not visible to the naked eye.

It used to be good food fast. Then it was mediocre food fast. Then bad food fast. And now it appears to be mediocre food slowly.

And that wraps it up for me. I hadn’t been in this McDonald’s since it opened – and I don’t think I’ll be going back. No catchy jingles or slogans will win me over either – they have fallen too far to be redeemed.

Thus endeth the story and so I do now again return to the task at hand…

Last night I dreamed that I had been involved in an industrial accident involving elmer’s glue. I survived, but ended up being coated in a damage resistant layer of some exotic polymer. And it made me look really shiny when it got wet. So, since I was now more durable than the average person, I was recuited to go on a special mission. I took a series of cabs across town to a confernce center/hotel and was supposed to sneek inside the adjacent building. I found a service entrance and managed to slip into a stairwell, but I could only go up so high before I was forced to exit onto the main floor.

The building turned out to be some kind of training center/ school – and very high security. The stairwells were locked so I couldn’t use them to go up any further and the elevators only had “down” button, unless you had a key. The floorplan had a hallway around the offices in the center and I made a couple of loops trying to find a way up further when a woman noticed I wasn’t supposed to be there. She confronted me and asked what I was doing. I thought about it for a moment, then told her the truth.

There was a transmitter on top of the building that was close enough and powerful enough to a signal from the radio tower nearby. That radio was going to generate a pulse of energy as a test, but it would start a chain reaction that would destroy the atmosphere. If I could get to the roof in time, I would be able to install a tiny microchip in the transmitter that would not only block the signal, but cause it to bounce back. The equipment I had with me would allow me to track where the signal bounced to – and I could then call in that location and get them stopped from trying it again.

She was skeptical, but reassured when I showed her all my equipment and told her that the transmitter was part of the cable tv system for the hotel next door and wouldn’t disrupt her building. I also told her that she could come and watch me work.

So, she agreed and took me to the roof in the elevator. I was in the process of installing the chip when I woke up.

Yeah, I think it’s weird too… Back to work…

Sort of in a weird mood today – could be because I woke up with a line from “The Muppets Take Manhattan” running through my head.

“Because you share a love so big, I now pronouce you Frog and Pig”

I apparently need a great deal of professional help.

In other news, Chewie joins me at work again. He’s not much help, but he does have fun.

1. Chewie visits the internet. You can’t really tell in the picture, but he’s looking up Wookie at Google.

2. Chewie, on the phone, again. It’s the 1-900 calls that really bother me though.

3. Chewie consults the oracle. I wonder what he asked?

4. Not even at work for an hour and he’s already taking a nap. Lazy wookie.

It was a short nap, as he’s over in the corner readying a server administration manual now.

Well, not all of us can goof off at work – I’ve got web pages to build and data to extract. So, it’s time to get back to work…

Had a dream last night that my dad and I were on the run from the Joker (the batman villian, not a playing card). We decided to stop by the house to pick up a few things before leaving town. Dad wanted to take the TV with us, but I was sure that the Joker had gotten to it first and rigged up a trap. So, we wheeled the TV out onto the driveway, connected it to a really long extension cord, and turned it on (using an old style knob instead of a button). With the TV switch in the “on” position, we plugged in the TV from a safe distance. Sure enough, it exploded in a shower of glass and fire.

Dad and I just looked at each other. I wanted to go back inside and get my shoes, but Dad thought the whole place might have been trapped, so we just left a note for my mom and my sister not to go inside and took off. I was still complaining about the shoes when I woke up.

Which is just as well, since I drank way too much water before I went to bed. I must have gotten up 4 times – which is unheard of for me.

Today, when I went to lunch, I tried to get my Usual #1 – rigitoni with meatballs, no sauce. But they were out of meatballs. So, I decided on my Usual #2 – 1 pepperoni and 1 mushroom. Nope, out of mushroom. So, 2 pepperoni. I was waiting for her to tell me she was out of bottle Pepsi too, but they had that and I went on my way. I was only mildy annoyed, which must mean I’m having an okay day.

And that’s it for now – back to work…

Went for a long walk on sunday and came back to find a message on my machine from my sister. Seems she was calling me from the road and had someing weird to report that would be good for my blog – hence this post.

Apparently, a bumblebee struck the antenna of her Jeep Cherokee and got sliced in half. It was still stuck there and one leg was still moving weakly when she called from her cell phone. I’d say the odds of this happening are pretty slim – so it qualifies as weird and thus is appropiate for this blog. (is it also a drive-by-blogging?)

In other news… during my long walk, I noticed not one, but 2 abandoned shoes. They were quite a ways away from each other and not the same type of shoe. Made be wonder though, how a person loses just one shoe? If there are wearing the shoes, then you’d think they’d notice. And if they were transporting them, why would only shoe get lost -wouldn’t they be together? Yes, I’ve actually thought about this.

Today I came into work and fired up my email – over 150 spam messages, most of them in German. I’m not even sure if I should be offended since I can’t read German – but I know I’m annoyed by it.

Well, I guess that’s about it for now – time to get back to work…

Well, today is a kilt day. Work boots and a long sleeve shirt complete the outfit. It’s a little tight around the mid-section – yet another indicator that I need to start working out again. Still, I think it looks good and it’s very comfortable.

Today is the last day of finals week around here – so as tradition goes, someone has dumped some detergent into the big fountain at the entrance to the performing arts hall. There were big piles of foam floating down the street as I drove into work. Officially, as a staff member, I should be upset at the work it will take to clean up the fountain – but it was so pretty I couldn’t be bothered.

Well, looks like I’ve got a lot to do today so it’s time to get back to work…

On the trip back from my folk’s this past Sunday, I had to slow down to go around some debris in the road. It was a somewhat busy road, just off the highway, and there was enough traffic that it was causing a problem. Apparently, a guy was hauling a new mattress and bedframe in the back of his truck and the wind caught it. So, I pulled on past, pulled off to the side, and went and helped him clear the road. Once the road was cleared, we loaded the mattress back into his truck. I offered to help with the rest, but he said he would unload what he had and come back for the pieces. He thanked me several times – I think it surprised him that someone would stop. Just seemed like the thing to do.

I think I’m going to try and react more – helping where appropiate and telling people when they are being annoying.

Yesterday, as I was walking to lunch – I saw a guy with a corn cob pipe. Yes. You read that right. And not just as an affection, he was really smoking it – I could smell it even from a distance. He looked like a reasonable intelligent adult – but the pipe just made him look, well, stupid. He crossed the street before I could say anything.

Last evening, on my walk for art supplies, I stopped at a drug store and bought a Coca-cola – with lime. Now, I’m something of a purist when it comes to my carbonated beverages – but I decided that it sounded good and I’d buy a single 20 oz bottle.

It doesn’t really taste like coke, but hey, not too bad. I don’t think I’m ready to switch over entirely, but it might be good to have again.

That’s it for now, back to work…