I follow a few coworkers on Facebook and while I’m friends with them at work and would be super excited if I ran into them in the “real world”, I’m not likely to interact with them socially outside of work. We’ve all got different lives, friends, and interests.
When I saw that one of my co-workers – Samantha – lost her mother-in-law, I felt sad for her and her husband. But, I don’t really know Samantha that well or her family and didn’t say anything on the post. I didn’t know how to say anything meaningful and personal.
A later post gave her mother-in-law’s name and that really hit me. Her name was Linda and I used to work with her at the Computer Center ages ago in this very small world.
I was a student assistant at the time and working for the Telecommunications department when it came time for our university to host a statewide computer conference. A committee was formed and I somehow ended up representing my department. And no one wanted to be on that committee – it was going to be a lot of work with little recognition for success and far too much scrutiny if things went wrong.
And not only did no one want to be on the committee, no one certainly wanted to lead it. So, in one of our early meetings, it was somehow decided that I would lead the committee. I went along with that since I didn’t understand what I was getting myself into and if memory serves it was at the urging of one of the more mean-spirited staff members.
I was in over my head with tons of responsibility and no authority. And as a student assistant, I couldn’t order/assign any tasks to the full time folks with any reasonable chance of seeing them actually get done.
And I would have been doomed, except for Linda. She was the budget coordinator for the division at the time and she had my back in the best way possible.
She let me make decisions and guided me if I went too far off the rails. She kept helped keep the meetings on track without taking over – and helped me push back if the other staff didn’t pull their weight.
Nobody wanted to get on the Budget Coordinator’s bad side. 🙂
So, I ran the committee, made plans and decisions, and with a little luck and Linda’s help the conference was a rousing success.
Afterwards, it turned out we’d done a little better than expected with our expenses and had a little money left over. Linda suggested we use that to buy some picnic tables for the computer center. She didn’t just buy them, she consulted with me as the head of the committee – and as much as anything that helped me feel like I was respected and part of the team.
Linda was smart, had a great sense of humor, and her thoughtful guidance – when she could have easily just taken over – helped that student assistant learn a little about leadership.
The calling hours are this afternoon. I’m going to put on a tie and get dressed up a bit and go pay my respects. It’s going to be awkward and uncomfortable – but I think it’s the right thing to do.
So, this morning as I sit here with a cup of tea and my laptop, my heart is heavy as I remember Linda.