Last week, I sat through a webinar on some changes to our e-commerce system. I had a chat window open with my boss and shared my comments and observations. Here is the transcript of that session:
[9/1/2016 1:21 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
watching a ******* recorded webinar. I’m hoping they really have some good news about the emarket, but I think it’s at the end of the video. Currently, I’m losing the will to live.
Everything is darkness.
[9/1/2016 1:23 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
Sorrow hangs over me like a cloud, weeping tears of abject despair.
If bleakness was a tree, my heart would be covered by a forest.
[9/1/2016 1:25 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
I may never wake from this endless nightmare.
[9/1/2016 1:29 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
Has time stopped? Do the sands no longer flow?
[9/1/2016 1:30 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
Even my blood slows in my veins. My heart strains to beat against the sluggish bracken.
[9/1/2016 1:33 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
But, wait, is there hope? Is there actual relevant information? Could this be what I have waited for all these years? Is this.. is this the light?
[9/1/2016 1:38 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
But they tease! They tease me with cosmetic changes! Strumpets! Where is the substance?
[9/1/2016 1:42 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
Names. Names. A legion of new names. Still, they stink of the pit.
[9/1/2016 1:50 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
Ah, mighty AJAX. He strides onto the field like a warrior. Oh, but wait, it’s but a mask. His face revealed – a tired and cowardly pretender.
[9/1/2016 1:52 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
A plague upon thy house. Tis smoke and mirrors! Where are the templates? Where is the CSS? Dost thou care nothing for internet standards? Vile wenches…
[9/1/2016 1:57 PM] Kreider,Eric W:
I see you holding one of the brains from your jar out and speaking to it a la Hamlet
[9/1/2016 2:00 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
Hamlet got off easy. This, this is madness. Ophelia was a light-hearted nymph compared to this travesty.
[9/1/2016 2:01 PM] Kreider,Eric W:
lol Strumpets! In the court!
[9/1/2016 2:01 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
I Fall! I fall upon my stake! Tis my only escape.
[9/1/2016 2:02 PM] Kreider,Eric W:
Another unrecoverable hour goes by…
[9/1/2016 2:04 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
Would that lightning strike my screen and end this now. The seconds of misery creep… ah, but soft! Tis ended! My heart leaps at freedom!
[9/1/2016 2:05 PM] Kreider,Eric W:
*shaking head smiling but still, sad*
[9/1/2016 2:06 PM] Serpette,Anthony W:
I shall share this with noble Kevin, he who is Rushing. Mayhap his wisdom will enlighten.
Clearly, I need to read more Shakespeare and incorporate that style into my everyday conversations. It’ll make the meetings more interesting, anyway.