This weekend I was sick. Headache, sore throat, sinus pressure – and mucus. More mucus than I realized a human being could produce. It was terrible. I filled a small trash can with klennex in no time at all. So, I’ve been jamming on Tylonal cold medicine most of the time and I think I’m getting better. Maybe.
I was driving on the highway on Friday and the far left lane – where I’m at – suddenly comes to a halt. I swear for a bit – but hold my ground in the hope that it will eventually clear instead of creating a problem in the next lane over by everyone moving to it.
Eventually, after much stop and go – I see a truck with one of those ——> signs on the back. Indicating that we should all get over. With some difficulty, I do. We finally go past the obstrutction and find that it’s…
1. The truck with the arrow, parked in the lane with the driver in the cab.
2. Two police officers standing next to their cruisers. Unhurt. Just chatting.
3. One motorcycle, upright and undamaged. The rider was just getting on the bike, he was unhurt. His helmet was on resting on the ground, undamaged.
4. One woman, also unhurt. Walking over to her undamaged car.
Now, I clearly don’t have the whole story. But at this point – everyone that was still there at the scene should have gotten away from there and freed up traffice – instead of standing there chatting. You want to chat? Go to Starbucks.
After this incident, I’m near my destination, but running on fumes. I pull into a gas station and see two pumps open on the right side of my car. I started to pull forward to go to the far one – as a courtesy – but notive a kid standing on the far pump’s island. He’s trying to direct a woman in a huge car to that pump – she’s making a wide loop to bring the left side of her car into postion. Now, I’ve never needed anyone to direct me to a pump to fill my car – but even with help she wasn’t doing a good job. I backed up to get away from her to the point where I wasn’t sure I could reach my gas tank at the second pump. She ended up vaguely near the pump, but mostly out in the isle. The kid proceeded to pump the gas. I pumped my gas and got out of there well before they were done.
Later that weekend I find myself traveling down a residental alleyway, one lane, and encounter a little girl on a bike. I’ve had dealings with this little girl before and based on her previous behavior I know her to be…
1. Arrogant
2. Foolishly unobservant
3. Annoying
4. Stupid
She’s on her little pink bike, riding right down the middle of the alley, coming right towards me. I slow down to a crawl and wait for her to get out of the way. I reach the cross intersection before she does, and I don’t deviate from my course. Still, she keeps coming. I slow even further, prepared to stop and let her hit my car. Might be funny.
At the last possible moment, she darts into a single car parking space at the back of the building. I figure she’s going to wait until I get past – which would be the sensible thing to do. Instead, she turns around and darts right back into my way – now headed away from me but still in the way.
What had been a game of chickcn or some kind of mind game has turned into rampant stupidity. As she pedels along she keeps looking back to see:
1. if I’m there. Duh, it’s an alley, where am I going to go?
2. how close I am. If she was worried about me hitting her, why did she get in front of me again?
She reaches an intersection of a main street and, without looking, darts into traffic. She looks back one last time as I turn onto the street and I raise my fingers to my forehead in the international “loser” symbol.
We both survived the encounter – but I doubt either of us will be the same.
Back to work…
